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Summary
"Sveta," he says, before she can greet him. "I think I'm about to do something very stupid."
"You're always doing something stupid," she laughs, her voice tinny over the speakerphone. "What is it this time?"
"I am in a staring contest with a bottle of pills," Ilya says. "And I think the pills might win."
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Or: An alternate take on Ilya's mental health after moving to Ottawa, featuring the reality of long distance relationships, Ilya learning to captain a new team, and a series of game tapes made by Ilya's dead father.
Series
- Part 10 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,171
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 131
- Kudos:
- 2,034
- Bookmarks:
- 534
- Hits:
- 12,087
Bookmarked by virx
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
Ilya is sipping a cappuccino and watching Shane do very perverted yoga when he realizes that he doesn’t want to die.
It’s a dumb series of thoughts. He sees Shane bend over, neatly folding himself into a hunchback as his hands flatten by his feet, and Ilya thinks, I bet he’s going to love it when we’re old and grey and he can outrace me with my stupid hip replacement. And then he realizes that not only does he anticipate being old and grey enough to need a hip replacement, but that he actually wants to get there.
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Or: the existential crisis that happens when you’ve been depressed your whole life and then realize, suddenly, in your thirties, that you’re happy enough with your life that you no longer want to die.
Series
- Part 8 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,619
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 2,134
- Bookmarks:
- 414
- Hits:
- 9,540
Bookmarked by virx
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Be careful,” Shane frets, one hand hovering over Ilya’s shoulder. “It’s icy, and I don’t want to be a widower.”
“Oh, we’d have to be much higher than this for the fall to kill me,” Ilya says, gaze still fixed on the cool black skyline. “At least seven stories.”
It’s not until much later, as the waitress is clearing the dishes from dinner, that Yuna finds herself wondering why Ilya knows exactly how high a fall needs to be in order to kill him.
Or: Yuna learns about Ilya's past bit by bit over the years.
Series
- Part 7 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,948
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 131
- Kudos:
- 4,310
- Bookmarks:
- 782
- Hits:
- 18,741
Bookmarked by virx
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
Last night, Ilya dreamed Shane served him divorce papers. They were making dinner when suddenly Shane pulled them out of the microwave and thrust them into Ilya’s hand. This isn’t working, he said. I’m divorcing you. No negotiations.
And look: of course Ilya understands that it was just a dream. The official divorce petition was a stack of sticky notes. Shane had faintly green skin and, Ilya is pretty sure, a third eye next to his left nipple. It obviously wasn’t real.
But.
Series
- Part 5 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,486
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 169
- Kudos:
- 7,378
- Bookmarks:
- 1,271
- Hits:
- 45,480
Bookmarked by virx
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
Shane sends him a text that says 'thinking about your cock' with a picture of his rippling abs, and even though Ilya really appreciates the abs, all he can think about is the faint bruise blooming on Shane's ribs, and whether it hurts him very badly, and whether there's anything Ilya could do to make it hurt less, if he were there. He wants to be there, he realizes. He wants to be there for the rest of his life.
He has to duck out of the team weight room so he can cough up a fistful of petals.
So.
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Or: Ilya gets Hanahaki disease.
Series
- Part 6 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,703
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 101
- Kudos:
- 2,732
- Bookmarks:
- 573
- Hits:
- 16,838
Bookmarked by virx
18 Feb 2026
