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It was close to 8am by the time Tony stumbled out of his makeshift lab and onto his bed - quite literally, as these days his bed was just two steps outside of his workshop. So was his kitchen, living room and bathroom-slash-laundry-room.
If someone said one year ago that Tony would find himself living on a tin can apartment in Brooklyn because that was all he could afford, he'd have laughed at their faces and - and possibly felt slightly offended that someone would believe that Tony Stark - genius, playboy, billionaire - couldn’t come up with a genius idea and recover whatever he’s lost within the hour with profits from the patent alone.
But then, again, one year ago the idea that his business partner, who also happened to be his mentor , would try to get him killed by hired terrorists would also seem impossible to him. And yet, there he was.
As it turns out, being locked in a cave with round the clock torture sessions was surprisingly very conductive of life-changing epiphanies, not many of which pleased the conservative dinosaurs of his Board of Directors. Stane might be gone - the kidnapping, torture and attempted murder landed him on much worse accommodations than Tony’s -, but he left behind a cursed legacy in the form of a grating BoD composed of fosiles with their heads up their asses, very good lawyers and lots of money to drag out a lawsuit. Tony was kicked out of his own company and had his assets frozen before he could say “bankruptcy". And until Pepper and that Coulson lawyer guy managed to clean up the mess with the stockholders, this cockroach-infested soviet bloc, with fifteen units per floor and mold going up the walls, was home sweet home.
Tony had to admit, there was some efficiency to having his lab, bed, fridge and shower within the same 500 square feet - this new minimalist lifestyle, while not the most comfortable (his bed was a pull out couch!), was practical. He hadn’t realized he had so much useless junk until he didn’t have the space to store it anymore and had to separate wheat from chaff and realized most of it was disposable, and that was very contradictory from the new direction he wanted SI to take towards clean energy and waste reduction.
You are becoming a hippie . Rhodey’s assessment wasn’t too far off the mark. With the growing facial hair, he certainly looked the part.
I really should shave, he thought, face-planting on the “bed” without changing and going out like a light.
----
He woke up again when the day was already gone - 6pm, his clock marked, and holy shit, he slept 10 hours! - to an incessant thudding noise. At first, he thought it was Rocket, the racoon that came with the apartment, trying to break into the food cabinet again, and tried to go back to sleep again - with Rocket, he had learned the hard way that it was better to lock up the important things and just leave him be (the only time he tried to get rid of the pest, he had spent a night in the emergency room getting stitches and a rabies shot. After that, he resigned himself to having wildlife for roommate, got child locks for the cabinets, and locked the workshop in the only bedroom in the house. The little shit probably already had tenant rights to the apartment anyway).
The thudding continued, however, without the annoyed chitters and furniture scratching from a frustrated racoon failing to break into a Stark-improved trash can, and Tony realized it didn’t come from the kitchen, but from the general direction of the door.
Someone was knocking on the door (because that piece of trash apartment didn’t have a working doorbell). He knew only a few people who would come visit a disgraced ex-billionaire who’s lost most of his friends with his money, and most of them were busy with work (Rhodey), busy with Tony’s work (Pepper and Happy), soul-searching on a third world country (Bruce), or just wouldn’t be caught dead on a place like this (Jan), which meant that it could only be one person at the door.
That got Tony up and rushing to try to bring the tiny room into some sort of order in the following thirty seconds, before yanking the door open without checking - against all security protocol, and somewhere in Malibu Happy was having a coronary.
Now, that was yet another benefit to living in this little soviet block: the hot neighbor living in the apartment in front of his and currently his only friend in this world.
“James” Tony greeted the man on the other side of the door, flashing his best smile, despite the very disheveled bed hair he was sporting. He knew for a fact James found it adorable, if the not-so-subtle looks were a hint.
James scowled, giving Tony his best glare, which at this point Tony had learned was just a fake. The first time he had met James, he had honestly thought he was part of the Russian mob - dude had a murder face and the wardrobe to match. But that was a very handsome murder face, with some impressive blue eyes and plush lips straight out of Tony’s many deviant daydreams. The guy managed to land on the sexy side of disheveled, with a sexy man-bun that should be outdated on these days, and a stubble Tony bet would give his thighs some impressive beard burn, if allowed. He wasn’t ashamed to say he drooled all over the guy.
Thankfully James had turned out not to be a psycho, not that it would have stopped Tony if he was - after dating Bain and Stone, he sincerely doubted it could get any worse than that.
“I thought I told you to call me Bucky, Stank ” he greeted back, giving up the pretense of being annoyed, eyes clearly taking on Tony’s appearance. “Do you want a rain check on movie night? You look like you could use more sleep.”
Movie night had become a sort of tradition for the both of them after the few months they’d known each other. Bucky lived like an hermit, which made no sense, since it was clear he liked other people’s company from the few times Tony had seen him interact with neighbors other than himself. Befriending Bucky was actually an accident itself, and he owed that one to DUM-E: Bucky was a huge nerd, just like Tony. Becoming friends and nerding over sci-fi movies after that was easy, and it seemed to be walking towards something more.
“You know I wouldn’t mind losing a few hours of sleep for you” Tony winked, leaning against the door frame. James chuckled, bashful, and would probably answer with a teasing remark of his own, if it wasn’t for the deafening bark interrupting the moment.
"Woof!”
Behind Bucky’s legs, watching like a disapproving boyfriend, was Stevie, Bucky’s dog. For a dog that size, Stevie was scarily good at sitting still and moving stealthily when he didn’t want to be seen, such as when he wanted to avoid a bath. Tony had seen it firsthand.
The dog - and he was using that term very liberally - was a mammoth . Sitting, he reached past Tony’s middle, and he bet it could be easily 6 feet tall if it rose on its back paws, which was taller than Tony himself. Combined with the scraggly white and tan fur, and deep blue eyes, the dog looked like a mix of a very unkempt golden retriever with a wolf, and possibly also a horse.
(Also, Stevie? How come the dog had a human name and Bucky was stuck with… Bucky?!)
“Hey, Stevie! Come here, boy!” Tony called the dog, or tried to. Stevie gave him a very unimpressed look and walked past Tony and inside the apartment, sniffing the pull out couch and making the best dog impression of snorting at the cheap upholstery. How a dog could be so judgemental was beyond Tony.
That was another thing about the dog: his behavior was as peculiar as his appearance. Bucky worked all day and, as a favor, Tony would sometimes watch Stevie for him, even though the dog seemed hell bent on hating him. Still, the more time he spent with the dog, the more he was convinced that wasn’t a dog at all. Sometimes, Stevie showed a level of awareness and intelligence unlike of any other animal Tony had ever seen, scarily so, and Tony could swear he had caught the dog reading the newspaper.
And then, other times, he behaved like a normal dog who chased its tail and licked its own balls. On these instances, he acted like Tony was his favorite person and would howl dramatically until Tony gave up on working and paid attention to him.
That was probably a trait he picked from his owner. Like right now: They were flirting, and then Bucky would suddenly decide he didn’t want to flirt anymore. It drove Tony up the wall, he never knew if Bucky was just playing hard to get or wasn’t just plain uninterested.
Whatever that was, Tony knew better than to keep it up when Bucky got that uneasy look on his face, and changed the subject, stepping aside to let Bucky inside the apartment and closing the door after him.
“You sure that’s a dog?” It was an old debate between them, what exactly Steve was supposed to be. Bucky said a very big Husky mix, but Tony still bet on scientific experiment.
“Only fifty percent” Bucky replied, sitting on his usual spot on the couch. “What have you got for us today?”
Oh crap. Right, it was Tony’s turn to pick.
“I was thinking we could pick it together.” Tony bullshitted. Bucky, as always, saw right through it.
“You forgot, didn’t you?”
Tony sighed, trying to sit down beside Bucky, only to be blocked by Stevie jumping on the couch and planting himself beside his human, daring Tony to sit on his own couch with a mean look. That dog was a damn chastity belt.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Tony replied to Bucky, but his eyes were on Stevie as he sat on the farther corner of the couch. The dog seemed to harbor love and hate feelings for Tony, and tonight it was clearly hatred. They hadn’t had any biting accidents so far, but Stevie had really big teeth.
Hopefully, with a few scratches behind the ears during the movie, it would be back to love again.
----
The sad part about being a dog, in Steve’s opinion, was the near irresistible urge to follow instincts. Like right now, lying on that uncomfortable couch between Bucky and Tony: he knew, in his “human mind”, that he shouldn’t like Tony, because Tony was trying to hit on Steve’s boyfriend right in front of him (true, he was a dog, but irrationality wasn’t going to be bested by man nor dog).
His “dog mind”, however, had a very different idea, and wanted to curl up next to Tony instead of Bucky. Steve justified that with the fact that Tony was the fun human, who sneaked him bacon and gave him great scratches. Human Steve would never eat bacon, but the dog didn’t care. The dog liked bacon, and the dog liked Tony, which was proof that the dog had bad tastes and thus its opinion about Tony shouldn’t be trusted. Nevermind that Tony gave the best ear scratches, and sneaked him pieces of some delicious food, and put up with a monster dog in his house destroying his life.
That is just because he wants to get into Bucky’s pants , he reminded himself. No other reason why anyone would deal with a dog’s bad behavior, if not for personal gain. And Steve had been going out of his way to give him shit, sometimes quite literally, to ward him off. So far, he had chewed at least two pairs of shoes, peed on the bathroom floor, shredded magazines and teamed up with the racoon to break into the trash can. He tried to go for what looked least expensive and easily replaceable, he wasn’t trying to be an asshole and destroy the guy’s life, but Tony just took it all in stride with grace.
Steve had to give it to him, Tony was a good guy. Despite everything Steve put him through, he never once lost his patience with his neighbor’s dog from hell. Some of it he seemed to find even adorable , and took countless pictures on that weird phone of his. It was probably one of his own designs. During his stays at Tony’s house, he had learned the guy was a genius, good enough to fix Bucky’s death trap of a motorcycle. He had set up a workshop of wonders to, presumably, work from home - Steve hadn’t noticed any fixed schedule that meant the guy had a job - in fact, he rarely left the house if not to walk Steve or alone on so few occasions that Steve could count in the fingers of one hand.
He also never had anyone over, and more than once Steve had to wonder why a guy like Tony lived like a hermit. He was very handsome (Steve was a dog, not blind), ridiculously smart, and really funny once one got used to his acid humor. He also seemed sad about it, Steve noticed.
Maybe that was why he and Bucky became so close so fast, out of loneliness and shared interests. This movie, for example, was trash in Steve’s opinion, he much preferred the classics. But the both of them loved it, not that they were paying much attention to it anyway, talking as they were during the movie, heads turned towards each other more than the TV, like they were in their own world where Steve was just a pet.
The thought that Tony and Bucky might be more suited to each other was overwhelming in those moments, and what was supposed to be a nice night for Bucky was turning into hell for Steve.
Jumping from the couch, he barked loudly, interrupting both of them. Bucky seemed to snap back to reality, turning to look at him with a puzzled face again, but Steve just growled, pacing in front of the door. He wanted out, and he wanted Bucky to go home with him and snuggle him under the blankets, to make love to him - he could force a transformation sometimes, if he wished hard enough, and right now he wished really hard to be a man again.
“What’s wrong, puppy?” Tony tried to talk to him, but Steve growled. He didn’t want Tony, he wanted Bucky to follow him.
“Stevie!” Bucky admonished, harsher than Tony, but got up from the couch, seeming to understand the message. Movie night was over.
----
“What the hell was that out there?” Bucky was whispering, much as he wanted to be yelling. But they were used to keeping it down, as it would be hard to explain why a guy was having a conversation with his dog, and the dog was somehow replying.
The change had occurred the moment they crossed the threshold of their apartment. Right now, he was standing naked in the middle of the living room.
“I felt the change coming” Steve said, and it was obviously a lie. Perks of knowing each other since childhood: They knew all of each other’s tells, and Steve was a particularly bad liar. Avoiding eye contact and chewing on his bottom lip was something he did when he was nervous, and right now he was doing both.
Bucky knew Steve couldn’t control it when the changes came, but it could be induced, although it took a lot out of him.
“That’s bullshit, don’t lie to me” He warned. “And what the hell was that aggression back there? Tony’s been taking care of you almost every day, even when you behave like an asshole, destroying his stuff and growling at him!”
“That guy has no manners, he was flirting with you right in front of me!” Steve vented, outraged, but somehow managing to keep it low hiss. “And you were flirting back!”
That struck Bucky silent. He wanted to be outraged at the implication, at the lack of trust Steve showed him, but he wasn’t exactly wrong. Bucky wasn’t as blind as to miss Tony’s obvious interest, but that was just that, harmless flirting, nothing beyond that would ever happen.
Except that it couldn’t be that harmless if it was hurting his boyfriend. Just earlier that night, he had flirted with Tony right in front of Steve, that was beyond disrespectful. No wonder he had forced a change.
They had come a long way to deal with the dog situation, but Steve still suffered from having to remain a dog for days, sometimes weeks on end, he still had insecurities and feared that, one day, Bucky would decide he wasn’t worth it and left.
Bucky knew those feelings very well, for those were the same things he felt when he had lost his arm. But Steve stood by him, and never once gave him reason to doubt him, very unlike what Bucky was doing right now.
Most of all, he felt incredibly guilty because he couldn’t deny he liked Tony. He liked his humor, liked his wit, and his kindness, and his generosity, even when he had nothing himself. Bucky could admit that maybe he had been flattered that a man who was all that and also damn handsome would be interested in him, and basked on it. But they were just friends, nothing would ever come out of it because he already had his Stevie.
“Stevie… I’m sorry” He started, approaching his boyfriend, cupping Steve’s face and touching their foreheads together. “I’m not leaving you, for Tony or for anyone else.”
At last, Steve nodded and leaned against his boyfriend, and Bucky wrapped his arms around him in assurance. “I love you. Till the end of the line, remember?”
Steve, for his part, squeezed him tight, close to his chest. “I’m sorry. I love you too. I didn’t want to be an asshole tonight”.
“That movie was trash anyway” He shrugged, leaning in for a kiss on his boyfriend. “Come on, punk. Bedroom”.
----
It was easy to forget, when they were together, the least appealing sides of their love. In the heat of the moment, Steve didn’t think about responsibilities, or the commitment to an uncertain future, and he made sure Bucky also didn’t think about anything past the “here” and “now”, as if the moment would last forever.
Waking up in the morning as a human, snuggled up against Bucky’s back while his boyfriend slept on, later than either of them usually did, after an intense round of lovemaking, was a rare delight, one that Steve wished that could last forever.
But once the time was up, he was no longer Steve Rogers, Bucky’s boyfriend who looked like a GQ model. He was just Stevie, the dog of unidentified breed Bucky had to take care of. This wasn’t like being a skinny and sickly kid - back then, for as short, sick and unappealing as he was, he was still human. Bucky took care of him, but they could still talk, hug, kiss, share the responsibilities of a real relationship.
What did he have to offer to Bucky now? One or two days every week (and sometimes not even that, for there were weeks he couldn’t come back), most of which Bucky would spend overworking himself to provide for both Steve and himself, because Steve couldn’t just become a small dog, he had to become the biggest one with a voracious appetite. A few days during the month, praying those would align with Bucky’s free days, because he couldn’t control that, and that drove him insane!
That was probably more than some long distance relationships got. But was it worth losing all of their friends to boot, because their friends would either be in danger if they found out what Steve was, or put them in danger? Was it worth the loneliness for Bucky?
Steve hadn’t felt so inadequate ever since he was a pipsqueak. He felt like a burden.
And then there was Tony . Tony, the gorgeous guy who was also smart, and funny, and a bit of an asshole, which was just Steve’s type, and looks like it might just be Bucky’s as well. Tony, with the marathons of sci-fi movies Bucky loved, and who put Bucky’s old motorcycle back together, and watched his fucking troublesome dog for him.
More importantly, Tony didn’t turn into a wolf. He could have a quiet breakfast in with Bucky, or go out and sit on a restaurant for lunch, and Bucky would have someone to talk to, he wouldn’t be depressingly alone with a dog who looked like the canine version of a very bad hair day. Bucky would never have to scoop Tony’s poop from the street.
He wasn’t such an asshole that he didn’t want Bucky to have friends again - God, months ago he’d have died just to see Bucky having the kind of easy camaraderie he had with the Howlies and, later, with the agents at SHIELD, just to see him smile carelessly again. But now that Tony was on the scene and Bucky was actually smiling again, Steve hated it, because Tony clearly had second intentions towards Bucky, and that would just end up in heartbreak - either for Bucky, when Tony eventually left him when he found out Bucky was taken, or for Steve, when Bucky finally got tired of dating a pet when he could have Tony.
If he was a better, less selfish person, he’d clear the path for Bucky’s happiness. If it wasn’t for Steve, maybe he could even reconnect with their friends, and they’d become Tony’s friends as well: He was sure Tony would get along with Peggy like a house on fire. The idea of being without Bucky, however, twisted his gut into knots, and he knew he could never follow through.
He thought that, maybe, if he was nice enough, caring enough during his human hours, then he’d be enough for Bucky. If he made the human hours count, maybe it would make it all worth it.
Sneaking out of bed with a brief kiss to his boyfriend’s hair, he put on one of Bucky’s boxer briefs and nothing else - wearing clothes again felt weird on his skin, he mused, making a straight line to the coffee maker. Bucky would be up soon, neither of them could sleep much once the sun had risen, and Steve wanted to surprise him with breakfast on bed when he did.
It had been a little too long since he last did something so mundane, enough that using hands instead of paws seemed… alien, he mused, standing in front of the stove to fry some bacon and eggs.
A knock on the door interrupted the process. It wasn’t so early that it would be considered bad manners to knock on someone else’s door, not that the only visitor they ever had minded such things as social etiquette. That tossed his relative good humor on the trash, to have reality literally knocking on the door first thing in the morning.
Therefore, he wasn’t proud of what he did, but proverbs said opportunity makes the thief, and the opportunity presented itself to give it real for Tony that Steve’s boyfriend was off limits.
Wearing nothing but Bucky’s underwear, Steve answered the door to find Tony on the other side, as predicted. The look of surprise on his face immediately lifted Steve’s mood, and he greeted him with smug satisfaction.
“May I help you?”