Chapter Text
At five years old Sherlock was certain of only one thing in his life; everyone around him was an ordinary and boring idiot. While Sherlock could read and write and solve equations, most of the children in his class were still eating glue and believed in things like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. Sherlock knew that he was smarter than all of them and most of his teachers, even if Mycroft did call him stupid all of the time. Friends were not something that Sherlock had ever needed or even considered an option. What good was the company of other people who were just going to be dull? But then a boy a few years older than him with blonde hair and bright blue eyes had watched him experimenting in the park. The boy had followed him around silently for a few minutes while Sherlock resolved to ignore him. It wasn’t as if he needed to be made fun of, and he acknowledged that boy would no doubt do just that. Then Sherlock heard a small voice say that was he was doing was fascinating. Sherlock turned around in genuine surprise at the boy.
“Fascinating? What is?” Sherlock asked, looking the other boy over. He was older than him, probably seven or eight, and was clearly new to the area.
“You’re trying to see which kind of dirt the worms like best, right?” The other boy asked, plunking himself down on the ground next to Sherlock and grinning at him. Sherlock watched him for a moment, shocked that he had figured that out.
“Yes, obviously.” Sherlock replied without any real irritation behind the words.
“Cool! I’m John, can I help?” Sherlock narrowed his eyes for a moment and studied him again before sighing and nodding his head.
“I’m Sherlock. And you can help as long as you don’t squish any of them.” He quickly got back to work, and John sat next to him. Every so often Sherlock would mutter and observation, and John would call it fascinating, or amazing. Once he even had said that Sherlock was brilliant. The younger boy decided that maybe having a friend around wouldn’t be so bad if it was John. Whenever anyone came and tried to bother him, John had stood up for Sherlock and told them all to go away. By the end of the day when they both had to go home, John had even given Sherlock his number so that they could play again--even though Sherlock had pointed out that they had been experimenting and not playing. John had just smiled and rolled his eyes, giving Sherlock a big hug.
“We’re going to be friends, Sherlock! Just wait and see.” John had said before letting him go and waving goodbye. Sherlock left the park that day feeling better than he ever had in his five short years. Friends. He had a friend. How strange.
* * * * * * *
When Sherlock was twelve, John presented. He called him at three in the morning sounding more excited than Sherlock had ever heard him.
“I’m an Alpha. I kind of can’t believe I know now, you know?” John whispered into the phone. Sherlock yawned and rolled his eyes, despite the fact John couldn’t see him.
“It was obvious that you were going to be an Alpha, John. You’re protective, strong, athletic, and you have a temper that no one wants to draw out.” Sherlock mumbled, turning over on his side and curling up into the blankets further for warmth. “I mean for god’s sake John. You once nearly killed someone because they called me an arse. I never had any doubts about what you would be.” John just chuckled on the other end of the line.
“That’s because I’m the only one who gets to call you an arse. Also, thanks for sharing your thinking with me. It would have been nice to know that.” Sherlock could hear John’s smile and it made him smile in return.
“John, for once I am actually sleeping. And we have school in the morning. Goodnight.” Sherlock said through another yawn.
“Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow. Goodnight, Sher.” When Sherlock heard the click of the line going dead he tossed his mobile back to the other side of the bed and drew the blankets tighter around him. John was an Alpha now; it was official. It was the beginning of their relationship changing. That thought made Sherlock’s stomach sink and there was a lump in his throat. He didn’t get any more sleep that night.
* * * * * * *
On the morning of his seventeenth birthday Sherlock had awoken in a pool of sweat. The covers had been tossed onto the floor along with most of his clothing, but yet the room was still stifling. Standing up, Sherlock stumbled across the room and into the bathroom, tripping on his own feet along the way. He splashed cold water onto his face in an effort to try and cool down but nothing was making the burn go away. Sherlock quickly stumbled over to the shower and turned it on, stripping out of what little clothing he had left and sitting down in the tub. The cold water washing over him was helping a bit, but he still felt wrong. His skin was too warm, his stomach hurt, and he felt completely empty. He leaned against the shower wall and closed his eyes so he could try to focus on breathing properly, but his vision went black.
Nearly an hour later he heard the distant voice of his brother trying to rouse him. It was too hot and he was so far away. Sherlock didn’t want to wake up. He wanted to sleep. Nothing hurt when he was asleep. He barely felt someone picking him up out of the tub, but he did remember complaining about the roughness of the towel against his skin. Then the arms were back and lifting him up and carrying him somewhere. He snuggled closer and pressed his nose against the person holding him and took a deep breath. That scent. It was familiar and yet far stronger than it should have been. It smelled amazing. He let out a content sigh seeing as his skin was cooling down.
“Hey, Sherlock. You’re going to be okay yeah? But you’ve got to stay with me. Bloody hell, I don’t even know if he can hear me.” Sherlock knew that voice but he couldn’t place it. The voice sounded worried but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t open his eyes. Suddenly they stopped moving and Sherlock was taken away from the comforting arms. There was commotion and beeping and so many noises around them. Sherlock then felt a stranger’s hand on him and something sharp stabbed into his neck.
“He’s going to be okay right?” He heard the voice ask, but it sounded distant. The noises were slowly silencing as well, until he was completely asleep.
* * * * * * *
The first time Sherlock woke up, he couldn’t open his eyes. There was beeping all around him, and he could hear muffled voices in the distance, however nothing specific. With nothing to alert anyone that he was awake, Sherlock quickly drifted back off.
The second time Sherlock woke up, it was slower. His eyes flickered open and it took a minute or so for his sight to adjust to the bright white ceiling. Hospital, his brain quickly supplied for him. Sherlock felt groggy and heavy and his limbs wouldn’t cooperate. Now that he was trying, he couldn’t speak either. Without much warning his eyes grew heavy again; so much so that Sherlock couldn’t even keep them open. He would have wondered why he couldn’t stay awake if he hadn’t fallen back asleep so quickly again.
The third time Sherlock woke up, he didn’t feel as strange as he had before. His eyes opened almost on their own. He knew this wasn’t like the other times. Sherlock let out a low groan and turned his head to the side, regretting it almost instantly. The action took much more energy than he had anticipated. Sherlock let out a whine and shut his eyes again. Why did everything hurt so much?
“Sherlock? Sherlock are you awake?” He heard John say in a panicked tone. Sherlock pried his eyes open again and tried to get his vision to focus. John looked worried. Like he hadn’t slept in days. The Alpha had bags under his eyes and lines on his face from where he’d been sleeping against the hospital chair.
“John?” He croaked out, his throat hurting from the sound. Sherlock wanted to reach out but there was suddenly a group of people around him. Somewhere in his brain Sherlock realised that they were checking his vitals and such, but he wanted them to just go away. Sherlock decided to shut his eyes until the doctors and nurses had finally gone away and it was just John in the room with him.
“Sherlock. I’m so glad you’re awake. You scared me so much.” John muttered and came closer, reaching out to grab onto Sherlock’s hand.
“What happened?” Sherlock asked, looking up at him. He’d never seen John this worried before, and he was in a hospital bed. Something bad must have happened.
“You presented. You went into heat.” John said with a small smile, brushing his thumb along Sherlock’s hand. “Your body didn’t react very well, though. You got sick and passed out. I was over to wish you a happy birthday and...you hadn’t come out of the shower yet. Mycroft and I were worried and he went upstairs to check on you. God, Sherlock. Seeing you like that. I was so scared.” John’s voice seemed strained and his eyes were watery. There was an emotion on John’s face that Sherlock couldn’t place.
“I’m okay now.” Sherlock mumbled, even though he wasn’t sure that was true. John nodded however which put Sherlock’s mind slightly at ease.
“I carried you into the car. And to the hospital. I wouldn’t let you go, they had to sedate me too so that they could even get to you. But you’re okay now. They stopped your heat. They gave you suppressants. You’re going to be alright.” John’s voice was only growing more strained and Sherlock didn’t know what to do. He gripped onto the Alpha’s hand in an effort to help ground him.
“That’s a good thing right? I’ll be okay.” Sherlock said quietly, attempting to smile. After a moment John seemed to right himself. He pulled the chair over to sit closer to Sherlock, not letting go of his hand.
“You’re going to be fine. The doctor’s said that your body didn’t react to the heat well. It was too strong. They’ve put you on suppressants for now, but it won’t last forever. You’re…” John shook his head and didn’t finish the sentence. While Sherlock wanted to press the issue, he was too tired.
“Stay with me?” Sherlock asked, pulling John’s hand closer to him and closing his eyes. John’s presence was calming in a way it hadn’t been before. It was safe.
“Of course, Sherlock. I’ll always stay with you.” John replied softly as Sherlock drifted back off to sleep once more.
* * * * * * *
“He needs a mate.”
“He can’t stay like this. It will make him too ill.”
“The suppressants won’t hold him off for long. A year, at the most.”
“He’s only just turned seventeen.”
“Isn’t there someone? Anyone? There are services to use.”
Sherlock was curled up in his hospital bed, listening to the doctors and nurses outside of his room. It was obvious they were talking about him. And while it was in hushed voices, he could hear every word. From the supposedly soothing tones of the hospital staff, to the frantic and strained voice of his parents. They were going to find him a mate. The only way to make sure that his heats wouldn’t kill him was to mate him. The entire idea was ridiculous to Sherlock, but it wasn’t as if he could argue. His heats were simply too strong. And without the attention and care from an Alpha, he could go into shock again. Being an Omega sucked, he decided.
Turning over, Sherlock saw that John was still there with him. The Alpha was fast asleep in the chair next to Sherlock’s bed, just like he had been the past two days. In the morning, they would let him go home. In the morning, his parents would start to look for a mate for him and he would no longer have a say. Sherlock knew exactly the type of mate that they would pick for him as well; rich, prominent, and no doubt mature. It was everything that Sherlock never wanted in a mate. He wanted to go to university to study. There was no way that Sherlock would waste his future to be some barefoot and pregnant housewife.
Sherlock was relieved when the doctors and his parents left, leaving him and John alone once again. He watched John’s chest rise and fall with each breath. He watched the way that John’s brow creased with something resembling worry, but yet how peaceful he looked. For the first time, Sherlock allowed himself to acknowledge the fact that he could be in love with his best friend. John was an Alpha, and he was an Omega. It was perfect, wasn’t it? Except for the fact that he and John would never be together. They couldn’t be. With the circumstances how they were, Sherlock’s parents wouldn’t allow it. John was twenty. He was in university and studying to be a doctor. The last thing that he needed was an Omega to look after. And besides, it wasn’t like he would want Sherlock even if he was looking to settle down. They were best friends, and nothing more.
But Sherlock wanted more. He wanted to be wrapped up in John’s arms so that he could feel safe and secure. Because those were the things he was feeling least of all at that moment. He couldn’t be mated to someone that wouldn’t care about him. That would keep him locked up like a trophy. He had to get away. Before they could mate him. Before he didn’t have a choice. Before it was too late.
“John.” Sherlock whispered, trying to rouse the sleeping man. John cracked one eye open to look briefly at Sherlock before closing it again.
“What is it Sher?” He asked, stretching his neck and moving into a more comfortable position.
“Thank you. For staying. For being here. I….don’t leave.” It was a plea that meant so much more to Sherlock than John probably realised. It was Sherlock asking John to never leave him. He couldn’t face being with someone else. “Please.”
“I’d never leave you Sherlock. It’s what friends are for.” With those words Sherlock’s heart broke just a bit. He’d have to leave. And it would have to be on his own. John wouldn’t come with him, that much he knew. He couldn’t stay here though. He couldn’t be mated and just waste away. He needed to be so much more than that.
“I’m sorry.” Sherlock muttered, reaching out to grab John’s hand as he closed his eyes. He didn’t know when, but soon he would have to make his escape. He’d have to leave John behind. And being without John was a scary thought. Something he never thought he would have to face.
“I’m so, so sorry.”