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Summary
A sugar daddy AU that barely even qualifies as a sugar daddy AU, because these two can't do anything right.
- Words:
- 98,817
- Works:
- 9
- Bookmarks:
- 369
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
04 Jul 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
2
An absolute delight from start to finish
Splenda“He gives TED talks about medical device design. He’s harmless.”
“Better than harmless,” Al says, idly. “I’m ninety percent sure he’s a himbo.”
“He’s not buff enough to be a himbo,” Ed says. “And I think he’s smarter than he lets on.” He senses Winry opening her mouth. “Not in a bad way.”
“Ed,” she says, in the Patient Voice, “can you please explain to me why giving TED talks automatically disqualifies someone from being capable of murder?”
“I bet you have to sign a waiver,” Ed says, blinking up at her. “Aren’t they pretty protective of the brand?”
Winry scowls at him. “Fifty bucks says that his next TED talk will be on catfishing stupid sugar babies and then chloroforming them in the basement.”
“We internet-stalked his house, too,” Al says.
—
If there are handcuffs, he’s out the window after all—he’s kind of into that under normal circumstances, but it’s the sort of kink that you probably shouldn’t entertain in situations where the possibility of murder is still on the table next to the salt.
—
They’re never gonna know that you want them to stay unless you ask them to.”
—
“You are my angel,” he says.“If you ever say that to my face again,” Ed says, as Roy starts towards the door, grin going terrifically smug; “I’m gonna be the angel of death, sendin’ your dumb ass to the other side faster than you can blink.”
“Good point,” Roy says, in front of a foyer full of total strangers, as he reaches the door. “I’ll say it behind your back from now on.”
—
Flowers on his car didn’t exist in a vacuum: they were the product of a person’s work, and that person had a life, and Roy spent time thinking about it, whether or not their paths would ever cross.
A lot of people don’t. A lot of people just don’t give a shit.
Sometimes you have to—not give a shit, that is. Sometimes you have to batten down the hatches and build up the walls, because if you try to care about everybody, you won’t survive. Sometimes you have to put yourself first. Sometimes you have to condense your inner circle down to just the ones who matter most. Sometimes you don’t have any sympathy to spare. -
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Summary
"It’s a beautiful day at the Soltryce Academy—the sky is vibrant and the trees rustle with the gentlest of winds as Caleb begins his impromptu Transmutation lecture outside. From the building on the edge of the grounds he hears a muffled bell tolling for fifth period. Somewhere in the distance, a student begins to whistle.
At that moment, Caleb feels at peace.
At that moment, a Purple Worm bursts forth from the soil directly in front of him, and all of his plans for a pleasant afternoon are promptly dashed."
---
Caleb and Essek have finally settled down - more or less. While the beloved and somewhat eccentric Professor Widogast is busy inciting small student-scale riots and teaching tiny wizards morals, Essek spends his days lounging around the house, drinking wine and experimenting with the exotic concept of 'cooking his own meals'. They are pretty sure life is great - until two pre-teen assassins crash-land into the middle of the Soltryce Academy and demand the former Shadowhand be surrendered to their custody. What are the two internationally in/famous mages to do? The answer will shock absolutely no one. -
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Summary
Fíli lived his life by an old dwarven proverb: when a fool drops a treasure, a wise man picks it up (it sounded better in the original khuzdul).
Bella Baggins never quite fit in the Shire. Perhaps she was made for the mountains, instead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 85,323
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 36
- Comments:
- 1,792
- Kudos:
- 14,979
- Bookmarks:
- 6,431
- Hits:
- 402,385
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
25 Dec 2021
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The Fine Art of Small Talk by Margo_Kim
Fandoms: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
06 Feb 2013
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Summary
After Bilbo rescues Thorin, Thorin starts respecting him, but there's a big difference between respecting someone and liking them. What do you say to someone you have nothing in common with? If you are Thorin and Bilbo, you say all of the wrong things.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,304
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 2,533
- Bookmarks:
- 759
- Hits:
- 27,317
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
24 Dec 2021
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Distances Both Physical and Emotional by The Feels Whale (miscellea)
Fandom The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
03 May 2013
- Words:
- 32,832
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 996
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
21 Dec 2021
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You Got Me by drunkonwriting
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
26 Feb 2015
Tags
Summary
The Company shows their affection for Bilbo in accordance with dwarvish tradition. Bilbo... has no idea why everyone keeps giving him gifts.
(Dwarves give gifts of craft to start friendships or romance. Everybody lives AU, canon-compliant through the first movie.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,983
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 463
- Kudos:
- 20,926
- Bookmarks:
- 6,226
- Hits:
- 197,934
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
20 Dec 2021
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Summary
In which the Company are entirely too nosy about matters that are supposed to be a secret, and Bilbo learns that being concerned about propriety is overrated when you could be making friends instead.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,997
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 305
- Kudos:
- 18,615
- Bookmarks:
- 3,780
- Hits:
- 158,544
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
20 Dec 2021
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Smial Under the Mountain by King_City_Witch for Gaaladrieel
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types
12 Dec 2018
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Summary
Thorin builds Bilbo a place to stay in the mountain, hoping it might convince her to stay. Bilbo abandons the Shire, going home for good.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,975
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 13
- Kudos:
- 345
- Bookmarks:
- 81
- Hits:
- 5,499
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
19 Dec 2021
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Summary
After the desolation of the dragon, Bilbo loses his voice and Thorin loses his throne.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,182
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 346
- Kudos:
- 7,916
- Bookmarks:
- 2,214
- Hits:
- 115,530
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
19 Dec 2021
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Summary
Jiang Cheng just blows his breath out and rolls his eyes right back at Wei Wuxian. "Stop being an asshole," he says. "You're lucky this is being set up for you. Do you know how many people would die--literally die--to get the chance to be betrothed to Lan Wangji?"
"Betrothed." Wei Wuxian rolls the word around in his mouth. "It even sounds stupid."
Or, an arranged marriage canon-divergent fic where the war doesn't happen, the golden core loss doesn't happen, but Jiang Fengmian and Madame Yu still die, Jiang Cheng is the sect leader, and Lan Wangji is still called Hanguang-jun because, well, look at him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 37,792
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 486
- Kudos:
- 5,656
- Bookmarks:
- 1,610
- Hits:
- 70,206
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
10 Nov 2021
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Summary
Zagreus is going to leave, and this will be all he has to remember him by, won’t it? Bottles of nectar, the memory of blood, and the smell of pomegranates.
(Was this what it was like for Hades? Will it ruin him the way it ruined his master?)
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
26 Oct 2021
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Dull Comforts by Just_Another_Mystery
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
16 Sep 2021
Tags
Summary
Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,568
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 45
- Kudos:
- 1,980
- Bookmarks:
- 323
- Hits:
- 17,425
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
18 Sep 2021
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Path Out of China by TriviasFolly
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
16 Sep 2021
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Summary
A little drabble revolving around the idea of what might happen if instead of the Siege on the Burial Mounds, the Cultivation Sects arrived to find the Burial Mounds empty. No trace of Wei Wuxian or the Wens.
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
16 Sep 2021
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Little Red Ribbon by Rainewritesfanfics
Fandoms: 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
16 Aug 2021
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Summary
Jiang Cheng, Sect Leader Jiang Wanyin, master of the three poisons, is not lonely. He’s got a rebuilt clan to run and a nephew to raise.
He is fine.
And then, he finds something his brother left behind.
(AKA, Jiang Cheng tries really hard to hate his brother, but he mostly misses him.)
Series
- Part 1 of Ribbons That Tie
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,585
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 903
- Bookmarks:
- 201
- Hits:
- 5,831
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
12 Sep 2021
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omegaverse murder gremlins by ShippersList
Fandom 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
17 Mar 2024
Summary
A mostly dramaverse canon divergence from the Cloud Recesses study arc forward. Standard omegaverse dub con warnings apply, see each fic for more detailed warnings. Let me know if something that needs to be tagged hasn't been tagged.
- Words:
- 212,265
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 464
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
04 Sep 2021
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Unavoidable by diamondbruise
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
31 May 2021
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Summary
Lan Wangji, generally speaking, did not make note of people. Of course there were exceptions, once faced with special kindness or distaste, but most often others left an imprint so light that it would fade from his mind in only a few days, if not minutes.
He didn’t feel right in his skin for the rest of the day after meeting Wei Wuxian.
or, lwj cannot remember wwx
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,517
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 722
- Kudos:
- 9,417
- Bookmarks:
- 2,793
- Hits:
- 83,538
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
20 Aug 2021
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And I Will Call You Home by Spodumene
Fandoms: 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV)
03 Jan 2021
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Summary
Wei Wuxian reunites with Lan Wangji after a year of travelling, pleased to be a part of Lan Wangji's life again, but he refuses to examine and test the borders of their relationship. When Lan Wangji invites him to investigate a mysterious string of suicides together, Wei Wuxian happily accepts, but the case is not what it seems, and Wei Wuxian will be forced to face the feelings he's been denying for a very long time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,794
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 605
- Kudos:
- 4,390
- Bookmarks:
- 1,636
- Hits:
- 65,409
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
10 Aug 2021
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a token of devotion by Cross_d_a
Fandoms: 镇魂 | Guardian - priest, 镇魂 | Guardian (TV 2018)
26 Nov 2020
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Summary
Ten thousand years in the distant past, Zhao Yunlan unknowingly begins to court a young Shen Wei.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,629
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 53
- Kudos:
- 864
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 7,595
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
07 Aug 2021
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There's a Body Buried at the Cross-Roads by onewithroses for missingsun
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
07 Mar 2013
Tags
Summary
There's a body buried at the Cross-Roads. His name is Stiles.
Hoodoo Cross-Roads Demon!AU
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
27 Jul 2021
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Tags
Summary
Three months ago, Lan Xichen introduced Wei Wuxian by bringing him to Lan Wangji’s office and saying, “Wangji, this is our new teen librarian. I’m sure you’ll be happy to show him around since you’ll be working closely together.” Lan Wangji did not and does not feel that this was in any way an adequate introduction to Wei Wuxian.
Featuring: critical librarianship, rabbit-themed office supplies, and an elderly cat named Bunny.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,854
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 409
- Kudos:
- 1,904
- Bookmarks:
- 569
- Hits:
- 15,001
Bookmarked by tiny_coyote
27 Jul 2021