spiderglass
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“It’s like being chained to a comet,” the man explains, as Dean leans his elbows on the edge of the table and watches the man devour what Dean would call, at best, a third-rate cheeseburger.
The man is describing how it feels to be the one in charge of the entire country, responsible for the safety and wellbeing of the free world.
Or,
Dean is a custodian at a fast food restaurant, and Castiel is President of the United States.
[Formerly titled "I've Got a Feeling"]
Series
- Part 1 of Five O'Clock World
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At the breakfast table, Jack enthuses about the special limited edition Christmas version of that cookie cereal he always eats—which, as far as Dean can tell, is the exact same as the regular version, only with red and green sprinkles substituting the usual brown specks that represent chocolate chips, and it costs a few cents extra.
Jack’s head pops up as he looks Dean right in the eye and says, blithely, mouth full of cereal, “It’s Christmas Eve.”
Dean frowns. “No it ain’t.”
Sam shoots Dean a look of pure pity. “Yeah, Dean, it is.”
Cas just squints.
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It almost feels like, if Dean went to sleep right now, he could get it back. Like he would slip right back into the dream, and it would pick up where it left off. But Dean doesn’t even want to, now that he can see that world for what it is: a cheap hallucination, poking at all his weaknesses, going right for the soft underbelly Dean never shows.
All that work. All that work Dean had done over the past few weeks, trying to numb himself and act like he’d forgotten about it. And now it feels like the Empty took Cas all of five minutes ago, all over again.
Or,
A post-15x19, forty one year-old Dean gets a taste of what twenty seven year-old Dean went through in 2x20, “What Is and What Should Never Be,” and sees how the shape of his own happiness has changed. Then life goes on, same as it ever was—except for the dreams he starts having at all hours of the day, and a familiar voice on the phone that's starting to sound a little too real.
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- 212,142
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Cass Novak was really only looking for a hookup – one night to let the whole world go away, all of his responsibilities and the ghosts of a bitter past that he’s done everything he can to move beyond. When he wakes up with a strait-laced but very cute businessman named Dean Smith, he’s ready to declare success and walk away.
Except that Dean keeps calling him. And Cass isn’t interested in buttoned-down yuppies in suits who’ve never experienced one real moment of pain in their lives…right?
Except that maybe he is. And maybe Cass is somehow falling in love for the first time since his soulmate died five years ago. Which he could handle – probably….
Except that he’s also beginning to have a strange series of nightmares and flashbacks to a whole separate life he never lived, in an apocalyptic hellscape with a version of Dean he barely recognizes. And once he starts to notice, the whole world begins to seem…just a little off.
Cass is the happiest he’s ever been, and he’s also losing his mind. It’s a very weird year.
Bookmarked by spiderglass
15 Jan 2024
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Cas likes it when the sun gets low, turns the sky pink. He’ll spend hours out there, sitting and watching as the wind blows spirits into the tall grass and the clouds turn yellow and purple and then blue, and then when nighttime comes, Cas tilts his head back and looks at the stars.
Bookmarked by spiderglass
01 Jun 2021
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can't a guy just have a completely normal sex dream in peace without his formerly-dead best friend walking in?
Bookmarked by spiderglass
19 Aug 2021
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Castiel slips from his chair to kneel at Dean’s feet. He takes Dean’s hands in his, and there on the floor holding something with devotion, he understands Communion. He understands Eucharist. He understands believing in someone so deeply that to shelter a piece of them within yourself is an act of untempered faith, love and prayer and deep-wide trust.
*
Cas comes back. Dean can’t stop touching him.
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- English
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by spiderglass
04 Jul 2021
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Getting used to Heaven is something of a marvel. It ain't perfect, and Dean thinks he'd hate it if it was, which is probably why it isn't.
~~~
"You don't understand," Dean whispers, exhaling shakily. "I know you don't, because even I don't. The instant you were gone, I wanted you back. Cas, I wanted you back. I wanted—I wanted—"
Cas stares at him, searching his face. After a moment, his own face falls slack, eyes widening just so. "Oh," he breathes out.
Dean wants to be furious that Cas has figured it out before he has—whatever it is—but he's not even that surprised. Cas knows him too well, always has, even more than Dean knows himself. He's been kicking Dean in the goddamn teeth with how deeply he understands him, even about the things Dean doesn't, ever since they first met. You don't think you deserve to be saved, that's what Cas had said. All bundled up in impossibilities and power, this being that looked at Dean Winchester and knew every single inch of him, as if he had a right to each part.
"What?" Dean grits out.
"I love you, too."
- Language:
- English
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- 62,240
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by spiderglass
02 Mar 2021