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Mineta's secret love

Summary:

This is a heartwrenching story of lies, love and death. And it's also the worst thing I've ever created written in one day and proofread by someone awake a 2am.

Notes:

I can't believe I wasted my goddamn life writing this story.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Mineta Minoru had been called many things. Perverted, creepy, more synonyms for perverted and creepy, a fucking weirdo with literal sticky balls attached to his head but the one thing he chose to call himself was the fresh-picked hero Grape Juice.

He didn’t choose the name just because his head looked like a pile of giant grapes, but because of a deep dark secret he had. A secret that if discovered could be the end of his hero career.

A secret, involving grape juice. Lots and lots of motherfucking grape juice.

You see Mineta’s infamous tendency to be, to put it delicately, an extremely hard to like pervert was actually just part of his persona he used to hide his secret. For if everyone thought he was obsessed with seeing girls naked then there’s no way they would ever figure out he’s secretly exclusively sexually attracted to grapes and grape juice.

Maybe the attraction first started because of the products resemblance to his own quirk, but Mineta had always has a fascination with grapes. The round succulent purple balls did things to his body and soul that he felt would be impossible to describe to the average person.

This is why at midnight on a particular Friday at the dorms at U.A Mineta could be found creeping through the halls on his way to the fridge to his 5 litre bottle of grape juice. Careful not to make any sound to avoid having to explain what exactly he was doing at this hour he tiptoed towards the fridge, towards his sweet beautiful succulent…

His grape juice was gone.

Why was his grape juice gone.

Taking a deep breath Mineta noticed in its place was a note with immaculate hand writing:

“Mineta, sorry but I have taken the responsibility to inform you but we moved your grape juice to the freezer on account of the fact it took up an entire row of the fridge –regards Iida Tenya.”

Mineta frowned, what exactly could he do with frozen grape juice? Then again the bottle was ridiculously big so it was likely it wasn’t entirely frozen through. With that hope in mind he wandered over quietly to the freezer.

Being only 3’6’’ and a half Mineta had to lean over the large chest freezer to search for his beloved grape juice. Spotting the large bottle his heart leapt with joy, just as he was about to grab it he froze. He could hear voices getting louder. Who would be up at this time of night?

Hardworking U.A students who were dedicated enough to becoming heros that they would take the time to either workout or study at midnight is who. And it sounded like they were interested in a midnight snack.

Before his brain could figure out that if they found him there he could just say he was thirsty in the middle of the night Mineta panicked and tipped over into the freezer, the lid shutting over his head.

Dazed for a moment he flailed around, searching for the one thing on his mind that could comfort him in this trying time in his life. Clutching the giant bottle to himself he strained to hear if the voices were gone.

After a few minutes he breathed a relieved sign and pressed on the lid of the freezer.

It wouldn’t budge.

Frowning he tried again, putting all the force he could being it. For some reason the damn thing wouldn’t budge. At the same time the small boy became aware of just how cold it was in the freezer. He started to freak out, pounding on the lid with all his might, however due to the fact he was a weak lil’ bitch it stayed shut. He was starting to wonder how he got it open in the first place.

After an hour of heaving the purple boy, with frozen tears in his eyes, accepted his fate and settled down with the only thing that could ever truly love him, his grape juice, until the cold ended it all.

After two days a very shocked Bakugou almost blew up the freezer when instead of the frozen pizza’s he was looking for he discovered a certain missing classmate curled up hugging a ridiculously huge bottle of grape juice.

And that is the story about how Mineta lied his entire life and literally fucking died for his one true love – grape juice.

Notes:

If you read this far I'm so sorry for making you waste like 5 minutes of your life.