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just like he did
just like he did
just like he did
just like he did
it was like a record scratch, stuck on repeat until it was turned off. or in hansol’s case, until he shut down.
joshua had already gotten him to a calmer spot, away from him, but the panic had already set in.
he felt like he couldn’t breathe. it was as if the air was stuck in his throat, never reaching his lungs properly. it hurt like hell, and hansol couldn’t stop thinking about what had just happened.
soon, he was sent back into the memories. the memories of all the things he had done to hansol. the touches burned into his skin, the screams echoing in his ears, the fear was rushing back. it was like he was a kid again.
he wasn’t in the room joshua had brought him into anymore. he was in his old home, and he was being touched and yelled at and hit all over again. it was hansol’s worst nightmare coming alive.
he couldn’t even feel the streams of tears pouring down his cheeks, the sobs sputtering from his mouth, his whole body shaking and curled into a ball. he was just numb. being forced to relive all the old memories, tortured by his own brain.
the way the manager hit him had been just like he did.
and hansol couldn’t take it. he couldn’t be in the same room as him, so how could he handle being hit like that?
it was all interrupted when hansol heard a faint ‘hansol, please baby, i’m right here, you’ll be okay, i’m right here’.
he kept hearing it. it kept getting louder. he didn’t know where it was coming from, but he soon felt pulled out of his reach, and back into reality.
hansol could breathe again. he slowly opened his eyes to see joshua holding him, tears threading to spill from the oldest eyes.
“josh..” hansol managed to say through choked sobs.
“i’m right here sol, i’m here for you baby”
hansol kept trying to regulate his breathing, trying to stop the tears streaming from his eyes.
“it’s okay baby, you can let it out.”
hansol curled into the older boy, letting himself sob into his shirt.
this was all hansol needed, he needed to be safe.
and there he was, with josh. he was safe.