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Leonard spots the cake before he even realizes Jim is in his apartment.
“I’m sorry I blacked out, tried to kill you, and almost got us arrested.” The cake is frosted white with black lettering on it. Leonard runs a finger across the words, eating the frosting off his finger.
A gasp comes from behind him and when he turns around, he finds Jim standing there with a towel around his waist. “You heathen!” He stomps forward and snatches the cake away from Leonard before turning back around and marching into the bathroom. “I made you a cake out of the goodness of my heart!”
Leonard stares after him and starts laughing because obviously someone told Jim that he did something way worse than just repeatedly molest him last night. “Yeah, and I deserve it! I can’t believe you did what you did last night!”
He hears Jim groan on the other side of the door and thinks that today is going to be great.
Jim comes out about a half an hour later. (What he was doing in there, Leonard does not begin to want to know.) His hair is dry and styled perfectly. Leonard’s sweats are slung low on his slender hips and he grins devilishly when he spots Leonard’s eyes trailing down his bare chest. “Like what you see?”
He almost caves, really. He almost completely forgets that he’s still pretending that Jim did something terrible last night. “No. I’m just wondering what would be the easiest and most painful way to kill you.”
Jim’s face is pure shock and Leonard wants to clap with glee. “Come on, Bones. You can’t stay angry at me forever. I don’t even remember!” He sits on the couch next to Leonard and attempts to cuddle up, but is pushed away unceremoniously. “Come on!”
Leonard stands up and walks to the kitchen, trying not to laugh the whole time. “Why don’t you go out and get some milk? Really, it’s the least you could do.”
Jim bolts up from the couch, clearly desperate for forgiveness. “Alright, I’ll be back soon!”
Leonard stops him with a hand on the shoulder. He kisses his cheek (the kid could use some love) and smiles a bit. “Thanks, Jim. Even if you did try to kill me last night.”
Jim’s expression is the most conflicted thing on the planet as he goes to get a shirt and jacket before leaving.
While Jim is gone, Leonard calls Scotty and asks, “What on Earth did you convince Jim that he did last night?”
The scottish man laughs raucously and Leonard can hear him clapping from the other end. “Oh, you know, the usual. He called me saying that he forgot last night so I told him he got really drunk, nearly killed you trying to start a fight, and almost got us arrested for causing a ruckus in the bar.” He says all of this totally casually. “Nothing strange, really.”
Leonard bursts out laughing. “Okay. Just so I have the story straight.”
“Are you keeping it going? How did you know?”
“He baked a cake.”
Scotty’s laughter is deafening this time to the point where Leonard has to hold the phone away from his ear. “Good on yah, mate. I’ve never been so proud of anyone.”
“Yeah, whatever.” Leonard hangs up, now prepared to torture Jim for just a little bit longer.
Jim walks in about twenty minutes later with a gallon of milk and a box of Donuts from the shop down the street. “Here!” He reaches around Leonard to put the groceries on the counter. He wraps his arms around Leonard’s torso.
Leonard winces in fake pain. “Jeez, Jim. I’m still sore from that fight last night.” He says, squinting his eyes shut.
“What? You actually got hurt? Oh my God, Bones!” Jim guides his boyfriend over to the couch and makes him sit. “I’m so so so sorry!”
Jim scurries around the apartment, getting ice and a blanket and making sure that Leonard is perfectly comfortable. “Here. Do you want a donut...or some cake? Seriously, I cannot believe I did that to you. I’m never drinking again.” Jim shoves a donut and Leonard.
Leonard starts giggling and he feels bad. Really, he does. Jim appears to have taken this whole thing to heart and looks genuinely upset and worried. And it’s only two in the afternoon. “What? What are you laughing at?”
Leonard starts laughing harder and Jim is getting increasingly anxious. He continues to ask “What is it?” over and over again until Leonard finally cracks.
“You didn’t nearly kill anyone. You didn’t get us arrested. You didn’t get in a fight. You got drunk, yes, but it wasn’t nearly that bad.” Leonard giggles a little.
Suddenly Jim is jumping off the couch, snatching the donut away from Leonard, and throwing the blanket over his shoulder. “You are a great big bag of dicks, Bones McCoy.”
He storms out of the room and slams Leonard’s bedroom door with an angry finality. “I hate you so much! I thought I nearly killed you!” He screams from the other side of the door.
Leonard laughs a little bit more before standing up and going to knock on the door. He tries the handle, and finds it locked. He knocks again. “Jim, come on. Let me in. It was just a joke!”
A few minutes pass in silence before Jim opens the door. His face is a mask of petulant anger. “You’re mean, I hope you know that.”
Leonard pushes into the room. “Yes, you’ve been saying that since college. What’s new?”
Jim frowns and refuses to look at him. Leonard walks over to the bed and pats it. “Come on.”
“No.”
“Jim.” He says a bit more firmly, and the younger man finally caves. He slinks over and sits next to Leonard.
“So, I guess I get where you guys were coming from, thinking it was funny.” Jim mumbles, twiddling with his thumbs. A slight smile turns up the corners of his mouth.
Leonard looks over at him in surprise. He didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. “Well, it was really funny. I do feel bad, though.”
Jim nods and crosses his arms. He meets Leonard with a challenging glance. “As you well should. You scared me to death.”
Leonard laughs and wraps an arm around Jim. “You honestly think I’d let drunk Jim do anything after the incident sophomore year? No. I’m much better than that.” He ducks down and kisses Jim’s mouth, trying to get the blond to loosen up and forgive him. “Come on, you know I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, really.”
Jim sighs and uncrosses his arms. He pecks Leonard on the lips, trying to seem like he hasn’t forgiven him yet. (They both know he has.) “Yeah, well. I worry sometimes. I to tend to get crazy.”
Leonard smiles and pulls Jim closer to him. “Yeah you do. But I’m here to make sure you don’t kill me, or get us arrested, or anything like you used to do.”
“Yeah. Thanks. Jail sucks, if you were wondering.”
“Don’t have to wonder, remember? You did get us arrested once.” Leonard leans in and starts kissing Jim’s neck. “Now, do you want to see what you really tried to do last night at the bar?”
He presses Jim back on the bed and the blond clearly catches his meaning. “God, yes.”