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Winters in the Survey Corps equals more time on base. Expeditions ground to a halt and travel off base is limited. For Levi, that means more time cleaning around the base to occupy his time and keep the filth away.
Of course, he needs help with some of the higher elevations.
Levi knocks on Mike’s door to borrow his height for a moment. Mike yells through the door and Levi opens it to find an empty room. Levi walks further in, not sure where a man Mike’s size could hide in such a space. At least, not until he looks down.
“What are you two doing?”
Both of their heads swivel his way. Mike shrugs and Erwin gives him a small smirk before closing his eyes and turning his head again to continue what he was doing.
Both of them, two huge titan killing soldiers, were sunning themselves on the sunlight framed floor below the window. Levi couldn’t help but to quirk a lip in the thought of laying down on the floor by choice, especially when Mike had plenty of perfectly good chairs. Neither one of them seemed too bothered to answer him so he prompted them again.
“It’s warm here,” was Erwin’s answer, not even opening his eyes against the shining sun. He does not elaborate, like that was reason enough to lay down on a filthy floor. Well, not filthy…Mike keeps his military clean just like Levi’s.
Mike scoots further away from Erwin and pats the spot he just vacated. “Come…join us,” he says in a deadpanned voice.
“I’m not laying on a filthy floor.”
Mike feigns insult, face in a mocking rendition of shock. “My floor is not dirty.”
Levi sucks a tooth at them and moves to leave.
“Levi.”
Levi curses how the sound of Erwin’s voice makes him pause. Almost out of reflex, instinctual even. They sit in limbo for a moment, Erwin staying silent and Levi still in his spot. At least until, Levi lets out a frustrated sigh and turns his head to look over his shoulder. Erwin and Mike are perfectly still, but Erwin’s hand is out and open towards the missing piece in the center, a gentle invitation.
Levi grumbles a little and navigates the two big ass trees until he is safely in the center of the two. He eyes the floor, finds that he may not get a communicable disease, and sits down on the floor. He brings his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them. He only gets to sit for a minute before a gentle pat on the hardwood indicates that he is not done. He mutters again as he finally lays down between the men.
“Happy?” He grouses.
Erwin just smirks, his eyes still closed.
Levi wiggles around until he finds a semi-comfortable spot and finally stills. The angle of the sun forces him to keep his eyes closed against the light, but he can feel how warm the floorboards are underneath him. He has to admit that the warmth did feel…nice. All three of them are silent, the only noise being their own breathing. He swears Mike dozes off a couple of times before any of them talk.
“At the orphanage,” Erwin starts. “The winter months were the worst. It was an old home so there were plenty of holes and gaps to allow the cold in.” He sighs deep and Levi can feel it through the floorboards. “The boys room had a large window and it was the warmest in the home since the sun shined right on the floor. It was my favorite place.”
Levi listened to see if he would say more, but Erwin seemed content in his explanation. Erwin rarely gave away anything about his past. Only his closest friends seemed to know small pieces of his life, but no one had the whole picture. He was sure that if everyone was to compare notes, they still would not truly know who Erwin was. Levi experienced a startling realization that, in that moment, Erwin considered him close enough to tell him about his past, even if it was just a small amount. There was a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with the sun at the thought.
Levi cleared his throat to break the silence. He turns his head to the side where Mike lay. “How about you? What’s your excuse?”
Mike smirked, but kept his eyes closed. “He did it during training too. I didn’t want him to be weird by himself.”
Erwin snorts and Levi’s lips quirk at the thought of Erwin laying down in the trainee barracks and the ever-loyal Mike laying down next to him.
Mike sighed and shuffled a little. “Besides, he’s right. It is nice. I pity the people who miss out on this.”
Levi just hums in agreement and turns back towards the window. Mike was right. Everyone else is missing out.
Although it felt a little silly, he could not deny the warm on his back and the light on his face. The company was not bad either.
So he did not mind looking silly for the moment.
Just for today.
…
Levi decides that Erwin must be a creature from the sun.
Erwin follows it throughout the day: rising with it, positioning his desk in the largest window at headquarters so he can soak it up throughout the day, taking in the sunrise while standing on the top of the walls of the abandoned outpost in titan territory.
When Erwin becomes Commander, he inherits an office with the largest window in the building. They position is desk just so the sun beams over his back during the day with a large portion of floor left open just behind. Levi is the first to notice that when he walks into his office, that the light makes his hair glow.
After a while, Levi considers the sun and Erwin as one and the same.
In the winter months, as the air grows cold and the days shorter, Levi is not surprised when he finds Mike and Erwin were at it again. Of course, it is in Erwin’s office this time. Levi doesn’t even blink when he finds them both on the floor, framed by the sun.
Erwin cracks open an eye and smirks when Levi rounds the desk to lay eyes on them. “Not a word.”
"Couldn't find a warm rock to sun yourselves on?" Levi mocks them, but he sits down between them anyways after placing his reports on Erwin’s desk. He leans back, resting the weight of his torso on his hands behind him. He leans his head back and closes his eyes. The sun turns his vision red and he can feel the heat on his skin. Levi inhales deep and lets it out slow.
A gentle prodding on his little finger triggers him to lay back fully. He follows the command and finds a comfortable spot quickly. One hand bends behind his head for cushion, the second lays to his side, palm up. It only takes a moment for Erwin’s own to rest on top, his fingers resting between his gently. His hand twitches when Erwin traces letters into his palm. He absolutely fails to hide the twitch in his lips.
He has stuff to do. Duties he should get back to and soldiers to yell at.
However, the sun is bright, the floor is warm, and he has the best company.
He will take this moment.
Just for today.
…
Levi tries to quell the panic, but Erwin – his newly one-armed commander – is missing.
He finds Erwin’s room in the san empty and the nurses in a tizzy trying to locate the high-ranking officer. Levi stares at the unkept bed for a moment before leaving. He may not know where Erwin is, but he knows where he may find him.
He searches Erwin’s normal spots: his office, the stables, the bench along the running path, and others. All empty. Not a trace of Erwin.
He reluctantly steps into the west wing of the officer’s barracks. Dread rolls at the bottom of his stomach as he eyes the last door on the left. No one has been in it since Mike went missing. But it was the last place he could think of looking.
The door is unlocked and it groans as he opens it. The curtains are open and he can see the dust drifting in the sunlight. Out of habit, he wants to grab a duster and get to work, but he stops his train of thought when he remembers whose room it was. It would be taken care of eventually, but for now Mike’s room will stay in intact.
Levi steps into the room and automatically feels like he is trespassing. He steps closer to Mike’s desk in the middle of the room and his breath catches when he looks over the top.
Lying on the wood floor in the yellowed sunlight drifting through the window, lies the one and only Erwin Smith. He is in the same clothes he was in the last time he was in his recovery room, feet barefoot with his shoes just where the shadows meet the light. He is blanketed in a long, Survey Corps winter coat, reaching from his shin to his just over his nose. His eyes are closed and Levi quells the panic long enough to noticed his chest moving under the emblazoned Wings of Freedom on the back of the coat.
If Erwin heard his approach around the desk, he did not show it. Levi steps to Erwin’s left, his normal position. He kneels next to his Commander, but does not reach out for him. “Erwin?” His voice barely above a whisper.
Erwin opens his eyes only halfway. Even thought the bottom half of his face is covered, Levi can see the dark circles and puffiness around his eyes and the hollowness of his cheeks from essentially starving for a week. Erwin stares into the distance, never glancing Levi’s direction, and his eyes slide close again. His chest rises as he inhales into the bottoms of his lungs and sinks with a shuddering exhale. “Sorry,” his voice like gravel.
Part of Levi wants to yell at Erwin for giving him a fright and working the staff into a panic. Looking at him now, so broken, he finds his anger has been replaced. He moves so he is sitting next to Erwin instead, offering his presence rather than his words.
Levi leans back and braces his weight onto his hands. He leans his head back, closes his eyes and just breathes. After a moment, he can feel it…the warmth, the calm, and serenity of sunning himself in Mike’s room, surrounded by scents and the belongings of his dear friend. It was strangely comforting.
Fabric rustles and he feels a cool touch on his right hand. He allows his little finger to be wrapped with the other’s where it finally comes to rest. He can feel the faint tremble in the digit, the effort needed to reach out. He does not pull away even as he lowers his torso down so he is lying next to Erwin, only a small part of him concerned with the dust that has collected over the floor in Mike’s absence. Only when he finally settles does he grasp the hand – Erwin’s only hand – into a surer grip, squeezing gently like the man next to him was going to break.
“Sorry,” Erwin repeats, voice ever softer.
“Don’t,” Levi chastises without malice. He closes his eyes and listens to Erwin’s gentle breaths and how he swallows hard.
“I didn’t know where else to go.”
Levi brushes his thumb over Erwin’s knuckles. His bones protrude through his skin.
“I think...I hoped…he would be here.” He breathes deep and lets it out long and slow, coughing away the obstruction.
Levi doesn’t try to placate him. Tell him it’s okay or it will get better. He feels the familiar weight on his chest and he inhales hard to fight the pressure.
Erwin sniffs and his next words are soaked. “I miss him.”
Levi finally turns to look at Erwin’s profile, washed pale in the sunlight. He can see the pallor of his skin, the redness in his eyes, matted eyelashes and moisture trails connecting his eyes to his sideburns. His eyes are open again, staring at something he can only see.
Levi scoots closer so their sides are connected, leg to shoulder. He hopes that his presence offers Erwin some comfort. His hand never leaves Erwin’s and he can feel the grateful squeeze from the fingers, weak but still there. He tears his eyes away from Erwin’s half-hidden face and back to the light.
From their point of view, the window is facing one of the few places in the base with an unobstructed view of the sky. There were no other buildings to block out the blue dotted with wispy clouds and the sun which could be scorching if not filtered through the window and warming the wooden floors. More importantly, there were no walls, just open sky and warmth.
If one was inclined to do so, you could think that there were no walls. That the sky was as endless as it appears and the world as they knew it was not crumbling around them.
Levi lays next to Erwin until the the light shifts away from them and the sun dips behind the walls. Days were always shorter in the walls. Levi does not know how long they have been laying there, but it has been long enough for Erwin to lightly doze a couple of times already. Levi nudges him awake.
“You need to rest.” He fusses. He stands and bends over to schlep Erwin to standing as well. He holds Erwin by his waist when he starts to teeter to the right. Erwin’s face gives too much away when he is tired and does not have his mask on. Levi can see the grief, exhaustion, and pain all too clear. It was not something the hospital staff should see and he doubts Erwin wants them to witness. He makes an executive decision.
“You can stay in your room for the night, but you go back to the san in the morning, got it?” He can’t stand to see Erwin in his condition so he focuses on wrapping the coat around Erwin’s shoulders. It seems to be larger than Erwin’s normal coat. A quick survey of Mike’s closet confirms who is actually belonged to. He cinches the coat closed, the upturned collar covers half of Erwin's face.
He grabs Erwin’s hand and starts to walk but is stopped short when the mass that is the Commander does not follow.
“Stay with me,” Erwin breathes behind the collar.
Levi tugs sharply and Erwin steps forward finally. “Okay.”
He should be making plans in Erwin’s absence. He should be checking in on the troops. He should be writing reports.
As he wraps Erwin’s remaining arm over his shoulder, his other supporting him by the waist, Levi decides he will stay with Erwin for tonight. He will take care and lay next to the most important person in his life. Even if it just to pretend that their world was not a lie and crumbling around them. To find his own comfort that Erwin was still there. Battered and missing parts, but alive and solid next to him.
Levi will be selfish and take this moment.
Just for today.