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Summary
It's not that Dean doesn't get that Sam doesn't want to talk about whatever Hell did to him; Dean practically wrote the book on that particular brand of avoidance. Except that Sam doesn't do this. Dean is supposed to clam up and Sam is supposed to pry and bleat about how "communication is good for the soul" or some shit. Sam is supposed to cry on his shoulder and Dean is supposed to stoically hold him and let him get it out, maybe shedding a manful tear or two in solidarity.
Here's the thing: Sam comes back from Hell with a bubble of space around him. He doesn't want to be touched, especially by Dean, and he won't explain. He won't talk about Hell at all, and Dean's going crazy. It's going to take a strange case (and a little magic) in Michigan to break the floodgates, but when Dean finally learns the truth, he might wish that he hadn't...