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To the surprise of everyone that didn’t know her and despite her competition, the one most likely to get into a bar fight of the Konoha Twelve was Tenten.
Mind you, it wasn’t that she had set out her adult life with the intention of becoming the one most likely to be involved in a bar fight. In fact, she preferred to think of herself as doing a public service: she wasn’t starting bar fights, she was finishing them.
Admittedly, her competition was rather cut down by the fact that some people weren’t stupid enough to go against certain people’s desires.
(“Try starting a bar fight,” Sakura snarled, slowly cracking her knuckles. “I swear to God that you’ll be using all of last mission’s pay to fix this bar’s wall after you go through it.”
“Sakura be reasonable!” Naruto yelped, waving his arms and diving behind Sasuke. “The last mission was an A-rank and I haven’t had any Ichiraku with it yet!”
Sasuke said nothing but after eyeing her hands for a couple seconds, he slowly sat back down. Sakura bare her teeth in a victorious smile.)
Nonetheless, if there was a shinobi bar and there was a fight, there was mostly likely Tenten in the middle, laughing and stabbing.
“Are there any bars you haven’t been kicked out of yet?” Ino asked, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder as she inspected her nails. She idly slid out a kunai to pick some blood out from under her nails. “I was thinking we should celebrate.”
Tenten stretched to the sky and yawned. “Kicked out or banned?” she asked, slowly rotating her neck. The mission hadn’t actually been that difficult and they weren’t due back until later tonight. It was nice to walk slowly through the redwoods instead of frantically running away from missing nin the way her missions usually ended. “Maybe Momo’s?” she added thoughtfully.
Hinata hummed in disagreement, “No, my cousin had to bail you out that time remember?” Hinata did a quick, cursory scan of the trees; this close to Konoha there wasn’t much a point but it was better safe than sorry. “I remember because Lee-san woke everyone up with his crying.”
“Yeah!” Tenten said brightly, clearly remembering the fight judging by the rather vicious glee on her face. “That was a good one!” Hinata shook her head silently, remembering Neji’s grumbling over dinner and quiet threats to abandon her in jail. To exactly no one’s surprise, he hadn't abandoned her. However, the Hyuuga training grounds hadn’t exactly recovered from the very (physical) lecture that Neji had dealt out. Hinata had to push feeling back into both of Tenten’s arms afterwards. “So not Momo’s,” Tenten added, turning back to Ino.
Judging her nails perfect, Ino slipped her kunai back into her pouch. “They have terrible cocktails anyway,” she said, sniffing delicately. She also remembered the fight. She also remembered the shinobi that had actually had the gall to look Tenten dead in the eye while maligning one of the Konoha Twelve. Honestly, he had served himself on a platter. “I’ll try looking into shinobi friendly civilian bars.”
The rest of the rather relaxed walk back passed in silence, all three girls focusing on how to phrase the mission. Ino had a detail oriented, picture perfect mission report mentally written, weighing the intelligence received with what they encountered; she wondered if she should verbally eviscerate the idiot that handled their mission intel or just embarrass them in public. Hinata focused on a succinct but exact accounting of the mission with possible ramifications politically. Tenten wondered if Kakashi would still stamp her mission if she just listed the weapons used and the body count. She rather optimistically thought he would; after all, the lackadaisical nature of his past mission reports were still a thing of legend. She was aiming to beat it. Or rather, she was aiming to beat it for any mission reports that didn’t have Neji and Lee breathing down her neck.
“Oiii, Izumo, Kotetsu!” Tenten greeted cheerfully as they stepped through the gates.
“Tenten, Yamanaka, Hyuuga!” they greeted, waving from their spot on wall duty. “How was the mission!”
“Ugh, it was hell on my hair,” Ino complained, brushing her fingers through her ponytail. “I’m going to have to go through so much shampoo.” She grimaced when her fingers returned flaked with dried blood.
“Ino, that’s because you slit that guy’s throat with your back to him,” Tenten pointed out in what she thought was a reasonable tone. “You really should think about doing something else with it. Maybe you should cut it?”
Ino gaped, her jaw dropping. “My hair?” she confirmed, eyes wide. Tenten nodded, shrugging. Ino glared daggers into Tenten’s back. “A Yamanaka cut their hair short,” she snarled, snapping her eyes to Hinata. “Ugh, as if!” Hinata giggled quietly, one hand raising to delicately cover her smile. “Hinata, tell her!”
“Tenten, we both know your hair’s even longer,” Hinata said, once her giggles faded. All three vaguely waved to the chuunins as the continued on to Hokage tower. “What if Ino said you had cut your hair?”
Tenten clutched her buns, eyes wide. Passing civilians gave her a wide berth, whispering to each other about how very strange kunoichi were. Necessary but so very strange. “No!” she hissed. One arm stayed covering her hair while the other twitched toward her weapons pouch. “No!” she said a little more insistently.
Ino and Hinata laughed, hands coming up in defeat. “We wouldn’t,” Hinata reassured.
“As long as you don’t,” Ino added, twirling her hair between her fingers.
“Deal.”
Entering Hokage Tower, the girls waved as people greeted them. “Do you think the others can join us?” Ino asked. When the other two stared at her blankly, she rolled her eyes. “The bar. Do you think the others can join us at the bar?”
“Depends on the bar,” Tenten said immediately, grimacing slightly. “I got banned from some but all of Konoha Twelve...” she trailed off. She shuddered as she remembered the three weeks full of D-rank mission they had all been assigned to as punishment for the... fiasco. Hinata pursed her lips, remembering the piles of paperwork her, Naruto, and any clan heir had to complete under the watchful eye of a Clan Head. That had been a nightmare.
Ino snorted and waved her hand, “I know that. Please what do you take me for?” She had completed her paperwork early and left the rest, claiming that Intelligence needed her. Of course, she wasn’t necessarily wrong so they had been forced to let her leave. Naruto had tried to pull the Hokage training card; Naruto had been firmly shut down.
Their arrival at the Hokage’s door saved everyone from Tenten’s answer. Hinata stepped forward and knocked three times. “Come in.”
Stepping through the door, the three stared at the piles of paperwork before them. “Umm... Hokage-sama?” Hinata said cautiously, attempting to peer between the stacks.
There was a muffled curse then one of the stacks went flying into the ground. Kakashi straightened from his sprawl over the table, his single exposed eye becoming an upside down U. “Yo!” All three eyed the mess of papers now on the ground and exchanged glances. This meeting would have to end before Kakashi’s secretary ripped him a new one for the mess. “The mission?”
“Completed without injury, Hokage-sama,” Ino replied, standing straighter. “Would you like the report now?”
“Maa, maa,” Kakashi drawled, waving his hand and knocking over another pile. Hinata winced. “As long as everything ended fine.”
“Yes, Hokage-sama,” they chorused.
“Just turn it in before the week’s end,” Kakashi added. He froze, a blank traumatized stare taking over the single eye. “You... You’re dismissed. I’m going to.... Do something irresponsible to recover from saying that out loud.” He cleared his throat and slouched deeper into the chair, waving them away. “This chair is a disease,” they heard him hiss.
The girls barely suppressed their giggles until the door shut behind them. “Poor Kakashi-sensei,” Tenten snickered, remembering the way Shizune and Sakura had threatened his Icha Icha collection following the start of his position.
“Poor Naruto,” Hinata said rather fondly, “he’s absolutely green with jealousy, and completely buried under all the law books he has to read” They all winced sympathetically then laughed, making their way out of the tower.
“Meeting you in the evening?” Ino said, right as they were about to part ways.
“We can meet at Ichiraku then walk over to wherever you decide,” Tenten said, shrugging in agreement. “Spread the word!” she added, before jogging away.
“There’s no way her teammates are missing this,” Ino grumbled to Hinata, before also heading back home. Hinata laughed at Ino’s disgruntlement but privately agreed. The last time they had a gathering and Tenten’s teammates hadn’t been there, it took half the boys and Akamaru to pull Tenten off the group of people that had been bad-mouthing Lee. Hinata shook her head and quickened her steps toward the Hyuuga Compound; she had to make sure her cousin was free and incapable to pretending to be busy tonight.
-x-
“To getting paid!” Tenten cheered. “Kanpai!”
“Kanpai!” the Konoha Twelve echoed, there was a moment of silence as they all threw back their shots. “Woo!”
“Drinks per best part of the mission!” Sakura pounding the table with her fist under the bartender and Naruto’s rather worried eyes. “Go!”
“Oh my god, the missing nin’s face when Ino stabbed him!” Tenten chortled, tongue loosened with some alcohol in her. “It was the funniest! I’m so sad you missed it,” she added, half falling on Ino in giggles.
Ino raised a single eyebrow at Hinata to confirm. When she solemnly nodded, Ino raised her shot glass to Shikamaru rather imperiously. Grumbling, Shikamaru filled it to the brim; Ino downed to the Twelve’s cheers.
“When the missing nin with the big sword came at Tenten and she summoned one and told him hers was bigger,” Hinata said into the lull. Everyone slowly turned to Hinata in shock before slowly turning to Tenten. She shrugged.
Ino hummed thoughtfully, “That did happen.” Snatching the bottle from Shikamaru, she poured two shots out for Tenten and clunked them in front of her. “His face and your words,” she added, when Tenten stared doubtfully at the second shot glass. “Drink up!”
The table cheered as she did. “Oh our Flower!” Lee declared rather tearfully. “Your Youthfulness grows with each fight!” He sniffled manfully into a napkin as Kiba laughed and thumped his back.
As the table quieted, “can’t those freaks stay in their own place,” rang rather clearly across the room. Everyone froze, then with restless shifting and heavy handed encouragement from the saner members of their team, settled down. “Especially freaks like that bug eyed loser.”
Everyone froze, then slowly turned to Tenten who suddenly had the most dangerous gleam in her eye. The table moved at once, some ducking for cover, some saving their drinks, and some, like Neji and Lee, diving for their teammate in hopes of intercepting her. “Wanna say that to my face, asshole?” Tenten asked sweetly, dodging her teammates and planting one foot on the table to glare over at the speakers.
The rather large man curled his lip and , slamming his glass down on the table, he stood as well. “Yeah,” he spat, taking a step towards, “I’m saying, maybe freaks like him should go back where they belong.”
Tenten let out a rather evil laugh, and dodging futile efforts to stop her, dove over three tables to tackle him into a wall. Chaos reigned.
-x-
Eleven rather shame-faced adults tried to avoid eye contact with the Hokage and the disapproving senseis staring down their former students. Tenten stuck her chin out and straightened her spine, making dead eye contact with Kakashi. “Let me get this straight,” he started slowly. “You started an unprovoked fight in a civilian bar with another shinobi--”
“Oh thank god, he was a shinobi,” Naruto burst out. “That’s going to make this so much easier.” He quelled a little under everyone’s stare, “It is,” he mumbled defensively. He would know; if he had to read another law book before the weekend, he was going to carve his own eyes out with a rusty kunai. Sasuke and Sakura patted his back, the former rolling his eyes.
“--an unprovoked fight,” Kakashi snarled. “Do you know how much paperwork this is going to cost me?”
“Hokage-sama!” Kurenai snapped.
“Eternal Rival, that is completely not the point!” Gai interrupted. He turned to his female student, who quickly changed her face to something approximating remorse. “It was not very youthful of you to start a fight against an opponent not at your caliber--”
“Maybe if he trained more than he talked shit,” Tenten snarled, taking a step forward. Neji loudly coughed, dragging her back slightly. “I mean,” she adjusted, straightening again, “may if he was less shit--”
Neji and Lee firmly dragged her back. “Sensei,” Neji cut in, trying to sound a reasonable as one could be while holding back a teammate that still had a rather murderous glint in her eye. “It wasn’t completely unprovoked.”
“Yeah Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto interrupted. “You always said if you don’t defend your friends then you’re worse than trash! And Tenten did defend her friends so--” The senseis slowly turned their disapproving stare on Naruto. “So there,” he finished rather meekly.
“Explain,” Kakashi demanded, eyeing the drawer that held his secret stash of alcohol. He was becoming uncomfortably sympathetic to Tsunade nowadays. He wondered if she was laughing at him safe in the hospital and considered if he should send a fruit basket in apology.
“He was spouting libel--” “Slander, dobe, it’s slander,” “Slander about a friend!” Naruto burst out, adjusting to the interruption. “She had to defend Lee’s honor!”
The room burst into noise, the rest of the Twelve chiming in with defense for Tenten and loudly railing the other shinobi’s dishonorable acts and shitty attitude. “Yeah, it’s not her fault he’s butt hurt that he got his ass handed to him by a girl!” Kiba burst out, slightly louder than everyone else. He quelled under Ino’s threatening smile and Sakura’s cracking knuckles, “In a good way?” he added, quieter. Hinata and Kurenai eyed him thoughtfully but let it pass for now.
“The rules are in place for bloodline limits, anyway,” Neji added coolly. “Tenten didn’t use any.”
Kakashi cleared his throat, glancing down at the after action report. “He says here that she had uncommon aim.”
“He can’t prove that’s a bloodline limit,” Neji said straightfaced. (“Uncommon aim, I’ll show him uncommon aim,” Tenten snarled quietly, petting her weapons pouch.)
“Well...” Kakashi trailed off. “No...” There was a pause as everyone waited with baited breath. “Get the hell out of my office,” Kakashi grumbled, thumping his forehead onto the table. “I’m just going to...” he trailed off, eyeing the large paper stacks surrounding him, “suffocate to death on paperwork,” he finished morosely. The Twelve scrambled to obey.
“Thanks for having my back, everyone” Tenten said, once everyone was outside. “You guys could have just said it was my fault.”
Everyone shrugged, mumbling something or another.
“Thanks, Neji,” Tenten added, nudging her frozen teammate.
“I,” he said rather pleasantly, Byakugan becoming active in his eyes. “Am going to kill. You.” Tenten blanched then bolted. “It’s the third time this week! You weren’t even here for five of the days!” Neji shouted, chasing after her.
“Oh Friends, do not leave me out of your game of tag!” Lee exclaimed, chasing after them.
The remaining stared after the three. “They’re so weird,” Sakura finally said, laughing and slinging an arm around each of her boys.
“Odds that she’s in another bar fight within three days?” Ino offered, glancing slyly around the group.
Shikamaru snorted, “That’s a sucker’s bet.” Murmurs of agreement went around the group.
“Maybe...” Hinata began before she stopped.
“What, Hinata?” Sakura asked. Kiba and Shino eyed Hinata warily, remembering the last time she had placed a bet. She had absolutely cleaned out all the jounins and no one could really prove that she had cheated.
She hummed thoughtfully. “I’ll take it,” she said, nodding in decision. Everyone froze as she began walking towards Hyuuga Compound. She giggled as she heard the others muse if the craziness of Team Gai might be contagious. With Neji yelling at Tenten for the day and the mission that the Hokage was clearly planning on sending Tenten to that she’d glimpsed, Hinata was certain the odds were in her favor. After all, no one ever said she had to play fair.