worst_intention



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane can’t stand his college roommate and teammate, Ilya Rozanov. Can’t stand his arrogance and his messiness and his constant sleeping around.

    But then the entire team, Shane included, welcomes their families to campus for Parents Weekend.

    And Shane also can’t stand that Ilya is alone.

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    26 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya thinks about the last night they spent together, thinks about Shane splayed out on a hotel mattress pleading for his touch, thinks about how they hadn’t even kissed, and it starts as a strange little tickle in the back of his throat. Barely-there. He could ignore it if he wanted.

    Then the intensity grows, flourishes into full-blow irritation, and suddenly he’s sputtering on his Coke and attracting the attention of the woman in the first-class seat across the aisle from him. He thinks it’s just some odd coughing fit, or that he inhaled his soda on accident, so he’s shocked when he feels something soft and smooth and triangular against his tongue.

    It’s not until he spits the object into the napkin he’d received with his drink that he can see what it is: a long, thin, green leaf. A sepal.

    As soon as Ilya realizes what he’s looking at, he’s flooded with dread.

    Ilya's known these feelings were doomed from the start. He never thought they'd literally kill him.

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    26 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane’s heart drops into his stomach. “Ilya,” he breathes. His vision goes blurry, throat tight. He tries to swallow it down and focus, shove his swirling thoughts into a neat little box, but it’s impossible. He feels—he might throw up, actually. “Are you seriously telling me you tried to fucking kill yourself?”

    “Yes,” Ilya agrees blandly, “It did not work.”

    Ilya calls Shane from the hospital. Shane handles it very normally.

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    26 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya died, yes, but then the doctors saved him. Cardiopulmonary resuscitation in the ambulance, three electric shocks, two emergency surgeries, twenty-six units of blood. Ilya died, but then he came back.

    If only Shane could get his subconscious to understand that.

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    19 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane and Ilya broke up. It was the adult, mature decision they made together and moved on from. Except Shane is still Ilya's emergency contact and Ilya's coach just called.

    Ilya had a seizure. Well, seizures. Multiple. He is in the hospital, in the operation block and suddenly Shane is met with the possibility that last words Ilya Rozanov ever heard from him were "Maybe love isn't enough."

    And then complications occur. And Ilya is not waking up.

    ***

    They’d sat on a perfectly ordinary Wednesday afternoon in their perfectly ordinary kitchen, with coffee that had gone cold on the table between them, and calmly dismantled the life they’d built together. One sentence at a time.

    “Maybe we need space.” “Maybe we’re just hurting each other.” “Maybe love isn’t enough.”

    He wants to go back and shove that version of himself against the wall. Shake him until his teeth rattle.

    Love is the only thing that matters when someone is under general anaesthesia and a stranger is touching their brain, Shane thinks wildly. Love is literally the only currency worth anything in a room like this.

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    12 Jan 2026