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“This isn’t quite how I imagined doing this.”
She looked up just in time to see Rose pause as she pulled herself onto the exam table.
“It’s not…” she continued, before she trailed off. “I don’t know.”
Rose licked her lips. If Luisa didn’t know her as well as she did, she wouldn’t have picked on the tell - she was nervous.
“You thought about doing this?” Rose asked.
Luisa sighed. “Sometimes.”
“Why?”
She scoffed. “God, Rose. Why do you think? Because I love you.”
“But,” Rose said slowly. “This was never an option.”
“I know that,” she said sharply. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t think about what it would be like. I was an O/B for ten years, it’s kind of unavoidable.”
“You thought about it with me?”
Luisa tilted her head to the side with a glare. “Are you being purposefully obtuse?”
“I’m just surprised is all.”
She stood, sliding her palms along Rose’s thighs, more to comfort herself than anything else. “You know, for some people it’s not strange to think about things like getting married to the person you love.”
Rose opened her mouth, but Luisa cut her off. “I know, you would marry me in a heartbeat, you should have married me before this happened, I know. But that’s not it. It’s...sometimes I think it would be nice to be able to have a family.”
The redhead was silent for a moment. “Would this be a bad time for me to point out that that’s technically what we’re doing?”
Luisa dropped her head forward. “ Yes. ” She slumped back onto the stool behind her. “Do you really think that this is the same thing?”
Rose looked down at her. “No. But isn’t the outcome the same?”
“And what’s the outcome?”
“A baby?”
“Is that a question, or?” Luisa said. “Do I need to explain how this works?”
“Lu, come on.”
“No, Rose, you come on,” she replied. “Me being snuck into the prison hospital to inseminate you is not the same as us choosing to do this together. This isn’t having a baby. This is an escape attempt.”
“Can't it be both?” Rose asked.
Luisa groaned. “Just forget I ever said anything.”
Rose pushed herself from the bed and stood in front of her. Tentatively, she reached forward and ran her hand through Luisa’s hair. “No. I understand.”
The brunette sighed. “No, you don’t.”
“Fine, maybe I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try and make it better for you.”
Sliding her fingers across Luisa’s cheek and rubbing her thumb along her bottom lip, she continued, “I love you too, you know.”
Luisa gave a half-hearted smile. “I know.”
“And I know that that also makes your life hard, sometimes.”
She let out a humorless chuckle. “You think?”
Rose dropped her hand to her side, her frustration evident. “Luisa, I don’t know what you want to hear right now.”
She shook her head. “Nothing, I don’t want to hear anything. It just gets to me sometimes.”
The redhead just stared down at her. Luisa gnawed at her lip. “I didn’t even get to help pick the donor.”
“Yes, you did,” Rose replied, her forehead wrinkling in confusion.
“No, I didn’t.”
“You did.”
“I didn’t.”
“Luisa, you did.”
“Rose, I didn’t. Is this like that time you were so sure that you had talked to me about going to Spain?”
“I did talk to you about going to Spain, it’s not my fault if you don’t listen.”
Luisa stood. “Okay, first of all, no you didn’t. Second of all, I do nothing but listen to you.”
“Oh like listening to me when I said we shouldn’t come back here? Or that Rafael was lying?”
Luisa’s voice dropped, unnervingly quiet, seething, her eyes steely. “Do you really think this is the best time to bring that up?”
Rose didn’t answer, her face stony.
“See?” Luisa added, gesturing around her. “Not exactly a fairy tale, is it?”
Rose took a step back, walking away from her. “It’s never been a fairy tale.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Luisa asked.
Rose’s face softened ever so slightly. “I think you know it better than I do. I never expected my life to be a fairy tale.”
Luisa sighed. “Neither did I. Then I met you. And suddenly wanted the fairy tale.”
Rose gave a small nod, then, quietly, “You did help pick the donor, Lu.”
Luisa started to roll her eyes, but Rose jumped in. “I’m not just saying that because I need to be right - I mean I am right, but I’m saying it because you need to know.”
“Rose,” she started, her voice tired.
“I sent you the picture,” Rose responded.
“What picture?”
“I told you that I thought he had your eyes.”
A flicker of recognition flared in the back of Luisa’s mind. “Wait. I didn’t - that’s why you sent that picture?”
“Yeah, why else would I have sent it?” Rose asked, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
“It was an Esquire model!”
“So?”
She didn’t know if she wanted to laugh or cry. “How was I supposed to know that’s what you meant? I just thought you missed me!”
“I always miss you, what does that have to do with anything?”
“I thought it was that thing where you miss someone but you see them everywhere you go? You know?” Luisa explained.
Rose paused. “No. I thought he had as close to your eyes as I could get without finding a way to get sperm out of you, so I sent it to you.”
A realization hit Luisa. “Wait - that’s actually the donor?”
“Yes?”
“How?”
Rose gestured to herself. “Mastermind.”
“Right, of course, can’t get yourself out of prison, but you can get an Esquire model to give you his sperm?”
“I am using that sperm to get myself out of prison.”
“How much did you pay him?” Luisa asked.
“Nothing.”
Luisa raised an eyebrow.
“I paid for shipping.”
“There’s no way that’s all.”
“I’m not exactly unattractive. Men tend to like me.”
“Now that I don’t like,” Luisa replied.
Rose smirked.
“Don’t look so proud. He could be an idiot.”
“No, I verified,” the redhead replied. “He has a masters in Forensic Anthropology. He’s also oddly charitable - donates money, volunteers. I remember you saying back when you were still practicing that you never understood why people just picked donors for their looks, that they should look for things like kindness. I don’t really understand it, but I know it’s important to you, so-”
“Wait,” Luisa cut her off. “How - he - what ?”
“I thought you would want him to be kind.”
Luisa stared at Rose for a moment. “So let me get this straight. You made an incredibly important decision for me without consulting me but in the sweetest possible way?”
“I wouldn’t put it quite that way, but…”
The redhead looked at her, doing her best to keep vulnerability in check. Luisa could feel tears welling up in her eyes and blinked rapidly. This was the side of Rose that only she saw - the one that could love, the one that did love her.
Taking two steps forward, Luisa pulled Rose toward her, taking her lips in a deep kiss. Rose’s hands came up to hold Luisa’s cheeks, relaxing into her touch. When they pulled apart, panting, Luisa murmured, “Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Do it as in sex? Or do it as in…?”
“It is my experience,” Luisa said between kisses, “as a medical professional that insemination has a much higher success rate if performed while in a state of arousal.”
“I like Dr. Alver,” Rose grinned.
“I know you do.”
“How mad would you have been if I’d jokingly told you that the donor was Rafael?” Rose murmured against her lips.
“I’m going to need you to be quiet.”