Archive of Our Own ^beta

“You fool! Your soul is forfeit!” As Percy fired his gun towards the Broker, there was a fire in Percy’s eyes that none in Vox Machina had ever seen. Yet at the same time, Keyleth couldn’t help but notice an emptiness, a lack of emotions, of anything. With the Broker’s death, the fight very quickly turned in Vox Machina’s favor, the old woman running away and then being killed in short order. Soon they all stood circled up with the dead bodies of their enemies lying on the ground before them. As Lilith explained part of her family background, Keyleth watched Percy out of the corner of her eye. He seemed slightly less crazed than in the heat of battle, but there was still a blankness in his eyes and he gripped the Pepperbox in his hands just a little too tightly. The rest of the group didn’t seem to have noticed this oddity in Percy’s behavior or seemed to brush it off in light of the Briarwoods and Percy’s family history. Vex’ahlia seemed to notice Keyleth’s gaze, she had always been the most perceptive of the group, and watched Percy just a little more closely.

The twins had a vested interest in Percy. Vex couldn’t explain exactly why that was, but there was something that drew Vex and Vax towards him. They had accepted him into their fold and in return, he had worked for the twins, or at least, for Vex in the creation of ammo. As the other’s engaged Lilith in discussion, Vex made eye contact with Keyleth and gave her a small nod.

“Lilith, darling,” Vex interrupted Tiberius before they could get too terribly far off-topic after such a day, “come back with us to our keep. At least for the night. It’s been a hell of a day and there is a meal and a bed for you in it.”

“That sounds amenable,” Lilith agreed. Vox Machina at once set off for Greyskull Keep, most continuing their previous discussion as they walked. Vex discreetly dropped behind the group to join Keyleth. 

The two exchange glances at first before Vex began to speak quietly. “When did you notice Percy?”

“In the last fight,” Keyleth murmured back. “When he killed the Broker. I’ve never seen Percy so… empty.” Vex nodded, her face both hard and thoughtful. The two remained silent the rest of the walk back to the keep although Vex reached out and grabbed Keyleth’s hand in a light squeeze.

Laina took one look at all of them and sat them down immediately. “Vax’ildan you’re much too pale. Sit, all of you! You’ll feel much better with some food in you.” 

“Laina, you are a sight for sore eyes,” Vax flirted with a grin. “I’m sure with your food, the day will seem less dark and ominous.” Vax defended himself with flirtation and jokes. Vex knew this after years of being with her brother. They would need to have a conversation about this day. Vax had gone toe-to-toe with the Briarwoods and had nearly been lost. He may have apologized, but Vex knew him too well to think that would be the end of it. Nevertheless, Vax was not her biggest worry. He may have been calling for help in his actions, but he wasn’t a shell of himself, not like Percy. 

Percy was sitting with them, smiling and talking, but none of it was quite reaching his eyes. It was as if he was present physically, but mentally he was in a completely different place. Vex’ahlia could understand to an extent the dark place where Percy was. She remembered the darkness of losing her mother and she remembered Vax pulling her out of it, just as she pulled him out of his. Percy was alone in this, had been alone in this and now it had come back. The emptiness in his eyes was not caused by the day’s activities, it had started long before them with the killing of the de Rolo family, but facing the Briarwoods had brought everything back.

There was nothing wrong with mourning or wanting revenge, Vex’ahlia knew that. In those times, disassociation from reality was easier, especially in battles, Vex’ahlia knew that too. What was wrong was the persisting emptiness in Percy’s eyes. It was dangerous, unstable, and it would hurt Vox Machina in the end.

It was with this in mind that as the other members of Vox Machina went up to their quarters to sleep and as Lilith was led to a guest bedroom, Vex’ahlia followed Percy down to his workshop rather than to the bed she desperately needed. By the time she found her way to Percy’s workshop, he had already begun to work once more. The glow of his furnace illuminated his face in the reddish glow, most of the lights turned down to the minimum he needed to work. For a moment, Vex’ahlia watched Percy work, the strong muscles of his forearm flex with the swinging of the hammer, the scattering of sparks from the red-hot metal with every clang. She envied how Percy could lose himself in his work, how he could create something out of a few pieces of metal. Vex never had been good at the creation of things although she hoarded the material possessions she got as if one wrong move would take it all away.

Vex waited for Percy to pause briefly in his work before rapping softly on the metal door that he had forgotten to close in his haste to go back to work. Percy startled for a moment, turning towards her with the hammer raised defensively before relaxing when he saw her, setting the hammer down and grabbing a rag from nearby.

“Vex,” Percy nodded, “as you can see I’m working. I’m afraid I’m not in the mood for pleasantries if you’d just leave me to my work.” He still sounded like Percy, formal and well-thought but there were slight indications of following through of motions of his habits rather actually meaning it. The emptiness persisted.

“Percy, darling,” Vex took a step into his workshop towards Percy, “I’m afraid you can’t get me to leave so easily, not this time. We’re worried about you.”

“We?” Percy had turned away from her, looking over some plans for a new machine he had thought up.

“Keyleth noticed something off in the last battle and brought it to my attention,” Vex continued to press forward, moving to the side of him, not too close to startle, but close enough that he was alerted to her presence.

“And instead of Keyleth talking to me, she sent you.”

“Well, darling, we both know that Keyleth isn’t the best with words. She was concerned, but she didn’t know how to articulate why she was worried. I do,” Vex squared her shoulders and watched Percy for a reaction closely.

He sighed and closed his eyes briefly, looking up towards the ceiling, back to the plans, and finally looking at her. “And I’m sure a simple, ‘I’m fine’ won’t be enough to convince you. Nevertheless, I’d much rather return to my work. It’s useful.”

“I can understand what you’re feeling,” Vex pressed. “Well, not completely, but I know the point those emotions come from. I remember the anger and the mourning when Vax and I found out about our mother. It’s not the same as losing your entire family to those monsters, but I remember the helplessness and the darkness that came with wanting to avenge my mother.”

“You’re right, you can’t understand,” Percy turned away from her but Vex grabbed his hand before he could walk away.

“I know. But Percy, we are here for you. Don’t forget that. Don’t pull away from us because of this,” Vex’ahlia urged. “The Briarwoods will pay for what they’ve done. I almost lost my brother today. He is all I have left in the world and I almost lost him. They will pay for the deaths of your family and Vox Machina will ensure that, but you can’t lose yourself to this.” Percy turned slowly towards her. His eyes were less empty than before, but it still wasn’t the same.

“I thank you for your empathy or rather sympathy for my situation and I understand your concern,” Vex searched Percy’s face for clues to what he was feeling and found very little present. “I do not doubt that they will pay for their crimes. It is my life’s goal for them to pay for that and I will do it no matter the cost.”

Vex and Percy stood there a moment in silence, staring the other down. “I will not let you sacrifice your soul if I have the choice, but I will not stop you. If this is what you want, know that I and my brother and the rest of Vox Machina stand behind you.” 

Percy nodded and started to pull away from her, but Vex held fast. “Go to bed, Percy. Your forge, your work, your plans can all wait for the morning.  You need the rest as much as any of us. I will not stop you or interrupt your work tomorrow, but let it rest for the night. Come, Percy.” Vex tugged lightly on his hand and for a moment she wondered if he would resist, if he would pull away and work until he collapsed exhausted in the cot in the workroom only to get up again in the morning and start again. There was a hesitation in his eyes, she could see it, but after a moment, his shoulders slumped and he let himself be led out of the basement and upstairs towards his room. 

Greyskull Keep was dark as the two walked upstairs. Everyone seemed to have already gone to bed and only the low lighting torches guided their path. Vex didn’t let go of Percy’s hand half for fear that if she did he’d turn and return to his work without a second thought. She nudged his door open and finally let go of his hand. Percy was watching her, his glasses glinting in the torchlight and Vex was struck by how tired he looked. She could see the weight of his world for an instant and wondered how long he had been carrying that without any of them knowing. 

She followed him inside his room when Percy finally entered, turning to look at her for one last time. They didn’t speak for a moment, maybe Vex was still worried he wouldn’t stay here, maybe Percy didn’t want to be alone yet. Vex couldn’t explain why they were standing silently in Percy’s room, the door closed and the only true light in the room being that from the moon coming in his window. It was oddly intimate. 

Percy opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, looking at the closed door. The next minute he pressed his mouth to hers in a bruising kiss. There was the same fire to his kiss that he had used in the fights earlier with his gun. He was demanding in a way Vex’ahlia had not expected as he pressed himself up against her as she eagerly responded and returned his kiss. She could not precisely pinpoint when they began to lose their clothes although as her knees hit the bed as Percy backed her onto it, she had significantly fewer clothes on than she had in that conversation. She fell asleep in Percy’s bed that night, his arm around her and his chest pressed to her back. 

Vex’ahlia woke up alone. She remembered Percy leaving the bed early in the morning, working furiously at the desk. She had been tempted to coax him back to bed, but even as that thought had crossed her mind she had fallen back asleep. Perhaps it was for the best, it certainly avoided an awkward morning-after conversation. Vex quietly slipped out of Percy’s room into her own, thanking the gods that the other members of Vox Machina tended to sleep in a little later. As they gathered around the breakfast table later that morning, the lack of Percy and Lilith was immediately noticed.

“I bet Percy and Lilith shacked up together,” Scanlan stated confidently in only that way he could.

“Percy wouldn’t have done that,” Vex protested. “He was far too bothered by the fight with the Briarwoods.” She didn’t add how she knew Percy and Lilith didn’t ‘shack up together,’ because it was her and Percy that had done that. Maybe she should have, but it was one night and didn’t mean anything. Percy was hurting and she was there. She was also under no illusion that this would mean anything in terms of a relationship. And anyway, revealing that she had slept with Percy would only create rifts in the party, concerns that this would change the relationships between them. So it was best to let Scanlan keep his fantasies. Vex’ahlia quieted the envy inside of her as Grog and Scanlan speculated that Percy and Lilith must have slept together last night. It hadn’t meant anything and it wouldn’t happen again.

—--—

Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III had known that the Briarwoods might cost his soul. It was a reality he had accepted and had even sought out. Getting revenge for his family was worth everything, even his soul. He didn’t expect to survive this quest and he welcomed that. He knew the cost as black smoke surrounded him each time he pulled out his gun to kill another noble, another person who worked for the Briarwoods. Vox Machina was concerned about his control, his well being but Percy was determined to see this through.

Vex’ahlia, in particular, seemed on edge. He knew that sleeping with Vex had been a mistake. He gave in to a temptation that he never should have given into. Percy had found Vex’ahlia beautiful from the moment he had met her so long ago in that jail cell, but he had quelled his attraction and his emotions for the good of the party. And then the Briarwoods returned to his life. The deal he had made years ago was finally in reach of completion, at least, on his end. It was the emotions after that first encounter that had clouded his judgement, but Percy swore to himself it would not happen again. The universe and the gods seemed determined to make him eat his words.

Vex’ahlia did not seem to have gotten this message. She pushed him up against the wall after their assault on the mansion of Tylieri and there was this potential in her actions that Percy wasn’t sure how to respond to. He chose to ignore it, there were the Briarwoods to kill and his family to avenge and confronting Vex on the one-night stand was out of the question. She hadn’t mentioned it the morning after the group had returned from tracking a roc and Percy had left the topic well enough alone.

Vax’ildan had unknowingly brought it up with his well earned threat of ‘if you hurt my sister…’ Percy had agreed immediately with a ‘I would expect nothing less,’ but he wondered what Vax would do or say if he knew of that one night stand. Vax would be furious, the protective brother he should be, but it certainly would give his threat to kill Percy a new connotation. Still, Percy knew nothing more would, could, happen again between him and Vex’ahlia and it was foolish to even contemplate about that idea with the fight ahead of them.

It was post-battle that Percy finally allowed himself to contemplate all that had transpired over the past couple of days. Finding Cassandra alive, finally facing the Briarwoods, realizing that revenge wasn’t satisfying as he had expected, saving Whitestone, fighting his demon, and losing his Pepperbox. It was that night when the group was put up in an inn after the death of the Briarwoods when Percy could finally come to terms with it all. The town was still celebrating, something that made Percy smile as he looked out of his window. He knew his revenge should have cost his soul and yet Vox Machina ensured that it hadn’t. Orthax was gone with his Pepperbox seemingly. Scanlan had defended himself on destroying that gun and Percy knew he was right, but he wasn’t going to admit that at this moment and he was still going to mourn for that gun. It was his first and that gun was special and now it was gone.

Percy ran a hand through his hair, moving away from the window and glancing over to where Bad News was carefully placed on the table. Maybe he hadn’t wanted revenge until talking to Orthax and making that deal, but his guns and his tinkering had become a part of him. Maybe he couldn’t regret the deals he had made because they had led him here. 

He felt bone-tired after the events from the day and he knew he should have retired long ago yet there was a restlessness that refused to let him rest just yet. Perhaps it was the fact that he had grown accustomed to the constant presence of the others over the past few days and there was an uneasiness to sleeping alone after all that had happened. Percy doubted that was the case although stranger things were possible.

His thoughts were disturbed by a knock on the door. He was grateful for the interruption from his thoughts and immediately opened it to reveal one Vex’ahlia, still dressed although she had unbraided her hair in preparation for rest. 

“Vex’ahlia, do come in.” Percy opened the door wider to allow the half-elven woman into his bedroom. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Vex gave a short laugh as she entered and Percy closed the door behind her. “I… It’s been a day and with everything that’s happened, I wanted to check on you, away from the group that is. I know you said you were fine, but I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything as I was getting ready, so here I am. How are you really, Percy?” She turned so she was facing Percy, illuminated by the moonlight that was coming in his window. There was no doubt in Percival’s mind that Vex was asking due to Orthax and black smoke that had surrounded him. It wasn’t exactly a topic he was keen to dive into.

“This seems like a long conversation to be getting into so close to midnight when we both should be asleep,” Percy smiled, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I’m… better. I thought that revenge even at such a high cost would make the death of my entire family not sting as much, but it feels hollow. I’m glad the Briarwoods are dead, but it didn’t make me feel like I thought it would. It didn’t feel like I was avenging my family. At least Whitestone is free.” Percy shook his head and shrugged. “I had hoped it would make me feel better.”

Vex stepped toward him and grabbed his hand. “Those monsters are gone and can never hurt anyone again and we’re still here for you. You might not be the only de Rolo left in Whitestone now, but you still have Vox Machina as your family too.”

“Speaking of de Rolo, I didn’t know you knew my full name,” Percy grinned, this time lighting up his entire face. “I’m impressed.”

“Percival, you say it enough when introducing yourself, I’d hope I knew your name,” Vex shot back, grinning as well. “Your name is important to you, something you have carried around. I want to remember the important things.” The two stood in silence, Percy touched by her words and unsure how exactly to respond. 

Vex looked down at where their hands were still joined before speaking again, “I didn’t just come here to ask after your well-being.”

“Oh?”

“There’s something I wanted to do and I figured we were finally out of danger.” Before Percy could ask what exactly that was, Vex’ahlia took a step closer, making their bodies flush against one another, and kissed him. The gods seemed determined to make Percy eat his words, but in that moment of surprise, Percy couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. He wanted this, he wanted her. Vex’s hand was in his hair, drawing him closer to her and Percy couldn’t help but tangle his hands in the waves of her hair, pressing himself closer. They drew apart after a few moments and Percy pulled back to stop himself.

“Vex, we can’t. Your brother, Vox Machina. We shouldn’t.“

Vex huffed out a breath. “In the last 24 hours, we stormed Whitestone, found your sister, fought the Briarwoods, and defeated the demon you made a deal with. In doing so, my brother almost died, you almost died, and I almost died. Do not, Percival, tell me what we should or should not do. My brother thinks I’m in my room, Vox Machina will remain oblivious to what happens in this room tonight. Yes, we can.” She stepped closer once more and kissed him again. 

Percy knew he shouldn’t give in. Once was an accident, but letting himself repeat the mistake would be foolhardy. Yet he didn’t repeat his protestations. Vex’ahlia seemed to count this as a win as she pushed his coat off and set to work on the buttons of his shirt. There was a frenzy to her actions, it wasn’t careful, it wasn’t methodical, it was a need for it to be done now. As Percy seemed to understand this, Vex shifted to ridding herself of her own furs and leathers before pushing him on the bed and practically falling on top of him. There wasn’t really time for Percy to protest after that.

Vex didn’t stay long in his room. As quickly as she came, she kissed him once more, replaced her leathers and slipped back to her own room. Percy was left in his bed, staring up after the ceiling and slowing nodding off, contemplating Vex’s last words before she left. “This didn’t mean anything and we don’t tell the others.” She was right of course. Percy had eaten his words after the first time but he knew there would be no third. He was very much in danger of falling in love with her. He always had been and continuing such an arrangement would only increase the likelihood. Still, Percy couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late.

------

Vex’ahlia couldn’t get warm. Once Vox Machina with Kashaw, Zahra, and Lady Kima had arrived back at Whitestone, the Beholder dead, the first Vestige retrieved, and Vex’ahlia revived, they had silently spilt up to their respective rooms. Vax’ildan had tailed her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Don’t ever do that to me again, sister,” Vex’ahlia had never heard Vax so frightened. The two stood in Vex’s room, hugging tightly for a few minutes. “You’re all I have left in this world. If Kashaw hadn’t been there…” They both knew there would have been no way to save Vex’ahlia without the cleric, at least not there and it was clear on both of their faces as Vax pulled away to look at her. “Don’t ever do that to me again.” Vex nodded wordlessly, her throat tight. She didn’t remember dying, just the coldness of waking up on the stone floor with everyone gathered around her. Of Vax’s face staring down at her with tear tracks down his cheeks, of the worry on Scanlan’s face, the shock on Keyleth’s and Grog’s, the shock and pain and regret that was visible on Percy’s. 

“Never, brother,” she managed. Vax kissed her forehead, hugging her tightly again. He must have felt her shiver because he pulled the cloak he had given her tighter around her shoulders and nodded.

“I don’t want to leave you,” Vax looked pained at the thought. For a moment, Vex’ahlia entertained the idea of letting her brother stay, of them sleeping together like they’d used to, protecting each other from the outside world. But they had come so far and no longer were so dependent on the other’s presence.

“I’ll be here in the morning. Go to bed, brother. Find Keyleth,” Vex did not shove her brother out of her room, but it was a close thing. Vax left slowly, but once he was gone, Vex’ahlia was alone once more. Almost immediately, the coldness of her room settled in around her and Vex felt the urge to go and find Trinket and wrap herself in his warmth. As nice as Castle Whitestone was, none of the rooms were quite big enough for Trinket to stay in with her, although she had tried during their first stay here. Instead of giving into that urge, Vex’ahlia wrapped herself in a cloak and then a blanket and sat in front of the fire that was already blazing in her room. She watched the flames for a long moment, letting the battle wash over her and felt her muscles ache from the strain of the day.

Vox Machina had survived a fight with a Beholder. Vex’ahlia had brushed with death and had come back. In the coming days, Vex knew that these would be facts that emboldened the group. Additions to their list of accomplishments. Right now, Vex couldn’t help but wonder what the point of it all was. It was true they were heroes and they were fighting to save Emon from the Chroma Conclave, but Vex’ahlia had always been more influenced by the money rather than the glory. It had been that influence that had led to her death. Had she not been so keen on the treasure, perhaps she would not have been near when the arcane runes were set off, she would not have died. Vex shivered despite her layers and the warmth of the fire.

She sat there for a little longer, before deciding that being left alone with her thoughts was doing her no good. She stood, tucking the cloak around her in an attempt to keep warm and opened her door. Instead of being faced with an empty hallway, she found Percy sitting in the corridor opposite of her room, staring at her door. Thankfully, he seemed just as surprised to see her as she was to see him. The two blinked at each other before Percy stood, and raked a hand through his white hair. He had lost his blue coat and was dressed only in a loose white shirt and brown pants.

“Vex’ahlia,” he pushed his gold-rimmed glasses up his nose slightly. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I’m sorry, I’ll just-“ He turned and began walking down the hall away from her.

“No, wait!” Vex’ahlia almost wished she could have stopped herself from saying anything. That would have been the better option. He paused and turned back towards her, looking at her with an expectation in his gaze. Vex didn’t know what to do with that. Vex didn’t know why she had told him to wait. “How long have you been out here?”

“Not long.”

“Did you see Vax leave?” Vex’ahlia didn’t know why this was the track her line of questioning had gone down, but she felt like this was important.

“In passing. I think he was headed to get a drink.” A while then. Vex’ahlia didn’t know how long it had been since Vax had left her room but it had at least been the better part of an hour.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

Vex’ahlia huffed. “Why were you just sitting in front of my door? You could have knocked.”

“You’re assuming I wanted to talk.” Percy had begun to make his way back towards her, still a few steps away, but much closer than before.

“Percival.”

“Vex’ahlia.” 

The two were at a stand off. Neither one willing to make the first move now, they had entered a game neither one was aware they had started. Unfortunately for Percy, Vex’ahlia had grown up with Vax who had loved to create stand offs he knew he could win. Vex had gotten very good at staring him down and refusing to let him win. Percy stood no chance.

Percy gave in after a few minutes. “I didn’t come to talk.” 

Vex grinned silently to herself at her victory and raised her eyebrow. “What did you come here for then, darling?”

“I needed to know that you were alive.” He looked almost embarrassed by that statement.

“And you could do that from behind a closed door?”

“I knew you were behind that closed door. Living and breathing, and that was enough.” 

Vex’ahlia bit her lip, considering this before asking. “And why did you need that, Percival?”

“Gods, Vex,” Percy ran a hand through his hair, looking at her. “I killed you.” Before she could speak, point out that it wasn’t him, but a trap that killed her, he continued. “I set off that trap. It was my foolish actions that didn’t think to check for traps, to let you check for traps. You or Vax would have seen that from a mile away, but instead, I thought the Beholder was the worse of it and I assumed there would be no more traps. Vex’ahlia, I killed you.” He looked so pained. Like he had lost everything, but she was right here, he had lost nothing.
“Percival,” Vex took a step forward. “You can’t blame yourself for this. I’m alive. Kashaw brought me back. I’m fine.” She ignored the coldness that still clung to her as she spoke.

“He shouldn’t have needed to bring you back,” Percy insisted, no longer looking at her. “I should have known better.”

“You’ll just have to make me something to make up for it then,” Vex smiled weakly, but her attempt at a joke succeeded at making Percy laugh a little.

“I did purchase that black powder from Victor with your help. I suppose I have even more of a reason to make you something lovely,” Percy looked back at her. They had been in this position a couple of times now. Percy didn’t know if it was that knowledge or a greater force, a knowledge that Vex’ahlia was alive when by all accounts she should’ve died, that led him to close the distance between them and kiss her.

Vex’ahlia eagerly returned his kiss, letting him pulled her against him, both seemingly unaware of the fact that they remained in the open corridor where anyone could walk by and see or maybe they just didn’t care. The first time this had happened, Vex’ahlia knew it was an accident, but now she couldn’t deny the rightness she felt each time it happened. She liked making the quiet tinkerer press her up against a hard surface like he couldn’t get enough of her. She liked knowing that she had as much of an effect on him as he did on her. The first time they kissed in every encounter was almost desperate, like neither one of them knew how long it would last and were determined to make it worth every second. They broke apart, breathing hard. Percy’s pupils were dilated and his glasses were slightly askew and Vex’ahlia was sure she looked disheveled as well. There was a pattern to these things. First, there was a kiss, then a falling into bed together. Perhaps there shouldn’t have been a pattern, but once was an accident, twice was a coincidence, three times was a pattern. 

Vex started to move to kiss him again, but she finally seemed to come aware of her surroundings and paused, placing a hand against his chest and moving back a little. “Percy, we shouldn’t do this. You were right before. This is a mistake and we can’t keep making it.”

“That wasn’t what you said last time.”

“That was last time and we shouldn’t have done it then. Percy, every time you and I are involved like this, we start to change the dynamics between us. It might not have affected our friendship yet, but the group will notice eventually and it will change how we act around each other. We start ignoring our surroundings and someone will walk in on us eventually. Anyone could have seen us just now. We can’t.” Percy watched Vex’ahlia closely, not pushing against her hand in an attempt to get closer, just watching. He stood there considering for longer than she expected before taking her hands in his, in much the same gesture as she had at previous times.

“Vex’ahlia,” he met her gaze, “we have emphasized not wanting to disturb party dynamics so many times, but in that time Vax’ildan has declared his love, Grog has made some questionable decisions that have turned us against each other briefly, Keyleth has gotten frustrated with all of us on a number of occasions, hell, you’ve died, Vex. The party dynamics that we seem so intent on preserving have been changing without us doing anything to affect them. I want this, I want you, but I won’t force myself on you, not if you don’t also want it.”

For the first time since Vex’ahlia came back alive, she didn’t feel cold. She could feel the heat radiating from Percy and she ached to feel that warmth. “I don’t think I can promise anything more than a night.”

“I wasn’t asking for more. We can continue our pattern of sorts. We don’t talk about this afterwards, but we stop telling ourselves that we shouldn’t.”

Vex smiled and kissed him again, long and deep. “Come to bed, darling. You can even stay the night this time.” The two hadn’t moved from outside her door so slipping inside and closing the door behind them was easy and quiet and unnoticeable, as long as no one had noticed their kiss in the corridor. There was still a nervousness about the two of them, but it quickly disappeared as the two wrapped themselves around each other. Vex fell asleep in Percy’s arms and there wasn’t a moment in the night where either one of them left. It was the first time they had actually slept the entire night together, although they might have both woken up in the wee hours of the morning and decided a repeat of the previous night’s activities was a good plan before falling back asleep. Vex finally was no longer cold, wrapped in the blankets on her bed and Percy’s arms.

Vex left first, sneaking out to find the rest of the group. There was no discussion about not telling the group. Both knew there would be no discussion, but neither was as confident as they had been the previous times about it not happening again. 

--—--

Vex’ahlia had wanted to help Percy tinker. He really shouldn’t have been surprised by this development, Vex had always been overjoyed and a little bit fascinated with his work especially when it pertained to her, but Percy never expected her to be interested in working with him. Tinkering was messy and time consuming and could lead to all manner of explosions if he wasn’t careful. Percy had always found it relaxing, it required all of his attention so any persisting problems seemed to float away when he tinkered. It was the reason why this is what he had turned to after the first encounter with the Briarwoods. 

Most of the time he had a project he wanted to work on and when he stumbled upon a rare moment, he indulged in being able to focus on it. It was Vex’ahlia’s project that had kept him occupied recently. Vex’s acquisition of a flying broom had been met with mixed opinions by Vox Machina. Percy figured it was done and he really couldn’t stop her, so it was wise to ensure she was safe on that broom. If Vex insisted on flying, she couldn’t fall off when attempting to shoot her bow. And anyway, Percy would spend the next decade of his life attempting to make up for killing her.

He hadn’t expected tinkering with Vex to be so distracting. She was right there, pressed up against him so she could see what he was doing and help. And she was helpful. She was a quick learner and rapidly picked up on his signals for certain tools or where she needed to help him hold something steady. At the same time, Percy was distinctly aware of her presence. It wasn’t like when Keyleth would work with him. Keyleth would hover and help where she could, but she had no interest in learning his craft. Vex was fascinated by it. She asked all the right questions. She would ask him what he was doing and why. She was engaged in his work and Percy wanted to keep doing this. He said as much when they finished for the night.

“We should do this again sometime.” He wanted to do this again. That was as much of a surprise as anything, but perhaps it shouldn’t have been. It was unsolicited attention from Vex’ahlia.

“I’d love that.” Vex grinned at him, her smile lighting up her entire face. Gods, she was beautiful.

“This was actually agreeable.” He was surprised. This should have taken him far longer, she was so distracting, but instead, she had been a big help. The two of them had leaned closer to the other as they finished working and there were only a few inches between their faces. Percy felt like he should pull back, reestablish the distance he had been  determined to maintain so many times. He didn’t. He knew this thing between him and Vex had gone farther than the simple one night stand, even if both of them had refused to admit it for so long. He knew he was in danger of developing a romantic attachment that was most likely unwanted from Vex. This thing was something they did. In no way did he expect a romantic relationship to form from it. His head knew this, his heart did not. 

Still, it was second nature to close the distance between them and kiss her. This kiss wasn’t as frantic as the first one normally was of each encounter. He coaxed her mouth open and it was slow like both of them knew they had the entire night. One of her hands clutched at his coat and the other wound its way into his white hair, drawing him closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush up against him. In a moment, Vex’ahlia was climbing on his lap, not pausing from kissing him. His hands slipped underneath her top to caress the bare skin of her back. 

Even when they broke apart, Percy continued to mark a line of kisses across her jaw and down her neck. He was careful to leave no marks where she normally didn’t cover up, but it was a difficult thing to resist when Vex gasped and tilted her head up, exposing her throat to him more. They had never really done this slowly. It had always been with emotions running high when they had fallen into bed together. This time Percy savored her.

Vex seemed to feel the same until she started talking. “I’m worried about Vax,” she said, sounding weak and Percy felt proud knowing it was because of him. He was less than pleased with her choice of conversation. “He made a deal with the Raven Queen for me and with Grog today…” She trailed off as Percy deftly sucked a mark on her collar bone where her armor normally covered.

“Dear, I’m all for having this conversation,” Percy said, “but could we perhaps not talk about your brother when I’m trying to seduce you into bed with me?”

“Percival,” Vex blushed, her entire body seeming to go pink, “you’re trying to seduce me?”

“Is it working?”

Vex paused, focusing on his face again. “Yes.” She kissed him again, this time dirtier than the last time and Percy was very much supportive of finding something more comfortable than a bench if this was where the escalation of their activities was going.

“Your room or mine?” Vex asked, clearly on the same page that he was on. Before he could process his own response a thought came to him.

“Neither.” Vex pulled away, looking at him strangely. “This may be a terrible idea, but this is Scanlan’s multipurpose room which is, apparently, soundproof.”

Vex looked somewhere between amused and disgusted. “Only Scanlan.”

“Only Scanlan,” Percy agreed. “I wandered around here when Scanlan showed this to me the first time and there’s a chaise tucked in a corner. It’s certainly more Scanlan’s style than mine, but no one should be coming in here so we’d definitely be uninterrupted.”

Vex gave him an odd look. “I wouldn’t have pegged you to do this sort of thing.” Neither would he, but the past few months, honestly years, had changed him. Before he could speak again. Vex was standing up and pulling him up with her. “I suppose Scanlan would approve.” She kissed him again and Percy didn’t know if that was meant to be a compliment or an insult. Before he could decide, his attention was taken by Vex starting on his clothes. He guided them towards the chaise but she seemed determined that he should have been naked at least ten minutes ago. Percy couldn’t deny his similar opinion towards her clothes.

The fourth time sleeping together was less of a turning point than it probably should’ve been. Neither one of them had argued that they shouldn’t, neither had tried to stop the inevitable fate of falling into bed with the other. This was apparently a thing they did and Percy wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Neither one of them stayed long in the room afterwards. Despite their actions, neither wanted to be caught by the rest of Vox Machina together. They had taken a risk being in the mansion Scanlan had made. Percy wasn’t sure how the spell worked and neither was Vex. This time as they left, neither commented on not saying anything. Perhaps they felt that it had already been said enough or perhaps they figured it didn’t matter, not really.

--——--

It was late in the night and the party had not begun to slow down and Vex’ahlia had not retired to her room. The people of Westerunn had been celebrating Vox Machina’s victory against Umbrasyl the ancient black dragon and there had been much ale and music that Scanlan had quietly critiqued to her once he was a little past tipsy. Perhaps Vex had not retired due to telling Amelia of her father’s death. It had made their victory almost bittersweet, an acknowledgement that they had let an innocent die for them. She could almost understand Keyleth’s panic attack from earlier. It certainly felt that this victory was tinged with loss and death. So, Vex’ahlia sat alone and nursed her drink. The rest of Vox Machina was still milling about the tavern in varying states of drunkenness. Honestly, it was surprising Keyleth was still awake, but Vex could see her standing outside the tavern with Ker.

Vax disturbed her thoughts as he sat down across from her, drink hitting the wooden table with a loud thunk. It surprised Vex, she was apparently more intoxicated than she previously thought and she wasn’t much in the mood to talk, but it would seem her brother would give her no choice. “Vex’ahlia.” 

“Vax’ildan.”

“When did you start sleeping with Percy?” There was no easing into this conversation, no reference to what they had just done and Vex had not been expecting this. She knew they had been too careless in Whitestone when they had slept together. She had known that the morning after, realizing their kiss was too public and Vax’ildan had been outside her door all night. Her brother was far too like her, more perceptive than she gave him credit for.

“Really, Vax? This is the conversation you want to have right now. Both of us a little drunk, at a party celebrating our victory against a dragon which you were in for far too long and when you emerged there were black feathers coming from you and you were falling. You want to talk about my sex life?” Vex decided she would feign ignorance later.

“We’re not dying, we’re not planning on dying tomorrow and drunk conversations are often more productive than sober ones. As far as I’m concerned this is a difficult conversation to have with you. Whenever we have had a spare moment recently, we’ve spent it planning for the next thing. We haven’t exactly gotten time to talk,” Vax almost looked cross. “So, no I never want to talk about your sex life, but when did you start sleeping with Percy?”

Ignorance then. “Me and Percy? Why ever would you think that?” Maybe blowing him off would work. She certainly didn’t want to draw attention to them, or at least draw more attention. This was not where she would want to have this conversation.

“Vex’ahlia.” It was a long shot but worth a try. Still, for all that he was like her, he forgot where she was like him. Vex’ahlia took a long drink before even considering responding.

“It was just the one night,” Vex smiled and kept her face blank of any indication that she was lying. Vax didn’t need to know that this was a repeated affair and had happened again between the time he had most likely noticed and now. He would blow that out of proportion and Vex’ahlia did not want to have that conversation especially not now. She didn’t want to admit that her feelings for Percy had grown in the time since the Briarwoods. She just wanted her bed. “Emon had been attacked by dragons and I had just died. We both were running high on emotion and it just… happened.”

Vax didn’t look particularly convinced but he wasn’t questioning her. He took a drink before responding. “You understand this will affect the group.”

“It won’t.”

“You can’t believe that, Vex’ahlia. You slept with Percy.” She had slept with Percy four times now, but Vex wasn’t going to add that fact into the conversation. If it hadn’t impacted the group yet, she was pretty positive it wouldn’t. Vax had only noticed when they had both gotten sloppy. Her determination had nothing to do with the fact that she didn’t want to stop this one night repeated affair they had going. 

“It was a one night stand, brother. Don’t worry so much. I’ve dealt with the aftermath and if you’re the only one who noticed, I think it’s safe to say it won’t affect the group. But if you’re not convinced, what about Keyleth?” Vax’s eyes widened as Vex turned this conversation around on him. “How is that relationship going? I’m sure it’s not affecting the group at all. You pining after her with all of Vox Machina being aware and Keyleth being so confused about her own feelings. I’m sure you noticed her panic attack tonight. She’s seemed so overwhelmed lately.”

“Vex’ahlia, I didn’t…”

“Oh, I know,” she smiled. “You can’t judge me and the decisions I’ve made, because you’ve made them too. Now brother, can we not make a scene in the tavern where everyone can see us?” Vax shook his head, but he stood and grabbed his drink again. “Don’t think this gets you out of the conversation we’re going to have about the Raven Queen and what those feathers meant. I heard about it from Scanlan and we are going to talk about it. Just not now.”

“Of course. Love you, Stubby,” Vax turned and headed towards the door.

“Love you too.” Vex’ahlia watched him walk away, feeling both exhausted and very awake at the same time. Once Vax was out of sight, Vex returned to people watching, her eyes catching on Percy who was also sitting alone and drinking. It was strange and probably unwise, but Vex’ahlia desperately to go to him. She reasoned it was due to him falling unconscious during that final bit of the battle, of seeing that black smoke come from him yet again. It was unsettling to see the mark Orthax made on Percival especially when Vex’ahlia was aware that it was not purposefully employed by Percy. It worried her still and her wanting to talk to Percy after that talk with Vax was just that, worry. She had to admit his barrage of attacks on the dragon was strangely attractive, at least before he starting emitting smoke. He was strangely attractive. 

Vex liked him. She liked his tinkering, she liked watching his hands work, she liked his white hair and his glasses, especially when they were slightly askew. Vex gripped her ale tighter, staring down at the table as if it would get rid of these emotions and fears. Vex didn’t do… this. It was easier and simpler when this hadn’t been an issue. When she didn’t feel a strange pull to check on Percy, to ensure he was okay. 

She resolutely stayed sitting where she was for a few minutes more, determined that she would not give into this urge. She had more control than this. It was only when she had finally convinced herself of this that a quiet clearing of someone’s throat once more disturbed her. She looked up to find Percy, hair mussed and mostly empty drink in hand.

“Vex’ahlia, may I sit with you?” Damn that man. When she took too long to respond, Percy continued. “It came to my attention that it is a little ridiculous that we both are drinking alone. We don’t have to talk, but company while drinking is certainly more enjoyable.” They were in the middle of a party. In no way were they drinking alone, but Percy’s conviction was also strangely endearing.

Vex pushed down any emotions she was feeling and smiled. “Percival, of course.”

He sat and the two drank in silence for a few moments, neither looking at the other. It should have felt uncomfortable and at first it did, but they seemed to settle in a comfortable silence. It was nice to be in someone’s company where Vex wasn’t expected to feel the empty space with conversation and where that person didn’t feel the need to talk incessantly. It was Vex who ended up breaking the silence. 

“My brother came to talk to me tonight. I’m sure you saw.” Percy hummed acknowledgement, but didn’t look at her yet. He was focused on his drink. “He asked me how long we had been sleeping together.” That certainly got his attention and Percy looked up at her, his blue eyes suddenly very assessing and on her. “He apparently saw us kissing back at Whitestone and assumed there was more going on. I lied to him. I told him it was just that once and that it wouldn’t happen again. I know this isn’t a relationship. This is just us sleeping together when the emotions are right and falling into bed is easy, but I wanted you to know. I thought you deserved to know.”

Percy didn’t respond immediately. “Is this you telling me that we shouldn’t continue this pattern?”

Vex laughed. “Oh no. No, I think you were right in Whitestone. There’s no harm in our pattern and Vax only thought something was happening because we weren’t being careful that night. No, I most certainly think we should continue this pattern.” She probably shouldn’t have said that, but it was most certainly true.

“Vex’ahlia, I just sat down and here you are trying to seduce me,” Percy’s eyes almost seemed to spark as they watched her.

“Is it working?” She repeated his own words back to him, her own eyes dark and intense.

He didn’t respond immediately taking another drink. “I would say yes, but I don’t know if now is the time and place. We’re very in the open.”

“And the rest of the party is mostly drunk,” Vex argued. “I doubt they’d notice if we both disappeared at the same time. They’ll assume we retired when they notice. Nothing too scandalous, Percival.”

He grinned at her and Vex’ahlia knew she had convinced him. “Let me go get a room.” He stood and made his way over to the bartender. There was no conversation of her also getting a room, he had assumed she’d stay the night. Vex watched him take a key, look back and her and begin to head upstairs. She didn’t wait long before following. The upstairs was much quieter although the music was still audible. Percy had left the door slightly ajar and when she pushed it open and enter, Percy was unbuttoning his shirt. Vex’ahlia flushed at the sight and quickly closer the door behind her. 

He moved towards her and pulled her into a kiss. She almost forgot what she was here for, getting lost in Percival’s kiss until he started dexterously removing her clothes. She didn’t stop from kissing him, letting him rid her of her shirt. It was only afterwards when he started on her pants that Vex’ahlia didn’t let him work alone, intent on ridding him of his own pants and moving them towards the bed. Vex’ahlia fell asleep in his arms, content to stay for the night.

--——--

The Feywild was everything Percy hoped it would be although within a day the group already seemed to find themselves in trouble. It was beautiful and magical and wild. Percy would never have called their group particularly trusting yet the Feywild seemed to pull that out of them, no matter how foolish it was. He had been charmed by the satyr, Gamilie and a deal was struck. They had found their way to Syngorn and faced the twins’ father, they had stolen a hat as part of this deal and now they rested on the edge of the Moonbrush. It had been a day between meeting Syldor and navigating Syngorn in the way only Vox Machina could, by insulting and confusing anyone they came in contact with. 

Percy should have felt bad about their actions in Syngorn, they weren’t exactly proper or left a good impression of the group on the people, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Vex’ahlia had seemed so small the night before when she had asked him if she looked like she came from money, so desperate to demonstrate that she was worth more, to prove them all wrong. Vex’ahlia didn’t look noble because she was Vex’ahlia. She had too much passion, too much happiness, too much anger to ever been seen as noble. She held herself with a strength that could only come from facing down a dragon, she was no noble lady who would faint at the sight of blood. She was so much better than all of that.

Percival seemed continually drawn to her and it terrified him. She was the bravest person he knew and he hated the idea that something like that city and their judgement could make her feel so small. It was then that he decided drastic things would happen. They might not respect Vex’ahlia now, but he could make them. He had the power to make them spare her a second glance and see her worth. It was petty and foolish and all the sa,me Percy wanted to do it. He wanted to make her feel big around the very people who made her feel small her entire life. He knew money didn’t mean anything in the end, but if society chose to favor titles and money, he could give that to her. 

It was why he had titled her in front of her father. He wanted Syldor to give Vex a second glance, to see his daughter as something more. He hadn’t told Vex what he had decided to do, honestly hadn’t decided he was going to do it until they were face to face with Syldor and Vex was about to cry, telling her father she wanted no part of him. Vex’ahlia was strong and Percival was far too fond of her. He knew the statement he was making by titling her. There was a claim in there that none of the group would catch because they weren’t noble. Her father wouldn’t pay any mind to it, because he thought so little of her. The claim said she was his, under his protection as he was from the first noble house of Whitestone. It was the first admittance to himself of his feelings towards her, outwardly at least.

So when Vex’ahlia found him that night in Scanlan’s mansion, Percy wondered for a moment if she knew what it had meant. She was clever, surely she would see past the words to the intent, to the hidden message beneath the action. They had a history together, one that Percy wished was something more.

“Percival,” she smiled and came up to hug him where he stood in the all purpose room, otherwise known as his workshop. This was the first time they had been alone all day. “Walk with me?”

“Where?” He couldn’t deny her. He hadn’t been able to deny her for what seemed like months now.

“Just around the mansion. I don’t exactly trust what lays in wait outside that door and I don’t think either one of us would recognize the danger.” She was probably right and Percy agreed. She took his arm and they began to walk through the mansion. Despite Scanlan summoning the mansion often, there always seemed to be something new that none of them had seen before. He seemed to create rooms on a whim and as they walked, this proved again to be true as they found places they’d never seen. A small temple like room probably for Pike, a room devoted to weapons near the training room. They were silent as they walked, both sparing glances at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Finally, Vex spoke.

“‘Lady Vex’ahlia, Baroness of the Third House of Whitestone and Grand Mistress of the Grey Hunt,’” she looked up at him, catching his gaze. “Percy, I don’t know how to thank you. It’s more than I’ve ever had.”

“It’s only a title. There’s no money attached to it, probably not even a house,” he reminded her. He was pretty sure Scanlan had destroyed that house when they first went to Whitestone.

“Percy,” Vex shook her head. “It’s not about the money or the title. I love the title, I’ve wanted one ever since Vax and I were little and it was clear we meant nothing because we were bastards. I want to thank you for caring enough to…” She gestured with her free hand, misty eyed and cutting herself off. “It’s more than anyone’s ever done for me.”

“You deserve it. You’re the bravest woman I know and no one should ever make you feel small, especially not that asshole,” she laughed wetly, wiping her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she looked away from him. “I don’t like to be this emotional. I hate that man. I hate what he did to us. I hate that city and their judgment just because Vax and I aren’t full elves. I hate how they make me feel!” How she could both sound so upset and so angry and still be the most beautiful woman Percy had ever seen was ridiculous. 

“No one gets to make you feel anything unless you let them,” he told her. “You are better than all of them. All of them, Vex’ahlia. No one can compare to you, don’t forget that.” Vex smiled and nodded and they continued walking.

“I did enjoy meeting your sister,” Percy eventually said. “She was sweet and clearly thinks a lot of you and Vax.”

Vex nodded. “Velora is the sweetest child. I suppose that’s one good thing Syldor has contributed to this world. Vax and I love her very much.” Percy sometimes forgot how much he missed his siblings. Cassandra being alive was a miracle, but he missed his large family. He had spent so long without them, but watching the twins interact with their younger sister brought so many of those memories back. He told her as much and Vex looked interested.

“Percival, you so rarely talk about your family.” She almost seemed to be teasing him, but there was enough genuine interest in her tone that Percy continued to speak.

“For so long my memories of my parents and my siblings were tinged with grief and a need for revenge, I never wanted to share,” he knew she was watching him closely, but he couldn’t look at her. “Since the Briarwoods and finding Cassandra alive, I’ve begun to come back to their memories again. I suppose I’m ready to talk about them again occasionally. I was never supposed to be the head of the de Rolo family in Whitestone. As the third child, there was very little chance I would ever be in charge, but here we are.”

“You’re a good leader, a natural leader,” Vex said. They had come to a stop outside Vex’ahlia’s door. He had been planning on going and working more but Percy didn’t want to leave Vex. He wanted to spend any time she would allow him right now with her. So they stood facing each other. “You’ll do great things.” Vex reached for her door and looked back at him. “Would you like to come in?”

He should say no. With what he did today, this should be a time when he says no and walks away after wishing her goodnight. If he were a stronger man, he would say no, but he was not. “Yes.”

Vex walked in to her room, leaving the door open and assuming he’d follow. Vex’ahlia may not look noble, but she’s assessing and enters places like she’s the most important woman there. He’s travelled long enough with her to recognize it as a shield she puts up for herself, but he can’t help but admire it. She grabs two glasses and pours them a drink from a dark amber liquid she has resting on the dresser in her room. As he enters, she hands him one. It burns when he drinks it, stronger than what he’s used to and has almost a smokey taste. 

“To surviving my father and Syngorn,” Vex’ahlia toasts before downing the drink. She sits on her bed and looks up at him. “If I had more energy tonight, I would try to seduce you.” Percy felt a rush of heat as her dark eyes met his.

“I don’t think it would take much energy,” his mouth was dry and he was far too nervous based on the fact that this was not the first time they had been in this position, nor was it even the third. He set his glass down and walked over to her, standing above her before leaning down and kissing her. She tasted like the alcohol, dark and smokey and Vex. She twisted her hand into his hair and pulled him down onto her. They didn’t talk anymore that night.

He lay there afterwards with Vex’ahlia asleep in his arms and thought of her twin. Vax’ildan had not been impressed with his actions that day, he knew that. Vax knew there was something between him and Vex’ahlia. Vax would wonder what Percy meant in giving her a title. It was a conversation Percy knew he would have and have soon, but he wasn’t sure he cared in that moment, his arm around Vex and sleep slowing claiming him.

—--—

Percival tinkered in his workshop in Whitestone after their return from the Draconia.  Seeing the ruined nation and finding Tiberius’ body had taken its toll on Vox Machina. They had all known that they were going to another people living under the rule of a dragon, but what they had found had somehow seemed bleaker than in Westerunn. In Westerunn, the people were oppressed by the goliaths and rose up against Umbrasyl when given the chance. Draconia was not like that. Percy wondered if going there had been a mistake. 

They may have gained potential allies, but they also gained a deadline for that alliance and they came no closer to any of the remaining Vestiges. Their time was running short. That much had become abundantly clear after the Feywild. They wouldn’t be able to push off fighting the other dragons and Thordak for much longer and that prospect terrified Percy. They had been so close to death so many times. He wanted the opportunity to do so much more than he had, but he supposed that was the sting of death. The things left undone.

Tinkering was how Percy forgot about his worries and his troubles for hours on end. The world seemed much simpler and easier to conquer when he tinkered. He could envision the end of the dragons and Vox Machina’s victory quite easily. It was foolish, but nevertheless, it required his full attention and kept his hands and his mind busy and so Percy tinkered.

It was late into the night before Percy looked up to find Vex’ahlia standing at the doorway. He wasn’t sure how long she had been standing there. She, like her brother, seemed to have the uncanny ability to sneak everywhere although Vax was more skilled at it. She smiled at him when he met her gaze, her dark eyes contemplative and not quite present. She seemed bothered by something, but didn’t move to speak yet. She had dressed down from their activities earlier, taken off her armor for softer, more comfortable clothes but her hair was still braided and the feathers were still in her hair. Vex was leaned up against the wall, an arm wrapped around herself as she watched him.

Percy took off his goggles, wiped his hand across his forehead before realizing it was coated in grease and black powder and turned to clean his hands as he spoke. “Vex’ahlia. I didn’t see you there. I hope you weren’t waiting long for me to notice you.”

“I like watching you work,” Vex responded softly. “I thought about offering to help, but I didn’t want to disturb you and you seemed so content.” So she had been there longer than she was willing to admit.

“Nevertheless, you have my attention. What can I do for you?” Percy turned, black still smudged on his face and his glasses slightly askew. He didn’t notice it, but Vex did.

She paused for several long moments, shifting on her feet and looking towards the ground before looking at him. “Do you ever wonder what the point of all of this is? What the outcome we’re working towards will actually look like?” Percy blinked, unsure what to say, unsure what she meant. She continued, clearly not expecting a response yet. “Percival, we found Tiberius dead. Tiberius was odd and didn’t always seem like he belonged in this group, but he didn’t deserve to die at the hand of a dragon. He was still a part of Vox Machina even if we have been traveling without him for some time. And we weren’t there to protect him. What is the point of all of this if we can’t save the ones we love?”

The question was less about Tiberius even if it had stemmed from him. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’ve wondered that myself. I wondered that after the Briarwoods killed my family, I wondered that each time I’ve watched one of you die. I don’t know. We can’t save everyone, but that seems like an excuse not a reason. I suppose we try our best and hope we save someone’s life and that person can go on and do the same. If we can’t save those we love, maybe we can save someone and affect that person’s life.”

“Life needs things to live,” Vex’ahlia quoted, her voice thick with unshed tears.

Percy groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I’m never living that down, am I?”  Vex shook her head, but smiled. “But it’s true. We fight for life, even if it means we can’t save it all.”

Vex moved towards him as Percy set about cleaning his workspace. He wouldn’t be getting any more work done, not with Vex being there and being distracting. He worked in silence, aware that Vex’ahlia seemed content watching him work. He finally spoke up when he picked up Bad News in order to clean it. He had finally sat down on the bench in his work area watching Vex’ahlia where she stood.

“You seemed more concerned than the others when I came back from the Feywild without my memory,” they hadn’t had this discussion and Percy had been curious since returning. There hadn’t been a moment and this seemed as good as any. It was probably him hoping his growing feelings for her were returned in some way. Foolish.

Vex looked surprised by the change in conversation, but almost seemed to smirk. “Well, Percival, you had given me a title.”

“Which Scanlan then ensured I remembered by modifying my memory,” Percy shot back, focused on his gun. “You were concerned past that.”

Vex’ahlia sighed and Percy looked up at her to see her watching him, an unidentifiable look in her eye. “You had done so much for me in the Feywild, stood up for me in a way only Vax had before. I didn’t want to be the only one to remember those conversations. I wanted them to mean something, Percival. You seemed oddly embarrassed with however Scanlan modified your memory, and no, I really don’t want to know, but the title was only part of everything you did for me.”

Percy set down the gun and stood up to walk over to her. He took her hand in his. He didn’t like being a source of Vex’s unhappiness. He wanted to make her laugh, bring her joy in whatever way he could, even if it was as simple as crafting for her. “I am sorry. I am so grateful Pike was able to restore my memories. The Feywild was spectacular and was everything I had hoped it would be, but I’ve found that the memories I’m most happy to have back are the one’s of you. Our conversations especially.” Vex looked like she was about to cry again, but before she could speak, Percy leaned down and kissed her.

It didn’t feel like an accident anymore, hadn’t felt like one since the first few times. To some extent, it felt like coming home. This was their patten, for better or for worst and will all of the shit the world had thrown at them, Percy was determined to hold onto it for as long as Vex would let him. He considered directing them up to her room or his room, but he had spent so many nights in the workshop that there was a makeshift cot made up for him down here. He knew no one would disturb him. No one but Vex ever seemed to come looking for him when he was tinkering any more anyway. They fell onto the cot together, their clothes strewn across the floor of his workshop in an almost careless manner. Percy was grateful for the warmth of his forge and the warmth of Vex’ahlia as he was lulled to sleep, pressing a kiss to her crown before letting sleep claim him.

———

Percy didn’t remember dying, not really. He remembered everything going black and falling unconscious after a blow from Orthax and he felt the departure of his soul from his physical body a few moments later. Well, felt wasn’t exactly the right word. He felt unanchored for a few moments before not being aware of anything. He only became aware again when Orthax stopped him from continuing to the other side. 

Percy assumed that’s what Orthax had done. He hadn’t been looking forward to passing to the judgement of the gods, he had done so many foolish and horrible things in his life time, but in comparison, their judgement would have been a mercy.  He had tried to fight Orthax at first, lacking his physical form and his guns, Percy had swung wildly with his spirit form, but found his blows inconsequential to the demon. He had curled up into himself after realizing the effect of Orthax on him was far worse than anything he could inflict himself. He hoped for the end, lacking a voice to cry out with, the scream with the pain his soul felt as Orthax feasted on him. Perhaps this is what he deserved. No peace, only pain. 

Percy didn’t remember much of the ritual that brought him back to the living, that much was true. He remembered Keyleth’s words, struck by how much of a friend Keyleth had become, how much she’d grown, how much of a leader Keyleth now was. He remembered the light of Saerenrae, golden and calling to him. Pike. And he remembered Vex’s words. He wouldn’t tell Vex that, but he heard her and he knew above all, it had been her that had called him back. For the first time, Percival hoped that her words meant she felt the same. That his foolish feelings were not only wanted, but returned. He could never say no to Vex, not even in death.

Perhaps Percy had been a coward for not finding Vex’ahlia in Whitestone after that, but after coming back from the dead he was surprisingly exhausted and the morning brought Raishan and the quick turn around to planning the fight against Vorugal. He shouldn’t have gone to find her the night before their fight against Vorugal, he had every intention of not finding her, but Vex’ahlia had very different plants.

He was tinkering, less with a goal in mind, but rather as a means to keep his hands busy and his mind distracted from the fight ahead of him. The door was slightly ajar as Percy had seen no real reason to close it, so few people came looking for him when he was tinkering anyways. It meant that he was surprised when he turned and Vex’ahlia was standing in the doorway, watching him work.

He smiled, unable to ignore how his heart seemed to beat faster at seeing her. Her expression was unreadable, but her gaze softened when he met it. Percy held her gaze for a few moments, before turning back to his work. He didn’t say anything and neither did Vex, but without him saying anything, Vex’ahlia sat beside him and, like she had before, began to help him with his tinkering.

They didn’t talk while they worked. He would ask for a certain tool or ask her to hold something, but there was no conversation they were having. Percy wondered if she had come for the same reason he had sat outside her door in Whitestone after she had died. It was a comfort thing, to have seen someone you care about deeply die and then come back was difficult. It made one a little more paranoid than usual for the first few weeks. There was a comfort to simply knowing that the person was alive and breathing. Percy also thought he was being far too hopeful for his own feelings. No matter what Vex had said and no matter how he felt, their relationship would stand as it was. He was okay with that, at least that’s what he told himself.

They didn’t finish the project he was amusing himself with, although he ended up much farther along that he had dared hope. Still, Vex’ahlia didn’t offer an explanation on why she was here and Percy didn’t ask. He didn’t need to know. Over the past few weeks, they had gone through so many death or near death experiences, it was nice to enjoy someone’s company without talking about the realities of their situation. There was the constant threat of death by dragon, even before that there was the task laid before them to defeat the very same dragons. 

So Vex’ahlia and Percy walked towards their rooms in silence, hands brushing occasionally as they walked. Percy spared fleeting glances towards Vex when he thought she wasn’t looking, taking in her dark, braided hair, her intense dark eyes focused ahead of them, how she moved with such grace but at the same time demanding the attention of everyone in their path. He knew he was falling in love with her. He knew he had already fallen in love with her, had lost that battle a long time ago, but had ignored it for so long. Percy thought that maybe he could pin his feelings towards Vex’ahlia to her death. That was the moment that things had changed, when he realized that this one night stand thing wasn’t what he wanted. 

They reached Vex’s door first, turning to face each other, but neither saying anything yet. Vex broke the silence. “Have a drink with me?” It is oddly reminiscent of the time after the Feywild, but this time Percy doesn’t hesitant in his agreement.

She smiles, opens the door and pours him a drink. She hands it to him as he enters and closes the door. “I’m glad you’re alive, Percy.” It’s quiet and very un-Vex, but Percy understands the sentiment.

“Me too,” he takes a drink. “Death was… unpleasant.” He doesn’t want to talk about that. He doesn’t want to talk about Orthax, not now. Vex seems to understand that and doesn’t pursue that conversation further. She looks hesitant for a moment, like there’s something she very much want to say, but then she smiles, takes another drink and says nothing.

“We fight a dragon tomorrow,” Vex muses offhandedly. “That won’t be a secret from Thordak for long.”

“We are certainly working on a very tight deadline. Whitestone has been safe so far, but I fear that it won’t remain so,” Percy ran a hand through his hair. “Even with the magic protection from Allura and Gilmore, it can’t stay safe forever.” Whitestone would always be his home and Percy had only just regained it. He didn’t like putting the town and its people and Cassandra in danger.

Vex opened her mouth to speak, but then seemed to think better of it, placing her drink down and grabbing his as well. “Percival, we might be dead tomorrow.” She kissed him after that. He probably should have been surprised by this turn of events, but it seemed so natural as Vex made quick work of his clothes. Vex seemed softer, seemed more unsure of herself than she had been, being more gentle than she had been in previous encounters.

The next day would come too soon and Percy wondered how long he could keep this. He wondered if he was making a mistake in not pursuing something more if they all could be dead tomorrow. At least she was his and he was hers for the night.

--——--

In every encounter that Percy and Vex had had of the sexual nature, there had never been any talk the morning after. They no longer slipped away in the night, afraid of being discovered, but any actual conversation they had normally was before the sex. Vex had appreciated this boundary. It defined their relationship as strictly sexual. There were no feelings involved and that had been okay. For a while, at least.

Except Vex knew that there were feelings involved. She had fallen in love with Percy. It had been slow and Vex hadn’t realized it until it was almost too late. It had happened sometime between them starting to sleep together and Percy dying. She had avoided the realization for a long time, knew that admitting it would mean that whatever she and Percy had would have to change. After the fight with Vorugal, after Percy’s kiss in the woods, his promise of later, Vex began to hope that her feelings were returned. She had wondered. She wondered if her confession had brought Percy back, but had dismissed that as giving herself too much credit. She wondered if he had begun to seek out her company, make her things, because he liked her, maybe even loved her.

Still, they didn’t talk after sex until this morning. Percy had come to her room bringing alcohol and Courage and Vex’ahlia had been tempting. She hadn’t hidden her attempt to seduce him, opening the door naked revealed her intentions quite clearly and Percy certainly hadn’t complained. Vex didn’t want to play the game they had for so long. The dancing around each other leading to sex. No, this time she wanted to rupture the pattern. She knew they probably should have talked before, but maybe she wanted the opportunity to sleep with him once more like they had before everything changed. Things would change after the later conversation. Vex wasn’t expecting everything to change for the worst, but there was something about this pattern that Vex’ahlia would miss.

Percy looked adorably mussed as he woke up gradually. He blinked blearily at her, his white hair wild and his eyes not completely focused. This was why Vex liked waking up before him. She liked watching him find her face, to watch the happy expression cross his face before he realized that she was awake and watching him and he should try to be more discreet, more Percival, lord of Whitestone.

It took Percy a few moments, his expression shifting to being very confused about why he was currently awake before he finally spoke. “Good morning, dear.” Percy seemed to be of the opinion that being up early when nothing required his immediate attention was a travesty. 

“Percival, darling,” Vex smiled. “I believe this is later.” She probably should have waited, but Vex was afraid that if she put this off, it would never happen. He had just woken up, this was probably not an early morning conversation, but Vex didn’t care. Nothing about their relationship had ever been normal. Why should it start now? Percy suddenly seemed more awake, more aware of her. He reached over to the night stand, grabbing his glasses and propped himself up on his elbows. He was still mussed from sleep, but there was a new focus.

“The later talk.” Vex suddenly felt very exposed and nervous in a way that she had no right to feel. She had a fairly good idea of where this conversation was going to go and she had slept with Percy many times. She shouldn’t be nervous.

Percy seemed to feel the same way as he cleared his throat and didn’t look right in her eyes when he began to speak again. “I’ve been thinking about us.” He paused, taking a breath and thinking for a moment before continuing. “Vex, the first time we slept together, we both swore that it didn’t mean anything and it wouldn’t happen again. Despite both of our intentions, we have fallen into a pattern of sorts and I’ve realized that I want it to mean something. I’ve been falling in love with you since the first moment I saw you and perhaps this evolution of my feelings was inevitable. Vex’ahlia, you care deeply for your family, both blood and found. You protect people with a passion I have envied for some time. Some would call you greedy or, at least, materialistic, but you know the value of things and hold that worth as important. Vex, I’m in love with you.” 

Vex had hoped this would be the conversation Percy wanted to have. She had attempted to prepare herself for it, but here in the moment Vex’ahlia felt almost overwhelmed. She felt all these emotions all at once and she didn’t know what to say. “Percy,” that was a good start. “I tried for so long to ignore my growing feelings, but I watched you die and I realized that I didn’t know what the point of it was. Why should I hide how I feel if losing you will hurt just as much. Percival Fredrickstein von Musel Klossowski de Rolo III, I love you and I want to be able to seduce you without questioning if you feel the same way, without feeling like we have to hide this relationship from the group. I want you for as long as you will have me.”

Percy laughed and pulled her close to kiss her. Vex hummed and melted into the white-haired human. When the broke apart, Vex looked at him seriously, “I hope you realize we are telling no one about us not having our shit figured out. We both have a self image to protect and I do not want any comparison to Vax and Keyleth’s relationship.”

“Oh, of course not, dear,” Percy smiled. “It’ll be our secret.”

Vex knew the rest of Vox Machina should be told, she should probably tell Vax before anyone else. Their relationship would change things but it wouldn’t necessarily be a surprise to the group. Vax had already been encouraging her to pursue something with Percy. There were still dragons to defeat and the orb of death to figure out and the completion of so many tasks that the group had let pile up over the past few months. In those few moments that morning, Vex let herself forget about all those problems because none of them seemed quite as daunting when she looked at Percy and hoped for the future they might have together. She was sure their pattern of sorts would continue but it wouldn’t be the same. Now she was encouraged to seduce Percival because he was hers and she was his for as long as they would have one another. Maybe it had always been this way and all the later conversation accomplished was the conveyance of that revelation.