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He brushed a hand along the soft cloth chair he sat on. He ran his hands along the fabric, focusing on the feel of the textile. He hummed, and focused on the vibrations it made in his throat.
Satisfied, he looked down at the book in his hands. An old favorite bedtime story. He’d read it front to cover so many times before. He practically had it memorized. His eyes drifted over and around the page. He shook his head, feeling the way his hair swayed and moved against his neck. He peered closer at the page, focusing on the words flowing in crisp ink.
The child of the sky was a wanderer. Day and night he flew from place to place, his footsteps light along the clouds.
Once upon a time he walked a path. It was one he had followed since his birth. His feet strayed, however, for he knew he was destined for more. There were those who told him he was wrong, who told him to silence his voice. The sky child did not yet know his worth, but he knew there was much that was needed to be done.
One day the child of sky found a home, and knew it to be right where he was needed, and so he ended his search.
The child of sky would at times look back to his earlier days, and at times he would have doubt, filled with the memories of those who tried to snuff out his fire. But his doubt would evaporate, for he knew none could steal the light within him.
And each day, when the morning arose, he would look out unto the skyline and embraced the one so dear to him. The blue of his grey ocean. The dawn of a new day, free from pain and worry. His beloved wife. And so the child of sky had his own children, and they theirs.
He closed the book. He could feel the small smile that stretched across his face. Though a bit hard to read at times like these, he still loved the old childhood book that his mother once read to him. He ran a thumb along the edge of the book, the pages soft and worn. Even after his mother’s passing, he read the book on hard nights.
He felt envious of the boy in the story, the boy so confident his inner fire couldn't be snuffed out.
He closed his eyes and let out a light sigh. He basked in the warm morning sunlight. He took a deep breath of sky air, the air of his home. A hint of a chill, but one he was so very familiar with.
Home.
He heard her before he saw her.
“ Link! Are you awake yet, sleepyhead?” Zelda’s soft voice drifted along the breeze.
Ah, yes, that’s right. He remembered, Zelda let him sleep in this morning. How very thoughtful of her.
She crashed into his room. There was a small smear of mud on her cheek and her hands were dirty.
“Planting flowers again?” He asked.
She grinned. It was such a radiant sight, his heart lifted even higher than that of Skyloft. Her dress was a simple one, plain and ragged. It was sturdy though, and something she didn’t mind gardening in.
She winked, and then flung herself onto him. He laughed, not caring about the dirt she smeared onto his clothes. He stood and spun her around, lifting her feet off the floor. She giggled, her voice the purest music his ears had ever heard.
“ What do you say we go flying, Link? I miss your loftwing, I haven’t seen him in so long!”
He nodded, agreeing immediately. He missed his loftwing too. It had been ages since he’s seen the regal bird…
Zelda wrapped her hands around his. The were so soft, caked in dirt but free from calluses. She lead him outside the house skipping beside him.
Hand in hand, they kicked off into the sky, leaving Skyloft behind them. With a great caw, his beloved loftwing caught the two of them.
Zelda sat securely behind him, her hands latched tightly onto his side, her face nestled into the crook of his neck.
He bid his loftwing to fly fasted, and so the bird did. The thrill of speed washed over him, laughter bursting free from his lungs.
Time had no meaning as he savored the flight. He closed his eyes and focused on the feel of Zelda, of the speed, and of the soft sun caressing his skin.
An eternity later, or perhaps a few moments later, he saw the dark storm cloud in the distance. He watched as it spread across the sky. Unwillingly he could feel the pit forming in his stomach. His mind and smile stayed light, though. He knew he was in no true danger.
He turned to face Zelda. She had the very same sad smile on her face. “ I suppose our time tonight is over once again. ”
He smiled back. “Thanks for keeping me company. I miss you.”
She pecked his cheek, and then she fell from his loftwing.
He knew if he stayed it would be pointless. He patted his loftwing. “I’ll see you next time,” he whispered.
And then Sky woke.
He heart beat and his stomach was filled with dread, but this was nothing new. He kept his breathing even, allowing his mind to calm his body.
The buzzing in his limbs told him that he wasn’t awake yet, though. Not fully.
He heard the chimes begin. There were many things he would hear or feel during a time like this, but the chimes were the worst. He knew how they ended.
He struggled, trying to move. His arms or his fingers, his legs or his toes. A shutter or a twitch.
Nothing. He couldn’t move.
The paralysis was familiar, but that didn’t stop the fear that began to worm through his body.
The chimes would sound peaceful, if he didn’t know what was coming.
He struggled again, trying to at least open his eyes.
He failed. He failed in the worst possible way.
He looked through the darkness and saw. His eyelids still refused to move, but the white motes of light bubbled into existence around him. Sacred Tears.
Then the clanging began.
Quiet for now, but slowly getting louder. Getting closer.
His eyes began to dart around the dark clearing in panic. He couldn’t move, couldn’t run.
Then he saw it. A Fruit of Light. Something that would put the guardians to sleep, something that would save him.
The clanging grew louder.
The fruit was right by his hand. Only inches away. Inches . If he could just wiggle his fingers, he could touch it!
The clanging grew closer.
Anything, any muscle, if he could just move !
Then he saw it.
The great hulking guardian. The massive white-and-gold creature was taking slow lumber steps, zeroing in on him.
Clang. Clang. Clang.
He willed himself to move. To grab grab the fruit. To run. To do anything .
His heart beat faster, but still he could not move.
A cold hand clamped down on the back of his neck. He couldn’t turn his head to see. He could feel and smell the rotten breath rasping beside his ear.
“ You have failed me, ” Zelda’s voice rang through his soul. Her voice was cruel and unfeeling, a corrupted caricature of the Zelda he knew and loved.
The guardian was before him. It’s weapon raised high.
“Ngh!”
Sky crumpled forward, movement restored. His eyes burst open as his arm flung to his side for a weapon, any weapon.
Sight of the orange campfire-lit clearing bloomed before him, the visage of the Sacred Tears and the Guardian erased.
He stood immediately, shaking the numbness from his arms and legs. He knew if he stayed where he had been, propped up against a tree, he could very easily slip right back into the paralysis.
A glance at the skyline showed him the setting sun. Evening, then.
The sound of clapping brought his attention back to the clearing.
“Well would’ya look at that! For once I don’t even need to wake you, you’re already awake!” Warrior said, approaching Sky. “The smell of dinner wake you?” Warrior continued to clap.
Sky shook the remaining cobwebs from his mind. The fatigue remained, but that was nothing new. “How can anyone sleep through Wild’s cooking?” Sky said with an easy smile. “Is it almost ready?”
A cheer from around the cookpot informed Sky that dinner was indeed now ready.
Sky joined the others, accepting a bowl from Wild. He focused on the heat seeping through the bowl into his hands. He ran a finger around the rim of the wooden bowl, tracing the grain of the wood.
He took a spoonful of the stew and hummed in delight at the taste. He made sure to savor each bite.
When dinner was finished, Sky let his shoulders slump as he relaxed against a log, the chatter of others rolling over him. He focused on their voices as he ran the fabric of his sailcloth between his fingers.
Anything to ground him in reality.
He wasn’t sure when he dozed off. His sleep was dreamless though. It was short, too.
“Your turn for watch,” Warrior said, shaking him awake.
He nodded, forcing himself to ignore the burning in his tired eyes. His body complained as he stood, every joint creaking and aching in protest.
He let none of that show, of course. What kind of hero would he be if he was just too tired to do anything?
So he stood and took his watch. He didn’t sit or lean against anything. He’d fall asleep for sure if he did. That didn’t stop his head from bobbing a few times.
Each shift was two hours. He always got middle shift, since he could wake quickly and fall back to sleep easily. At least, that’s what he tried to make sure the other believed. Usually it was true, but sometimes he couldn’t sleep. Despite his constant fatigue, there were times his body kept him in a hellish half-awake half-asleep state, his mind playing tricks on him but never sleeping. Still, even when he couldn’t sleep, he knew how to rest. If the other thought that meant he was asleep, it meant they didn’t bother him so much.
It led to pranks, but that was fine. It made Wind and Wild happy to try and stack as many sticks on his head before he woke. Nevermind the fact that he’d never fallen asleep in the first place.
At least, he was mostly sure it hadn’t been a dream where the two of them did that. Sometimes it was hard to tell dream and memory apart.
Sky bunched the fabric of his sailcloth again, trying to memorize the feeling of the cloth. Trying to convince himself that it was more real than what he could feel in his dreams.
He sighed, trying to find something to think about that would distract him from the constant tiredness. He wished Twilight didn’t patrol so much. Twilight was usually his watch partner, but the man never stuck around. Sky would kill for someone to talk to.
But there was nothing but an empty woods, a sore body, and the mind-numbing fatigue to keep him busy.
His thoughts wandered to a conversation he had once had with Luv, the lady who sold potions in Skyloft.
She had been curious why he always bought so many stamina potions. When he’d tried to wave her off, saying it was just usual fatigue, she had given him a strange look.
Everyone was always tired, that’s what Sky always heard. If he ever tried to complain, he’d get mothers admonishing him, for what did have have to be tired about?
Wait till you have a baby wake you every hour of the night, then you’ll know what ‘being tired’ means!
He’d have the other knights scoff at him.
Link, the boy who always sleeps in, tired? Try waking at crack of dawn every morning, then complain about being tired!
His instructors would insult him.
You need to stop being so lazy! Do 20 more reps, and if I hear any more complaining, it’ll be 50!
When he’d rushed out to save Zelda, he’d given everything he had. He’d burnt through his energy so quickly. But Zelda had still needed to be saved, so he kept going. When he had no energy left to burn, he had kept burning any scrap he could find.
Some days, he wondered if, during his journey, he had burned his soul for kindling.
Luv’s Stamina Potions had been what kept him going. In his darkest moments, he wondered if he would have been able to save Zelda without them. In his kinder moments, he was grateful he hadn’t needed to.
It was Lov’s concerned inquiries that led Sky to realize that his tiredness wasn’t normal, not like he’d been led to believe his whole life.
When his quest ended and he had nothing left to give, he had been grateful for the peace. Even the good days were still a struggle just to peel open his eyes.
Sky knew he had broken something, pushing himself so hard. He had already been broken, but his pushing broke him beyond repair.
On good days, his mind and body were full of energy. He could do all the mental math needed to shoot an arrow, and his body could race with the best of them all. It didn’t stop the droop in his eyes or the neverending ache in his soul where the fatigue had carved out a place to reside. There was never a day where he woke without the ever present ache in his soul.
On bad days, his mind was foggy. His body would hurt for no reason other than the fatigue. He would be dizzy or nauseous. Some days his side would burn, as though his organs were actively trying to die inside of him. Sometimes his head would split into a blinding migraine of colors and pain. Other days he wouldn’t be able to walk in a straight line without the world tilting and shifting beneath his feet.
He could sleep for 4 hours, for 8 hours, for 12 hours, or for 24 hours. I wouldn’t matter in the slightest. He was always just so tired .
He had thought he’d finally been granted a chance to rest. Then he’d been called on again. He couldn’t just refuse, not when everything rested on him.
It was hard not to be resentful some days.
He dug his fingernails into his arm, clutching at consciousness. He brought his focus back to his watch.
Some days he wondered what the others would do if they knew. Would they be scornful? Would they think him weak? Would they hate him? Would they think he was just exaggerating and complaining?
Would they pity him? Would they even believe him?
He wasn’t sure what would be the worst. Pity, at least, was easy. It hurt, but it was easy.
Sometimes, Sky wondered what his younger, more youthful and prideful self would think of him now. Pride had no place when one had to count every grain of energy just to see the next sunrise. Not even 20 years of age yet, and he already thought like an old man, too tired and weak to do much of anything.
His eyes burned and his limbs weighed like lead. But he stood tall, an easy smile plastered on his face. He couldn’t show his weakness. He wouldn’t.
Perhaps he still had a few scraps of pride left after all.
~~**~~
The fight was nothing special. Plenty of mobs, all of them easy enough to beat, but the numbers they came in made the fighting feel endless.
Sky hacked and slashed with a practice born of ignoring his tired state. His arms burned and his eyes drooped, but he kept a steady focus on the fight in front of him.
Then he noticed he wasn’t just tired. He was Tired . He was Dangerously Tired .
He was about to have a sleep attack.
Damn.
He parried a blow. Now was the worst time for a sleep attack. So far, he’d gotten lucky on this journey. The only times he had been struck by sleep attacks had been in camp or in a town. He’d been lucky on his original quest too. He hadn’t developed the full sleeping-sickness until after he had rescued Zelda.
He had a minute left. Maybe two if he was lucky.
His arms began to shake. Only a slight tremor, but Sky knew it wouldn’t stay like that.
He raked his eyes across the battlefield. He realized the battle was nearly won, the monstrous hoard finally coming down a a trickle.
Relief flooded him and nearly caused his knees to buckle. Grunting, he hefted his increasingly heavy arm to block another blow.
He took a step back as the creature bared down on him. His legs began to tremble. It was only through force of will he remained standing, and he felt his will rapidly shrinking as another wave of exhaustion crashed into like a wave in the ocean, threatening to drag him to his death. His whole body buzzed with a warm static.
He wrenched opened his jaw to cry out to the others, pride be damned. Instead, all he could let loose was a quiet gurgle as his tongue and vocal cords refused to follow his orders.
His vision was turning grey along the edges, fizzing in and out as particles swept through his sight, as though he were suddenly in a blizzard. He was losing his ability to see, move, or even cry out for help.
He watched with a detached feeling of horror as the large moblin reared it’s spear back for a blow that Sky could not dodge .
His knees buckled and he lost everything.
Perhaps now the pain would end.
He fell to the ground, limp and lifeless.
“ SKY! ” someone yelled.
He fell to the ground hard, his head cracking as it struck the hard dirt. Ow.
He couldn’t see, his vision entirely black now. He heard the moblin utter a confused sound. It was better than the piercing pain of being impaled that Sky had feared was coming.
He heard a few yells and screams from his comrades. He knew they weren’t in trouble. In fact, he knew why they were suddenly yelling.
“ SKY ! Someone, anyone , get over there!” Warrior shouted, terror leeching off his command.
Sky heard the others flock to where he fell. A few moments of fighting could be heard. Then he felt Four’s calloused hands lift his head.
“Sky? Can you hear me?” Four hissed. Sky could feel Four’s hand clutching at his throat, right under his jaw. “He’s still alive, he has a pulse!” Four yelled to the others. Murmurs and grunts and clashes of steel responded.
Sky could feel Four’s hands move upwards, palming his head. Sky wanted to wince in pain as Four rubbed at the lump on his head from when he fell, but of course, he still couldn’t move. Couldn’t so much as shout in pain as Four prodded the spot.
“No bleeding, good. Hopefully no concussion…” Four’s calm voice murmured. Sky was grateful he was speaking out loud.
“That’s the last of them!” Warrior declared.
Sky could hear the everyone crowding around where he fell.
“What happened?” Time demanded.
“Is he alright?” Wind asked.
“He’s dead!” Legend shouted.
What Sky would give to be able to roll his eyes.
Four hummed. “The only wound I can find is a bump on his head from when he fell. I can’t see anything that would cause him to go unconscious in the first place.” Four placed a hand over Sky’s forehead. “No fever either. His pulse is steady. He looks healthy, as far as I can tell.”
Sky heard various shuffling from the other heroes. Concerned murmurs of dread and fear.
“You sure he didn’t just fall asleep? ‘Cause that’s what it looks like from here,” Legend commented.
Sky could practically hear the others rolling their eyes. “Oh yes. Because it’s normal to fall asleep in the middle of a fight.” Four patted Sky’s face. “Thanks for reminding me Legend, how could I have forgotten?”
Dammit, he wished he could just tell them he was fine! Yet still he could not move.
Then he twitched his neck. Finally .
He brought every last scrap of will together and struggled against the oppressive weight keeping him down. He knew if he missed this opportunity, he’d be stuck even longer. So he heaved and managed to roll his neck, using the momentum to push the rest of his body’s muscles into action.
“Whoa, Sky, settle down! You’re safe!”
With a grunt he pushed himself to roll over, muscles finally obeying, if a little sluggish.
“‘M fine,” Sky said, working his tongue around his mouth.
“You collapsed. In the middle of a fight.” Time stated. “That is not fine. What happened?”
Sky could feel the tips of his ears begin to redden. He shrugged, not meeting anyone’s eyes. He began running his fingers along the fabric of his sailcloth.
“Are you hiding an injury?” Twilight grabbed Sky’s chin roughly, forcing eye contact.
Sky shook his head in negative. Sky could feel the rough calluses of Twilight’s hand, could feel the pain of a grip just a touch too tight.
“Under an evil spell?” Hyrule asked.
“Wearing a cursed object?” Legend asked.
“Ate something poisonous? Don’t be embarrassed, I’ve done that a lot,” Wild said.
“You’re sick, aren’t you,” Wind said.
Sky flinched at Wind’s words.
That was the only confirmation the others needed.
“So you are sick!” Twilight growled.
Sky tried to stop the flinch. He really did. But the words struck deep.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Four’s calm voice cut past Twilight’s, blessedly unaccusing. “If we’d known, we could have covered for you until you felt better. We’re a team now, Sky.”
Sky couldn’t look anyone in the eye. He looked at the ground instead. What was he supposed to say?
“We’ll move to shelter, then,” Time said, his word broaching no argument, “and we’ll hunker down until Sky feels better.”
Sky grit his teeth and clenched his eyes shut, bunching his fists together. “No.”
“No? No?! Oh, sorry, in that case we’ll just wait till you collapse again. Maybe you’ll actually die next time!” Legend shouted.
“Legend!” Time barked. “That was too far.”
“Hmph. Am I wrong? Sky was defenseless. Now he’s saying we shouldn’t take the time for him to get better? That’s just foolish.”
Sky felt a little bitter laugh escape from his lips.
“You think this is fucking funny?” Legend stomped over. Sky saw his boots. He didn’t want to see his face. “We all thought you died . And now you’re laughing ?!” Legend grabbed Sky’s collar and lifted him to his feet. Legend brought his face up close, spit flying as he spoke. “Do you think you’re life is a damned joke?! ”
Sky closed his eyes. He was just so tired , dammit. “Yes… sometimes I do.” He sighed.
Legend dropped him. Dropped him like the weak, useless trash he was. Sky didn’t try to catch himself, crumpling to the ground.
He didn’t need to look up to hear Legend stomping away. Some throwaway line about needing air.
Sky bit his lip. The silence of the others was crushing. Why was he even here? He was broken. Useless. No, worse than useless. A burden .
“It’s not what you think,” Sky weakly tried.
“I understand,” Wild said. “I feel that way too sometimes.”
Great, now Sky felt even worse. He was so tired .
“... You aren’t sick,” Four said. Sky snapped to Four’s eyes, eyes that seemed to pierce right through him. “Not like we think, anyways. Am I right? You aren’t ill.”
Sky wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. “... Depends on your definition.”
“Fuckin’ hells…” Warrior muttered under his breath. “Since when are you so cagey Sky? Are you sick, yes or no ?”
“I’m tired!” Sky snapped, jumping to his feet so quickly his head spun. He planted his feet firm though, and didn’t let it show. He thrust a finger towards Warrior. “I’m so, so— so tired!” He raised his hands towards the heavens as he yelled. “I’m exhausted! Spent! Done! Worn out and empty! I have nothing left to give! ”
Shocked eyes met his, but Sky wasn’t done.
“Am I sick? Am I sick? I don’t know! No one does!” He was screaming, spit flying alongside his words, but he couldn’t stop. “I’m broken, used up and ready to be discarded! I did my duty, I went above and beyond, and what was my reward?! I’m sorry that I can’t wait this out, because this is my life now! ”
“You aren’t broken,” Hyrule said softly, like he was speaking to an cornered animal, “we can help, surely this is just a curse, or a sickness, or—”
Sky whirled on Hyrule. “There’s no curse. There’s no disease to be cured. There is no cure!” His voice cracked on the last word. He could feel the burst of steam his anger had granted him dwindling. “There’s no cure. I sleep, but I get no rest. I am tired, I am so tire— so ti— ”
Globs of tears ran down his cheeks. His throat tightened, choking away his words.
His anger was gone, and with it any last dredge of energy. He slumped back to the ground.
He knew better than to get angry, he knew better . Anger took up so much energy. One angry argument was enough to knock him out for the rest of the day.
Getting angry was a luxury, one for people who had the energy to spare. People who weren’t him.
His tears continued to flow, but he wouldn’t look at anyone. He gave a watery broken laugh. “S-so, now you a-all know,” he choked through the sobs, no longer caring. “How weak I am. S-sometimes I lock up, a-and I can’t m-move.”
Silence greeted him.
“‘M sorry. Should’a told e-everyone. I’m a… I’m a liability.”
No one disagreed, and for that, he was grateful. Sky didn’t think he had the strength left to make them understand. His eyes were drooping already.
“... Are you able to walk, Sky?” Legend asked, tone carefully neutral. “There’s a place not too far from here we can set up camp.”
Sky figured he must have heard the shouting and came back. Wonderful.
Sky nodded. He didn’t really have a choice, after all. If he couldn’t walk, then what? Drag his body to the camp? Just leave him?
He made his way to his feet. “I can walk.”
He stumbled, but kept up (barely).
His mind drifted, bobbing in the sea of his mind. The others tried to say things, but Sky wasn’t listening. He ignored them. Just one more step. Now one more. Now one more. Now one more. Now one more. Now one more. Now…
“Sky?”
… one more. Now one more. Now one more.
They came to an outcropping. Easily defendable. Wild started a campfire, the other checked the perimeter. Sky did nothing. He was useless. Like usual.
The camp was silent as Wild made dinner.
“Oh.” Wind said, shattering the deafening quiet. “You have the sleeping-sickness, don’t you?”
Sky’s head jerked to look at Wind. “...That’s what Luv called it, yes. How do you know that name?”
Wind grimaced. “Oh. I’m sorry…” Wind brought his knees up to his chest, absently poking at the fire with a stick. “... Linebeck used to talk about it a little. Not at first. ‘I’m tired,’ he used to say all the time. After awhile I got sick of the same excuse, but he’d always say ‘but it’s true!’. When I caught him sleeping all the time, I got angry. He’d play it off like he was just lazy, and I believed him.”
Wind paused. He tossed the stick into the fire. “But then one time he just… passed out. Right on the middle of the ship deck. Leaned up against the mast, he looked around. Looked to see if I was watching, but he didn’t see me. Then he just crumpled.” Wind sighed. “I was so worried. He was limp, like he was dead. Then he woke up, and explained it to me.”
Wind looked away from the fire, looked into Sky’s eyes. “I’m sorry Sky. I should have noticed with Linebeck, and I should have noticed with you. Linebeck, he always had these huge bags under his eyes. He always waved it off as ‘not sleeping enough,’ but I should have known better. He slept as often as he physically could. Just like you do.”
Sky was speechless. Wind’s words probably would have had more impact if he wasn’t so drained. But his mind kept going back to one thing. “There are others like me?”
Wind nodded. “A lot of the things you said earlier were things Linebeck would tell me about. How he felt broken, like he’d been used up. Like he had nothing left to give. But when he told me these things, he was so scared. He was terrified. Of what I would say. That I’d think he was just a liar.”
“Did you?” Sky asked.
“No. As soon as he told me, I could see clear as day what he meant. And then after I started noticing more. Some days, he would move like a stafols. Other days he was mostly fine.” Wind patted Sky’s leg. “I know you aren’t lying, Sky.”
“But you don’t.” Sky said. He wanted to stand and shout, but he just did not have the energy . “You have no way to tell I’m telling the truth. Or maybe I’m just making it up? Everyone’s tired. I’m nothing special, just weak— mph!”
Wind reached over and covered Sky’s mouth with his whole hand. “Nope! Linebeck would do the same thing. I didn’t let him throw a pity party, and I won’t let you either!”
Someone snorted. “Er, sorry,” Warrior said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Pity party?”
Wind nodded sagely. “Yup.”
Wind’s hand fell away from Sky’s mouth. “I don’t deserv— mph.”
“Nope! Try again!”
Sky sighed. “Thank you, Wind.”
Sky’s eyes traveled to the others gathered around the campfire.
“I’m still a little confused here,” Hyrule said. “I mean, the tired part sounds pretty awful, but… did you really fall asleep mid-battle today?”
Sky shook his head. “No. I was awake the whole time, actually. I just couldn’t move. Sometimes… sometimes that happens. This the first time during a battle, though.”
“‘Sometimes that happens’?” Time questioned.
“I usually have a minute or two of warning. My head will get fuzzy and my limbs heavy. Then… Then I can’t move. Not a muscle. I can still feel and hear though, I just can’t move.”
“Hmm…” Time looked thoughtful. “How often does this affect you?”
“About once every week, two if I’m lucky.”
“What the hell? How have we not noticed?” Warrior said.
Sky shrugged. “You all seem to just assume I fall asleep when it happens.”
Wild snapped his fingers. “That time on the horse! Two minutes into the ride and you fell asleep!”
Sky snorted at the memory. “Yep, that was a sleep-attack.”
The others were murmuring to each other. Sky was too tired to pick out what everyone was saying.
“Sky needs to stop taking night watches,” Wind interrupted.
Sky tensed his shoulders. “I can still do watch!”
“I’m going to tell you something that Linebeck once told me,” Wind said, the most serious Sky had ever seen the younger hero. “‘Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should .” Wind pointed to a mountain in the distance. “Say I lost my legs in a fight. Could I climb to the top of that mountain, with only my hands? Probably, if I crawled for a few weeks. Should I? No. Instead of making it to the top, I’d probably die.”
“I still have both my legs, Wind. It's not the same.”
“You have your physical legs, but not your metaphorical ones. I’m not being literal here! Okay, how about this?” Wind gestured to a large boulder on the edge of the clearing. “If we needed to pick that big rock up and throw it, who should do it? Four or Twilight?”
Sky raised an eyebrow.
“Twilight, duh.” Wind answered for him. “That question was rhetorical. It’s not that Four is worse than Twilight, it’s just that Twilight is built like a brick shithouse.”
“I’m built like a what ?”
Wind shushed Twilight. “So, in order for you to be at your top A-game, you need to sleep more than the rest of us. You can stay up and take watch, but should you? Not weaker, not worse. Just different.”
“...” Sky didn’t know what to say. No one had ever told him… well, anything like that. Zelda did her best to understand, but this was different. Wind knew .
“I think…” Sky began, a small wobbling smile in place, “if I wasn’t so emotionally exhausted, I’d be crying right now, Wind.”
Wind just gave him a cheeky grin a and a thumbs up.
“Soup’s done,” Wild announced.
Like usual, Sky was passed a warm wooden bowl. He felt the warmth spread into his palms. He ran a finger along the edge of the wood feeling the grain. He pushed a palm against his eyes, trying to will away the pain behind them. It didn’t work, of course. It made him feel a little better though.
And before he knew it, he was out like a light.
~~**~~
Sky was grateful for a lot of things. One of those things was sleep. Another was the rare night of dreamless sleep he’d gotten the night before.
Everyone was still walking on eggshells around him. Everyone except Wind, who seemed to know exactly what to say and what not to say.
But judgement still waited, this Sky knew.
“We need to finish yesterday’s talk.” Time called everyone together. “Sky, I’m going to be straight with you. Are you fit for combat?”
Sky wanted to be offended by Time’s words, but he knew what Time was saying. Besides, getting offended wasted valuable energy. “If I wasn’t, I would still be home in Skyloft with Zelda.”
Oh how he wished he wasn’t fit for combat. It would have made his life so much easier…
“But the collapsing? Are you sure that won’t be a problem?” Twilight’s brow was crooked, a copy of the expression Time loved to give.
“I won’t say it will never be a problem, but I do tend to have time before it fully hits me. Besides, it rarely affects me during combat. I’ll be fine.”
Twilight didn’t look fully convinced, but he didn’t push the issue.
“I’ve got a fucking problem, yeah. There’s no way Sky should be allowed into a fight,” Sky was surprised to hear Legend protest.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Wind piped up in his defense.
“Sky, I’ll tell you what. I’ll accept that you belong out with the rest of us under one condition. Deal?” Legend’s eyes bored into Sky.
“... Name it.”
“Look me in the eyes, Sky. If you look away, I’m declaring you unfit for duty.”
“Who gave you that authority?” Warrior mumbled, no heart to the question.
Legend was serious. More serious than Sky could ever remember him looking. So he matched Legend’s gaze. It was hard not to fidget, but Sky wasn’t about to let Legend’s unnerving stare best him.
“Now I’m going to ask you a question. You are going to answer it from the heart. Take a second to really think before you respond, ‘cause I’m only giving you one shot at this. Understood?”
Sky didn’t like this odd air of seriousness that Legend exuded. “Understood.”
“My question is this: do you want to end your life ?”
Sky’s eyes widened. He didn’t look away though.
“Oh shit,” someone whispered.
Sky took a moment to reflect on Legend’s words. His gut answer was ‘no, of course not!’ but that wasn’t entirely true. That’s what everyone wanted to hear, but Sky knew if there was a shred of dishonesty in his words, Legend would know.
So he thought about it. Did he want to die? The claustrophobic fatigue threatened to spill from his throat and color his answer, but he pushed it back.
In truth…
“Some days, I want any escape from the pain. On those days, I feel cornered like an animal. No way to escape the soul-crushing tiredness or the pain of my body. My joints set on fire. My heart burning in my chest. Some days it feels like I’m so tired that my body will just die out from under me.”
“Some days, I don’t want to be alive.” Sky said, not breaking eye contact. He heard a gasp. “But then, on those days, I just have to remember anything but the tiredness. Anything. Zelda. My loftwing. The way the air smells just after it’s rained.” Sky smiled. “The little things help. Some days, back in Skyloft, I would just go out on a walk. Just to remind myself that I could, and to remind myself of the small things in life. The warmth of the sun. The bright flowers. The grass beneath my feet.”
“So no, Legend. I do not want to die. Some days it’s a struggle. For the rest of my life, I’ll have those days. It’ll be hard. It already is hard. But for living? To be able to be free, with Zelda?”
“It’s worth every scrap of pain.”
Legend had an odd smile by the time Sky finished. It was small and genuine. His eyes shined with… familiarity? “Good answer.”