Work Text:
Dear person of interest,
I am writing to you because I have found that I don’t like the current way of approaching someone via online social media and would rather do something else. So here I am, writing on paper, hoping to get your attention. If you’ve made it to this sentence, thank you, because I am having one hell of a time trying to figure out how to start this damn thing. Who would have thought that the process of writing a letter is actually pretty damn difficult?
If you are continuing to read, keep going, because I’m actually going to get to the point I’m trying to make. I don’t know if you managed to read into the very first thing on this paper, but if you didn’t, I’ll say it again. You are a person of interest, as in, I am interested in you.
So, if you would indulge me, a stranger, into meeting around the back corner of the school after are final bell has rung (and if you ride the bus, I’ll be in the same spot around 7:15am tomorrow morning so you don’t miss it) so I can give you a ‘proper’ confession.
Thank you for your time!
Sincerely,
-A person that is interested.
“Okay, seriously? Who the fuck gave this to you, Gavin?” Michael laughed out loud after he finished reading the ridiculous note. Gavin, Michael, and Ray were sitting at a lunch table in the Commons area of their high school looking over the supposed love note that Gavin had found in his locker earlier that day.
Gavin merely shrugged at Michael’s question but Ray pointed to the bottom, “Can’t you read? It says ‘a person that is interested.’ Jesus.”
Michael swatted Ray with the back of his hand, “Okay genius, who the hell is that person, then? I thought that all the girls knew about Gavin ‘heartbreaker’ Free.”
Gavin huffed after taking a swig of his milk, “I’m not that bad.”
Ray gestured at him with a fork-stabbed chicken nugget, “That’s bullshit. The girls even made a ‘don’t date Gavin Free’ club just because of you.”
The group continued to exchange insults and laughter while they ate. The note was folded up and slipped into Gavin’s back pocket and they soon changed subjects. As they finished their food, they put their trays away and stood near the steps so they could go to class when the bell rang.
“So, you gonna go talk to them?” Michael asked out of the blue.
“What?” Gavin gawked.
“Them. That person. You know, the one that’s interested in you? You going to go talk to them after school? I’ll wait for you because Ray and I don’t have to work after school so we can spare some time.” Michael said, since he gave them all rides home after school in his shitty pickup truck.
Gavin remained silent for a second. His brain processed at the speed of a Play Station 1 game. Ray and Michael made odd faces at him as he thought his answer through. They could literally see the moment he came to his conclusion as his eyes widened and a smile flashed on his face.
“Yeah. I think I will. Normally I don’t give a shit, but this sounds like an exciting chick. Gonna tell her no if she asks me out though.”
“What makes you think it’s a chick?” Ray scoffed.
“Yeah, maybe a dude wants your dick.” Michael added in.
Gavin tilted his head, “I’m still gonna tell him no.”
“Good luck heartbreaker.” Said Ray before the bell rang and they went to their respective classes.
--
Really, Gavin didn’t care. He had gone through multiple girlfriends, looking for a girl that would understand him beyond the ‘douchey brit’ persona he had painted on his face. Every girl would flip her hair, smile, and pretend to like him until the magic wore off. Then they’d get frustrated when he closed himself off. Eventually it would get to the point where Gavin wouldn’t even talk to the girl anymore. That’s why he was called the heartbreaker.
Even if it wasn’t entirely his fault.
At this point, this note was another girl with another game to play, and he didn’t have any energy to care. No matter her sob story no matter how much she pleaded and begged that she would love him, he would say no.
So with a confident look he headed out the door and walked along the side of the building to head toward the location the person in the note had mentioned. Michael and Ray had given him some good luck thumbs up beforehand. Good friends, he’d keep them.
He turned the corner and expected to see some shy, but still quirky girl standing there with her hands folded in her lap, a blush painted across her face, and maybe staring at the blades of grass beneath her feet with the most interests she could muster. What Gavin found however, was a tall upperclassmen relaxing against the wall with this hands rested behind his head. Gavin knew who he was, hell, most of the school knew who he was. He was Joel Heyman, lead of the past three Musicals, and had already secured some really nice scholarships for drama. The man had a good chance at life ahead of him, and thinking about it, someone like him would be the one to write that silly note.
“Uh. Hey there.” Gavin said approaching the older man carefully.
Joel didn’t pry himself from the wall, instead he smiled and gave Gavin a small nod of recognition, “Hey. ‘Sup?”
“I—I uh.” Shit. Gavin was actually kind of nervous about this. Joel seemed way too cool about confession. Something had to be wrong. “I got… I got your note.”
Joel’s face fell and he pushed himself from the wall. Perfectly tanned skin paled to bed-sheet white in an instant and Gavin felt his stomach drop from the horrified look Joel was giving him. “You? But—No. Aw fuck!” Joel exclaimed, kicking at the grass and pulling his hair.
“Uh.” Was all Gavin managed to say as the Senior continued having a minor conniption fit in front of him. “You... alright there, Joel?”
After an exaggerated breath, Joel looked Gavin square in the eyes. “Yeah. I guess. But that note wasn’t for you. Dear god, it was not for you.”
Gavin squinted and took out the note, handing it over to Joel. “You sure? It was in my locker.”
Joel took the note from Gavin’s hands and looked it over. After confirming that it was his note, he shoved his face into the piece of paper and groaned loudly. “Stupid fucking stupid dumb Joel. No. I put the damn thing in the wrong locker.”
“Who was it for, then?” Gavin’s curiosity asked for him.
Joel’s face turned bright red, peeking barely from the top of the note. In that moment, it was as if he’d shrunk into a little 13 year old with a huge crush, and was about to explode just thinking about them. The way Joel jiggled back and forth made Gavin almost want to laugh at him.
“Uhm. Can you keep a secret? Like, manswear this to the grave? Please?” He squeaked out.
Gavin rolled his eyes, “Yeah. Sure. Whatever. If anything, if I said anything, I’d be helping you out. I mean, you realize who you are, right? You’re the equivalent of the stereotyped popular jock. You could get anyone you wanted.”
“If only that were true.” Joel said with a sigh. “I’ve actually been kinda… crushing on him since middle school, so yeah. There’s something about this kid that I’ve always really liked. He seems so fascinating. I feel like he tries to cling to walls to make himself disappear, but I see him slither, I see him there, you know? Probably not, it’s a weird concept. But I feel like that if I confessed he would explode in the best way a person could explode that’s not sexual.” Joel continued his nervous blathering until Gavin actually put his hand on his mouth to shut him up.
“Okay, I get it. Jesus.” Gavin said, removing his hand, “Now, will you tell me who it is?”
Joel cleared his throat, “It’s… your friend, Ray.”
Gavin’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull. Damn, then the locker mistake wasn’t too far off. Just one locker, and if Joel had been in a rush, it made perfect sense. Ray would have gotten a kick out of the dramatic flair of the note, and Joel probably had a poem in his pocket to woo Ray further. Knowing Ray, he would have eaten that shit up. It was actually kind of funny how narrowly Joel had his missed his mark. Gavin actually laughed out loud.
“Hey. Don’t laugh! It’s not that funny!” Joel snarled.
Gavin laughed even harder, “It really is! Ray is such a loser! He’s my friend, but jesus that kid is a such a loser! And you of all people have had a hopeless crush on the world’s most oblivious nerd. That’s incredible.” Gavin nearly doubled over, wheezing at the idea. “How did you even notice that wallflower?!”
“He’s—He’s really cute, okay? He’s weirdly shy, but really confident when comfortable about his surroundings. It’s fun to watch him in between those stages. I overhear his dry wit and it makes me smile for the rest of the day. And I just want to get to know him better. Hell, I don’t care if he rejects me, I just want a chance to get to know him.” Joel spluttered, defending his feelings the best he could.
“Okay, okay I get it.” Gavin said, wiping away a tear. He walked around to Joel’s side and grabbed him around the shoulder, “I’ll help you bag him and shag him, alright?”
Joel blinked, “But why would you do that?”
“Because that loser is my friend, and he deserves someone that actually seems to give a shit about him.” Gavin said confidently.
--
“Do you think they’re fucking already?” Michael laughed as he sat behind the wheel of his truck.
Ray had stretched himself across the tiny back, and pulled out his Vita. He was tapping away at the game and barely missed what Michael had said. “Oh totally. In the open. Her arms scraping against the brick walls as she screams Gavin’s name over and over again. Gav’s massive cock is plunging into her and he’s not making a single sound as he goes deeper with each thrust. Her hole is quivering, her whole body shaking, her soft breasts bounce with every movement, she’s reaching her first climax that no other lover has given her.”
“Oh MY GOD SHUT UP.” Michael screamed, cutting Ray off rom saying any more. “I just asked a question, I wasn’t asking for the last porno you watched.”
Ray didn’t respond after that, choosing to leave his attention to his Vita. Persona 4: The Golden, bitch. He’s got to make the most out of the Souji and Yosuke homo subtext somehow. It helped he was in Kanji’s bad bad bathhouse of all places too. So as he wandered his way in the sauna of a dungeon, he soon heard Michael say, “Hey, he’s coming back.” Sitting up, Ray saw their gangly Brit meander over to the truck and yank the door open.
“Hey. How’d it go?” Michael asked as soon Gavin had pulled himself inside.
“Yeah, did you fuck her?” Ray chirped.
“Shut up, both of you.” Gavin said as Michael turned the key, roaring the truck to life. “As a matter of fact, it went a little better than expected. Turns out he made a little mistake is all.”
Michael’s eyebrows lifted in surprise, “He? As in it was actually a dude? Damn, I was kidding about it being a guy. Did he think you were gay or something? We aren’t gay, what the hell.”
“Excuse me. I’m pansexual, remember dipshit?” Ray interrupted.
“Right, sorry, I forgot Ray was a frying pan fucker.”
“Michael I take offense to that.”
“Fuck. Sorry, didn’t actually mean it.”
“ ‘s’okay.” Ray mumbled, sliding down in his seat, so the belt was resting at the bottom of his jaw.
“Anyway,” Gavin continued, “Yeah, he screwed up and put the note in the wrong locker. It wasn’t me he was after.”
Ray straightened up, leaned forward, and looked at Gavin, “Who was he intending the note for, also who WAS he?”
Gavin tapped his chin, getting lost in thought. The question appeared to be too much for him, or he had to pick his next words very carefully. To Ray, always having to wait for Gavin to answer was the worst, especially because Ray was the kind of person to rollercoaster his words without a second thought.
“Nah. Don’t worry about it. He was no one, and does it really matter who note was for?” Gavin eventually said. Michael gave Gavin a side-glance, as if he knew more than he let on.
“Got it.” Michael said, turning into Ray’s driveway. “Alright, Gavin, move your ass and let Ray out.”
Ray slipped out of the vehicle and went straight to his homework. Occasionally thoughts about the note would slip into his mind. Whoever wrote the note seemed interesting, like they had a mind that went faster than they could handle. Words upon words upon words running a marathon with no finish line in sight. He should have asked Gavin if he still had the note so he could keep it for himself. Yeah, it would be a little weird keeping a note meant for someone else, but maybe he could pretend that someone had their mind racing because of him.
Man, the idea was kinda stupid, putting more thought into it.
--
Dear my actual person of interest,
I’m writing to you because I have made a grave mistake and placed a previous note in the wrong locker. A big nose whistled at me about the correct location of you, so here I am, in your locker this time. You know, because you are the one that I have stupid hopeless feelings for. Not that I’m a creep or anything, just the opposite, I like to think. You know, because usually when people have hopeless feelings they are unrequited and they fester like an infected cut and everything gets gross and sometimes deadly. I don’t think my feelings are gross, but then I’m me and I am going to think positively about my feelings. Of course.
One thing I plan on doing this time is not calling you out to the back of the school for some creepy meeting. No, not at all. Because that big nose also whistled about a more delicate way to win your heart over. Unfortunately, that will include actually talking to you, so that may give me away, but I’m hoping you are as oblivious as your friend (that has pretty much betrayed you) has led me to believe.
Although, I may break the dam of my feelings eventually and declare my feelings for you in some dramatic fashion, I’ll try to keep the embarrassment levels at a low level. You might still want to move after I’m done dumping out my buckets of feelings though. I honestly won’t blame you if you run away screaming.
Anyway, here’s to hoping that things go well between us,
-A person that is interested in you.
The deepest part of Ray wanted to cry in happiness at he read the note he had found at the bottom of his locker. He was overwhelmed with the thought of this person actually being interested in him. His stomach was in butterflies, and he was biting his finger trying to hold back the tiny excited noises that were threatening to escape. This was a time where he was supposed to act like the note was no big deal, to act like it didn’t matter. He was supposed to be cool, and maybe borderline uncaring like Gavin, but he couldn’t brush it off like that.
Someone had feelings for him.
Too bad they planned on playing it out a little longer.
Ray slipped the note into his wallet. He’d tell Michael about it at lunch, the same time he’d murder Gavin for lying to his face.
--
“Okay, Gavin, so why didn’t you tell me that I was the dude’s object of affection?” Ray said as he slammed his tray down in mock anger. His mashed gook that the school called food sloshed around on his tray, splattering over into Gavin’s food. The other man grimaced at his now ruined food and glared at Ray.
“I’m not gonna tell you now after you ruined my food!” Gavin spat, sliding his tray away from Ray and closer to Michael who was snickering at them both.
“Who is he?” Ray questioned.
“Nope.”
Ray turned to Michael, “Who is he? I know Gavin told you.”
Michael shrugged and looked away, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
Ray tossed the note on the table. The piece of paper was folded into a perfect little square. “The note, shithead, I got a note from the guy, saying that it was me he wanted the first time and not tall and scraggly over here.”
“Awwww.” Michael cooed, “Someone loves you.”
Ray’s eyes narrowed, “Yeah, now who is he?”
“Nope!” Michael and Gavin said at the same time, putting their arms around each other and lifting their milk cartons like beer mugs.
“You guys are the shittiest friends.” Ray spat, “I have to go take a piss.” He pulled himself away from the table in a big huff. Smoke poured from his ears as he stomped away from the table like a toddler. As an insult came to mind, he stopped dead in his tracks and spun on his heel.
“And another THIN—Oof!” Ray was stopped as a body slammed straight into him, sending his skinny little body to the floor with a loud slap of skin against the surface. For a moment, he swore he heard his skull crack open and his brains were probably pooling out. Rest in fucking pieces, Ray.
The person that bumped into Ray apologized. “Oh shit sorry about that Ray, I was expecting you to keep going at your pace so I figured I’d be fine.” Ray looked up at the other, and it turned out to be Joel Heyman. Wait. Did he just say Ray’s name? Like Joel actually knew who he was? Ray’s mouth gaped open as Joel offered his hand and lifted him straight off the ground.
Ray floundered, “It’s uh. It’s alright man, don’t worry. But uh.—“ Ray pointed at himself, “You know my name?”
“Hi. Tiny school system. You’re only a year younger than me. We also attended the same middle school. I know who you are, yes.” Joel smirked. He brushed past him and tapped his shoulder, “We can talk some other time. I’ve got to get to the Choir room. See ya, Ray.”
Ray helplessly stared after him, “Uh. Bye, Joel.”
He momentarily forgot exactly how mad he was at Michael and Gavin.
It not that he was starstruck or anything, it was that he was getting far more attention than he was used to. More recognition for existing than only his buddies and various online companions. It was weird, and left him dumbfounded.
--
Dear person of interest,
How are you? I hope you liked the note. My sources have told me that you were pretty heated up about it, demanding to know who I was. That actually kinda makes my stone heart flutter because it means you care. Yay caring. Whoops, don’t want to turn this into a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic plot.
Or do I?
Anyway, it excites me to know that you are interested and not creeped out by my anonymous advances toward your heart. Makes me want to pick you up and toss you around in my not-toned-but-still-has-some-semblance-of-muscle arms. Okay. So that was weird. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean for that.
I would totally give you piggybacks to all your classes though. Not every day, but maybe like one day. And if any teachers tried to make me put you down, I’d just run. My reputation be damned.
You are worth it.
-A person that is interested
“Jesus Christ, Ray, you’ve been staring at that note since this morning.” Michael said while pushing Gavin around. They had finished their lunch and were now waiting by the stairs. Gavin had said something dumb, and Michael was trying to get him in a headlock. Ray, who tended to avoid such physical play, was leaning against the wall and staring at the note lovingly.
“Yes.” Ray stated, rereading the note for the 22nd time that day.
Michael had Gavin on the floor, and a foot in the middle of his abdomen establishing his dominance. “That wasn’t a question, Ray.” Gavin squirmed and made odd noises below him.
Ray smirked, folding the note finally and putting it in his back pocket. “I know it wasn’t.” He responded.
“You’re like, obsessed with this dude, and you’ve only gotten two letters from him. Are you sure he’s not some serial killer or something?”
“I don’t know Michael, is he?” Ray shot back, “Since you know who he is and all.”
Michael rolled his eyes, removing his foot from Gavin’s chest. “Well, yeah, I know who he is, but I don’t know him that well. He could still be a murderer.” The next move he made was to yank the stick of a boy up from the floor. With newfound freedom, Gavin wandered away.
“Doubt it.” Ray said with his arms folded.
Michael turned his back to Gavin to look at Ray. “Okay, but like, whatever you do, don’t fall in love with the image you’re creating in your head, because that’s probably not the real him, you know? Like, I’m hoping it will work out, and I’m not gonna stop it from happening if it ever happens, but I don’t want you to be crushed when it turns out he’s nothing like the letters.”
Ray’s smile dropped like a weight, “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I’ll try and be more level about this. I’m still going to want to squeal like an anime girl though whenever I get one.”
“That’s fine.” Michael said right before Gavin attempted to plow right into him at full speed. But even with all of his weight being through into the bigger lad, Michael barely lost balance and caught him by a dangling leg. Like the bug Gavin was, he climbed around and eventually sat on Michael’s shoulders.
“I’m thinking a game of chicken.” Gavin said, nodding his head proudly.
“With whom?” Ray asked, squinting quizzically at his friend. “I don’t exactly have my own tank to sit on. You gonna fight the wall or something?”
“Maybe!” Gavin huffed, wiggling on Michaels shoulders.
“Fucking Christ, Gavin, get down before a teacher yells at us.” Michael growled.
Ray was about to start laughing at the idiots who were yelling at each other. Michael threatened to drop him, and Gavin squeezed his thighs around his head. They resembled one of those inflatable flailing arm men they have outside various car dealerships. Didn’t help that Gavin was a thin as one of them. As Gavin was arguing that he wanted to play chicken, something caught his eye. Ray followed his line of sight and landed on a casually strolling Joel Heyman.
“Joel!” Gavin called out, waving sporadically at him. “Got a sec?”
Joel walked over and stopped right in front of them. He raised his eyebrows, “Depends. What’s going on?”
Gavin looked at Ray mischievously and it clicked in Ray’s head. “No.” Ray said, eyes widening and backing into the wall. “Absolutely not.”
Gavin pointed right at Ray, “Pick him up. We’re gonna play chicken.”
“No!” Ray repeated, scooting away.
Joel’s eyes locked right on him. Surely someone like Joel wouldn’t have time to play dumb games. Surely he was more ‘sophisticated’ than that and wouldn’t participate in such a thing. There’s no way that he was going to grin as evilly as Gavin and start advancing toward Ray. He totally didn’t figure out this weird way to use Ray pinned against the wall as leverage to lift him up in the air.
No. Not at all.
“Holy shit, this is happening.” Ray exclaimed as he was hoisted high. At first he had no idea where to put his hands, not really wanting to be too handsy with someone he didn’t know. But his lack of balance won, and he ended up putting one hand in Joel’s hair. For its spiky appearance, it was surprisingly soft. Ray wouldn’t mind running his hands through it if he were given the chance some other time.
Joel adjusted Ray a bit, and kept his hands locked above Ray’s knees. “You doing alright up there?” He asked.
“Uh.” Ray floundered, “I may have come down with a case of acrophobia right this second, but I’m good.”
Ray felt Joel huff in silent laughter, “Oh push through it, you’ve got a stick to shove over.”
Michael made a noise like a bull snorting and kicked at the floor while Gavin pretended to crack his neck like he was going to fight. With a called “Chaaarrge!” from Michael, they charged at each other. Gavin and Ray linked fingers and began trying to shove the other off while keeping their balance.
“Your skull is going to splatter on the floor, you realize!” Ray cried out, realizing how much of a mistake this was as he was pushing with all his might.
“Nah, it’s going to be yours!” Gavin threatened, trying to move their arms in a flailing manner. It was actually throwing Ray off, especially since Gavin’s reach was farther than Ray’s.
“I’m not kidding! This is a really bad idea!” Ray tried again. It occurred to him that he could just fake giving up, but the gamer in him wouldn’t let him lose without a fight.
Luckily neither of them had to lose as a distant “HEY! NOCK IT OFF!” from a teacher that had finally spotted them made the stop instantly. Gavin slid down Michael’s body with practiced ease, while Ray and Joel had a more complicated descent. Joel had crouched low to the ground to make sure Ray’s legs could reach. Ray ended up not getting his leg from round Joel’s shoulder and he slipped off, landing on his ass.
“That was graceful.” Ray muttered, rubbing his ass as Joel offered a hand and lifted him off the ground.
“Indeed it was.” Joel winked, letting his hand linger a millisecond too long.
Ray opened his mouth to say more, but the teacher had finally reached them and began loudly scolding them for their childish behavior. They all put on pouts and puppy eyes, bowed their heads, and apologized, swearing to never do it again. When the teacher huffed and walked away, all four of them burst into laughter. When they finally calmed down, Joel took his leave.
“Man. I didn’t realize how cool Joel could be.” Michael said after he was out of sight.
“Yeah.” Gavin agreed, “I didn’t expect him to pick you up, Ray.”
Ray sighed heavily, “Neither did I. Maybe he’s actually a loser like us?”
“Or maybe he can act like a loser.” Michael suggested.
“Trust me when I say that he’s a complete loser.” Gavin affirmed.
--
Dear person of interest,
I’m starting this off with a very sincere compliment. Your laughter is better than a basket full of kittens, and trust me, I love kittens more than the average human, so you should pat yourself on the back for this one. Hearing your genuine laughter made my stomach flip and tie it itself in knots even the best boy scout couldn’t replicate.
I would say that I was so happy I could puke, but not only is that disgusting, it carries a sarcastic tone that I don’t mean at all. I’ve done that before though, gotten so excited I puked. I’ve also puked before because of nerves. Also, you’d think that after you do something enough, that maybe you wouldn’t be so nervous anymore, but it turns out that the rules change just a teeny bit every time, and it makes it a whole new ballgame. I’m not exactly talking about these note letter things but they do make me a little nervous every time I write them. Even as I’m basically writing whatever comes to mind, I’m also thinking ‘oh man, what if you fuck up? What if you reveal too much about yourself? Are you gonna put this in the right locker this time?’ You know. Typical stuff.
You’ve probably felt that way at some point in your life, right?
I hope we can share stories sometime. Maybe when the thrill of this wears off, I’ll finally pull off the mask and let you know who I am.
Maybe. Might be earlier. Who knows.
--A person that is interested
Whoever this guy was, he actually seemed pretty damn fascinating. Even though he said he was nervous, Ray could feel that with every curve of the writing in the paper, that the guy was thrilled to bits to be writing to him. The smile was evident in the ink itself. These notes made this guy happy, and they made Ray happy too. But even with the happiness that bled off the page, Michael’s words rang through his head. He had to remind himself that these notes were barely any different from someone on the internet trying to woo him. This persona that he was presenting could be completely fake and Ray wouldn’t know until it was too late.
That thought made Ray pretty sad.
So sad that he became pretty sluggish. He didn’t know when he’d grown so attached to these notes, he didn’t know when he’d become attached to the person behind them. There’d only been three notes, technically four if you counted the one Gavin received, but they’d become something meaningful to him.
The idea that this person could have ulterior motives was something he didn’t want to believe.
“Hey, Michael…” Ray said at the lunch table, bringing himself out of deep thought. “Do… you honestly believe this guy has other plans or something? Like he’s toying with me?”
Michael nearly spit out his milk, “Yo, buddy, where’d you get that idea? That’s not what I said. I said to think that maybe he’s not all he’s making himself out to be. I didn’t say that the guy was toying with you.”
Gavin chipped in, “Yeah! What’re you thinking? He honestly likes you, and if he hadn’t fucked up with the first one, he would have confessed to you in person already!”
Ray whined, pushing his tray out of the way and resting his chin on the table’s surface. “I suppose you’re right, but still. I can’t shake that feeling now that it’s there.” It felt like he had snakes in his stomach, coiled tight around the darkness growing inside him. He should call animal control.
He jerked up when he felt a poke in his rib, and would have screamed if his neck hadn’t been on the edge of the table.
“You dead or something?” Joel asked, appearing out of nowhere.
“Nearly. You scared the shit out of me! What would you have done if I had a heart attack?” Ray hollered at the other who was starting to giggle uncontrollably. Man, he had a cute breathless laugh that made Ray wonder if his lungs functioned properly. The fucker looked damn near perfect on the outside so maybe there was wrong with the insides.
Joel reached over and popped a few of Ray’s French fries in his mouth, “Probably would have just eaten your food. Just like I’m doing right now.”
Ray didn’t stop him. He didn’t exactly feel like eating anyway, but he was able to muster some of his snark, “Glad to know that ‘In case of death, eat food’ is the new rule.” Joel’s smile grew wider, as he popped a few more in his mouth.
“Blah blah blah, survival of the fittest so eating your food would give me a leg up somehow somewhere.” Joel rambled, choosing to leave a few left for Ray to eat. “Well, I gotta go. Other friends and such.” He waved politely and started to wander to the other side of the Commons.
Ray called after him, “And your own food, too!”
“Anyone else notice how there’s a significant amount of Joel in our lives that wasn’t there before?” Gavin asked while reaching over and taking the rest of Ray’s fries that Joel hadn’t eaten.
“Yeah.” Michael agreed while slapping at Gavin’s hands when he reached for his fries, “What’s up with that? It’s kinda weird. Like we blipped on his radar or something.”
“Maybe he feels bad for us.” Ray mumbled, his face pressing into the table, “Because we are kinda the biggest losers in this school. If I were Joel, I’d feel bad for us too.”
“Nah.” Gavin said simply.
“No. Like, maybe it’s a social pressure thing?” Michael began to explain with his hands gesturing around, “You know like how in those shitty movies, the popular one finds solace in the other shittier groups because they don’t have to hold themselves up to some pedestal anymore? Maybe he’s like, ‘cool, I can be myself around these dorks!’ and that’s why he plays chicken with us and eats Ray’s food like it’s no big deal.”
--
The next note Ray received made his jaw drop. The letter itself was about three pages in length. And reading it made Ray nearly want to cry. It was so full of honest feelings that there was absolutely no hiding. The person on the paper wasn’t putting up any masks, they weren’t trying to make themselves sound better than they were. They had put their soul on the paper, and Ray could feel it in his fingers. Ray could feel it in his stomach as he read it over and over again.
Unfortunately, this also means that he read it in classes.
Breaking the tradition of waiting until lunch to show off the notes, he had slipped it over to Michael in his Dramatic Literature class. It was funny watching Michael’s face fill with wonder as he read through the messy script. Michael could feel the emotions pouring from the page too.
He slipped back the folded notes and whispered, “Wow. I just—wow.”
“Jones! Narvaez!” The teacher Ms. Gale snapped, making them both jump to attention. “Are you seriously passing notes in my class? I mean, I’m rather shocked that kids your age still write notes on paper and not only texting, but note passing isn’t allowed, you should know that.” The other students in the classroom turned to stare at the pair with looks of ‘you done fucked up now.’ Other students were stifling laughter, while at least two were pretty pissed that class was getting interrupted.
She walked up to the shared table and snatched the paper from Ray’s hands. “Well, since note passing is a tradition, why don’t we go with another tradition of reading it out loud, shall we?”
“Ms. Gale! Please don’t!” Ray pleaded, and he could see the fiendish smile scrawled across her face. That was when he knew that begging wouldn’t change anything. “Fine! Just know that I was having Michael read it, okay? He didn’t write it to me, and I didn’t write it to him.”
“Sure you didn’t.” Ms. Gale giggled and quickly skimmed the note before taking a deep breath and beginning.
“To the person I’m interested in,
What’s up buttercup? I noticed that you seemed several shades of blue yesterday. So many shades you’d give a paint shop a run for their money. I don’t think I quite like seeing you sad. And that’s made me realize something.
The small interactions I’ve had with you recently have made you so much more meaningful to me than I thought. Before I just had this idea of who you were, you know? Like, I was charmed by the thought of the adorable shy-yet-cocky gamer nerd wallflower being paired up with someone, well, like me. Two people that couldn’t be more different yet fit together perfectly. That’s the thought of you I had in middleschool, that’s the thought of you I carried with me until recently. You were an image, a picture, one that caught my attention. A panting on the wall I didn’t understand, but wanted to know for years. It’s the same as trying to write essays about a piece of art when you have no understanding of what it consists off.
You became real, and not a dream I liked to entertain to keep me going.
You had smiles directed at me, words that were carved by your throat just for me. Just like I had acknowledged your existence, you acknowledged mine, and while it hasn’t changed much, it still changed the rules. I’m more nervous than ever writing this note, because I have so many more real feelings pouring into it, little nuances that have been picked up and placed into the puzzle that has been my crush on you for all these years.
I’m glad I messed up that first note. I’m glad I didn’t confess to you that first time. I’m sure now that you probably would have laughed in my face and asked if I was playing a cruel joke on you. You wouldn’t have been swept off your feet by the concept of someone noticing you, it would have made an impact, but you wouldn’t have said yes right off the bat.
God, I could keep writing this note forever, about all the things I’ve thought over the years, the silly stupid ideas I’ve had concerning you. Really, as I write this, I realize that I kind of sound like some weird shallow skeezeball, and maybe I actually am. I don’t entirely understand the person I thought you were before, and why I was into that person, but I’m glad that I’ve been given the chance to peek into the real person that is you.
I am praying that you forgive me for all these feelings I have that are probably confusing the fuck out of you right now. I ramble way too much. If given the chance, I’ll try and explain in person someday.
--A person that is interested in the real you”
When Ms. Gale had started reading the note, she had every intention on embarrassing Ray, but as she read, she found herself caught by the words. She read not through hate, but because she couldn’t stop. Even she picked up on the honesty of the words, and they had carried her away. At points, he voice began to quiver, like she was going to cry, and by the end of it, she had to wipe away a stray tear.
The rest of the class was dead silent, blown away.
She folded up the note between her fingers and walked it back to him, “I—I’m sorry for sharing that with the entire class, Mr. Narvaez. I know the handwriting of the person that wrote this, and I have to say that you are a very, very lucky man to have someone care this much about you at such a young age.”
“Yeah.” Ray nodded, not looking at her, “I think I know that now.”
--
“You’re serious!? In front of the entire class? How did you not die from embarrassment?” Gavin nearly shouted at the lunch table, completely flabbergasted upon hearing that the English teacher had read the note to the class.
“I—I don’t know. I really don’t know.” Ray said, fiddling with the letter, “I thought I was going to, but hearing her actually say the words made it somehow… different. By the end of it, she wasn’t trying to hurt me anymore. She was caught in a spell or something.”
“This isn’t Harry Potter.” Michael commented, chowing down on his food.
“I know.” Ray said before a moment of silence fell between them.
They were all thinking about the note in their own ways. All this time, Michael and Gavin had been treating it like a fun-hearted experience. Two dorks getting excited over each other. It was cute, and the anonymous part of it, at least on Ray’s behalf, made it even more fun. They wouldn’t have called it a game, but they were playing parts.
“I’m going to catch him.” Ray suddenly stated.
Michael looked up from his food, “What?”
“I’m going to catch him!” Ray repeated proudly.
Michael scowled, looking Ray dead in the eye, “You are gonna have to walk your ass to school. I get the feeling this guy is a 6:30am kind of guy and he’d have that note in the locker by 6:15 if he could. I’m not taking you that fucking early.”
Gavin snickered as he watched the hope wash out from Ray’s face. “Hey, c’mon man! I need you for this! I thought we were friends!”
The two bickered back and forth while Gavin sat back and watched. At one point, both men were standing, yelling at each other, forehead to forehead. Threats were pulled from the deepest corners of their friendship, blackmail at the ready. Favor cards were dealt, and they screamed at who owed the other more.
“What’s all the screaming about?” A voice suddenly said. Both Michael and Ray wrenched their heads to look at the source. There was a worried-looking Joel standing there with a tray in his hands. “Well?” He tried again.
Ray huffed and slammed his rear back on the bench of the table, “Michael is being dumb.”
Michael rolled his eyes, “Ray is being unreasonable.”
“Sounds good.” Joel said, sitting in the open spot next to Ray. All three of them gave him a funny look.
“You lost or something Joel?” Ray asked jokingly, “Pretty sure this isn’t your usual spot.”
Joel shrugged, taking a spoonful of his cheesy broccoli soup. “My usual drama friends are being… well, dramatic right now, and I don’t want to deal with that. At least your squabbling sounds like two chipmunks and that’s worth listening to.”
While Ray did find it strange that Joel was sitting with them, he surprisingly fit in with their little group. He was as quirky in his own way and had his own passions that were relatable. He wasn’t the celebrity the school had built him up to be, he happened to have a specific skill set that made him seem special. Joel was cool.
“Alright.” He said, standing up with his tray. “I got to get going, the choir room calls.”
“You should come sit with us again.” Michael suggested.
Joel nodded, “I’ll think about it.” He left right after that.
“Okay. Ray.” Michael snapped getting the other boy’s attention, “I’m gonna drive you, just make sure you’re ready at 6am.”
Ray blinked a few times, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. “I—What? Why the change?”
“Don’t question me.”
Ray barked a laugh, “Alright. Fine. Thanks.”
--
There was a part in Gavin that was jealous over the budding relationship between Ray and Joel. When he had started working with Joel, he figured that he’d be fine. But man, seeing how much Joel has come to care about Ray made his own heart ache. Joel wasn’t playing pretend, he wasn’t wanting to go out with Ray just because of looks or something shallow like that.
And while he was absolutely happy for Ray, happy that something good might happen for him, Gavin whished that something would work out for him. He wished that he were the lucky one that had someone care about him, not only the image, but deeper.
Later in study hall, Michael noticed that Gavin was lost in thought. “You alright, buddy?”
Gavin waved him off, “Yeah. Just thinking.”
“Got it.” Michael nodded, “So, you gonna warn Joel?”
Gavin’s face scrunched up, “Naah. He needs to get caught.”
“Hah. You’re right about that.” Michael mused before going back to his homework.
--
Ray was too tired to play the role of a ninja at 6 in the morning. He wasn’t going to dress in black, he wasn’t going to pretend he was sneaking around, he was going to pour all his energy into staying the hell awake. And from the looks of it, when Michael picked him up in the truck, he was in no better shape.
“You owe me at least seven coffees.” He grumbled.
Ray barely muttered an okay when Michael drove down the road. Ten minutes later they were pulling into the school. The damn thing looked haunted without the other cars populating the lot out front.
“So… we’re gonna park ourselves around the corner near our lockers?” Ray said as he wandered inside with Michael at his side.
“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” Michael said while rubbing at his burning eyes.
They tried to tiptoe through the ghostly halls of the school. Their footsteps echoed off the walls louder than they would have thought.
“God, this is so weird.” Ray remarked.
Their lockers were on the second floor, and they managed to park themselves around a corner without a teacher being too curious about what they were up to. Michael slid down the wall until his butt plopped against the ground. Ray repeated the same action.
“I hope we don’t fall asleep.” Michael groaned rubbing at his face again.
Ray made a noise and nudged him, “Shut up Michael. He might hear us.”
“You shut up.”
“Michael I swear to go—“
Michael clamped a hand over Ray’s mouth to silence him. He put a finger to his own mouth to let him know to be quiet. Ray focused on listening to whatever had tipped Michael off. Sure enough, Ray picked up on the sound of faint footsteps. They grew louder until they stopped, and Ray assumed that it meant he had found Ray’s locker. Nodding to Michael, he leaned over the corner.
His mouth dropped. He couldn’t believe it.
Joel was standing in front of Ray’s locker with the white piece of paper in his hand. He chewed nervously on his hand, as if contemplating on putting the note through the vent.
Ray was going to stand up and confront him, but as soon as he moved, Michael had clamped down on his shoulders, preventing him from moving. Ray swung back, trying to get Michael to let go, but he wouldn’t budge.
He watched as Joel slipped the note through the vent and walked away.
As soon as he was out of sight, Michel let go. Ray tore his way to his locker and nearly ripped his locker door of its hinges trying to get to the note.
To Ray,
First things first, I heard about Ms. Gale reading the note in the class. Turns out we broke two couples up. The girls were screaming about stuff like “how come you never do anything like that for meeee?” You know, that kind of thing.
I think it’s absolutely hilarious. All I do is like emotionally vomit on a piece of paper. There I go talking about puke again. I might have a fixation.
Gross.
Anyway, I think you should know that I think I’m ready to finally ‘confess’ to you. And by that, more like show my face. I don’t want to hide from you anymore! I want to tell you just how much I like you with my own voice, and hopefully, hear that that you won’t reject me.
Sincerely,
-That person that’s still interested in you.
Ray swallowed after finishing the note. He knew what he had to do.
He bolted down the hallway, hoping that he’d catch up to Joel. He didn’t have the time to sit and wonder why it was Joel of all people. His heart was fluttering, and his feet were flying.
He reached the top of the staircase in no time at all. At the bottom he could see Joel’s black hair about to turn the corner.
“Joel!” He shouted as he began to dart down the stairs.
Ray saw as Joel stopped and took a step back to look back at the person that called his name. He froze like a deer in headlights with Ray barreling down at him. Eyes wide, he was struck with a minor fear. It was clear he spotted the paper flopping in Ray’s hand when his jaw dropped.
“Joel! Joel! I--!” Ray was cut himself off as he felt his foot miss a step.
All his weight fell forward as gravity pushed him down the stairs. Everything moved in slow-motion as Ray saw the fear in Joel’s eyes change from being caught to one of “oh god Ray’s going to die.” Ray could feel the blood pounding in his ears as the floor came into his vision. He clamped his eyes shut and braced for impact.
The ground is surprisingly soft. And warm.
Ray opened his eyes, and found himself in Joel’s arms.
“Yeah, I’m going to need someone to explain to me how I caught you, because I don’t know how that happened.” Joel said, putting him back on the ground.
“I had my eyes closed, I have no idea.” Ray laughed, his hands lingering on Joel’s shoulders.
“Seems like I’m always picking you up, hunh?” Joel joked, flashing off a stupid grin.
Ray rolled his eyes. “Yeah, in more ways than one, it seems.” He flashed the noted in Joel’s face and instantly the scared puppy look came back.
“I—“ Joel failed to speak, instead he chose to take a step back and clearing his throat. “Yeah. It’s been me. I’ve liked you for a long time, and I finally want to do something about it. So here I am, and I’m going to tell you this right now.” He adjusted his stance and looked Ray in the eye.
“I. Like. You. Ray.” Joel punctuated every word, “And if you’d be willing to maybe go on a date or two with me, I would be over the moon.”
Laid out in front of Ray was something he didn’t realize he had wanted so bad until this whole thing started. It was attention from someone that meant more than friendship. It was someone that saw him, and wanted to learn even more about him. Not to mention, Joel was easy on the eyes, so that was a plus.
Ray nodded but tried to hide the creeping blush that was showing up on his face. “You know what? That doesn’t sound half bad at all. Just don’t sing a musical number for me or something weird like that.”
Joel lit up like the sun. For a moment, Ray was sure he was floating off the ground with sheer joy. He swung his arms around Ray and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. Oh my god. Thank you.”
Ray returned the hug the best he could with Joel trying to crush his ribcage, “Yeah yeah, you big puppy. But I do have questions that you WILL answer eventually.”
Joel pulled away, still beaming a smile, “Gotcha, but then you can’t yell at Gavin and Michael for hiding who I was. Believe it or not, those two are incredible actors, nearly as good as me, and they deserve applause for their performance.”
Ray rolled his yes. “Fine.”
“Good.” Joel pulled him into another quick hug, “And I hate to confess and run, but I do have to get back to the choir room. Songs don’t sing themselves.”
“Oh man, that’s gonna be a problem. Don’t know if I can handle the constant abandonment.”
“Shut up. You can handle it. I know you can.” Joel said as he took a few steps back and headed down the choir room hallway.
--
Dear Ray,
Thank you.
--Joel.