Chapter Text
Wooseok turned to his side as his phone alarmed for the third time that morning. He was reaching out for his phone when he accidentally hit Seungyoun's face.
"Ugh, turn off the alarm," Seungyoun mumbles and Wooseok hits his face again because what did it look like he was doing?
When he finally found his phone, Wooseok quickly snoozed his alarm again until he realised that it was already 7:19am, if they don't get up now and get the kids ready, they'll be late.
He shook Seungyoun's shoulder, saying rushingly, "Seungyoun-ah, wake up, it's 7:20am already, Seungyoun-ah!"
The older tried to ignore him, but grudgingly got up from the floor when he was pushed off the bed by the smaller male.
The house was like a jungle from then on, Seungyoun running around trying to pack the various fruits and snacks Wooseok was shouting over while he himself was trying to dress for work.
"Seokie, where's my dress shirt?"
"I don't know, try the wardrobe?"
"Not there,"
"Try the hanger outside,"
"Not there either,"
"I don't know Youn, where was the one you used yesterday?" Wooseok asked exasperatedly.
"You didn't wash any of my other ones?"
"Aish, did you think I had time last night to do any laundry?" Wooseok shouted back, already stressed from trying to get their two boys into their uniforms.
"Hyeongjun-ah, help Dohyon put on his shoes, eomma is just going to change as well, okay?" Wooseok asked the older of the two, hoping that they wouldn't trip on their shoelaces in their attempt.
Their mornings had always been like this for them, Wooseok wasn't sure why they could never be organised and wake up on time. Grabbing his own uniform from the chair, Wooseok quickly changed, frantically trying to put all his things in his bag as he hears Dohyon cry from the other room.
"Seungyoun! Dohyon's crying," Wooseok shouted.
"What?"
"Dohyon- crying- go help him," Wooseok said hoarsely, as he looked for their bus tickets.
Wooseok saw the older running past their room to their children, warmly asking them, "Aigoo~ aigoo, why is our Dohyon-ie crying? What? You can't find your favourite shoes? Let's go look fo…"
Wooseok couldn't hear the rest of their conversation, mind running, realizing that it was already the 21st and that he needs to stay behind for a general meeting at work today so he wouldn't be able to pick the kids up from school.
Grabbing Seungyoun's briefcase from the corner of their room, he rushed to the living room where their two children sat making funny faces with each other, the younger no longer crying. Wooseok urged the two boys to take their school bags when Seungyoun rushed past him, taking his briefcase from Wooseok's hand and giving the younger a brief peck on the lips.
"I've gotta go, I can't be late for the third time or else my manager's going to crack it," he quickly said, hopping as he put one of his shoes on.
"I can't pick the kids up today remember, can you pick them up?" Why is their bags so light? Wait, where is their lunch boxes?
"I don't know, I don't know when we'll finish," the other says, looking for his wallet.
"Text me, I need to tell their teacher's if no one can pick them up,"
"I can't hear you,"
"I said text me," Wooseok said, running to grab the two lunch boxes left at their kitchen bench.
"Yah, make sure you text me!" He shouts again as the other ran out of their apartment with a quick, "Yes, yes, bye bye, bye kids!"
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Wooseok managed to bring the kids to school on time, however he missed his bus to work so he had to run to try and make it. He was still ten minutes late though despite his efforts, hair a mess and uniform all scrunched up.
He managed to get off from another lecture by buttering his manager up with empty compliments and many apologies. Minhee, one of the few people in his workplace he considered as a friend, quickly motioned for him to follow as they all got ready for their work.
"Aigoo, you guys woke up late again. You're lucky she's in a good mood today," the younger muttered, as he placed their cleaning supplies onto each of their cleaning trolleys.
Wooseok sighed, it was only 8:45 in the morning and he was already exhausted. He wasn't sure how his life ended up this way. With him getting married at age 18, adopting two children four years after that because Seungyoun just wanted to have kids so much, even though they were already struggling to pay their rent. Him not being able to finish his final year for his uni course because it was just too hard, to now with him working as part of the cleaning service in a fancy hotel they could never afford to stay in even just for a night.
"Yah, are you wallowing in your own sadness again Wooseok-hyung? You're going to have wrinkles on that pretty face of yours permanently if you don't stop," Minhee babbled on, as he walk ahead of Wooseok to the first room he was scheduled to clean.
"Please, my clothes may be a mess but my face will always be perfect," Wooseok said, feigning the self righteousness he used to always have and making the younger giggle.
"Yes, yes, the fairest of them all, Princess Wooseok,"
The two laughed at how ridiculous they sounded. Though Wooseok knew that he was attractive, he no longer had the mentality of a pretty boy who got everything he wanted because of his visuals. Back then in college maybe, but now he has grown up so much, have experienced so much to be so naive.
__________________________________________________
Wooseok sat anxiously at the back of the room, feet tapping rapidly as he tries to look like he was paying attention to the speaker at the front and not at his phone which he had been checking every ten seconds. Wooseok recieved two scam messages about electricity offers, a missed call and a weird "how is he?" message from one of his best friends, which Wooseok thought was meant for someone else, and a random friend request from someone he doesn't know throughout that day. But not a single thing from Seungyoun.
To: Younie
Hey, just reminding you that you need to pick the kids up, okay?
Sent 2:20pm
Time passed and he could barely focus on the video being played on the big screen at the front.
To: Younie
You can pick them up, right?
Sent 2:34pm
To: Younie
Seungyoun, you need to let me know if you can't okay
Sent 2:37pm
To: Younie
Cho Seungyoun, at least reply with something, I need to let their teacher's know if they need to go to the after school daycare
Sent 2:48pm
It was ten minutes before school finishes and Seungyoun has not yet messaged him anything, so he hoped and prayed to the Buddha that it meant he was able to pick them up.
Half an hour into the presentation was when Wooseok's phone began vibrating. At first he tried to ignore it, but it vibrated again and so he forced himself to make an excuse to go out and pick up the call.
As he looked at the phone screen, Wooseok realised that it was from the school.
"Hello Mr Daehwi, I'm sorry I wasn't able to pick up your call before, I'm actually at a meeting right now…"
'Ah yes, sorry Mrs Cho, I got your message from before, and we've tried ringing Mr Cho regarding the kids, but he hasn't been picking up and our after school carer is actually sick today so the kids can't stay here right now," Hyeongjun's teacher, Mr Daehwi, said softly.
"Oh, I am so sorry, I'll try calling him as well, he might just be a bit late, I'm so sorry again,"
Wooseok ended the call, and took a deep breath before going to his call logs recent list. Wooseok tried massaging away the headache he was having as the phone call to Seungyoun rang.
Honestly. Seungyoun was a good man. He was a great father and Wooseok knew how much the other man loved their children. How he would sacrifice his own life for them. But it was times like this where Wooseok wondered whether he was raising the kids alone.
As the phone continued to ring, Wooseok's patience began to stretch. Really. Today. It was only one day, one day where couldn't pick the kids up. Seungyoun had never needed to pick them up from school because Wooseok knew that his work place was closer and so it would be easier if he were to be the one taking them home. But for this one day, why can he not do it instead.
As the call went to voice message, Wooseok recorded a chaste, "Seungyoun, pick up your phone," before hanging up.
Another message from the school notified Wooseok that all staff would be leaving in 20 minutes and that the children would be left unattended by then.
To: Younie
Seungyoun, are you on the way yet?
Sent 3:39pm
Wooseok tried calling the other again, hoping that this time he would pick up. No luck.
To: Younie
Seungyoun, the kids would be alone at school if you don't pick them up in 20 minutes
Sent 3:41pm
Another call. Wooseok didn't even know whether he was fidgeting because he was so angry, frustrated, stressed, worried, or maybe all. Another voicemail.
To: Younie
Cho Seungyoun, don't even think about coming home tonight
Sent 3:43pm
__________________________________________________
Wooseok was cutting some carrots when he accidentally cut himself with the knife. It wasn't a big cut, but he couldn't help but go on his knees, hands raised above his head on the chopping board, still holding onto the carrot and knife. He was so tired. He was so, so tired. And angry. And upset. And worn-out. And he just didn't know what he was doing any more.
He had to hastily leave his workplace to pick up the children, despite his manager's threat of halving his pay if he left in the middle of the meeting. He knew they couldn't afford to lose anymore money, but the children came first before anything, and so he left the building pushed purely by the maternal instincts that screams that he can't let his babies be scared and left alone. There was some sort of accident on the way that caused heavy traffic, so he had to get off the taxi and run the rest of the way to the school.
On the way back, the traffic had become worse, so Wooseok carried the growing Dohyon and their two school bags as Hyeongjun tried his hardest to keep up with his mother's big strides, but of course his little 6 year old feet couldn't match the man's steps and so it took longer than Wooseok wanted for them to reach the hotel. He was sweaty and had two hungry children along with him, and despite all his efforts and sweet talking, his manager just would not let him go back into the meeting. Wooseok left the hotel, with Hyeongjun and Dohyon, so close to the edge he was surprised that it was only then, when he accidentally cut himself whilst chopping carrots, that the tears flowed.
He must've been sobbing pretty loudly as he felt two sets of arms wrapping around him in a hug. When Wooseok opened his eyes, he saw Hyeongjun letting him go but then he held onto Wooseok's cheeks instead, his own eyes teary.
"What's wrong eomma? Why are you crying?" The little six year old asked, as Dohyon, whose face was pressed against his side, shook his tiny head, trying to mask the sniffles that escaped him every now and then.
These sight made Wooseok want to cry even more, but he didn't, because he couldn't let his babies go to bed sad. His precious angels. God, he loved them so much.
"Nothing Hyeongjun-ie, eomma just accidentally cut himself trying to make dinner," Wooseok said gently, letting out a soft laugh as his oldest gasp and ran out of the room to get what he assumed was their first aid kit. Little Dohyon-ie pulled on his arm, to inspect the injured index finger and began blowing onto it like how their father always did when they scrape their knees. It always made them feel better and so he hoped it would also help his eomma. Hyeongjun came back with a pink polka dotted bandaid and placed it gingerly over their mother's wound. Wooseok smiled warmly as the two placed gentle kisses over the bandaid, again just as how their father would to any boo boo. He lets out another soft laugh. As much as they were his angel babies, they were also very much Seungyoun's little gentlemens.
They waited for half an hour before Wooseok made the boys eat their dinner without Seungyoun. It was getting very close to their bedtimes and they still needed to wash up. Washing up wasn't too hard, thank Budhha and Wooseok managed to put the two into their bed by 8pm. He showered the two with kisses and wished them sweet dreams and good night, and the two boys showered him back with as much love as they could give back.
The moment with the boys really warmed his heart, but bending over them for a good five minutes gave him a sore neck. He could not wait to get into bed.
Wooseok left the boys' room and saw the mess that they call their home. He sighed. The wall clock showed that it was 8:09pm. He guessed cleaning up for ten more minutes was not too much. Picking up toys from the floor, spare socks, random pillows, Wooseok couldn't help but think that there was no point in cleaning up. The place would be a mess again come the morning. It was only when he was halfway done that he heard the quiet beeping of their safety lock being opened.
He thanked Budhha that it was a soft plushie that was in his grasp as he threw the toy at Seungyoun's face as the other entered frantically into their apartment.
"How dare you come in here."
Seungyoun looked at Wooseok with shock. Palms out as if he was trying to tame a wild animal.
"Why would you even dare. Get out." Another toy flew towards Seungyoun.
"Listen Seokie, I-"
"Get out." This time it was a towel hurled towards the other.
"Get out right now. I don't want to see your face. Get out." The younger said, turning to go to their kitchen in an attempt to calm himself down.
"Wooseok, let me explain."
Somehow, those words ticked Wooseok off so much, causing him to turn and threaten the other with a "Shut it. If you say one more word you'll need a bigger bandaid than that one on your temple."
Seungyoun's eyes grew wide at that, he knew Wooseok very well and knew that the smaller man was not joking. "Yah, how could you say that." He tried making the atmosphere a little lighter, but it didn't work for Wooseok.
"I said shut it." Can't he just leave him alone already?
"Let me explain."
"Shut it! I don't want to hear you!" Wooseok screamed, he was breathing hard. He didn't care if he woke up their neighbors with how loud he was being, he was just so angry.
"Do you know how much I ran today? There was traffic and I had to get off the taxi to get there." Seungyoun truly looked guilty and upset, he opened his mouth but Wooseok wouldn't let him interrupt.
"The school was calling saying the kids will be all alone outside of school and you weren't answering your phone. While my manager was breathing down my neck about halving my pay,"
"What was I supposed to do? Tell me?" Wooseok asked, he could feel his eyes tear up. Shit. He didn't want to cry right now.
"Was it that hard to send a single text? Was it hard to make a phone call?"
"Did I adopt them on my own?" Wooseok asked the other man again in a scream, "Why do I have to take all the responsibility!"
There was silence for a moment after that, only the ticking sound of the clock could be heard as the two looked at each other.
"I-I know, I'm sorry. Just now, I was so surprised when I saw your missed calls-" Seungyoun began, but Wooseok couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"Just now? You just checked now?" His blood pressure was surely raising at an alarming rate.
"I texted you and called you and tried to reach you all day long… And you just realized now?" Wooseok asked, ending his question with a laugh.
"Y-yeah," Seungyoun wasn't sure what to say next, the Wooseok in front of him looked like a mad man craving for blood. "I'm sorry?"
"How dare you say that you piece of junk!" Wooseok screamed, throwing the first thing he could get hold of. This time Seungyoun wisely listened to Wooseok's words and hastily ran out of their apartment, closing the door just in time before the flying apple made contact with his head.
Wooseok's knees gave up under him not a minute later, him sitting on the floor, wrapping his arms around himself. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to go to sleep even if he tried. Wooseok was usually good at keeping things to himself and he didn't really like talking to people about his feelings. But Seungyoun and him have been having fights like this even more now a days and he has been finding it very hard to grab hold onto his sanity by the way things have been going.
Deciding that it wasn't healthy to keep all his feelings bottled up, he called Seungwoo, one of his longest and most reliable friend. The phone call was a mess, when he heard his hyung's voice greeting him, he just broke and started sobbing uncontrollably.
"Useok? Hello? Are you alright?" The older asked worriedly.
"Hyung… Come… Seungyoun and I… freaking Seungyoun," Wooseok couldn't form proper sentences, just words in between his sobs.
He could hear Seungwoo sigh from the other side of the call and the older reassured Wooseok that he and Yohan will come over quickly with soju.
___________________________________________________
As promised, the two arrived with bottles of sojus and side dishes. Wooseok had finally stopped crying by the time they were there, but he was still sitting on the floor surrounded by the mess that he himself created. The two didn't mind the mess, their houses weren't any better. They each took Wooseok's hand and guided him to the kitchen table, setting up their drinks and food. Yohan opened the first bottle of soju and handed it to Wooseok. The other downed the whole bottle in one go, Yohan looking at him like he did magic.
"Wah, Seungyoun-hyung must be in big trouble," the younger said, handing Wooseok another bottle.
Wooseok took one gulp, looked at the bottle as though it had all the answers in the world, before placing it down the table.
"I think I want a divorce," he finally said, sounding tired.
The others looked at him, shocked. They were speechless for a moment, before they found their voices.
"What?"
"Why? What did Seungyoun do this time?" Seungwoo asked, trying to understand the younger's thoughts.
"Is he having an affair?" Yohan asked in a whisper.
The oldest of the three hit the youngest on his shoulder, sighing exasperatedly.
"What type of question is that. Seungyoun might be a hopeless idiot, but he'll never cheat on Wooseok," Seungwoo said confidently, before doubt showed in his eyes and he looked at Wooseok worriedly.
"Is he though?"
Wooseok just stared at nothingness as he shook his head with a soft "no".
The two friends took a sigh of relief at that, but then wondered why the middle would want a divorce.
"What is it then Useok-ie?"
Wooseok sighed, trying to find the right words.
"I… I just- I can't live like this anymore. Back then when we were dating, even during the start of our marriage, I always felt so warm, so giddy whenever I saw his face. Freaking butterflies and rainbows inside me whenever he smiled." Wooseok looked down, remembering his feelings back then. How his heart would always feel like it would explode with happiness whenever they interacted.
"But now... I can't even stand his face anymore. We just end up shouting at each other all the time. We're always stressed, or tired, or angry, around each other. And I just…" Wooseok took a deep breath.
"It's not the same anymore. I don't know what to do." He finished his rant with a whisper.
"Yah, that's just inevitable in every marriage." Seungwoo said, trying to reason with the younger. "Look at me and Yuvin, sometimes I feel like ripping his head off when he gives Dongpyo cheese even though he's lactose intolerant."
"Yeah, but then the next minute, you see them tongue fighting at the corner of the room when the kid's not there," Yohan added, giggling when the oldest punched him on the shoulder.
"Anyways, what I was saying was that, obviously there's ups and downs in every marriage. You guys are just at one of the down moments right now," Seungwoo said with a smile, hoping his advice would make Wooseok feel better.
"No, this isn't just a moment Hyung, it's been going on for so long," Wooseok lowered his head on the table. "It feels like we're not living our life together, we're just tolerating each other."
"You guys know how he used to always buy me flowers, always randomly babbles on about how pretty I am. Now he doesn't even notice when I buy a new perfume, or when I dress up for him," Wooseok listed on.
Seungwoo and Yohan looked at each other again before Yohan placed his hand softly on Wooseok's knee.
"Sweetie, when was the last time he touched you?"
Wooseok blew off at the that question. "Exactly! I don't even know. I can't remember the last time we had sex. Or even just kissed properly. He couldn't keep his hands off me back then, heck we could even do it every night when he's determined. But now? He's always tired after work when I try something, and when he tries to initiate it I'm never in the mood because I have so much to do in the house." Wooseok couldn't believe that he was openly complaining about such things to anyone, even if it were to two of his best friends.
"Oh, Useok honey, we know how frustrating that can be." Seungwoo said sweetly, "and I understand how hard it is to do so many things in the house, having to look after the children, and even working on top of that."
"But you need to understand as well that Seungyoun also has a lot of responsibilities to do." Seungwoo paused to let the message sink into Wooseok's mind. "He must also be stressed with all that's happening,"
"And equally frustrated, it's a miracle he's not cheating on you," Yohan added once again, face being pushed aside by Seungwoo.
"Not helping," he mutters to the younger before turning again to Wooseok, "Anyways, I know right now, it feels like you're the only one doing all the work in this relationship, but you mustn't forget how hard he's been working all these years for you and the kids."
Wooseok was still angry, but he couldn't help the tightness in his throat when he was reminded of this. He knew that they both jumped into life way too early, too in love to think of the consequences. And that yes, he had sacrificed so much of his early adulthood because of that, but so did Seungyoun.
"Where is he anyways?" the older asked, looking at the direction of their bedroom.
Wooseok looked away, a bit ashamed of how he reacted that day.
"I don't know, I sent him away."
Yohan clucked his teeth at that, "Sometimes, hyung, you're a bit too-"
The younger stopped at the glare Wooseok was sending him with.
"No, but honestly though, how is he?" Seungwoo asked, with Wooseok getting annoyed at how worried he sounded.
"I don't know Seungwoo-hyung, I thought you guys were here to hear how I am and not about him," Wooseok complained.
"Wooseok, you're husband was just in an accident today and you don't even care about where he is right now?"
This made Wooseok turn to Seungwoo. What?
"Yeah, I tried to call you and even messaged you about it, remember?" Seungwoo said, and something about a random how is he? message swirled into Wooseok's mind.
"Wait, you didn't know?"
Wooseok shook his head.
"Well, you know the big accident that happened today? The one that caused so much traffic?"
Wooseok nodded, yes he remembered, he had to get off the taxi because walking was faster based on how slow the traffic was going.
"Yeah well, Yuvin was on his way to pick Dongpyo up early for a dental appointment," Seungwoo waffled on, "But anyways, apparently the accident was at that intersection where there's only one lane, that's why there traffic was so bad, and it was a three way crash with some other cars rear ending."
"Apparently Yuvin saw that one of the car that rear ended was from the company Seungyoun is working in? And that he thought he saw him unconscious and being taken in by the ambulance?" Seungwoo ends, not really sure if he should continue.
"That's why I asked you if he was… Wooseok where are you going?" Seungwoo asked, as the other stood to get his jacket and shoes.
"I need to look for him,"
"There's no point looking for him now, it's 11o'clock at night, it's pitch black outside and it's raining. He's probably just crashing at a friend's place or something,"
"Or a brothel- Ow, Hyung I was kidding!"
"No, but what if he's out in the rain, and what if he's injured."
"He's a grown man, Wooseok he can look after himself."
"Yeah, and plus he was obviously well enough to leave the hospital if he was able to go home before you kicked him out,"
"Yohan, sometimes you just can't control your tongue can you," Seungwoo sighed at the youngest.
"I may have had a bottle or two before coming here," he confessed, and so Seungwoo stood up and started cleaning up their bottles and plates.
"You have been through a lot today, Wooseok, you need to rest. I'm sure Seungyoun is fine, he'll come back tomorrow and you guys will have to talk it out. Quit thinking of this divorce idea. You guys are soulmates."
Seungwoo forced the younger to take off his shoes and pushed him to his bedroom, tucking Wooseok in the bed.
"Aigoo, look at how bloated your pretty face is from all that crying. Sleep, okay? Make sure you guys talk properly tomorrow." The older said, patting Wooseok's hair.
"I'll lock the door on my way out, hopefully Yohan won't be a pain," Wooseok said out loud as he pushed the youngest out the door.
"Night, Useok!" He said before the beeping of the door signaled their exit.
Wooseok felt better from Seungwoo's sweet talk. But then his mind started thinking about what happened that day and guilt started to sink in his heart.
Wooseok used to have a problem when he was young, where he was always cold despite how many layers of clothing and blankets he covered himself with. And he realised that now, despite the doona's and blankets, he felt cold again as he laid in bed. He hasn't been cold in a long time. Not since he met Seungyoun.
He turned to the space where Seungyoun usually slept in, now empty and cold without the man's presence. He couldn't sleep that night. He stayed up hoping the older would come home. He struggled to keep his eyes open, hoping to see the other rest at the empty side of their bed. The clock beside their bed said that it was already 2:58am.
Seungyoun didn't come home that night.