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Aaron didn’t remember when, exactly, he learned what the name on his wrist had meant. It had always been there and his mother never brought it up. If he had to trace it back to anything, it was probably in grade school, when their teachers told them some fairy tale about how everyone had that one perfect person and their names were written somewhere on their body in black, but if the soulmate were to…disappear (later, Aaron knew that would mean they died, but his first grade teacher wasn’t about to explain death to them), the name would turn white, like a ghost or something.
Soulmates didn’t always stay together or get together at all…they weren’t always a perfect match. Aaron found that out, the hard way, when his mother was screaming at him one day. His father (Aaron still didn’t know his name) had been his mother’s soulmate and had been abusive towards her and then disappeared right after she told him she was pregnant.
After that, Aaron didn’t believe in soulmates. It was some system, put in place, to get everyone together. That belief furthered when he met Eric Raleigh. Eric didn’t believe in soulmates either, said that his soulmate was an “drunken idiot” and left it at that. Aaron never thought to ask, Eric didn’t want to talk about it.
Aaron was hopelessly in love with Eric and a part of him always would be. He learned to ignore the name on his wrist because…well, he didn’t want to think about it, especially after the world ended. He’d seen so many names fade to white, Eric’s included.
Aaron tried not to even look at his wrist, most days. He didn’t want to wake up one morning and find out that Paul Monroe had died without even meeting him.
A part of himself, deep, deep down, still believed in the fairytale, he guessed. That when they touched for the first time, he wouldn’t have to know Paul’s name…he’d just know it was his soulmate. That after they met, even without touching, he’d still feel that pull to him.
When Aaron met Daryl, he thought even more about Paul Monroe. Could they end up like Daryl and his soulmate, if they were to meet?
Daryl frequently kept his shoulders covered, Aaron later found out it wasn’t because he was ashamed of the name, but ashamed of the scars from his father, who died at the beginning of everything.
Aaron probably would have killed Will Dixon, given the chance, for harming someone as sweet as Daryl.
Daryl actually ended up telling him and Eric, eventually, one night. They were sitting in the living room in Alexandria, bullshitting and drinking, when his eyes fell on Aaron’s wrist. Aaron had went to cover it, but Daryl just said one simple sentence.
“Rick’s names on my shoulder…don’t worry about it, don’t mean ya gotta be married to ‘em.”
Aaron had a million questions running through his head in that moment; how did he feel about Rick being with Michonne? How was he so close to his soulmate but didn’t want to be with him? Just…how?
Daryl didn’t say anything else that night, and that was that.
Aaron didn’t like to assume anything, but Daryl had implied many times that he was asexual. But after that, he noticed how he and Rick worked together so well. They were close, they were family, Daryl even lived with the Grimes family, in his own room. They moved practically in-sync with each other on the battlefield and trusted each other.
So when Rick and Daryl brought that Jesus guy back to Alexandria, he trusted their judgement. Well, he trusted Daryl’s…so in a way, he trusted Rick’s too.
“We can work with the Hilltop,” Rick had said, in the church, the day after they had made the trip to see the Hilltop for themselves…but they did bring Jesus back with them, so Aaron wondered about a lot of things in the new, unknown settlement, “Maggie hammered out a deal. We’re getting food; eggs, butter, fresh vegetables. But they’re not just giving it away.”
A catch. There was always a catch, in this world.
“These Saviors,” Rick had said, like they were just some random enemy, at the time, “They almost killed Sasha, Abraham, and Daryl, on the road.”
In that moment, Aaron knew why Rick wanted to go after these guys, aside from the deal. He could see it, in his eyes…just like the day he saw it, when Daryl was fighting with Pete Anderson. Pure rage, at someone hurting his soulmate.
“Now, sooner or later they would have found us,” Rick explained, like he was defending the three of them, “Just like those wolves did…just like Jesus did,” he said, nodding to him.
Jesus gave them an awkward smile, from where he was sitting beside Rick.
“They woulda killed someone, or some of us,” Rick said, like it was inevitable that this guy would have just stumbled upon Alexandria, “They would try to own us…and we would try to stop them. But then, in that kind of fight, low on food? We could lose.”
Aaron glanced over to where Daryl was watching Rick, nodding slightly, like he was ready to go just because Rick said the word.
“This is the only way to be sure,” Rick finished, “As sure as we can get, that we can win. And we have to win. We do this for the Hilltop, it’s how we keep this place. It’s how we feed this place. This needs to be a group decision. If anyone objects, here’s your chance to say your piece.”
Daryl immediately looked around, a silent threat, but Morgan still stood up.
“You’re sure we can do it?” Morgan asked, “We can beat ‘em?”
“What this group has done, what we’ve learned, what we’ve become, all of us…yes, I’m sure,” Rick said.
“Then all we have to do is just tell them that,” Morgan said.
“They don’t compromise.”
“This isn’t a compromise. It’s a choice you give them. It’s a way out, for them and for us.”
“We try to talk to the Saviors, we give up our advantage, our safety.”
Morgan and Rick went back and forth for a while, but Aaron wasn’t really listening. He was trying to get a read on this Jesus guy, staring at him. He looked like he’d seen some shit, but they all had. But at the very mention of the Saviors, he was tense…and he’d definitely seen some shit with them.
Aaron stood up, immediately, at the thought, without thinking. He had to find something to say, for a moment, but then he spoke up, “What happened here, we won’t let that happen again,” he said, looking at Jesus now, “I won’t.”
Aaron walked out of the church, and immediately saw Eric, leaning against the side of the building, despite the crutches. He pushed himself off when he saw Aaron walk out and walked with him.
“What do you make of it all?” Eric asked.
“I think we should do it…to protect this place,” Aaron told him.
“Yeah, I heard,” Eric said, raising an eyebrow, “What do you make of that Jesus guy? Religious nut gone wrong?”
“Doubtful,” Aaron said quietly, “We’ve dealt with that before, he’s different. I think we can trust him.”
Eric just nodded, “I know you’re going to know, so you better be safe and radio when you’re on your way back so I can make dinner.”
“Not with your ankle, Eric,” Aaron sighed.
“We’ll have wine,” Eric said simply, making Aaron laugh at his stubbornness.
The war started after that. They lost so many people and it hurt, it hurt them all. And while he lost people, lost Eric, he gained a daughter…a daughter he never thought he’d have. And he was going to do right by her, raise her right, despite this awful world.
After working with them for a while, especially after Maggie took over, Aaron decided to move them to the Hilltop. Jesus was teaching children’s self-defense classes there and there were other classes going on as well, and he wanted that for Gracie.
It was hard living in his and Eric’s old house, anyways.
Daryl lived in Hilltop too. It was the first time he’d seen him away from Rick for a long period of time, but it didn’t seem to be bothering him. Rick, was another story. He was irritable as all hell and didn’t take the news of him moving well. Sure, he was all wishing him well and smiles about it, but Aaron could see behind his eyes that there were…something, with Daryl gone.
He never could figure that relationship out, despite how close he was with Daryl.
Daryl greeted them at Hilltop with a hug and a piggy-back ride into Barrington House for Gracie.
“Welcome home,” Maggie said, the moment he walked into the office doors with Gracie, “She’s gotten so big, my gosh.”
“She’s growing too fast for her own good,” Aaron laughed, immediately hugging her, “How are you? How’s Hershel?”
“We’re good, he’s a little stinker, but we can manage,” Maggie said, nodding to where Jesus was helping Hershel to walk over to meet Gracie. He could walk, he just looked a little shaky, so Jesus held his hand as he did.
Aaron hated that he found the other man attractive. Eric had been gone for almost two years now, yes, but it didn’t seem like enough time had passed. It felt like it was only yesterday that he was gone.
He supposed Jesus was just objectively attractive to most people. Nice guy, pretty eyes, all that. He seemed like the type of guy Aaron would have fallen for in college.
“Nice to see you,” Jesus said, giving him a smile when he and Hershel finally managed to make their way over and Daryl sat Gracie down so she could see him as well.
“Nice to see you too,” Aaron said, giving him a smile, pretending not to notice Jesus’ eyes linger slightly, before he went back to Hershel.
Aaron found out a lot over the next week at the Hilltop.
One; they were sharing trailers because Jesus’ trailer had an extra room, so Gracie could have to her own and Aaron was staying on the pull out couch in the living room. Two; Jesus was in a very overdramatic, turbulent relationship until the beginning of the war, and now he had an ex who was hanging on despite Jesus trying desperately to shake him off. Three; Jesus was definitely gay. Four; Jesus was Maggie’s right-hand, in a sense. It mostly meant doing odd jobs for her, that she was too busy to do; filing papers, keeping things in line, occasionally watching Hershel in her office while she worked.
Oh, and five; Jesus was great with kids. Maggie had mumbled to Aaron, once, when he was watching him play with the kids, a curious look on his face, that Jesus grew up in a group home and he’d had a million “siblings” to take care of because the system’s caretakers were never the best.
It wasn’t until he heard Daryl snapping at him, that he ever found out the man’s first name.
“Fuck you, Paul!”
“Bite me, Dixon.”
“In your dreams.”
“Damn right,” Jesus- no Paul had responded with a wiggle of his eyebrows as Daryl scoffed and stalked away.
Aaron didn’t even know what the two were fighting about, but it didn’t matter. There we’re plenty of Paul’s in the world…he didn’t know if that was him, if that was the Paul.
Aaron pulled up his sleeve and glanced down at the name on his wrist for the first time in a long time and saw the text was still in black, so he hadn’t died.
“Your name is Paul?” Aaron asked.
“Oh, yeah,” J- Paul laughed quietly, dusting himself off after picking up a crate Daryl had basically kicked over in his rage, “I guess with everything going on, we never really got a proper introduction,” he held out a gloved hand, “Paul Rovia…you can still call me Jesus though.”
Aaron deflated a little at that, but still shook his hand, “Aaron Ral…I, uh…Aaron Clark, now, I guess. Eric and I were never actually legally married.”
Paul just nodded solemnly, “Yeah…sorry, I feel that though. Good think about the next world is that gay marriage is finally legal. Only took the apocalypse to make it happen though.”
Aaron laughed quietly and Paul soon disappeared, up to the roof of Barrington last he checked, because Alex had come looking for him.
There was a party on New Years Eve and Aaron found him up there, once again, after he’d put Gracie to bed. He’d been in the attic, taking a moment to himself, when he looked to the window and saw it cracked open slightly. When he approached, he saw Paul sitting on the roof, an almost-empty bottle in his hand.
He immediately opened the window up and crawled out, “Just me,” he said, sensing his friend’s alarm.
“Oh…hi,” Paul said quietly. He was still in his clothes from the party, a white button-up shirt with the first few unbuttoned, a pair of jeans, with his hair up in a bun. He did look gorgeous, in the moonlight.
“You okay?” Aaron asked.
“Yeah,” Paul said, sniffling slightly and wiping his nose on his arm.
“You should at least have a coat on, with this snow,” Aaron said, “C’mon, let’s go inside. I’ll get you home.”
“Yeah,” Paul said quietly, “Yeah, okay.”
They all went through stuff, from time to time. PTSD wasn’t rare in this world, with everything going on. Aaron had seen Paul have panic attacks before, but never got the courage to help him through it. Paul seemed content on helping himself through it, so he didn’t want to interrupt.
Aaron helped him downstairs, ignoring the partygoers in the common room, and went out the front door, down the steps, and back to their trailer.
“C’mon, let’s get you out of these clothes and in bed,” Aaron said, helping him into his room, “Christ, you’re freezing.”
“Christ is the name, don’t wear it out,” Paul snickered, flopping back on the bed.
Aaron sighed and started untying his shoes, throwing them off. He found some clothes tossed on Paul’s mess of a desk, that looked like sleep clothes, so he grabbed them. He felt himself blush a little, but went to help Paul with his pants, only to have the other man grab his wrists immediately, with reflexes way too good for a drunk man.
Paul stared at him for a moment before letting him go.
“Sorry, I just…wanted to help,” Aaron said, looking confused, “It’s just me, man.”
“Yeah,” Paul said quietly, “Took me a minute…not at my best,” he laughed quietly, staring up at the ceiling, “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Aaron said quietly, unbuttoning his pants. He stopped slightly, when he saw long scars all across his side, but didn’t say anything as he helped him with the pajama pants.
“You can call me Paul, y’know,” Paul said, words slurring together slightly, but Aaron could still tell what he was saying.
“I thought you said your friends call you Jesus,” Aaron laughed, helping him with his shirt.
“Nah,” Paul said, sitting up, and whispering like it was some big secret, “Jesus is the mask, Paul Rovia’s the person,” he pointed to his own face, but missed a little, “Everyone likes Jesus, not too many people like Paul.”
“I like Paul just fine,” Aaron said quietly, going to help him take his hair out of the bun, but his hand froze when he saw Paul’s soulmate’s name behind his ear, in black.
Aaron Clark
“Paul has baggage,” he said quietly, knowing he saw it, “Lots of it. He’s not very reliable and you should probably steer clear.”
“I don’t…understand…” Aaron trailed off in shock, “You said-”
“Changed my name when I was eighteen, didn’t want anything to do with the birth parents,” Paul explained quietly, “Paul Monroe, born to Ron and Ann Monroe…supposedly, they don’t really know who my dad was when mom left me with them.”
Aaron swallowed, “Paul-”
“Nothing has to change,” Paul whispered, taking his hair down from the bun himself, struggling a little, “Look at Rick and Daryl, we can just….we don’t…” he trailed off, frustrated and drunk, flopping back on the bed.
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow,” Aaron said quietly, “You need to rest.”
Paul just huffed and turned, hiding his face from him in the pillow.
Aaron had things to add to his list of things he learned about the Hilltop.
Six; Jesus’ name was Paul.
Seven; Paul was his soulmate.
And he didn’t know what to think about that.
Paul didn’t appear until afternoon the next day, but didn’t look at all hungover. He looked tired, yes, but still….pretty.
Gracie was already in class and Aaron was sitting in the living room when he came out.
Paul crossed his arms, “Look-”
“You knew and you didn’t tell me,” Aaron said quietly, “You knew we were soulmates and you lied about your last name.”
“My last name is legal, I didn’t lie,” Paul snapped at him, but sat down beside him on the couch anyways.
“You know what I mean,” Aaron sighed, “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“Aaron, you just lost your husband when we even spoke for the first time,” Paul deadpanned, “What did you want me to say? Hey, sorry about Eric, BTW I’m your soulmate? No,” he sighed, “Then we became friends and so much time passed and it just…it never seemed like the right time,” he swallowed, “And you don’t…” he took a shaky breath, “Aaron, you don’t want to be with me.”
“I do,” Aaron said immediately, “I want to at least try, Paul.”
Paul sighed, putting his head back on the couch and closing his eyes, “Aaron, I have enough baggage to fill up an entire cart at an airport,” he said, “You don’t…want that, just trust me.”
Then Aaron kissed him. It was soft, brief, just a peck on the lips, but it meant something.
Paul had kissed back, at the very end, right before he pulled away.
“I do want this,” Aaron told him, “I want to give it a shot, Paul. It’s the next world…things are different. Let’s leave the baggage at the airport, yeah?”
Paul stared at him and snickered, “You’re such a dad, Aaron,” he said, “Only you would make stupid dad jokes after our first kiss.”
“What can I say, I’m a man on many talents,” Aaron laughed quietly and then got serious again, “I want to give you a chance, Paul…are you willing to give me one?”
Paul stared at him for a moment, before just nodding, “Yeah,” he said quietly, “Yeah…let’s give it a shot.”