Work Text:
The shrill ring of the phone made Jira sit straight up in bed. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and the dim light starting to peak through the curtains told her it wasn’t as late-early as she initially thought it was. It still was quite some time before her alarm was supposed to go off, though, and early enough to not be anything good.
She reached out for the cell phone and picked it up off her bedside table. Liam’s number on the phone’s screen just reinforced her sense of foreboding. She took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly before answering just before the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Jira.” It wasn’t a question. In fact, the one word said all it needed to.
Jira sighed, pushing the sheets off herself and climbing out of bed. Beside her, Jason snuffled and turned to face her, finally pulled out of sleep.
“What is it?”
“It’s OK,” Jira said, patting his leg as she left the room.
Once she made it into the hall, she focused on the phone again. “When?”
“Sometime last night.”
“Did you call an ambulance?”
“No point.” After a pause, Liam spoke again, his voice breaking. “He’s gone.”
Jira closed her eyes, nodding. “I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
**
Liam reached out to grab the phone before it rang a second time and woke Daniel up. It took him more than a half hour to talk him down from a freak-out, and then that long again to tire him out enough to get him to fall asleep. Liam really didn’t want to go through all that again (well…some of it he’d have no problem with, but the point still stood).
So, he answered quickly, not bothering to look at the caller ID on the screen. “Hello,” he murmured.
“It’s me. Can you talk?”
“Your dad’s asleep.”
“No, I mean…you.”
“Oh.” Liam blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I’ll be right over.”
And he meant that pretty literally, considering her hotel room was right next door. She’d be moving to the honeymoon suite the next night (thank God, because he didn’t really think they’d want to share a wall with her and Jason). Liam pulled on a sweater and switched his sweatpants for jeans, then stepped into his shoes. He snuck out of the room, sparing one glance to make sure Daniel was still out. Moments later, he knocked on her door.
She opened her door immediately, and Liam fought a fond smile at the expression of apprehension on her face. Like father, like daughter. She stepped aside to let him in, and Liam walked over to take the chair in the corner.
“You should be getting some sleep,” he reminded her. “Long day tomorrow.”
“I’m just…” She trailed off, walking to sit on the foot of the bed. “Nervous.”
“About the wedding night?” he joked, hoping to lighten the tension. “Because I don’t think I can help you with that.”
“Gross, and no.”
Liam chuckled. “What then?”
“I don’t know.” Jira shrugged, taking a moment to think about it. “How do I know that…I’m doing the right thing?”
Liam thought over her question, wondering how best to answer. “No one can predict the future,” he finally reminded her. “But…I read somewhere once that people who have the most successful, longest relationships recognize that it’s about making the choice over and over again to be with the other person and putting in the work to make it last. You and Jason have been together for a while, and through a lot. I’ve seen you put in the work. Now you have to make the choice. Is this the next step? Are you ready for it? If the answers are yes, then it’s the right thing. If not, well, you call it off, and your Dad and I will help you take care of everything.”
Jira burst into laughter, reaching up to wipe at her eyes. “It’s not even Jason, really. It’s Jade. I’m not just becoming a wife tomorrow. I’m becoming a stepmom. That seems like an even bigger deal. When you…I mean, how did you…” She seemed at a loss, eventually shrugging in confusion.
“Ah,” Liam said, finally understanding why she asked for him specifically. “Well…”
To stall a bit, he stood and walked over to join her on the mattress. She reached out and took his hand, and he squeezed hers supportively. “It’s a bit different,” he pointed out unnecessarily. “You were a lot older, and Jade’s mom is still in the picture.”
Jira nodded.
“But yeah, it’s pretty terrifying. A big responsibility, but one that’s worth it.” He rocked towards her, bumping her with his shoulder, and she shot him a smile in response. He continued, “I think one similarity will be patience and flexibility. You’ll be responsible for more discipline and rearing than I was, so be sure to set boundaries and talk over your role with Jason and her mom, of course. But as much as you can, let Jade guide your interactions rather than trying to push for something she isn’t ready for. Your relationship will develop and change over time; there’s no need to rush it.”
Jira seemed lost in thought for a moment, and then she nodded. “Makes sense.”
“Feeling better?”
“Yeah,” she said, hesitant at first, before repeating the answer more confidently.
“OK. Go to bed. We have to be up early.”
He patted her knee and stood. She followed him to the hotel room door. He opened it, but before he walked out into the hall, he turned to give her a hug.
“Thanks, Daddy-o.”
“Ha!” Liam scoffed. “Keep that up and I’ll trip you while you’re walking down the aisle.”
Jira snickered in response, and he gave her head a quick peck, before leaving her on her own again. Daniel didn’t move when Liam came back into the room, but he did stir and turn towards Liam as he climbed into bed.
“Everything OK?” he mumbled.
Liam wrapped his arm around Daniel, sighing in contentment as they both got comfortable again. “Everything’s fine,” he confirmed, kissing the top of Daniel’s head much like he had done just moments ago to Jira.
The next day, neither Daniel nor Jira showed any sign of nerves. She was radiant and he was proud, if clearly a bit sentimental, as they walked down the aisle. Liam stood in the first pew, facing them as they made their way closer. He grinned broadly, recording their approach on his phone.
**
The funeral home had come and gone by the time she got to the house, and all she found (thankfully, to be honest) was Liam sitting on the couch. He was staring blindly ahead, still in his pajamas, and he seemed so very lost. Jira sat next to him and took his hand.
“Pops?” she asked softly, trying to break through his haze.
After a moment, he looked at her. He didn’t respond to the name, and she wondered if he even really had heard her or just finally realized she was next to him. Tears welled in his eyes and he swallowed roughly. Jira reached out, pulling him into a hug as they both broke down. They cried for quite some time, until all that was left was quiet and shaky breaths and the occasional sniffle. Jira pulled back, wiping at her eyes.
“I lost one suddenly and without warning. I lost the other after far too much suffering. Neither is easier.”
“No,” Liam agreed. He shook his head, exhaling sharply and briefly covering his mouth with his hand.
“Well…” Jira continued, offering him a wry smile. “This obviously means you and Tia can never die, because I cannot go through this again.”
“I’ll do my best,” Liam promised, giving her the tiniest of smirks. He faced forward again, stretching his arms out. He nodded decisively. “OK,” he said, standing. “I have to start making the phone calls.”
“Funeral arrangements?”
He waved dismissively, even as he started walking toward the dining room. Jira hurried to follow him. “That’s all done already. Maybe the one good thing about knowing it’s coming.”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Yep. He wants…wanted to be buried next to Harrison.”
Jira blinked, not really surprised but unexpectedly conflicted. “Oh.”
Her tone of voice must have been enough, because Liam glanced up at her even as he dialed his phone. He chuckled. “It’s OK,” he assured her. “And actually, I have a plot on the other side.”
“Oh. OK.” Jira was still feeling uncertain about the whole thing, so she went for the joke again. “But I don’t see why you do. Remember what we just talked about? No dying.”
Liam rolled his eyes before focusing on his conversation. “Ethan? It’s Liam.”
**
Liam shifted back and forth, trying to give some relief to his aching feet. He’d been standing for far too long already, and they were hardly into the Cs. He kind of hated Daniel for getting out of working the ceremony just because he was family of one of the grads. He took a moment to look out and find Daniel in the crowd again; it was easier this time, of course, because he’d already spotted them earlier. Daniel, Tia, Ethan and Benny were somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Sitting, the lucky bastards.
His attention was captured again by the principal calling off the next name – Jira Calder-Brennan. It might have been his imagination, but he was pretty sure he could hear Daniel and Tia cheering from all the way out in the audience. He had to stop himself from cheering as well. Didn’t want to play favorites. Or for that matter, let on about him and Daniel. Everyone knew by then, of course, but they were still kind of pretending that they didn’t know everyone knew. Or something.
But he was pretty sure there’d be no point in hiding it anymore. Because even though Jira had calmly and professionally shook hands with the principal, she threw her arms around Liam and pulled him into a celebratory hug. Liam couldn’t help but laugh and hug her back. Discretion was overrated.
**
Jason showed up a couple hours later, the kids in tow. He couldn’t stay long, of course, because the kids needed to get to school and he had to get to work. Jira had already called in, grateful that she had no surgeries scheduled that day and could easily reschedule or hand off the upcoming ones. When she had been dressing earlier, they debated whether Jason should take off too, but there was not much he could do that day. Later, when it was time for the funeral and, perhaps even worse, when it was time to figure out what to do with all of her dad’s stuff, then they’d need help.
Today, she and Liam just needed each other.
But hugs were still more than welcome. Jira smiled fondly as the kids, after only a moment of hesitant uncertainty, ran over to throw their arms around Liam. He nearly stumbled at the force, before dropping into his seat. They both climbed onto the couch as well, Brennan getting into his lap despite being a little too big for that these days, and leaned against him. The three of them talked quietly, only occasional words drifting across to Jira.
While they were still young, they were old enough to understand what was happening. Grandpa and Pop had explained it all, answering all their questions with calm and open reassurance, with refreshing honesty. It had helped, because now, although they were obviously grieving themselves, they were handling it all with a grace Jira wouldn’t have believed possible. She was pretty sure they were exactly what Liam needed.
But soon enough, they were gone, and it was just the two of them again. As he turned away from the door after seeing the others off, Liam finally noticed the suitcase that Jason had dropped off.
“What’s that?” he asked, although his tone suggested he knew what her answer would be.
Jira shrugged. “I’m going to stay here with you for a couple days. There’s…there’s a lot to do, even if the arrangements are already made.”
“I’m fine,” Liam said, stopping just shy of rolling his eyes at her. “You don’t need to – ”
“I know,” Jira cut him off. She walked over and stood next to him. Wrapping one arm around his shoulders, she leaned in until he hugged her back. “I’m going to stay here for a couple days,” she repeated softly.
He was silent for a moment, then nodded. His voice broke when he answered. “OK. Thanks.”
“No problem, Pop.”
He snorted, lifting one hand to scrub at his mouth. “They can call me that,” he reminded her. “Not you.”
“Whatever.”
**
The baby was perfect. Perfect. Her little mouth pursed as she grumbled in her sleep, but she didn’t wake or cry. One hand had broken free of the blanket, and Liam held onto it. The little palm curled against his finger. He had been staring at the teeny-tiny fingernails for about a minute, wondering how they could be so small. There was some wispy hair on the top of her head, but both Jira and Daniel told him that would fall out soon. He hoped not, because it was possibly his favorite thing. Well, that and everything else about her.
“Where is everyone?”
Jira’s croaky voice distracted Liam from his adoration. He looked across the darkened room and saw her trying to sit up.
“Just relax,” he scolded half-heartedly, already anticipating her scoff and dismissive wave in response. She didn’t disappoint.
“I’m fine. What time is it?”
“About 8. And to answer your other question, Jason went to pick up Jade so she can meet her little sister, and Daniel went to call Tia.”
“Tia’s never going to forgive me for going into labor while they were on vacation.”
Liam snorted in agreement. But his attention was captured by the baby again, who began to fuss. He rocked her and made a soft hushing sound.
“Want me to take her?”
“No,” he replied. “You’ll get to hold her all the time. It’s my turn now.”
Jira laughed. “OK.”
They were silent for a while, and Liam half-wondered if Jira had fallen back asleep. He didn’t bother looking, because clearly he had someone more important to watch. So, Jira’s next question took him by surprise in more ways than one, even though her tone was so hesitant and quiet, he also was surprised he even heard her.
“Did you ever want kids?”
“I have one,” he responded, somewhat flippantly perhaps as some sort of defense or deflection. He glanced up and winked at her.
Jira rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Liam didn’t speak for a moment, giving her question the consideration it deserved. He couldn’t deny that he had stored away a few what-ifs and what-might-have-beens in a corner of his brain and his heart. There were times he had even thought about testing the waters to see how Daniel felt about going through it all again. But he suspected the answer, and it was something he never felt strongly enough about to risk the strain or even resentment that could have resulted if he had actually asked. Finally, he shook his head and simultaneously shrugged.
“I wanted you two more than any hypotheticals.”
When Jira didn’t respond, Liam looked at her again. She gave him a solemn smile.
“Well,” she eventually said, “now you get to be Gramps.”
Liam shuddered with exaggerated objection. “We’ll have to come up with something else for her to call me, because it’s not going to be that.”
**
The eulogy was beautifully written and eloquently delivered. Of course it was, because it was Liam. Jira cried, of course, but she also laughed, as Liam shared memories of his 25-plus years with her dad, of their years as a family. It hadn’t even really occurred to her, until that day, that her dad had more time with Liam than he had with Harrison. She herself had lived longer without him than she had with him.
That thought made her cry even harder. Now, she’d have to live without both of them.
Liam chose wisely, ending on another humorous anecdote rather than some declaration of love or loss. The service was able to end with everyone laughing, wiping tears from their eyes even as they smiled. Liam stayed up on the dais, and was soon joined by Jason, Benny, Matthew, Ethan, and Miles. They took their places and lifted the casket. Jira stood, taking a deep breath and turning to follow them out.
**
Liam took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Somehow, this – putting the ring on Daniel’s finger – seemed more important than any other part of the ceremony, including the vows he had just said. It made sense, though, because which rings Daniel wore when held significance throughout their relationship. There was the time, something like seven years ago now, that Daniel had taken off Harrison’s ring and the subsequent events had nearly ruined Liam and Daniel before they even got started. And then, shortly after they did get started, Daniel had taken Harrison’s ring off for good and moved his own to the other hand. And then, most recently, Liam hadn’t even noticed when he stopped wearing a ring at all until Daniel proposed, rather unexpectedly one random, lazy afternoon. The memory of picking out their own rings was still vivid.
Next, it was Daniel’s turn to return the gesture. Liam looked up as the ring slid over his knuckle. He blinked quickly, smiling as Daniel glanced up to meet his gaze. And soon after, it was over, and they were married, and Daniel was tilting him back ever so slightly as he kissed him.
Liam couldn’t help but press his thumb to his ring throughout the rest of the day. Honestly, he kind of felt like he was confirming it was still there, that this was all real. The proof was there on his left hand, certainly, but perhaps it was even more so with his right hand, which Daniel held as Liam leaned back against him. They were both listening to Jira, who was amusing the audience with stories that were just shy of embarrassing, and Riley, who was shouting out additional details to urge her on.
As Jira wrapped up and held her champagne glass in the air, Liam untangled his fingers from Daniel's, sat up and grabbed his glass. She turned to face them, smiling broadly.
“To my dad and my new daddy.”
The crowd laughed again, and Liam could hear Daniel chuckling beside him. Liam just shook his head.
“Stop it,” he mouthed at Jira before taking a sip.
**
Two weeks later, everything was done. The paperwork was all submitted and being processed. The clothes were sorted for donation and trashing. The remaining meds were wasted properly. The photos and mementos were combed through and divided out between Liam and Jira.
Now, she stood alone in the room she had grown up in. It had stayed hers throughout college and med school, even when she was no longer living there. Eventually, she convinced them it was OK to redecorate. But in her mind’s eye, she could still see it all – the skeleton, the lights, the pictures on her door. She could remember her dad tucking her in at night and yelling at her to get up in the morning. She could remember pretending to be asleep when her other dad would peek in on her when he got home after late shifts. She could remember Benny, when he was still little, sitting at her desk and playing computer games while she baby-sat. She could remember Liam popping his head in to say hi and drop off books for her to read in his never-ending quest to get her to enjoy fiction. She could remember Matthew and Riley flopped over various furniture or on the floor as they hung out. She could remember sneaking her first boyfriend in there for make-out sessions that her dad pretended he didn’t know about because sex positivity was all well and good until he had to accept that she might actually want to have sex one day.
It was all so vivid. Even now, when she was a doctor and a surgeon, a wife and a mother, in her mind and her heart, she still felt like a teenager. She grew up faster than anyone should ever have to, and yet, she wondered if she’d ever feel like an adult.
Or maybe she was just feeling that way now, because of how much she wished she had her dad to hug her.
Do you know where you slept when we first brought you home?
She could hear him saying it even now. Jira laughed, wiped the tears from her eyes, then bent over to pick up her suitcase. She walked downstairs, following the sounds of Liam, Jason and the kids. They were standing near the front door, and all turned to face her as she approached. Jason reached out and took the suitcase, then told the kids to hug Liam. As soon as they did, he hustled them out the door, knowing to give them some privacy to say goodbye.
“I can…stay longer,” Jira offered. She really couldn’t; she needed to get home, back to a regular life. They both knew that and had already had this conversation. But she just needed to say it again, just in case.
Liam shook his head. “I’m going to be fine. I promise.”
She sighed, then reached out and pulled him into a hug. It wasn’t quite the same as a hug from her dad, but it was close enough.
**
“Take this.”
“What is it?”
“Aspirin! Chew it.”
“Does that really help?” Liam asked breathlessly, even as he grimaced with the pain.
“Oh my God, just take it.”
Liam took the pills from her, popping them in his mouth, and took the glass of water she offered him next. Once that was done, he rubbed at his shoulder again. It seemed like a cliché, really.
He was about to speak again, to tell Jira to stop fussing, when Daniel walked back into the room as he announced the ambulance was on the way. Liam braced himself, doubling his efforts to look healthy and like he wasn’t about to die. It didn’t seem to help, because Daniel’s face was an open book that Liam could read easier than all the ones he taught about. The dominant expression, of course, was sheer terror, and it wasn’t lost on Liam that by some sick coincidence, this was happening on the anniversary of the day that Harrison had been killed what felt like a lifetime ago. Honestly, he was kind of impressed that Daniel was able to even function at the moment.
Daniel crouched in front of him, grabbing onto Liam’s hand and squeezing it. He looked up at him rather imploringly, and Liam hoped his smile in response was convincingly comforting. He reached his free hand out and cupped it to Daniel’s cheek.
“I’m fine,” he said. “I’m going to be fine.”
“Of course, you are,” Jira concurred. At the sound of a distant siren getting closer, they all glanced toward the window. But then, Jira focused on him again, forcing an encouraging smile. “You’re going to be just fine, Papa.”
“Oh God,” Liam groaned, half in jest and half because of the painful pressure that seemed to squeeze his chest. “Don’t call me that, or you’ll make think I really am dying.”
**
“I should have brought some gloves,” Jira mused as they walked up to the stones.
Both of the markers were surrounded by mucky leaves, broken branches, and all sorts of debris. Their plan to do some spring cleaning had moved up after the recent storm and they were right to think they would have their work cut out for them.
Liam didn’t reply. Instead he switched the garbage bag to his other hand and reached into his pocket with his now-free hand. He pulled out an extra pair of work gloves and held them out to her. She looked at him, surprised yet strangely annoyed when he smirked at her.
“How did you know?”
“Because you are your father’s daughter.”
“Ha ha.”
Liam chuckled, even as he stepped closer to the grave sites. “God, where do we even start?” he asked, looking over the mess.
“Big pieces, I guess,” Jira suggested, shrugging.
He nodded, and they got to work. Time passed in companionable silence, reminding Jira of so many times before, when she and Liam just got each other and didn’t have to speak. That very first time, leaning against the school hallway for a few minutes before heading back into class. After her first boyfriend dumped her. The night before she left for college while her dad was hiding in the office so they all could pretend he wasn’t crying. The minutes before he went to take his seat the day she got married. Hour 17 of labor with Brennan, when she was too exhausted to speak anyway. The night her dad told her about the cancer.
There was something so beautiful about the relief that came with knowing you didn’t have to say anything.
But eventually, they finished. Fresh flowers took the place where the storm debris had been. Jira was taking care of the last bit, rubbing a towel over the stones to clear away as much grime as she could. Daniel’s stone was still smooth, almost shiny. The sharp etching of the name, dates and epitaph was heartbreaking in terms of how fresh it seemed. Harrison’s was older and weather-worn, faded and discolored, and heartbreaking for completely opposite reasons.
Jira sighed, then kissed the tips of her fingers and touched them to both stones. Liam repeated the gesture with her dad’s stone, letting his hand linger a moment. As he stepped off to the side, he laughed unexpectedly.
“What?”
“Just…I probably should be weirded out by standing here.”
It took a moment for Jira to get it, but then she breathed out a laugh as well. “Why?” she asked, managing to maintain a confused tone. “You’re never going to need it, remember?”
“Oh. Right. I forgot.”
They walked away then, heading back to the car. Jira moved closer to Liam, snaking her free arm around his waist. He put his arm over her shoulders, rubbing briskly before letting it settle with a comforting weight.
**
Liam had not read a page of the book sitting in his lap, but it at least gave him something to pretend to do. Really, he was just listening to Daniel breathe as he slept. It was a sound he was more than familiar with after sharing a bed for so long. It was a sound he was really going to miss, damn it. They had a doctor’s appointment that afternoon, and apparently, it could be any day now. She had made noises about admitting him, but of course they had declined as she expected. She gave them some good drugs to make it easier, and Daniel went home, where he had said all along he wanted to die.
“That book must not be very good.”
Liam smiled, closing the book and setting it aside as he scooted forward in his chair and leaned closer to Daniel.
“Do you need something?”
He shook his head weakly, then swallowed. “Just you.”
“Not going anywhere.”
They were silent for a moment then. Liam reached out and smoothed the thin hair off Daniel’s forehead. They had joked about whether it would grow back after he stopped the chemo, or if his hairline would finally give up the fight. The wisps vaguely reminded Liam of Maya when she was first born.
Just when he thought Daniel had fallen back asleep, he opened his eyes again and sought Liam’s out.
“Find someone else,” he said, rather unexpectedly. “You’re still young.”
Liam laughed, for multiple reasons. “You’re a liar or a flatterer, I’m not sure which,” he deflected.
Daniel winked at him. “Just trying to get in your pants.”
“Any time you want,” Liam replied softly, not quite able to sell the joke. He laughed again, trying not to sob. He struggled to control himself, but nearly lost it again when he continued, “Nah, you’re it for me. Always were.”
He made eye contact with Daniel again, and while Daniel’s eyes were a little glassy from emotion or pain or medication or all three, he could still see the love shining in them. Liam looked down, breathing out to center himself.
“I’ll tell you what, though,” he said, in a tone suggesting he was making a huge compromise. “I promise I’ll be happy again someday.”
Not perfectly happy, he added silently, and someday wouldn’t come all that soon. Daniel would know that, anyway, even if he didn’t say it aloud. Although maybe he wouldn’t fully understand, because Daniel had had Liam, when it happened to him, and Liam didn’t have someone like that and probably never would.
“I love you,” Daniel whispered, bringing Liam’s focus back to the conversation.
“I love you too.”
Daniel heaved a breath, clearly struggling. “I’m – this – ”
“I know.” Liam steeled himself, then told Daniel what he needed to hear before he could stop fighting so much. “It’s OK. It’s OK to let go. I’ll be fine. And I’ll look after Jira, don’t worry about her.”
Jira herself showed up a few hours later, and Liam left them alone once he accompanied her to the room they had set up after the stairs became too much for Daniel. He wandered the house for a while, recalling all sorts of random moments in the various rooms. It was different now from what it had been when he first saw it, different still from when he first moved in. Renovations, paint jobs, new pictures, new furniture. It was his home, as much as it had been Harrison’s and Jira’s, as much as it still was Daniel’s. He had thought about selling it, finding something smaller for just him when the time came. But he wasn’t ready to do that quite yet.
Sometime later, he stepped quietly to the door of the room again, listening carefully to see how things were going.
“Don’t worry about Liam,” Jira was saying. “I’ll look after him.”
He furrowed his brow quickly, then smiled. He leaned back against the wall to eavesdrop. Daniel must have said something in response, but it was too quiet for Liam to hear.
“Of course. He’s my dad,” Jira continued. Liam was thankful no one could see him as he quickly wiped the tears that had come to his eyes at that. “As much as you or Dad. Family’s a choice, remember?”
Daniel spoke again, ever so slightly louder this time, and Liam strained to hear. “And a gift.” After a long pause, he added, “I was so lucky to have my family. Harrison. Liam. Jason and the kids. Tia and her clan. But you? You were the best part of my life.”
Liam sniffed as quietly as possible, trying not to cry and reveal himself. He managed to get his emotions under control after a few seconds. He breathed slowly, hands in his pockets as he looked around the hall. There was nothing more from inside the room, though, and when they had been silent for a long time, he risked peeking around the corner of the door to see inside.
Jira was stretched out on the bed next to her father, her head on his chest raising slightly with each of his slow breaths.
Liam smiled sadly, then walked away to let them be alone again.