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When Magnus drops to the floor, all previous thoughts are wiped from Alec’s mind. His heart is beating furiously as his mind is trying to catch up with the situation. He rushes to Magnus’ side, his hands trying to stop him from trashing. Alec can feel the panic taking over.
Shadowhunters don’t panic.
But right now he isn’t Alec: The Shadowhunter. He’s not Alec: The Head of the New York Institute. He’s just Alec, he’s Alexander , and the love of his life is convulsing on the floor.
Alec shouts towards the open door because they need help and he can’t leave Magnus alone. He’s barely aware of the words that leave his mouth, his focus on Magnus.
“Help! Someone call Catarina Loss! We need help in here!”
Alec isn’t fully aware of the things that are happening around him but he hears footsteps behind him and then someone is talking. He hears the name Catarina and the voice he hears brings him comfort. He knows the voice. He trusts that voice. Help is coming.
It’s not normally like this. He’s usually the one injured or in need of healing. Is this how Magnus has felt whenever Alec has gotten himself in trouble? No, it’s not the same, because where Magnus has been able to help with his magic, Alec has to kneel there on the floor feeling more useless than he has ever felt in his life. He’s babbling, words leaving his mouth without consulting his brain.
“Magnus. You’ll be okay. Help is coming. I won’t lose you. Magnus. It’s going to be okay. ”
The first time when Alec actually feels like that is when gentle hands turn his head away from Magnus, forcing him to focus on a friendly face. Catarina’s words are slow and clear when she asks him to move away.
His hands are immediately off Magnus, because help is here. The sooner Catarina can start the better Magnus’ chances are.
Alec doesn’t move far though, staying on the floor near Magnus’ head, keeping his attention on Magnus’ face when Catarina scans his body with light blue magic.
It feels like forever before Magnus’ face relaxes, his whole body slumping. Alec’s eyes snap quickly to Catarina. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? But the way Cat is leaning back on her haunches, her hands on her thighs as she takes in a relieved breath, settles some of the panic Alec can still feel.
Alec’s heart nearly leaps to his throat when Magnus’ eyes snap open, frantic eyes trying to take in his surroundings as he gasps for a breath like a man who’s been stuck underwater. His eyes focus on Alec, wide and scared as he looks up from his position on the floor.
“Alec.”
It’s the best word Alec has heard the whole day, it’s quite possibly the best and most important time he’s ever heard his name being uttered. He reaches his hand towards Magnus’, moving to his side so that Magnus can see him better.
He finally feels like he’s doing something, even though it’s only holding Magnus’ hand and providing comfort. The fingers of his other hand are softly brushing against the back of Magnus’ palm, trying to sooth him with his actions because he feels too shocked for words.
The grip Magnus has on Alec’s hand is tight even as Magnus eyes’ flick to Catarina on his other side, and it’s saying something about the seriousness of the situation that Cat doesn’t give him any comment about how she had to save him, but smiles warmly instead. A flick of her hand makes the blood on Magnus’ face disappear - like it was never there.
The marks this left to Alec are far more difficult to erase, as it feels like the fear that had gripped his heart had held it tightly enough to bruise. It will take time for him to wrap his head around the fact that Magnus is okay now, and he hopes that Magnus knows that he’s not letting go of his hand anytime soon.
Somehow he feels like Magnus won’t mind.