Chapter Text
The library was a quiet place, far from any of the other gamblers in the school. It was the perfect place for her. Sayaka was alone. The solitude helped her focus. The large textbook in front of her was open and dark eyes read each word carefully as her mind absorbed the information. This was her place. No one else bothered to come here. She was the only person in this school who really cared about her grades. At least, that’s what they thought.
She didn’t care about being number one. If it was up to her, she’d be an average student with average grades better than passing but not extraordinary. She wished she didn’t have to study all the time. She still hated gambling but at least she didn’t have to do all this work. Her parents were strict. She understood they only wanted what was best for her but she felt as if she no longer had a life of her own. Everything she did was for them. So much pressure was on her. Be the perfect daughter. Be the perfect student. Anything less would be disappointing.
She was so fixated on the book that she didn’t hear the doors open. It wasn’t until someone sat across from her did she realize there was someone else in the room. Sayaka looked up to see the last person she expected. Ikishima Midari. She’s heard about her but they’d never spoken before. Slightly insane, impolite, definitely the kind of person her parents would disapprove of. Sayaka watched, peeved, as Midari propped a leg on the table. She wearing a skirt no less. Sayaka coughed as she averted her gaze.
“Can I help you?” Sayaka asked courteously.
She was extremely tempted to just ignore her but she wasn’t raised to be bad mannered.
“Oh it’s nothin’,” Midari replied. “I’m just bored.”
Sayaka hummed absentmindedly before concentrating on the book again. It wasn’t even five minutes until she heard rhythmic tapping coming from the other end of the table. She looked back up to see Midari swinging her head back and forth. Her index fingers imitated drumsticks as she continued to… Sayaka wasn’t exactly sure what she was doing. She wouldn’t call it dancing, Midari was just sitting down. Still, she was displeased this girl came and interrupted her study time. Even from across the table, Sayaka could faintly hear music coming from Midari’s headphones. She couldn’t exactly make it out but she knew it had a fast tempo.
Midari suddenly opened her eyes. Sayaka flushed as she was caught staring. She buried her head into her book again.
“You wanna listen?” Midari asked her.
Sayaka felt her face heat up more. “N-No thank y-you. I-I’m alright.”
Sayaka heard the chair being pushed back. She relaxed slightly. Now that Midari was leaving, she could enjoy the peace and quiet again.
She was startled when something went over her head and covered her ears. The music was loud. Very loud. Fearing she would go deaf, Sayaka tore it off so that the headphones now hung around her neck. Tiny music could be heard faintly. She looked up at Midari curiously.
“W-Why did youㅡw-what wasㅡ” Sayaka stuttered. She couldn’t get her head around it for some reason. No one had ever done something like that before. She didn’t know how to react.
“You looked like you needed to relax,” Midari stated simply. “The best way to do that is music.”
Sayaka stared at her, still confused. Midari stared back. It was like both of them were trying to understand how the other worked. Finally Midari spoke up.
“Do you even listen to music?”
Sayaka was offended. “Of course I do. I take piano lessons.”
“I meant real music.”
“That is real music.”
Midari shrugged. “It’s the boring kind of music.” She tugged the headphones still around Sayaka’s neck. “ This is real music. Try it.”
Sayaka looked at her skeptically.
“Geesh, it’s not like I embedded it with spikes or anything, though that would be a good idea,” she added quietly.
Sayaka looked at her dubiously before putting the headphones back on, this time slowly.
Her ears were filled with the loud banging of drums, the strong strum of the guitar, and a powerful voice. It made her head rattle.
“Can you turn this down?” she asked. She more like screamed it.
Midari got out her phone and turned down the volume just right. Sayaka listened carefully. It was so different from the soft sounds of an orchestra or the refined sound of the piano. The contrast was so great yet it was refreshing. It was messy yet coordinated. She didn’t think music could be anything like this. There was no need to be precise, no need for elegance or grace. No one was there to watch and criticize every note. There was just sound. And the lyrics. Sayaka doesn’t think she’s ever been touched like this before. It’s like she could relate to something for once.
I am machine
I never sleep
I keep my eyes wide open
I am machine
A part of me
Wishes I could just feel something
I am machine
I never sleep
Until I fix what’s broken
I am machine
A part of me
Wishes I could just feel something
Before she knew it, Sayaka had listened to countless songs. Midari helped her and made her listen to almost every song on her phone. She even grabbed Sayaka’s phone and listed down songs that she recommended.
Sayaka left school later than usual. Maybe her run in with Midari was a blessing in disguise.
Sayaka walked through the front door.
“Sayaka, is that you?” a female voice called from the kitchen.
“Yes, mom,” Sayaka replied. “I was in the library and lost track of time.”
That wasn’t a lie.
“Oh, that’s alright. You’re home now. Dinner will be ready in an hour.
Sayaka went to her room and closed the door behind her. She opened up her computer and went to YourTube. She didn’t use it often, only when she needed help on how to do something. The homepage was filled with math tutorials and piano pieces. She opened the list Midari made and put in her earbuds. She didn’t need her parents knowing she listened to this kind of music. It was loud and most of all, it was vulgar. The themes of sex, drugs, and depression were so far from the world of perfection she was raised in. She was a little young for this but she was mature for her twelve years of age. She wanted to explore more.
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Several months after Midari introduced her to this new music, they had become friends. While Sayaka wasn’t totally comfortable with everything she did, there was something refreshing about Midari’s personality. Not having to care about anything was freeing. Sayaka kept their relationship hidden from her parents. If they knew she was spending time with a delinquent like Midari, all hell would break loose. She was nice though. Sure she could be a little wild, but for the most part, Midari treated her well. They supported each other. Sayaka needed the most support with coming to terms with her sexuality. What would her parents think about that?
Midari herself was pansexual. She didn’t really care who it was as long as she got pleasure from them. Sayaka on the other hand was definitely a lesbian. There was no doubt about it.
“What do you think of him?” Midari asked. “He’s hot right?”
They were in the library again. This became their place. The dusty books and quiet atmosphere tended to discourage people from entering. Midari had a picture of a lead singer pulled up on her phone.
“I-I don’t know,” Sayaka replied.
She’d never spoken to anyone about attraction before and she was too immersed in her books to notice people.
‘Hmm,” Midari hummed. She took back her phone and pulled up another picture, this time of a female lead singer. “How about her?”
Sayaka took one look and blushed lightly. It was barely noticeable but Midari was paying very close attention to Sayaka’s reaction.
“Oh,” she said. “I-I guess so? I don’t know. She’s really pretty.”
For the rest of their time Midari continued to show Sayaka pictures of girls.
“You’re definitely gay,” Midari announced at the end.
Sayaka looked at her wide eyed. “W-What?”
“I said you’re gay. Like extrememly gay.”
Sayaka turned red. Well, that was unexpected. She covered her face as Midari laughed even when Sayaka begged her to stop.
Now she has more secrets to keep from her parents but it’s not like she did anything illegal.
There was a school trip. Sayaka had gotten the permission slip signed the day she got it. It was supposed to be a week long trip to a historical museum but they had to take a plane. They extended the trip so that the students could enjoy some time at an amusement park and some casinos.
Sayaka was planning to turn in the slip first thing in the morning. She was walking through the gate when an arm was slung over her shoulder. Sayaka stumbled as Midari’s weight was suddenly transferred onto her.
“Oi, Sayaka,” she yawned. “You’re going on the trip right?”
“Y-Yes,” she answered. “Why?”
Midari’s eyes lit up instantly. “Good ‘cause we’re not going.”
Sayaka eyed her friend. “What do you mean?”
Midari reached into her pocket and took out two crumpled slips of paper. Sayaka took them as they were handed over.
Warped Tour
“What’s the Warped Tour?”
Sayaka yelped as she was grabbed by the shoulders and Midari’s face was right in hers.
“You don’t know?”
She shook her head and fixed her glasses. Was she supposed to?
“It’s only one of the greatest music festivals in history,” Midari raved. “A bunch of bands are gonna be there.”
Sayaka’s eyes widened at what Midari was implying.
“Midari I can’t. My parents will kill me,” she argued.
“Your parents think you’re on a field trip. Come on. It’ll be fun.”
Midari could see the conflict on Sayaka’s face.
“Just think,” Midari grabbed her shoulders again. “Just the two of us. No parents. No teachers. You and me out of the country for a week.”
“Out of the country?” Sayaka blurted.
“Yeah. I already got us tickets to Clifornia.”
“Midari, this is crazy.”
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No matter how crazy the thought was, Sayaka found herself on a plane to California. She let Midari take the window seat. She couldn’t believe she let Midari talk her into this. She checked and quadruple checked all their luggage. She was so tense. The whole time she waited for the police to come and take her home but that never happened. She took another deep breath.
“Calm down,” Midari told her. “Everything’s fine. You’ll come home safe and sound and your parents would be none the wiser.”
Even with those words, Sayaka was still apprehensive. Still, she couldn’t help but feel the thrill of breaking the rules. Being perfect all the time could be tiring.
They landed in California a few hours later. Sayaka stretched after being seated for so long. They stepped out into the hot sun. The scorching rays burned her skin. It’s a good thing she brought sun block.
Midari hailed a cab and they were on their way to a hotel. They got many questioning looks. Two preteens all by themselves coming out of the airport was strange already. Checking into a motel got them several suspicious looks. Even so, no one bothered them. Midari and Sayaka shared a room. Two small beds took up most of the space and there was one bathroom for them to use. It was just right for them. They even got free breakfast every morning.
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The concert was two days after they arrived. They took the time to look at the city they were in. Sayaka enjoyed going to the bookstores and museums. Midari got piercings. Sayaka stayed with her as she got two studs to below the right side of her mouth and one on her tongue. Sayaka wasn’t as brave. Even just watching made her turn away. Midari laughed at her for that. She asked Sayaka if she wanted a piercing to but she profusely declined. The last thing she needs is her parents scolding her when she comes back.
When the day of the concert arrived, Midari took charge of dressing Sayaka. She undid the braids, made her wear her contacts, and did her makeup. Sayaka saw a completely different person when she looked in the mirror. Her hair was down for once and the makeup was dark. It irked her somewhat but she kept it since Midari already did it. The clothes Midari prepared for her were more revealing than she was used to. The short shorts and tank top fit comfortably but it took some getting used to.
Sayaka was in charge of their things. She prepared a checklist for everything. Water, sunblock, earplugs, snacks, and sunglasses. They were pretty prepared thanks to her. What Sayaka didn’t think of was the amount of people there. They were all so much taller than her. And older too. Most were probably in their late teens to mid twenties. Sayaka was intimidated to say the least. She held on securely to Midari who led them to the front. Sayaka looked at her, surprised.
“What? Of course I got the front row seats,” she had said.
Sayaka wasn’t used to being in such a place. Everyone was in close proximity and it was hot. The smell wasn’t the greatest and she needed a bath after. Overall, the concert was fun. Several bands played and she might not have known all the songs but she still had a blast. Midari made her to dance for the first time and Sayaka learned to forget all the worries in those several hours. As she moved and spun to the music, she felt relaxed for the first time. It was like a high. She felt like she could lose herself and she did.
They laughed about it later that night. Sayaka was towel drying her hair as they were talking. They were both exhausted but it was worth it.
“I didn’t know you could dance like that,” Midari complimented.
Sayaka blushed. “I didn’t know either.”
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They came home tan and exhilarated. Like Midari had said, her parents were none the wiser.
Once in a while, Sayaka would secretly come over Midari’s house and they’d have their own dance party in her room. Those were the only times she felt free.