Chapter Text
Theseus knocked, careful to be just loud enough for her to hear it. If she was able to overhear him, he wouldn’t know if the possible lack of a response would be due to the fact that she didn’t want him in or that she actually hadn’t heart him. In which case he would need to knock again, creating a possibly uncomfortable situation for the upset girl.
A few seconds passed by and he already considered leaving again, when Leta answered „Yes?“
He opened the door and peeked in the room. „Can I come in?“
She looked at him in surprise, then put on an automated smile. „Yes, of course.“
Theseus wasn’t sure if she let him in because she wanted to or if she was just too polite to say no in a house she didn’t technically live in, so he stayed close to the door.
„I am sorry for Newt’s behavior.“
„No, no, it’s okay.“, she lowered her eyes and starred at the pillow in her arms. „It wasn’t your fault, it had nothing to do … it’s fine, really. I’m fine.“ She gave him a quick smile.
For a second he wasn’t sure what to say. He knew she was lying - he knew it wasn’t okay. But she also didn’t understand what he meant to apologize for and he had to search for the right words to explain it.
„It didn’t mean nothing to you, I know that. I don’t want to rant about Newt or anything. It wasn’t nice how he behaved, but I wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean it in a mean or ignorant way. He always disappears into this world of his and then he comes across rude and insensitive. He didn’t realize he was hurting you with what he said, he would never want that, he just doesn’t know any better. That doesn’t mean in any way that you don’t have a right to be upset, I just thought it might help to understand what happened.“
As he looked at her again, Leta had looked up as well and something had changed in her eyes. She had listened. For a few seconds they just looked at each other, before Theseus pulled himself together.
„Yes, that’s all, I just thought it might help. I’m gonna go downstairs again, but if you …“
„Thank you.“, she said and her voice sounded so soft, filled with so much more honesty than when she tried to be polite and hide her feelings.
„I just hope this helps.“
„A little.“, she nodded after a second of hesitation. He wasn’t sure if that second was due to doubt or because she didn’t know him and that they had never really talked before. „I mean, I know Newt and I know how he has this other world and I know I shouldn’t be upset about it, but it’s just …“
„You are allowed to feel upset about it.“, he interrupted her, regretting it the exact moment and blushing. „I’m sorry, go on.“
„Yes … yes, I guess.“ She smiled about that thought, but it was a sad smile. And this sprinkle of sadness, Theseus thought, may be the most honest aspect of her. „I should probably not be upset however, that would make things easier.“ He bit his tongue to not interrupt her again. „But, I mean, I know all this about Newt and I still can’t handle it and … it is good to hear it from someone else. From someone who knows him better.“
She paused and he guessed it was his turn again. „I thought so too. But also, as someone who’s living with and caring about Newt for quite some time, can I give you this advice?“
When she looked up and nodded, it didn’t seem like just another polite gesture.
„Can I come in?“, he asked again, as he was still standing next to the door. He had the feeling that by now she would give him an honest response.
She nodded and made some space on Newt’s bed, where he could sit down, holding on to his grandma’s embroidered pillow. He took a second to search for the right words, as this was an important matter for both of them.
„This thing, that he stops listening to you and drifts into his own world and just shuts you out, it does happen a lot when you live together. It used to upset me a lot - and it still does.“, he admitted. „I love him a lot and it’s just … it’s like he shuts the door right in your face with big capital letters written on it saying ‚Stay away’. Of course it hurts and I see that he does the same to you.“ He gave a quick look. She seemed to listen, to care about what he said. „But when this happens, I try to remind myself that it’s not his fault and that it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love me. He does, he just has a very different way of showing it.“ He paused for a second, then added, „Sometimes I’m not even sure he knows that himself.“ Theseus knew that Newt loved him. He was a more than a hundred percent sure of it, no matter how Newt acted.He wished one day Newt would know that as well. „With Newt it's not hugs and presents and kind words and sometimes you wouldn’t even believe he’s a Hufflepuff. But then he shows you his creatures and he trusts you to know about them, to not hurt them, he lets you into this world that only he knows … and I try to remember that whenever he shuts me out. I remind myself of how he let me be in the same room as he was reading and he didn’t ask me to leave, even though he said not a single word.“ He looked down at the floor. „It hurts, when he acts like today, but it makes it even more precious whenever he wants you to be around.“, he added, smiling again. „I think that’s important to remember.“
He looked her in the eyes and she seemed to understand, but it took a moment until she replied, „A few weeks after we met newt found me upset after a class and he told me to come with him. And he didn’t say anything else except for that I should follow him and then he showed me this tree where the bowtruckles lived in. He even tried to make one climb on my hand.“ She smiled at that memory.
Theseus waited a second if she was going to tell more, then he said, „That is exactly what I mean. It doesn’t seem that important or big if you look at it, but in a way it really is.“
She nodded and the smile on her face became deeper, but also sad again, as she was thinking about it. „Yeah, it did help.“
Theseus sat quiet next to her, as she remembered that afternoon. He wondered what had happened before that she needed to be cheered up and that that possibly also was the reason for the subtle sadness with which she was looking at the embroidery.
After a long time, he decided and said, „If you want to tell me about what happened in that class that day, you can and I will listen to you. But I will not ask you now. If there is anything you want to talk about with someone, feel free to do so, but you are in no way obligated to anything.“
She looked at him for a long moment and even though she said „Thank you“ in the most honest way and her eyes said the same, there was this tiny sprinkle of fear. Theseus didn’t believe that it was meant for him, but nevertheless it was enough for him to know that there was something else and that his offer wasn’t meaningless. There was something she needed to talk about and maybe one day she would decide to do so. Maybe to him, maybe to someone else.
„Do you want to go downstairs again? We could try to get rid of some more cookies?“
She thought about it, but then took his hand and smiled. „That’s a nice idea. Thank you, Theseus.“
„Thank you, Leta.“, he said earnest and together they went downstairs again, leaving the yellow pillow behind.