Work Text:
On the morning of the first of July, Taeyong awakes to the sound of Jaehyun and Johnny whispering and bickering outside his bedroom door.
It’s bizarre to think of it as his bedroom door, even though he’s slept in this room too many times to count, and he hasn’t officially moved all of his stuff in here: some of it’s still at his other dorm room, and some of it is in cardboard boxes scattered in various spots around the apartment floor. But his sheets are on the mattress and his head is on his own pillow, and he lives here, now, with Jaehyun and Johnny.
Jaehyun and Johnny, who are softly thumping and hissing at each other from just outside his door.
“Uh. Good morning?” Taeyong calls, uncertain, wiping the sleep dust from the inner corners of his eyes.
“See, I told you you were being too loud,” grumbles Johnny, who had definitely been much louder than Jaehyun, but Jaehyun doesn’t protest.
“Can we come in?” Jaehyun asks instead.
Something smells amazing. “Of course,” Taeyong says, propping himself up against the bed frame.
Johnny pokes his head in, and Taeyong feels something akin to affection slink through his chest, deceptive and sugar-sweet like a stray cat. He’s dressed extra nice today, because he has that interview for a TA position, Taeyong remembers.
After Johnny comes Jaehyun, for whom Taeyong’s love blooms much brighter and warmer. In his arms, Jaehyun bears a tray with a hot cup of what smells like coffee, and a plate with some rice and eggs, and on his face he bears a big smile, and on his head he bears some of the worst bed hair Taeyong has ever seen. People always tell him he has a crush on Jaehyun. He doesn’t know how to explain that a safe place, someone to smile at across a table, a home - these things aren’t just romantic inclinations. They’re different. Maybe more.
“Happy birthday!” they chorus together, a little out of time and giggly.
“Oh,” says Taeyong, realising why they’re here, and his stomach does a triple-backflip and sticks the landing perfectly. “I - you didn’t have to do anything-”
“We know,” Jaehyun interrupts, kindly. “We wanted to, hyung.”
“Yeah, it’s like we’re your friends, or something,” Johnny teases. “I’m sorry I can’t stay, I’ve got this-”
“Interview,” Taeyong nods, “I hope it goes well.”
“I took the day off, though,” Jaehyun says, almost bashful, and Taeyong gets why. It’s a big deal for Jaehyun to take a break, even for an hour, let alone for a whole day. “So we can hang out. Do something.”
“You didn’t have to,” Taeyong says again, and the other two roll their eyes and laugh. As Jaehyun sets the tray of food down on Taeyong’s lap, Johnny leans over and puts an arm around Taeyong’s shoulders, squeezing tight, and drops a goofy kiss on the top of his head.
Taeyong feels a little choked at the touch, his jaw clenching instinctively. He tries not to think too hard about it, tries to breathe and smile as Johnny says, “See you later, Tae! Jaehyun-ah!” and they wish him a final “Good luck!”. The discomfort that comes with their physical affection will go away one day, Taeyong assures himself. Just as soon as he gets used to it, that’s all.
Jaehyun perches on the edge of the bed and hands Taeyong some cutlery. He’s still smiling, that same smile that makes the girls in their classes ask if he’s a movie star, but with his hair all over the place, wearing one of Johnny’s too-big, slightly-stained pajama t-shirts, to Taeyong he just looks like friendliness and calm, like not having to hold his breath like he has been for the rest of his life.
“So,” says Jaehyun, “What’s on the agenda for today?”
Taeyong takes a bite of the eggs as he contemplates his answer. “I have a guest lecture to attend,” he says, uncertainly. “But I don’t have to go if you - like, you’ve taken this time off, and whatever. It’s only two hours, and it’s in the morning, so I don’t have to go.”
“Do you want to go?” Jaehyun asks, stealing a sip of the coffee from the mug on the tray. Taeyong leans back against the headboard and scans him for any signals, but Jaehyun’s face is, as normal, neutrally, pleasantly open.
“I should go,” he says, after a moment. “I’d - I’d like to. At least so my professor knows I’m being engaged or whatever. But I’ve got the rest of the day free for us to do… anything, I guess.”
Pulling his phone out of his pocket, Jaehyun opens a new note and starts a bullet point list. “Okay. I’m going to build us an itinerary. First, breakfast. Second, go to this mini-conference thing. Third…?”
“Hold on,” says Taeyong, choking on his rice a little, “you want to come to some niche guest lecture with me?”
“Can I?”
Jaehyun is holding back his laughter, eyes sparkling. Taeyong feels so lucky he could melt, or cry, but he does neither.
“Of course you can. If you really want.”
“Okay, so,” Jaehyun nods, “Lecture. Then what?”
The day ends up going somewhat like this:
Breakfast, which Jaehyun helps Taeyong eat, because Johnny definitely made the food based on how much he himself would eat and not Taeyong’s much smaller appetite. (“Honestly,” Taeyong says, “I’m just proud he’s cooking.”) Then, Jaehyun helps Taeyong gather his books and his laptop, and they go to Taeyong’s lecture together, Jaehyun paying a comical amount of attention in a lecture that, in all honesty, Taeyong may have otherwise spent on his phone. He forgets what Jaehyun’s like, how intense he is about anything related to university, even when it’s not his own class, even though that’s how they met. His teacher shakes his hand on their way out and says he’s glad to see an undergraduate student caring about his subject, which is the whole reason Taeyong turned up, so he leaves happy.
After the talk, Taeyong is worried they won’t know what to do, but it turns out there’s a lot of things he’s happy to do when someone else is there. They spend the morning in the art gallery Taeyong has been meaning to visit since it opened, and the afternoon in a bowling alley-joined-with-an-arcade, bowling gutterball after gutterball and wasting what little money they have on Space Invaders and Pacman. Taeyong wins a stuffed Pokemon toy in the claw machine (perhaps not entirely legitimately, but no arcade game with prizes is legitimate anyway), which he gives to Jaehyun without thinking.
“This feels like it’s my birthday!” Jaehyun beams, overjoyed, as he holds the stuffed toy to his chest, looking for all his breadth and height like he’s eight years old. Taeyong feels like he’s done something right, for once.
When they finally get back to the apartment, the lights are off, and Taeyong can’t help but feel a little relieved. Today has been magic, but he’s also been queasy and on the verge of tears for half of it because of all the attention.
“Thank you for today.” He turns to face Jaehyun in the entry hall, as Jaehyun slips off his shoes, Bulbasaur toy still tucked under his arm. Jaehyun stops to look at him, all tired, warm, familiar smile, and Taeyong understands why people always think they’re dating, why earlier when they were at the bowling alley, the girl gave them two straws, one pink and one blue, in Jaehyun’s sundae. Jaehyun’s warmth is infectious and can come across romantic to those who don’t read him right, just as Taeyong’s awkwardness can come across as rudeness or cruelty. “I, uh - I’ve never.” He swallows. “Anyway. Thank you. I had fun.”
“Best birthday ever, right?” Jaehyun says, cocky and gentle at once, like he heard everything Taeyong didn’t say loud and clear. “No worries, hyung. I had fun too. I never knew that you could cheat at arcade games like that, either!”
Taeyong laughs, and Jaehyun gestures for him to go ahead into the kitchen.
At which point, there are sudden sound and noise, loud cheering and the lights are all on and there’s -
Yuta and Sicheng and Taeil all bundled on the back of the couch, Doyoung and Jungwoo behind them, and then Johnny, and Ten, standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the cramped little kitchen doorway, wearing matching enormous smiles, holding between them a messily iced, lopsided cake with candles strewn about it.
“Surprise!” says Ten, again, or perhaps just later than everyone else.
“Happy birthday, Tae!” says Johnny, beaming.
And. Fuck. Taeyong has been holding it back all day, the feeling of overwhelm, of unfamiliarity, of warmth and kindness and -
“Oh,” says Ten, immediately shoving the rest of the cake into Johnny’s hands (and it almost spills but Johnny balances on his giraffe legs and manages to prevent disaster), “Taeyong - hey, come here-”
Ten wraps his tiny self around Taeyong and the touch makes Taeyong cave, shedding a few weak tears into Ten’s shoulder.
“Are they happy tears, love?” Ten checks, giggling, rubbing Taeyong’s back.
Are they? For a moment, Taeyong can’t even tell. But he thinks, from the bubbling feeling, like laughter brewing in his throat, from the floaty feeling that makes him lift his toes,
“Yeah,” he mumbles, and Ten whoops.
“Happy tears!” crows Johnny, and everyone cheers, and Taeyong has never felt love like this in his life but he’s starting to think he could warm up to it, given time.
Ten makes him a drink while Yuta and the others shower Taeyong in typical university student birthday presents: a bottle of soju, a movie gift card, a new planner for the school year ahead. The kinds of presents Taeyong has seen other people receive, but not really - anyway. He treasures them deeply, can’t manage to respond with anything more eloquent than, “Oh. Thanks. Um - thanks so much, guys, really.”
“Can we crack this open?” Ten asks slyly, running a finger across the side of the bottle of soju. “I have a feeling we could all use some.”
Taeyong laughs, feels his shoulders lose some of their constant weight, and Jaehyun kicks his ankle under the table. Up to you , he mouths. Always checking Taeyong’s okay.
“Yeah,” Taeyong sighs, to the excitement of everyone, “Yeah, okay. Let’s get drunk.”
Taeyong can feel that he’s pretty gone, and Ten is only making him worse by mixing each drink slightly stronger than the last, that devilish gleam in his eyes. Jaehyun himself looks a little dopey and tipsy (always a lightweight) by the time Taeyong leans his head back into the couch cushion and sighs out a breath.
“Cake!” Ten yells, just as Taeyong’s relaxed. Which is typical. They all sing happy birthday, which normally Taeyong hates, but the genuine smiles around him turn it into something warm. He blows out the candles (wishes for Jaehyun’s marks to be what he wants them to be, not that he’d ever admit it) and they each eat a slice, vanilla with hundreds-and-thousands falling off everywhere.
“Are you happy?” whispers Jaehyun. Not are you having fun?, but are you happy ? And he bumps the back of his hand against Taeyong’s.
Too drunk to properly control his response, Taeyong shudders and says, “I never know what to do when you do that.”
Blinking, a little alarmed, Jaehyun says, “When I do - what? Sorry, hyung.”
He’s going to regret this, Taeyong knows. Ten is right there by them on the couch, and he has ears like a bat, so he must be listening in.
“People never used to - you guys just hug me, or - or mess up my hair, or whatever,” Taeyong says, slurring a little more than he’d like. “And sometimes it makes me feel weird. I don’t know what to do.”
Ten’s definitely listening in, because even in his drunkenness, Taeyong sees his eyes widen, his pupils flick over to Taeyong. Jaehyun looks taken aback, too.
“Okay,” says Ten, firm and unabashed about interrupting. “The only way to fix that is exposure therapy.”
Taeyong’s brain takes a moment to catch up. “You don’t think I’m weird?”
“Of course you’re weird, Taeyong,” Ten snorts, “have you met all of us? Have you met Johnny? Me? Fuck,
Yuta
?” Taeyong laughs, and Yuta says
hey!
From across the room without really sounding offended. Ten softens, which he doesn’t do often. “But there’s nothing wrong with not having friends. I didn’t have friends, not really, when I moved here from Thailand. Johnny rescued me from my loneliness.”
Johnny pretends to wipe a tear from his eyes and blows Ten a kiss. Ten catches it in his hand and callously throws it over his shoulder, ignoring Johnny’s hurt gasp.
“Anyway, what matters is that you have us now,” Ten says, “and we’re not going anywhere. It’s your damn birthday, let Jaehyun give you a hug.”
Sober Taeyong would have blushed and stuttered and ran to hide. Drunk Taeyong does the first two but lacks the motor control to pull off the final step, and Jaehyun gets this
look
in his eyes, the same one he gets the day before an exam, determined and unstoppable.
“Come here,” he insists, to Taeyong, and tugs him in.
At first, it’s… awkward. Taeyong’s cheek is pressed to Jaehyun’s shoulder, and Jaehyun’s fingers are gripping his arm a little too tightly, and it’s sort of at a weird angle for Taeyong’s neck, and Taeyong doesn’t know what to do with his hands.
But Jaehyun shifts, adjusts so that Taeyong can rest back against him, and starts running his fingers through Taeyong’s hair. The stiffness gives way to the soft, and Taeyong feels himself relaxing without trying, the hot flush of being drunk making the whole thing a little too warm for the summer night, and perfect.
“There,” Ten shrugs, and then hands Taeyong another drink. “Anyway, so what I was trying to tell the room about before you had a crisis was that I’d dropped my camera lens cover down into this crevice, right? But I was missing my shoe as well, so-”
The conversation around them transitions from rambunctious to muted as everyone gets drunker and more tired. Johnny falls asleep in the big armchair in the corner, and Jaehyun’s fingers slow in Taeyong’s hair until they’re just resting on the top of his head. Eventually Ten, too, is fast asleep. Yuta, Taeil and Sicheng see themselves out, wishing Taeyong a happy birthday, and Doyoung and Jungwoo follow soon after, Doyoung sober so he can drive them both home.
“Have a good night,” Doyoung says, soft.
“You two have fun,” Jungwoo giggles, still tipsy, and Doyoung bats his arm, but doesn’t look too annoyed.
“Thanks, guys, goodnight,” Taeyong manages through his droopy eyelids, but it stirs the first discomfort he’s felt in a few hours. Once they’re gone out the door and he hears it close, he shifts a little under Jaehyun’s arm. “Jae, you know I don’t have a crush on you, right?” he mumbles, unable to help his eyes falling closed.
“Course,” Jaehyun says, sounding equally drowsy. He’s so warm, Taeyong knows he should move away, but now that he’s got this, he never wants to let it go. He wants to drink in this affection and casual closeness til he’s drunk on this and this alone. “Course I know that. I don’t have a crush on you either.”
“Good,” Taeyong murmurs. “But you know you’re my best friend?”
“Don’t tell Johnny,” Jaehyun whispers, “but you’re mine too. In a different way.”
A different way . Taeyong loves that Jaehyun gets it, gets exactly how Taeyong feels, about how just sitting on the couch like this is everything he’ll ever want from this, and that it’s precious to him.
“‘M gonna go to sleep,” Taeyong admits. “If that’s okay?”
“Of course,” Jaehyun says again, slow and deep. “Happy birthday, hyung.”
Cuddling down, Taeyong dozes off, thinking of all the time he gets to spend here, in this house he gets to live in, with these people he gets to be friends with, and he’s happy. In that moment, he’s happy.