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“The flagship of the fleet, the starship Enterprise, has been reported stolen by a group of pirates assumed to be very dangerous. These criminals are to be seen as very dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. The crew of the Enterprise, lead by the courageous Captain James Kirk is presumed dead. The only survivor of this miraculous crew which saved the federation on multiple counts is Doctor Leonard McCoy. The ship’s doctor was on a brief shore leave and is now the sole survivor of this brave crew.”
-
“This is illegal, I hope you know.” Leonard grumbles out once the gag is removed. “You can’t just steal a person. Especially from Starfleet.”
His captors, two young Orion women with surprising strength, simply roll their eyes in unison and leave him sitting on the biobed. His hands and feet are tied up and he is bound to the bed by ropes tied to his ankles. He begins to contemplate the escape skills he learned all those years ago from Jim.
He looks around at the familiar room and thinks that it’s the most ironic thing in the world that he should need to use his skills on the Enterprise. This ship stolen all those years ago by pirates who killed everyone he loved. This ship, more a myth than anything else, sailing through the black at breakneck speed with the wrong captain.
This captain walks into the room at that moment and Leonard takes him in. The man has brown hair that’s just a sight too long. Certainly nothing like the regulation (and blond) haircut that belongs in his place. He’s got a slight beard and dark circles under his eyes that denote a lack of sleep. His eyes, though, his eyes are the worst bit of him. Even worse than the scar along his cheekbone. His eyes are dull and they seem to look through, not at, everything around him. This man is a dead man walking.
Leonard decides he hates him. He does not belong in Jim’s place with his too-skinny frame and too-black shirt.
“They’ll come looking for me, and when I’m found, they’ll kill you for stealing the Enterprise.” Leonard spits out his words at the man.
He doesn’t respond except to laugh derisively. It’s loud and it almost hurts Leonard to hear something so broken. The man pulls up a chair and sits in it with an easy grace, still not saying anything.
“They’ll find me.”
“They won’t even look.” The man’s voice is thick and raspy and it sounds like he’s about to cry or scream. “They’ll call you dead and be glad to get rid of you forever.”
It hits Leonard like a ton of bricks because it sounds exactly like what happened to all of his friends four years ago. “Well, aren’t you going to kill me? Or do I have to wait?”
The man sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “I am not going to kill you.”
“Then why am I here?”
“I needed a doctor, ours is dead.”
“Why me?”
The man throws his hands up. “You were there, I don’t know!”
“Why would you take a high-ranking Starfleet doctor? There are thousands of public doctors who would love to go with you, no fuss. You have a reason for kidnapping me, and I want to know right now.”
The man turns away, arms crossed and they sit in tense silence for several minutes that stretch on forever. Leonard wonders if he should start yelling again, but he doesn’t.
“Our captain has a habit of dying. Should sound familiar to you, Leonard.” Nyota Uhura stands in the doorway, dressed in a black outfit much like the captain’s.
“You’re dead.” Slips out of Leonard’s mouth before he can stop it. “You’re dead and I’m dreaming again.”
Nyota smiles sadly and walks over to Leonard. Her familiar ponytail swings back and forth. “You aren’t dreaming.” She flicks open a pocket knife and starts cutting through his bonds. “I’m not dead. None of us are.”
She finishes cutting through the ropes and he’s on his feet wrapping her in a tight hug. She laughs and it sounds watery. Her arms wrap around him and he soon feels tears soaking through his shirt. “I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea.” He mutters.
Nyota pulls away and tears are still in her eyes. “We’ve all missed you. Not a day goes by that we don’t regret leaving you behind.”
Leonard thinks about what she said earlier and he doesn’t really want to hear about it, but he has to ask, “Nyota. You said no one died. Where’s Jim? Can I see him?” His voice is far too hopeful for his liking, but to have Jim back again...
She looks genuinely surprised. Her eyes trail over to the man still standing in the corner and then back to Leonard. “You haven’t been introduced to our great captain yet, have you?” She says awkwardly.
“I don’t care what his name is! I want to know what he did to Jim Kirk!” He shouts and rounds on the man. “Surely you know him! Blond, cocky as all get out with a smile that could soften a gorn and blue eyes that you will never stop dreaming about for the rest of your life as hard as you try!” He crowds the captain so that the man is pressed against the wall with wide eyes.”If you killed him...I don’t know what I’ll do. It’s been four years and I still don’t know what to do with myself.” He whispers the last part with anguish he thought he’d forgotten and left behind years ago. He clutches at the chain around his neck that falls into his shirt.
“Leonard.” Nyota pleads from the other side of the room. “Stop.”
Leonard shakes his head. “No. Just tell me what happened to Jim. Please.” He closes his eyes, bracing himself for the sure confirmation of his death.
“Bones.” The man in front of him breathes out, all rasp in his voice gone, and it makes Leonard’s eyes fly open. “Oh God, Bones.”
Suddenly, it all clicks. There was never a rogue who stole the enterprise and killed the captain. “Jim.” He collapses inot him and wraps the too-skinny Jim Kirk into an embrace. “God. You were dead. I could kill you.”
Jim clenches his fists in Leonard’s shirt and he’s shaking. “I’m so sorry. I had to get away and I didn’t want you to get caught up in this life. Constantly running. I had to leave for you.”
Leonard pulls away and he hits Jim before his hand returns to the chain on his neck. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. You’re supposed to talk to me.”
Jim cries out a bit in shock at the punch, but recovers quickly. Fingers wrap around Leonard’s on the chain. Jim pulls it and there’s a ring at the end of it. “Bones, what is this?”
“You were supposed to come back, Jim. You were supposed to come back and I was supposed to get on the Enterprise again but you never came back.” He takes the necklace off and hands it to Jim. “This is yours, really.”
Jim shakes his head and puts it back on Leonard. He kisses his cheek and his beard brushes his jaw. It should feel wrong wrong wrong but it doesn’t. “Keep it. I don’t deserve it anymore.”
Leonard wants to strangle him and wrap him in a blanket and never let go because this is his Jim, the Jim who used to have a sunshine smile and hair like a hayfield at harvest. He’s so different now, though, and it kills Leonard. “Jim, you left me once already, don’t pull away again.”
Jim leaves the room and Leonard wants to throw himself out of an airlock.
Over the next few hours, the crew all show up to visit him. Carol and Gaila laugh and joke around whilst sitting together. Christine comes into the room and her fingers twine with Gaila’s and Leonard realizes they’re wearing matching rings.
“Really? You two?”
“Yeah, isn’t it the greatest thing?”
He soon finds out that nearly everyone on the Enterprise has settled down. Chekov and Sulu are both much more level headed and they’re painfully adorable together.
Scotty bounds into the room last of all (beside Spock, but Leonard doesn’t expect him just yet) and he and Uhura smile at each other in a way that Leonard knows he used to look at Jim.
When the end of the day comes, he’s tired and he just wants to go back to San Francisco and sleep forever. “Uhura, I can’t be here. Let me go home.”
The communications officer smiles at him with genuine sympathy. “I wish I could let you go, Leonard. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in your place.”
“No, you really can’t.” Bones paces slowly around the room. “You’re all ghosts to me. I came to terms with your deaths years ago. I spoke at your funeral, Ny, and you’re alive? I can’t be here.”
Nyota takes him by the arm and says nothing. She leads him through the short distance to the CMOs quarters. “Look, if you’re absolutely miserable, I’m sure Jim’ll let you go home. I think you should consider staying, is all.”
Leonard walks into the quarters and he breaths in the familiarity of it all. He hasn’t stepped foot on a starship in four years but it still feels the same to him. He strips off his clothes and lays in the bed that’s too cold and stiff but still more comfortable than anything else he’s slept in for four years.
“Bones?” Jim is suddenly sitting next to Leonard in the bed. He wonders when he actually fell asleep.
Jim’s hair is shorter now, still brown. The beard is gone and he actually looks happy compared to the man he saw earlier. Leonard sits up in bed and pulls the blankets back. “Come on, Jim. Come to bed.”
Jim crawls under the blanket and curls himself up facing away from Leonard. “I’m sorry I left, Bones. They just-they kept using me like they used my dad’s death and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out and do something good.”
Leonard curls around Jim and holds him as tight as he can. “Jim. I was so scared without you. Why couldn’t you take me?”
“You love earth and you deserve to be happy, Bones. I couldn’t do that to you.”
“Do me a favor, kid.”
“Yeah, Bones?”
“Stop making decisions for me.”
When Jim turns around and kisses Leonard, he knows he can’t leave.