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Youngjae opened the car door and eased the man into the backseat of his cruiser. “Be careful, okay? Make sure you duck so you don’t hit your head.” Youngjae cautioned, and he heard a chuckle from the other man. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Officer.” The man replied.
After Youngjae managed to get him buckled into the backseat he got into the driver’s seat and looked back at the man through the rear-view mirror. There was a bit of dried blood in the corner of his mouth and a bruise forming around his left eye. Youngjae also noticed two black dots above the same eye where the bruise was getting darker and darker.
“Do you have a tattoo on your eye?” Youngjae asked curiously. “What?” was all the man said in response.
“Those two dots above your left eye… is that a tattoo?” He clarified, and the man raised an eyebrow and locked eyes with him through the mirror. “Oh, no way. Those are just moles.” He asked and chuckled again.
Wow, that’s unique. Youngjae thought to himself as he began to drive back to the station. “So what’s your name?” Youngjae asked as he pulled out into the road.
“Jaebum.” Youngjae’s eyes widened and he ignored the curtness of the response. “Oh, Jaebum? Are you Korean? Can you speak Korean?” Youngjae ask, probably a bit too excitedly.
“Yeah, I can speak Korean.” Jaebum answered…in English. Youngjae was honestly intrigued by Jaebum. Aside from the bit of dirt on his clothing and temporary damage to his face, he looked well-kept. He had the stereotypical look of someone you might expect to get in a fight though. He had dark-wash skinny jeans adorned with rips and tears, a plain black t-shirt, a leather moto jacket with a few too many zippers, and some old worn out vans. He had several ear piercings and a silver lip ring. It was a nice look honestly. Jaebum’s hair was ruby red and any other time, in any other situation, Youngjae would have allowed himself to admire the man’s good looks. But unfortunately, he couldn’t allow that right now.
He did, however, want to know more about Jaebum, so he tried to pry even further. “Do you prefer to speak in Korean or English?” Youngjae asked, and he heard Jaebum let out an annoyed sigh.
“Honestly, I’d prefer not to talk at all if you don’t mind.” Jaebum replied, and Youngjae couldn’t help but feel upset that he was shut down so quickly. Most of the time people were almost too willing to talk in the back of a cruiser, wanting desperately to explain the situation and why whatever they were arrested for wasn’t their fault or just didn’t happen the way the officer interpreted it. But not Jaebum. Jaebum didn’t seem to care one way or another if Youngjae knew about him.
Youngjae let out a sigh of his own this time as they pulled up to a red light. “I guess if you’re just going to be difficult, then we’ll just make our trip without conversation. What kind of music do you want to listen to?” He asked, hoping Jaebum would stop being so sour and just talk with him instead, but honestly not expecting that to happen.
“I like most genres… except country music.” Jaebum responded, and Youngjae burst out in laughter. “What?” Jaebum asked defensively. “Why did you feel the need to specifically mention country music? Do you think that’s what I would have played had you not told me?” Youngjae asked in between giggles.
“I don’t know! You’re kind of a weird cop so how should I know what you’re going to play?” For the first time since the two of them met, Jaebum finally sounded like the wall he had built up around him had chipped a little. He sounded a bit flustered and his voice even cracked slightly. Youngjae honestly thought it was adorable. Actually, with every glance into the backseat, Youngjae found Jaebum to be more and more attractive.
“Alright, Jaebum-ssi. First off, me being a cop has literally no correlation with how good my taste in music is. Second, how am I a weird cop? I haven’t done anything weird at all. I read you your Miranda rights and put you in the car. What did I do that’s weird?” Youngjae asked as he turned on some music. “It’s The Weeknd. Everyone loves The Weeknd.” He finished off.
“You’re weird because you keep asking me so many random fucking questions. Why do you want to know my name? Why do you want to know if I’m Korean?” Jaebum was obviously annoyed and Youngjae didn’t really understand why. What’s wrong with asking someone’s name?
“Well I asked your name because I was just curious. You don’t have to be a cop to ask someone’s name. And I asked if you were Korean because Jaebum is obviously a Korean name and once again, I was curious. I don’t get to actually talk to many people in Korean in the U.S. so I wanted to see if I could talk to you that way. I don’t know why you’re so defensive. I’m not the one who punched you in the face.” Youngjae snapped back. If Jaebum was going to be grumpy for no reason, then Youngjae would do the same.
Jaebum sighed audibly. “So do you like this song?” Youngjae asked, before he started singing.
Tell 'em this boy wasn’t made for loving
Tell 'em this heart doesn't stay to one
I'll be the same, never changed for nothing
It's all I know, never learned much more
He glanced to the backseat again and noticed an odd look on Jaebum’s face this time. He wasn’t sure if Jaebum was perplexed or impressed. “You’re a pretty good singer.” Jaebum blurted out. “Oh, thank you. I’ve been told that before actually.” Youngjae stated proudly. “Wanna sing with me, Jaebum-ssi? Oh! How old are you?” Youngjae asked suddenly. He was driving again so he couldn’t check the backseat but he was sure Jaebum was giving him a grumpy look again.
“I’m twenty-three. And no I don’t think I want to sing with you, Officer.” “Oh! You’re older than me. I’m only twenty-one. Is it okay if I call you hyung?” Youngjae asked, and he heard Jaebum sigh again. “Why would you call me hyung? We don’t live in Korea.” Jaebum replied, but Youngjae shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. We’re both Koreans even if we don’t live there, Jaebum-hyung. You can call me Youngjae if you want.”
All the sudden Jaebum bursted out in laughter. “Just Youngjae? You don’t want me to call you Officer Youngjae?” He asked, and Youngjae scoffed at him. “My last name is Choi so you would call me Officer Choi actually, but I’m fine with just Youngjae.” Youngjae replied. “You really are a weird cop, Youngjae.”
“So honestly hyung…why did you get into a fight tonight?” Youngjae asked, not honestly expecting an answer but hoping for one anyway. “I just did. The guy said something I didn’t like.” Jaebum curtly replied.
Just what I expected, an answer but not an answer at all, Youngjae thought to himself. “What did he say?” Youngjae pressed on, hoping Jaebum didn’t have too much of a short-fuse. He figured he could probably take the older man down if he had to, but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to know what possessed Jaebum to fight someone just over something they said. It had to be pretty bad for that.
“Does it really fucking matter what he said? He said something that pissed me off, so I hit him. Isn’t that all you need to know? Why do you fucking care what caused me to hit him?” Jaebum growled back at him, and Youngjae sighed audibly. What a bad attitude.
“I was just wondering what he said that was so bad that caused you to punch him. Surely you don’t have such a bad temper that you just punch people over petty shit, Jaebum.” Youngjae chided. “It wasn’t petty shit. He said something fucking unnecessary and he needed to learn that I’m not gonna let him get away with that.” Jaebum snapped back at him.
“Okay, okay. I was just asking.” Youngjae figured it was time to quit bothering Jaebum. He obviously had no interest in actually talking about whatever happened between him and the other man.
After Jaebum had already been booked and was no longer in Youngjae’s custody, Youngjae’s curiosity got the best of him and he decided to look up Jaebum in the system to see if he had a habit of escalating arguments into fist fights. Luckily he didn’t, but he did have a bit of a rap sheet.
Jaebum, or Im Jaebum rather, had a few arrests for public intoxication and even one for petty theft from a store. Youngjae wasn’t sure how to feel. On one hand, he knew it was never okay to punch someone in the face for something they said, he knew whatever it was had to be pretty awful. On the other hand, Jaebum had a history of getting in trouble even if he hadn’t been charged with anything too serious.
After reading through Jaebum’s record Youngjae felt concerned about the older man more than anything else. What’s a twenty-three-year-old man doing getting so drunk he gets arrested more than once? And even worse, what’s a twenty-three-year-old man doing stealing shit?
From what Youngjae had learned in school before actually starting his career as an officer, there’s usually another reason why someone would be committing crimes so early in life. Youngjae really wished he could have talked to Jaebum more to find out what was going on with him to explain why he was already on such a rough path.
Youngjae thought about going to see Jaebum again that night to talk to him more, but he decided against it because he thought maybe Jaebum just needed to chill out for the night. Unfortunately, he was already gone by the time Youngjae’s shift rolled around the night after and it left Youngjae feeling restless and a little worried about the older man.
He didn’t have to worry for too long though, because he got the call to the same bar not even three weeks later for the “same young man who was causing trouble a few weeks ago”. Youngjae quickly radioed in and offered to go to the bar just in case it was Jaebum. He hoped that it wasn’t and that maybe Jaebum had finally decided to settle down, but he wasn’t surprised when it was indeed the handsome older man from before.
This time, however, he wasn’t looking nearly as handsome. Even if the marks on his face from before had since healed and he didn’t have the dirt on his clothing from the scuffle, Jaebum was drunk. Actually, no, drunk isn’t the word Youngjae would have used to describe it. Jaebum was wasted.
Youngjae helped Jaebum into his cruiser again, physically assisting him this time instead of simply warning him to duck. Jaebum’s speech was slurred and he reeked of cheap beer, a smell Youngjae was never particularly fond of. Youngjae was fine with having a few mixed drinks but he hated the smell of beer and he hated getting this drunk. Why would you want to lose control of yourself like this? Why would you want to not even remember what you did the night before? Youngjae just didn’t get it.
He locked the door quickly and prayed to whoever that Jaebum wouldn’t throw up in the back seat. The smell of the beer was bad enough, but fuck if he had to smell puke for the next week he was gonna be livid.
Youngjae ran his hands through his hair and threw his head back for a moment. He honestly already felt pissed off just seeing Jaebum like this. Sure, Jaebum hadn’t talked to him much and what Jaebum did say to him was unnecessarily bitter, but Jaebum had obviously been through an ordeal that night. At least when Jaebum was angry he was still able to form proper sentences. Right now Youngjae wasn’t sure if the older man was even coherent and he just didn’t get why Jaebum kept doing this to himself.
Youngjae pulled the car over into a parking lot nearby and put it into park before he looked back to Jaebum again, nearly passed out and eyes glazed over. “Jaebum? Hyung? You still conscious back there?” He asked, voice laced with worry.
“Huh? Yeah I’m still here… officer.” Jaebum slurred in response, and Youngjae was at least glad he could still form full sentences. “Do you remember me? We met about three weeks at this same bar when you nearly beat that guy up.” Youngjae asked, turning around to look at Jaebum.
“Uh…” Jaebum started, and he raised his head lazily to look at Youngjae. His eyes narrowed and then widened suddenly. “Oh! Officer Friendly, is that you? What’s your name again?” Jaebum questioned.
Youngjae decided to just ignore the “Officer Friendly” nickname. “My name is Youngjae, Jaebum-hyung.” “Hyung? Why are you calling me that? You’re speaking in English but still calling me hyung… that’s a little dorky.” Jaebum said right before he started giggling.
Despite being dog drunk, Jaebum was still calling Youngjae names and cracking jokes and giggling. Youngjae never thought that he would like someone’s personality better when they’re drunk, but giggling, goofy Jaebum was much better than salty, sourpuss Jaebum. Youngjae smiled back at him, but quickly realized that this may be the best time to try and talk to Jaebum since he definitely seemed to have a looser tongue than he did the last time.
Youngjae let out a breath before he asked the question that may end up ruining the drunken truce they currently had. “So what are you doing in the back of my cruiser again hyung?” he asked. “Well, honestly my memory might be a little fuzzy right now… but I think I’m back here because you opened the door and put me back here.” Jaebum responded before bursting out in shrill laughter as if it was the funniest thing he had ever said.
Youngjae’s shoulders dropped and he gave Jaebum a highly unimpressed look. “Jaebum, you know what I mean. Why did I need to pick you up again? Why did you get so drunk?”
“Oh…I don’t know. I went there for a few beers, had a few beers, and had a few more beers…I guess. Does it really matter why? Aren’t you just gonna take me to the station and drop me off like you did last time?” Jaebum asked bluntly, but Youngjae could have sworn he heard some sort of emotion in Jaebum’s voice.
“Actually, I don’t think I’m going to do that tonight. And I’ll have you know that I went back to talk to you last time but you had already been released by the time my shift started the next day. I didn’t just drop you off and forget about you.” Youngjae countered.
Youngjae watched as Jaebum’s eyes narrowed like he didn’t really believe him, but Jaebum didn’t say anything further about it. “You’re not going to take me to the station? Isn’t that breaking the police rules?” Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh at Jaebum saying “the police rules”, but he quickly regained his composure.
“Well I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do at first honestly. But there’s this thing called police discretion, and I’m using it. So instead of taking you back to the station tonight where you’ll just sulk about it all night, I’m going to take you home so you can sleep it off. Where do you live at, Jaebum-hyung?” He asked casually and immediately noticed Jaebum’s expression flatline.
“Here and there.” Jaebum said casually. “Say that again hyung? I don’t really understand what that means.” Youngjae said, thinking that maybe Jaebum messed up what he said due to the alcohol, even though Jaebum was actually starting to sober up a bit.
“I said here and there. My home is on the couch of whichever friend lets me crash for the night.” He repeated, and Youngjae’s eyes went impossibly wide. “You don’t have a home? What about your parents? Where do they live?” Youngjae pressed further.
“Doesn’t matter where they live, Officer Youngjae. They kicked me out and they definitely don’t want me showing up there. You can’t take me there. I’m not telling you where they live. Fuck them anyway.” Jaebum spat the last part out of his mouth like it was poison.
“I…” Youngjae started, but he trailed off quickly, trying to plan his next words out first before asking. He knew something had to have happened to cause Jaebum to be getting in so much trouble. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to hyung, but… why did they kick you out?” Youngjae knew he was treading on thin ice and, just based on how Jaebum has acted before, the older man might blow up any second, but he tried it anyway.
Jaebum looked Youngjae straight in the eyes before he responded. “Told ‘em I was gay and they just weren’t having it. Told me to get my shit and leave, so I did. I’d crash someone’s couch any day before I’d go back to that place.”
The words struck a nerve and Youngjae gritted his teeth. He knew that feeling all too well. Flashbacks of his own coming out to his unaccepting parents rang through his head like a bell. They didn’t kick him like Jaebum’s parents did, but they didn’t believe him and essentially warned him not to say another word about it. Youngjae’s parents decided to pretend like he was joking when he said it, and eventually Youngjae left without them even having to tell him to.
It was obvious how angry Jaebum was at his parents, and Youngjae didn’t blame him one bit. Youngjae was angry at his own parents and at Jaebum’s parents too without even meeting them. He never understood why any parents would treat their child that way over something like coming out. How can you disown your child if they trust you enough to tell you that? He couldn’t understand it, and frankly he never wanted to.
But past all that anger that was shown on Jaebum’s face right now, Youngjae also knew the other side of it. Jaebum wouldn’t admit it, but he was hurt. Jaebum was vulnerable and he trusted them, and they turned their back on him. Youngjae wondered if that’s the reason Jaebum started drinking but he didn’t bring it up.
“For someone who has always been so talkative, you sure are quiet now. What, you don’t like gay people either, Officer Choi?” Jaebum asked as his temper flared again. Apparently, he was sober enough now to remember Youngjae’s last name. “What? No. That’s not it at all, sorry. I was just thinking.” He replied. “About what?” Jaebum questioned.
“Nothing important. Right now we need to figure out what to do with you. Are you staying at someone’s place right now?” Youngjae asked, and Jaebum averted his eyes. “No. I got in an argument with the guy I was staying with and I don’t think he wants me back there right now either. You might as well just let me out of the car. I’ll figure something out.” Jaebum sounded detached and apathetic to his own situation, like this is what he was used to.
Youngjae now knew the probable reasons behind Jaebum drinking and stealing, and while it didn’t excuse them, he honestly felt heartbroken. He felt even more furious at Jaebum’s parents for throwing him out into the street like he was a puppy that peed on the furniture too many times. Like he was trash, just disposable.
But being heartbroken and pitying Jaebum wasn’t what the older man needed and probably not what he wanted either. So Youngjae decided to do something he thought he would never do as a police officer, but Jaebum didn’t seem like a criminal. He seemed like someone who honestly needed help.
“I’m not abandoning you on the street, hyung. I know somewhere I can take you. Let me just take care of something first, alright?” Jaebum looked at him suspiciously, but nodded nonetheless. Youngjae felt even more empty at the fact that Jaebum was willing to simply just go along with what Youngjae said and wherever Youngjae was going to take him.
Youngjae radioed in and explained the situation with the “drunken man”, saying he didn’t really need to be taken into the station and Youngjae was just going to take him home instead. He went on further to say he wasn’t feeling well and thought maybe he ate something bad so he needed to take the rest of the night off before driving him and Jaebum back to his own tiny apartment.
As soon as they arrived, he helped Jaebum out of the cruiser. Luckily Jaebum could walk a bit better on his own now but he still drooped an arm around Youngjae’s shoulder as they walked upstairs. “So who’s place is this anyway?” Jaebum asked, to which Youngjae casually replied “Mine.”
“What? Why did you take me to your apartment?” Jaebum asked further, and Youngjae shrugged it off. “Because you needed a place to stay, hyung. As soon as you get up there you’re probably gonna pass out anyway.” Youngjae answered, and he heard Jaebum let out a “huh” but he didn’t say anything further on the subject.
As soon as they got upstairs, Youngjae went to the kitchen and poured Jaebum a glass of water and grabbed a couple of aspirin. As he stepped back into the living room, Jaebum had taken off his shoes and was leaning against the wall waiting patiently.
“You can sleep in my bed tonight if you want. I’ll take the couch.” Youngjae offered, and Jaebum quickly shook his head. “Ahh… no that’s fine. I’m used to sleeping on couches so I’ll just sleep there.” he rushed out.
“You being used to sleeping on couches is exactly why I’m letting you sleep in a bed tonight, Jaebum-hyung. When’s the last time you slept in a bed?” Jaebum stayed silent, and Youngjae went on to say “That’s what I thought. Follow me, hyung.”
He led Jaebum to his bedroom and opened the door. Youngjae walked over to the bedside table and set the glass of water and the aspirin down before patting the bed. “Here you go. Take these and drink this whole glass of water before you pass out if you can.”
“When are you going to sleep?” Jaebum asked, and Youngjae could tell that he was actually nervous for the first time since he met the older man. He was rubbing his hands together and avoiding Youngjae’s gaze.
“I’m just going to take a shower and go to sleep on the couch. I’ll check on you in the morning. Go ahead and get some rest now, alright?” Youngjae said as he looked through his clothes to find something to sleep in. “Okay… uh… goodnight, Youngjae.” Jaebum stuttered, and Youngjae waved. “Goodnight, Jaebum-hyung.”
After Youngjae finished his shower he looked in the room to see the glass of water nearly empty and Jaebum passed out on top of the covers hugging onto some dog plushie that Youngjae had on his bed. Youngjae chuckled softly to himself at the sight. “Who knew that Jaebum the grump-ass was really such a softie? Kinda cute too.” He said quietly as he walked over and covered Jaebum with a throw blanket that he took from another room.
Youngjae woke up the next morning to the sun shining through the living room curtains, and he made quick work of turning off his alarm. He rubbed his eyes and sat up from the couch, immediately feeling a dull pain in his lower back. After making a mental note to begin saving up for a new couch because this one was apparently not very comfortable anymore, he got up to check on Jaebum.
He walked slowly through the hallway to his bedroom, hoping that Jaebum hadn’t stolen something from him and split in the middle of the night. He doubted it though, because Jaebum had definitely passed out the night before.
Youngjae turned the knob and pushed the door open slowly. Jaebum was still here in the same position as last night, snuggled up to his dog plushie, Coco. Youngjae figured he would be hungover and more grumpy than ever if he woke Jaebum up, so he filled the almost-empty glass and placed a few more aspirin on the end table before he went to make breakfast for the two of them.
It wasn’t long into cooking that he heard footsteps in the hallway and eventually Jaebum walked into the kitchen. His eyes were still tired but they widened as soon as he saw Youngjae. “It’s you, Youngjae, right?” Youngjae nodded.
“What am I doing here? Why did you bring me to your apartment?” Jaebum asked. “Oh you don’t remember? I thought you had sobered up quite a bit last night honestly. Well, you got really drunk and I didn’t want to just take you to the station yet again. I asked where I could take you and you said you didn’t really have a place to stay so I made the decision to bring you here. Simple as that.”
Jaebum stared at Youngjae for almost a minute with an indistinguishable look on his face before he muttered a “thanks”. “Don’t mention it. Why don’t you go sit in the living room and I’ll keep making us breakfast?”
Jaebum continued to stand in the doorway. “Do you want me to help you?” Youngjae quickly shook his head. “No hyung. Just go relax. I’m assuming you probably don’t feel good this morning anyway. It’ll be done soon.”
After the two finished eating, Youngjae took the dishes and sat them in the sink to do them at some point later. Jaebum was still sitting on the couch but he seemed a bit nervous or maybe even awkward. Youngjae sat down beside him again and looked over. Jaebum made a point to compliment Youngjae’s cooking skills, saying he hadn’t had proper Korean food in a long time, which Youngjae assumed meant since the time he left his parents’ home.
“You know… I know what it feels like for parents not to understand.” Youngjae started, and Jaebum’s eyes narrowed at him. “What are you talking about Youngjae?”
“My parents didn’t really get it either when I came out to them a few years ago. They didn’t kick me out like yours did, but they weren’t exactly very accepting either. They thought I was going through some weird phase, as they called it. Seriously though, what straight guy goes through a gay phase? Anyway, they started treating me differently – especially when I’d want to hang out with friends who were guys – and eventually I got tired of it so I moved out. We barely talk at all now.” Youngjae explained.
“Shit did I tell you about my parents last night too?” is all he responded, and after Youngjae nodded Jaebum spoke up again. “Is that why you’ve been so nice to me? Just helping out another gay guy?”
Youngjae stayed quiet for a minute before he responded. He hadn’t really thought of why he was being so nice to Jaebum. “Well… yes and no. Yes because I do know how it feels to be in your situation even if mine isn’t to the degree that yours is, but no because I’m not helping you out only because you’re gay. I’m helping you because you don’t seem like a bad guy to me. You just seem like you don’t have a lot of people around you letting you know that they care about you.” Youngjae explained, and he saw Jaebum genuinely smile at him for the first time.
Youngjae wanted to ask more since Jaebum seemed to finally be warming up to him, but he left it alone. Instead he got up and said “Follow me. I’m gonna let you borrow some of my clothes. They should fit you. You can take a shower first too.”
Youngjae opened the door of his closet and gestured to the clothing. “Wear whatever you like except one of my uniforms. Don’t even think about wearing one of those hyung.” Jaebum chuckled. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those uniforms.” He countered, and Youngjae shrugged at him. “That’s unfortunate. You’d probably look pretty hot in it.” Youngjae chuckled.
Youngjae was sitting on the uncomfortable couch reading when Jaebum came into the room wearing Youngjae’s favorite grey sweatshirt with black lettering and some basketball shorts. The shirt was big on Jaebum just like it was on Youngjae, and Youngjae noticed just how cute Jaebum could be for the second time.
“All your clothes are too big! Why don’t you buy better fitting clothing?” Jaebum complained, and Youngjae laughed it off. “I like to be comfortable. I’m not trying to show my body off or anything, so it’s not a big deal.” He responded, and Jaebum shook his head. “I’m sure you’re in great shape. Why hide it?”
“I don’t know hyung. I just don’t feel comfortable showing off too much.” Youngjae said, and Jaebum had a tight-lipped look on his face like he wasn’t happy with Youngjae’s reasoning, but he let the conversation end there anyway.
The went from then on went by faster than Youngjae expected. Maybe it was because he just wasn’t used to having company over or because of the company he currently had over, but the two of them spent most of the day just watching television and making small talk. Usually Youngjae wouldn’t talk to someone for this long – he’d run out of things to say or just get bored and want to do something else – but with Jaebum it was different. They could move through conversations smoothly and onto new topics easily without any awkwardness. Having Jaebum around was… nice.
But unfortunately he did have another night-shift to work and it was nearing the time where he had to get ready. He started to feel worried that this might be the last time he would see Jaebum around. “Hyung?” he asked as he got off the couch, and Jaebum looked away from the television screen and at Youngjae. He muttered a “Hmm?” in Youngjae’s direction.
“So… I’m guessing you don’t have anywhere to go tonight, right?” Youngjae asked cautiously, but he received no verbal answer from Jaebum. “I was just saying because err… if you needed a place to stay again, you can just stay here again.” Youngjae continued.
“You’d let me stay at your place again?” Jaebum finally responded after what seemed like a painfully long time, even if it was probably less than a minute. “Ahh… yeah, I’m cool with it. You can stay here temporarily if you want, until we can find something better for you.” Youngjae replied, and he saw the look on Jaebum’s face change.
“Temporarily? More than just one night?” He asked again, and Youngjae nodded. “Yeah hyung, more than just one night. There’s just one rule though.” Jaebum promptly asked, “What is it?”
“You can’t be inviting people over here. As long as it’s just you here, I’m fine with it.” “Okay, that’s fine. No friends over.” Jaebum confirmed, and Youngjae smiled at him. “Okay hyung. Well, I have to get ready for work now so… just hang out, I guess.” Jaebum hummed in agreement and Youngjae went to get ready.
After he was finished he walked back into the living and Jaebum wasn’t paying attention to him at all, but as soon as he finished lacing up his boots he noticed Jaebum looking at him. He shot Jaebum a questioning look and Jaebum looked away quickly as if he’d been caught doing something wrong. Youngjae laughed to himself for a minute before he realized something.“Hyung we should probably exchange numbers if you’re gonna be staying here.” He said, hoping it didn’t sound like he just wanted Jaebum’s number.
Youngjae knew it probably wasn’t a good idea to get a crush on someone like Jaebum but he couldn’t deny that Jaebum was awfully attractive. He wasn’t princely attractive like Youngjae’s coworker Mark was, for example, but it was more sinfully attractive. His looks were definitely fitting for his personality – brazen and unrefined, but still leaving you wanting to know more. Youngjae had also learned that, when Jaebum wasn’t angry or dog drunk, he was actually very good company. There was a lot about Jaebum to like.
“Sure Youngjae, that’s fine. If I need anything I’ll text you.” Jaebum replied as he began putting his number into Youngjae’s phone and effectively tearing Youngjae away from his wandering thoughts about his temporary roommate-hyung.
“Alright uh… I still don’t know how well you can cook yet and honestly I don’t want you burning down my apartment while I’m at work, so he’s some money to call for some takeout for dinner.” Youngjae said, laughing and receiving a not-so-subtle glare from Jaebum. “I’m just kidding hyung. Really though, there’s a great little chicken place down the street. You should get some.” “Well I do really love chicken.” Jaebum mused, and Youngjae laughed again. “See you in the morning, hyung.” “Bye Youngjae. And uhh… thanks again.” Youngjae smiled back at Jaebum as he left for the night.
After his shift Youngjae opened the door quietly, not knowing what to expect. He saw Jaebum sleeping peacefully on the couch and he immediately felt bad for him because he knew his back would be hurting when he woke up. Youngjae walked into the kitchen and noticed a distinct lack of dirty dishes in the sink. He had planned to wash them when he woke up later but Jaebum had already done them himself. Youngjae smiled, got a glass of water, and promptly removed his uniform so he could crash on the bed.
A week of living with Jaebum had passed and Youngjae had grown used to coming home and seeing his hyung sleeping on the couch when he returned from third-shift. Youngjae decided to buy a cushion to place over the couch to make it more comfortable and the two of them alternated between the bed and couch so neither one of them would have to suffer for more than one night at a time.
However, when Youngjae opened the door one week later, Jaebum was gone. Youngjae thought maybe he decided to sleep on the bed even though it was technically his turn to take the couch, but he wasn’t there either. In fact, Jaebum wasn’t in the apartment and neither was any of the older man’s belongings.
Youngjae began to worry immediately because Jaebum hadn’t mentioned any plans to visit anyone. He took out his phone and texted Jaebum although he didn’t expect a response. It was early in the morning so Jaebum was probably sleeping, but it was worth a try.
Youngjae: Hyung where are you?
Youngjae: Why did you leave? Where did you go?
Youngjae sat down on the bed and waited with the phone in his hand. Luckily it wasn’t too long before Jaebum responded to him.
Jaebum: Oh hey Youngjae. Yeah I decided to start staying with someone else. A week is about as long as I usually stay at someone ’s place so I figured I ’d move on to somewhere else and stop intruding and taking up your time. I really appreciate you letting me stay there though. It was fun.
Youngjae read the text message two times to make sure he understood it correctly. He didn’t understand why Jaebum left. He thought it was nice having Jaebum around, but apparently Jaebum thought he was intruding. Youngjae was the one who invited Jaebum to stay though.
Youngjae turned on his phone again and quickly called Jaebum. It rang four times and he was about to hang up when Jaebum finally answered. “Hey Youngjae, what’s up?” Jaebum asked casually, and it honestly pissed Youngjae off a bit.
“Hyung where are you? I didn’t tell you that you had to leave. Tell me where you’re at and I’ll come pick you up.” Youngjae asked, hoping it didn’t sound frantic. “No Youngjae it’s fine honestly. I’ve already got another friend who said I could stay with him. Don’t worry about it.” Jaebum replied, and Youngjae bit down on his lip a bit out of annoyance.
“Hyung I really don’t mind you staying here. I said you could. If I don’t want you here I’ll tell you that myself. Just tell me where you’re at so I can come and get you.” Youngjae repeated, and he heard Jaebum sigh on the phone. “Alright. I’ll text you the address.” “Thank you. See you soon.” Youngjae said before hanging up and letting out a groan of frustration.
Youngjae was way too tired to be out driving again but he got into his regular vehicle and made the trip to where Jaebum was staying anyway. He wasn’t far away so it wasn’t too much of a hassle, and he did sleep a lot the previous day so it was fine.
When Youngjae arrived, Jaebum was already waiting outside with his small travel bag full of clothing and essentials, and got into Youngjae’s car without question.
Youngjae drove the two back to his apartment and parked the car, but he didn’t turn it off. When Jaebum gave him a questioning look, Youngjae sighed. “I really don’t get why you felt like you had to leave hyung. If I made you feel like I didn’t want you there, I’m sorry. That’s not the case though.” Youngjae explained.
“First of all, will you call me by my name please? It’s Jaebum. My name is not hyung. Second of all, I never said you made me feel like I wasn’t wanted there. A week is just the normal timeframe that I stay somewhere before I move on. It’s not a big deal.” Jaebum countered, and Youngjae felt even more upset.
“I know your name is Jaebum, but I figured you wouldn’t mind me calling you hyung since it’s a normal thing to call a guy who’s older than you. If you want, I’ll just call you Jaebum then. And I really don’t mind if you stay with me longer than a week. It’s fine, really.” Youngjae said calmly, but Jaebum threw his head back and hit the headrest on the seat hard.
“What is with you man? Why are you so hell-bent on keeping me there and helping me? I’m not a charity case and honestly, I can’t seem to figure out what you’re getting out of this. Are you wanting to fuck or something? I mean I’m probably up for it if that’s what you’re wanting, because you are seriously hot honestly, but you don’t seem like the one-night-stand kinda guy to me.” Jaebum yelled, his voice getting louder and louder as he went on.
Youngjae wanted to respond but he wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure if he should be angry that Jaebum assumed that Youngjae was using him, or even more heartbroken for Jaebum because Jaebum just assumes people are using him if they try to help or be nice to him. It made sense, seeing how detached Jaebum was and the bad habits he had picked up. Jaebum had probably convinced himself that people around him didn’t care about or love him a long time ago. Youngjae couldn’t be angry at him, even if he wanted to. He was more worried about what happened to Jaebum to make him feel like this, but that would be a conversation for another day.
Youngjae took a deep breath before he responded. “First off, no. I’m not trying to keep you at my apartment and get closer to you because I want to fuck you.” He said between gritted teeth, and then he continued. “I honestly just want to help you, Jaebum. I already told you, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I think that you’ve had a really rough time, especially these past few years, and you probably don’t think you have anyone who actually gives a shit about you. Truth is that, yes, I haven’t known you very long. But I can tell that you’re a good person just from the time I’ve known you and especially living with you. When you’re not thrashing around angry or drunk, you’re a good guy. I don’t want anything from you. And honestly, it was really nice having someone there waiting when I got home from work this past week.” Youngjae confessed.
Before Jaebum could further argue, Youngjae spoke up again. “So, Jaebum, I’m gonna give you an ultimatum. One, I’ll unlock the door and you can get the fuck out of my car. I’ll stop trying to help you. If I see you again for whatever reason, we won’t be friends. We’ll just be strangers.”
“And two?” Jaebum asked nonchalantly. “Or two, we can walk upstairs, we’ll go to sleep, and I’ll make us food when we wake up. We’ll eat together, and that’ll be that. You can stay there as long as you need to. So what’s your decision?” Youngjae said as he unlocked the car door, giving Jaebum the choice.
There was a minute of uncomfortable silence in the car before Jaebum cleared his throat. “Let’s just go upstairs…” Jaebum said with a sigh, and Youngjae smiled to himself before he turned the car off and they walked up to the apartment in silence. When they got up there, Jaebum quickly said “I’ll take the couch tonight.” Youngjae shook his head in response.
“The bed is big enough for both of us, Jaebum.” Jaebum narrowed his eyes at Youngjae. “So do you wanna fuck or not? You’re giving me mixed signals here.”
Youngjae sighed. “No, I’m not. The couch is too uncomfortable and the bed is big enough for the both of us. That’s all it is. And I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’m perfectly capable of kicking your fucking ass.” He warned, and Jaebum laughed loudly. “Wow, you sure do swear a lot.” Jaebum said, and Youngjae quickly argued back saying “You’re one to talk!”
Youngjae woke up the next day and immediately something felt off. Jaebum’s arms were wrapped around him tightly similar to how Jaebum usually slept with the dog plushie, and Youngjae felt a bit embarrassed.
From their closeness, Youngjae could smell the shampoo in Jaebum’s ruby red hair and the cologne Jaebum wore. He smelled heavenly and Youngjae honestly wouldn’t mind just pretending to sleep so he could stay there, but he didn’t think that was a good idea. So, reluctantly, Youngjae eased himself out of Jaebum’s grip and got out of the bed without the older man waking up.
Jaebum once again woke up when he heard – or probably smelled – food cooking and he walked into the kitchen rubbing his eyes. Youngjae had gotten a bit too used to it and he let himself appreciate how adorable Jaebum was.
Jaebum noticed him staring this time though, and asked “What is it?” Youngjae felt his cheeks flush a bit and he shook his head quickly. “Nothing Jaebum. Good morning.” “Good morning Youngjae.”
As the two ate Jaebum put down his chopsticks for a moment and looked across the small dining table to Youngjae. “You’re a really good cook, you know. I think I told you that before, but it’s true. I haven’t had homemade food this good in so long.” Jaebum said and the two looked at each other and smiled for a moment, but something had been bothering Youngjae and he finally decided to bring it up, even if it would ruin the mood.
“Jaebum, there’s something I want to ask you. Will you be honest with me?” Youngjae asked. “Honestly that depends on what you ask me.” Jaebum responded. Jaebum was obviously suspicious, but Youngjae just had to ask.
“What did that guy say to you in the bar that night that caused you to get in a fight with him?” Youngjae asked and he saw Jaebum grit his teeth.
"He called me a fucking faggot." Jaebum spit the words out of his mouth and Youngjae's eyes widened. Youngjae muttered an "Oh." and Jaebum took it as a cue to continue.
"I am not gonna let anyone ridicule me because of my sexuality. So as far as I'm concerned, he got what he deserved that night. A few bruises and a night in jail were well worth teaching him a lesson." Jaebum explained. He was angry again, but not at Youngjae.
Youngjae understood though. Even though it had been a long time since that word had been directed at him, it happened before and it hurt so much. He didn't have the same reaction as Jaebum did. He didn't get furious and hit the person who said it, but he understood that different people are going to have different reactions in that situation.
"I understand, Jaebum. Someone said it to me once as well. It wasn't a guy though. It was a girl in my senior year of high school. She was really pretty, and she asked me out. I tried to be nice and turn her down, but as soon as I did she told me that there was a rumor about me going around and that it must be true since I turned her down. I stopped wanting to go to school and my parents noticed. When I told them what was going on, at first they told me that it was fine since the rumor obviously wasn't true, right? But when I told them it was, that's when they started treating me differently. I moved out after I graduated."
Jaebum listened intently while Youngjae explained, not even looking away for a moment. "So my point with all of this is that I really do understand why you did what you did." Youngjae finished.
"If you understand then why did you arrest me?" "Well you weren't very forthcoming with that information, were you?" Youngjae deadpanned.
"I just figured you would mock me too." Jaebum muttered. "Not everyone is a bad person, Jaebum. I really am sorry you had to go through that." "Same for me. I'm sorry for what you went through in high school." Jaebum said as he smiled at Youngjae who nodded back at him.
After what seemed like an eternity of eating in silence, Jaebum spoke again. "So I'm just wondering... Are you seeing anyone?"
Youngjae looked up from his plate in confusion. "Uh... No, I'm not seeing anyone. Why do you ask?" He saw Jaebum's cheeks turn a bit pink and he stayed silent for a minute.
"Well, just in case you were, I didn't want to intrude if he came over or something." He explained, but Youngjae thought it was a bit of a weird reason considering Jaebum had been staying there over a week now and nobody had come to visit Youngjae even once.
"Well, no need to worry. That's definitely not going to be an issue. I haven't dated anyone in a few months." Youngjae explained, and Jaebum promptly asked "Why not?"
"Well, I'm sure you can tell that my work schedule is a bit weird since I work at night when people usually go on dates and sleep during the day. Also I don't know. I just never found anyone worth pursuing I guess." Jaebum hummed softly and nodded in response.
"What about you, Jaebum?" "You can call me hyung if you want..." Jaebum mumbled. Youngjae was pretty sure of what he said but he asked Jaebum to repeat himself just in case. "I said you can call me hyung if you want. I was just mad that night and I took it out on you. I'm sorry."
Youngjae smiled. "Okay hyung, what about you? Are you seeing anyone?" Youngjae asked casually. "Nope. There is a guy I like but I'm not really sure how he feels about me." Jaebum responded.
"You should definitely ask him out. Dating someone might be good for you." Youngjae said, even if he was feeling a bit jealous of this Mystery Man. "Yeah you're right. I think he is pretty good for me." Jaebum said with a smile. Youngjae didn't want to press the matter any further so he let it drop there.
A few days had passed with Jaebum and Youngjae’s living – and sleeping – situation becoming more comfortable and routine. Youngjae came home early in the morning and simply crawled into bed, usually not even waking up Jaebum anymore.
If Jaebum was still in bed when Youngjae woke up he’d be wrapped around him like Youngjae was Jaebum’s personal pillow. Youngjae never minded it though. Jaebum always smelled nice and it was nice having someone hold him like this, even if Jaebum didn’t realize he was doing it.
Sometimes Jaebum would already be awake making breakfast – or lunch, honestly – for the two them, and Youngjae had to pretend like he was happy about it even if he really wanted to wake up curled up next to his hyung.
This morning was one of the lucky ones where Youngjae woke up snuggled against Jaebum. Youngjae pressed his body against Jaebum’s, hoping he didn’t wake Jaebum up. As soon as he could feel Jaebum’s toned stomach against his back he let out a deep breath and he felt Jaebum pull him even tighter.
Youngjae’s eyes shot up and he tried to pull himself away but Jaebum kept him in his embrace and Youngjae could feel Jaebum’s chest moving up and down from laughter. “What are you doing, Youngjae-yah?” Jaebum asked, voice low and raspy from sleep. Youngjae tried not to think about how good he sounded like that, and he also tried not to think about how he had just called him Youngjae-yah. It was the first time he used a Korean honorific.
“I don’t know what you mean hyung.” He said defensively. “You scooted back to get as close to me as you could. Why did you do that?” Youngjae could practically hear Jaebum smirking, but he wasn’t willing to turn over and look to confirm it.
“You’re the one with your arms around me, hyung. And you were hugging me too tightly! I could barely move. I was just trying to readjust.” Youngjae lied, and he felt Jaebum laugh again. “Whatever you say, Youngjae-yah.” He replied as he removed his arm from around Youngjae.
“Instead of making food, do you want to go out and eat today hyung?” Youngjae asked, and Jaebum thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Sure, why not.”
After they both got ready, Youngjae drove them both to a nicer restaurant and he noticed a concerned look on Jaebum’s face when he parked the car. “What’s wrong hyung? Do you not like this place?” He asked, and Jaebum shook his head. “It’s not that. It just looks expensive.”
“Ahh... yeah it is a little bit, but I’ve got the money for it. Don’t worry about it.” Jaebum sighed but nodded and followed Youngjae in anyway.
Jaebum ordered one of the cheapest items on the menu even though Youngjae told him to order whatever he wanted. “Hyung, you didn’t have to do that you know.” Youngjae scolded him, but Jaebum wasn’t willing to listen, as per usual. Youngjae had long since realized how stubborn Jaebum could be.
“I know, but I’m already mooching off you enough. I don’t need you spending all your money on me at some expensive restaurant too.” The older man explained. Youngjae sighed and just let it go since he knew it was a lost cause.
Luckily Jaebum seemed to love the food he ordered, eating quickly and barely talking to Youngjae at all. Youngjae allowed himself to watch Jaebum for a bit – if there’s one thing Jaebum seemed to love the most, it’s food. He always made a point to compliment Youngjae’s cooking, especially when it was traditional Korean food. Aside from fried chicken, Jaebum seemed to love Korean food the most.
“This is so good. Do you want to try some of it?” Jaebum said, finally looking up from his plate. Youngjae nodded and Jaebum gave him a bit off his fork. It was really good, and Youngjae was glad because it was still pretty costly even if it was nearly the cheapest item on the menu. “You know, I haven’t been to a place this nice in who knows how long.” Jaebum said offhandedly, and Youngjae felt his heart sink a bit.
Youngjae wondered what kind of meals Jaebum was eating before he started staying at Youngjae’s apartment, or if he sometimes went without meals at all. It was no wonder that Jaebum was so defensive, knowing that he may have had a pretty hard life over the past few years. Maybe if Youngjae’s parents had reacted the same way that Jaebum’s did, he might be in the same situation as the man sitting across from him.
“Hey hyung.” Youngjae said, earning a look from Jaebum that indicated he was listening. “How come you were so against me calling you hyung before but you were suddenly so okay with it? And you even called me Youngjae-yah.”
Jaebum propped his head up with his hands and let out a breath. “Honorifics always used to remind me of my parents honestly. They were so traditional and when I left I didn’t want to partake in anything that reminded me of them. Occasionally I’d go and get Korean food because I really love it but aside from that, I just stayed away from the culture. But with you… it’s okay. I don’t mind it. Actually, I’ve been able to appreciate my culture again because of you, and I’m really thankful for that.”
Youngjae’s cheeks felt warm just thinking about how much Jaebum had opened up to him in such a short time. The first time they met, and even just two weeks ago, they were definitely not close. Jaebum didn’t want to share any information about himself at all, but now he was so honest and sincere. It felt better than anything he had accomplished as an officer, knowing that he might have genuinely helped someone for the better.
“I think I’m going to start looking for a job today or tomorrow as well. I want to help you out a bit since you’re letting me stay with you. It’s the least I can do. I’ll try to get a third-shift job since it will make our schedules match up better, and I think third-shift jobs are easier to get anyway.” Jaebum stated, and Youngjae nodded. “Okay, Jaebumie-hyung.”
Youngjae looked into the mirror and admired his new haircut briefly. He wasn’t a fan of the standard-issue cop crew-cut, but he kept it a bit longer than normal on top and got a fade undercut. It looked pretty good honestly. He had went with Jaebum to a salon the day before since Jaebum wanted to re-dye his hair red. Jaebum kept his hair long and Youngjae had to keep himself from staring yet again. He was lucky to have such a nice looking roommate.
As he walked into the living room Jaebum was already there, since the two didn’t stay in the same room while each other changed. Jaebum looked up from the book he was reading when he heard Youngjae enter the room and smiled. He had on a pair of silver round glasses like Harry Potter and Youngjae admired his cuteness yet again. Jaebum’s looks were like Jekyll and Hyde – he could easily switch between his adorably nerdy side and his unhindered sexy side. Youngjae had to regularly keep his not-so-innocent longing for his roommate in check at this point.
“Youngjae-yah.” Jaebum said, and Youngjae mumbled a “Hmm?” as he laced his boots up. “Whenever I have a new job, and I get my first paycheck… do you wanna go some place with me?”
The question piqued Youngjae’s interest and he let out of the bootlace to look up at Jaebum. “Go some place? Like where?” he asked, and Jaebum looked away from him. “I mean like… do you want to go on a date?” Jaebum asked him quietly as if he was expecting Youngjae to flat-out refuse him.
“You… want to go on a date? With me?” Youngjae asked again, and Jaebum finally looked at him. “Yeah. If you don’t want to, it’s fin-“ “No! I mean, yes, I do want to. I’m just surprised is all. You never really seemed like you were interested in me. Actually you seemed like I annoyed you most of the time.” Youngjae admitted.
“That was before. At first I didn’t think you cared much, just like everyone else. When I got into a fight that first night you and I met I was a little hopeful, but then I never saw you again after I was booked in the jail so I just gave up the idea. But honestly, you’re the only person who has tried this much to help me and it feels like you’re the first person who has actually cared about me in so long. I like spending time with you and I really like living here. I want to start helping you out because I want to do something for you for a change.”
Youngjae stayed quiet. He wanted to talk, to say anything, but he had no clue what to tell Jaebum. He was so, so happy. He had thought about Jaebum for a while, but then he remembered a previous conversation he and Jaebum had shared.
“What about the guy you like?” Youngjae blurted out, and Jaebum was clearly taken aback. “What guy-oh! You mean the conversation we had before… I was talking about you, Youngjae. I said he was good for me. Who else has been doing so much for me lately but you? Wow I thought I was being so obvious.”
Youngjae looked down to his boots again, “Oh.” He heard Jaebum laughing at him and he looked up with what he hoped was an intimidating glare but it apparently wasn’t since Jaebum only started laughing harder upon seeing Youngjae’s face. “Hyung! Don’t laugh at me.” He pouted.
“I’m sorry Youngjae. You’re just… you’re something else, honestly. You’re so damn loud all the time, and so pushy.” “Wow, is this how you think confessions work?” Youngjae interrupted him, but Jaebum quickly placed a finger on Youngjae’s lips and the younger boy stopped talking immediately.
“Like I was saying, you’re loud and pushy, but honestly it’s endearing. And your cooking skills are incredible… and your singing. Wow, you really sing well… loudly, but well.” He said, chuckling. “You’ve really pushed your way into my life. You practically wouldn’t take no for an answer… I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.” He confessed, eyes looking down to the ground again and voice almost in a whisper.
“Hyung…” Youngjae breathed, finally removing Jaebum’s finger from their place on his lips. He had never been confessed to before, and he definitely never expected one to come from Jaebum. “You know, you’re pretty rough around the edges yourself. You’re foul-mouthed and you can be really snappy sometimes, but honestly I think it’s kinda hot.” Youngjae watched as Jaebum’s head raised so fast, eyes widened as if trying to stare a hole through Youngjae’s body.
“But honestly you’re also a cutie. I found that out the first night I let you stay here when you snuggled up to my dog plushie – her name is Coco by the way. I wasn’t expecting you to be such a softie, especially with that “bad boy” look you usually have going on. You kinda remind me of Danny from Grease, except so much hotter. And your hair looks very nice in red, by the way. You should keep it that way.” Youngjae smiled and placed his hand on Jaebum’s shoulder.
“Would it be too cheesy if I started to sing You’re the One That I Want?” Jaebum joked and Youngjae smacked him on the shoulder. “Yes. It would be. And besides, that’s what Danny sings when he’s trying to win Sandy back, and you already have me.” Youngjae smirked.
“Oh, is that right? I don’t think I want to waste any more time then.” Jaebum said, pulling Youngjae closer to him and bringing their lips together. Jaebum placed his hand on Youngjae’s thigh and rubbed his thumb in small circles while he kissed him. Youngjae could feel Jaebum’s breath against his skin and he pressed back with just as much eagerness, but Jaebum pulled away much too quickly for Youngjae’s liking.
But then Jaebum was smiling so softly at him and he couldn’t be upset. “You know, I feel like I’ve been waiting so long to do that honestly. Even if it’s only been a week or so, it felt like forever. This morning I was already awake when you pressed up against me and I wanted to keep you in bed and kiss you right there, but you said you’d kick my ass if I tried anything so-” “Will you just shut up and kiss me again, Jaebum-hyung?” Youngjae interrupted.
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say, Officer.”