1 - 20 of 107 Bookmarks by upular
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Stede Bonnet and Ed Teach are falling in love. The only problem is Stede Bonnet and Ed Teach also happen to hate each other.
(It’ll make sense when you read it, promise.)
Modern AU where these two lunatics own rival pirate themed theme parks at the English seaside. Unbetaed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 66,761
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 917
- Kudos:
- 1,099
- Bookmarks:
- 260
- Hits:
- 21,971
Bookmarked by upular
30 Aug 2025
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Not Even Silence In The Mountains by binz, shiplizard for gryvon
Fandoms: Dresden Files - Jim Butcher, Dresden Files - All Media Types
16 May 2010
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Summary
First the world ended, then they survived.
Series
- Part 1 of Not Even Silence in Chicago
Bookmarked by upular
22 Mar 2025
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all that it touches to wonder by cynassa
Fandoms: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
19 Oct 2023
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Summary
Life after war has much more politics than Gimli thought, and much less Legolas than he would like, but the latter he knows (or believes) he has to get used to. Or: Legolas leaps, occasionally stumbling, into a new age, while Gimli can't see the wood for the (green)leaf.
"How do your people court then?"
The question was not as abrupt as it would seem, firstly because the news that his brother was courting had clearly left Legolas in deep thought for a number of days, secondly because Legolas had long ago confessed his curiosity about the lives and customs of Gimli's kin, and thirdly because Legolas' grace was well-known to be in his light feet and not his manners.
However, Gimli saw no reason to let him have his own way entirely. "And by my people do you mean the Longbeards, or the Dwarves of Erebor, or the wandering mender that I now seem to be?"
"I meant," Legolas said, "wandering jesters."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,816
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 247
- Kudos:
- 1,229
- Bookmarks:
- 410
- Hits:
- 12,619
Bookmarked by upular
21 Jan 2025
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A Passion For Mushrooms by Chrononautical
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
21 Sep 2017
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Summary
There are many trials for a hobbit attempting to make a life among dwarves. A hobbit wants a garden. A hobbit wants to eat regular meals. A hobbit wants friends, good books, and comfortable chairs. Bilbo does his best to carve out a little hobbit life for himself in the mountain. If only there were not one final obstacle. For a hobbit heart wants love, and among dwarves that is a sticky subject.
Series
- Part 1 of The Mushroom Mine
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,912
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Collections:
- 40
- Comments:
- 4,526
- Kudos:
- 14,081
- Bookmarks:
- 4,012
- Hits:
- 330,686
Bookmarked by upular
21 Dec 2024
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"An adventure?" Billa Baggins, a respectable genteel hobbit of the Shire, shivered and tried to convince herself it was a shudder.
In which a perfectly proper not-so-young lady whistles her reputation down the wind and finds she really is her mother's daughter.
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The guy who showed up before service was some young guy in his early twenties, a gym rat with neatly coiffed blond hair.
“Does an Italian DILF work here?” He motioned above Carmy’s hand with a flat hand. “Yea high, super blue eyes?”
It took Carmy embarrassingly long to catch up. He just frowned, chugging until— Christ, he meant Richie. Carmy said the first thing that came to mind.
“He’s Polish.”
Series
- Part 1 of Some good days
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Summary
Ginny is sorted into Slytherin. It takes her seven years to figure out why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 182,687
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 51
- Comments:
- 2,067
- Kudos:
- 12,419
- Bookmarks:
- 6,171
- Hits:
- 439,512
Bookmarked by upular
21 Oct 2024
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Sansa finds it difficult to look at Jon’s face, with its weathered lines and cragginess. It is the face of the North and a face that northerners trust; the face of Sansa’s brothers and her father, who had been loved and respected by their tenants as their forefathers had been when they were kings. How can Sansa feel anything but resentment, looking into that face and knowing that all of her years of hard work will never earn her the respect that that profile engenders within seconds?
But she does. It is a small, burning coal of something that must be smothered.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 72,777
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 1,160
- Kudos:
- 3,462
- Bookmarks:
- 1,290
- Hits:
- 76,226
Bookmarked by upular
11 Sep 2024
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Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau, summerofspock
Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)
26 Jul 2021
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Summary
Aziraphale and Crowley have lived together for three years when lockdown goes into effect. When Aziraphale meets a nice girl on Tinder who he thinks is his perfect match, he's delighted. There's just one hurdle: that pesky virginity thing. Lucky for him, Crowley has always been there for him. He's helped Aziraphale with every other problem through the years, why not this one?
Series
- Part 1 of NAMDBAFM
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Water Flowing Underground by zemph147
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV), Our Flag Means Death (TV) RPF, New Zealand Actor RPF
15 Oct 2022
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Summary
Actors and long-time friends Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach shoot the second season of their television show about the historical Gentleman Pirate Rhys Darby and Taika "Blackbeard" Waititi. Things do not go as planned.
Series
- Part 1 of Under the Rocks and Stones
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the feud [or, edward teach vs. the lycra warrior] by foxtails
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Apr 2023
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Summary
Mr Cyclist clearly wasn’t a one off, because once again, he’s in Ed’s seat. He’s in Ed’s seat and his stupid bike is propped up next to him, and he’s wearing a lot of lycra. Full outfit. Like he’s some kind of serious professional cyclist. A serious professional cyclist taking a break to drink tea and eat cake in Ed’s seat. At Ed’s favourite cafe. It’s not a competition or anything, but Ed used to be properly famous. Ed was a professional athlete. Kinda. He was a professional athlete, and he still engages with his sport, even if he doesn’t compete in it. He was here first. So if this guy and his lycra and his expensive looking bike are here to steal Ed’s thunder, he’s not gonna go down quietly. Or easily.
or: Edward Teach vs. the Lycra Warrior that he absolutely, definitely, 100% does not desire carnally. At all. Shut up, Lucius.
Bookmarked by upular
30 Oct 2023
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Summary
Ed's minding his business when the new neighbor's kid comes around holding a human puppet. It's creepy as hell, but as soon as the kid's father rounds the corner, Ed doesn't mind.
ETA: Podfic available here from Kninjaknitter my darling dearest
“Hello,” says the strangest voice Ed’s ever heard, jolting him out of his reverie, sending his heart speeding into chaos.He opens his eyes and he’s staring straight at a stuffed animal in the shape of a human person. It is bald with a tiny hat and too-big eyes and it wears a blue shirt and a name tag that says Jeffy in the sort of scrawl normally reserved for words written in blood.
A puppet, he realizes several seconds beyond when it would have been appropriate to respond.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,773
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 1,644
- Kudos:
- 1,739
- Bookmarks:
- 586
- Hits:
- 32,682
Bookmarked by upular
04 Oct 2023
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Reality Checks by manic_intent for Blinkingkills (alexwhitewell)
Fandoms: John Wick (Movies)
04 Aug 2019
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Summary
On the first day of John becoming a free agent, Marcus said, “Why don’t you start a new job?”
John stared at Marcus from the armchair. Marcus had come over with a bottle of Old Rip Van Winkle bourbon to celebrate, a rare vintage that John didn’t exactly have the palate to appreciate. Marcus had poured John a couple of fingers of it anyway, and was sprawled over the couch with his grizzled head propped up on cushions. “I already have a job,” John said.
“Killing people isn’t a job. It’s a hobby.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,471
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 111
- Kudos:
- 1,504
- Bookmarks:
- 322
- Hits:
- 9,945
Bookmarked by upular
11 Sep 2023
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Summary
“You’re the new blacksmith, right?” The baker says, stepping back behind the counter. Nandor dumbly follows him, watches rapt as he leans on an elbow, face turning in his palm. Coy.
“Yes. You stopped by last week, I remember.” Nandor fumbles with his hands, looking around the little cafe. There’s barely anyone here. They can talk.
“What did you think?”
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A new blacksmith comes to the pier, and Guillermo doesn't know what to do with himself. They take up a whirlwind situationship that gets complicated when he finds out the man is a vampire. Maybe it would be easier if Guillermo didn't want to be one so bad. Maybe it would be easier if Nandor didn't hate himself.
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Summary
The largely accidental courtship of Edgin Darvis, or: Edgin and Xenk negotiate over a question of genre.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,987
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 277
- Kudos:
- 2,295
- Bookmarks:
- 532
- Hits:
- 15,031
Bookmarked by upular
19 Jun 2023
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How to grow a heart three sizes by bad_idea_in_a_glass
Fandoms: Free Guy (2021), Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Movies)
19 Jun 2023
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Summary
Even big-city, suit-wearing guys who get dumped for the small-town guy who wears flannel deserve love too.
Bookmarked by upular
12 Jun 2023
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"No, it's fine," Julian said automatically. "But, Garak, is everything all right?"
"Captain Sisko wanted to see me," Garak said—which was so conspicuous a refusal to answer the question Julian had asked that it almost didn't qualify as an evasion. He pulled out the chair opposite Julian, and sat.
"Captain Sisko? Why?"
"Well, apparently," Garak said, "Cardassia has lodged a formal request with the Federation for my extradition."
(Or: Garak has a problem. Julian marries him to fix it. Except that means Julian also has a problem, albeit of a very different kind.)
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Summary
The Colorado River runs dry and sparks thirty years of Water Wars. Blackbeard is the most legendary water pirate in the desert; the Gentleman Pirate broke his heart. Now Stede is searching for the love of his life and Ed is planning his retirement.
Unfortunately the remaining Cinco Gallos are still looking for Jim and the cults might be right about the biggest conspiracy theory of the last three decades...
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,931
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 175
- Kudos:
- 220
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 2,935
Bookmarked by upular
21 Apr 2023
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Freemanji: A Love Story by bad_idea_in_a_glass
Fandoms: Free Guy (2021), Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Movies)
15 Oct 2022
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Summary
Antwan is doing court-ordered community service when he comes across a busted game console. A spur-of-the-moment decision takes him on an adventure he never could've imagined and he realizes that not all NPCs are blue shirt-wearing dickheads that actively want to ruin his life.
Series
- Part 1 of Freemanji
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 53,300
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 714
- Kudos:
- 786
- Bookmarks:
- 242
- Hits:
- 12,716
Bookmarked by upular
17 Apr 2023
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Summary
Edward Teach is a fine dining chef at the top of his game, but he misses the old days when his food really made people feel something. Then he eats a strange ceviche from a mysterious new food truck, and his feelings are never the same again.
Bookmarked by upular
14 Apr 2023