11 Works by ratherthepoint
Listing Works
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Ouch, My Spleen! (And Other Ways to Seduce Your Rescuer) by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Feb 2023
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When Lucius off-handedly mentions hearing about a crisis management training event looking for volunteers to be fake-rescued by firefighters, Stede doesn’t think long before saying yes. He never knows quite what to do with himself on weekends when he doesn’t have the kids - it’ll be a nice change from his normal aimless cleaning and Netflix binging. Plus, what an excellent chance to flex his acting muscles!
Or, Stede walks into a firefighter training exercise straight and leaves... not that.
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If you like drinking Old Fashioneds and getting caught in bad decisions by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
22 Sep 2022
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It takes one Old Fashioned for Ed to talk to Mary.
Two, for him to accept the napkin with her careful handwriting on it.
Three, before he feels like he can even BEGIN to work through everything she just told him.
It’s around the time that he orders his fourth drink that he starts to think “Is it really such a bad idea?”
And he’s only a few sips into that one when he decides that no, it isn’t.
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After update 422 I decided that Ed should get a little drunk and make bad decisions to find Stede, as a treat (for me. Not for Ed, he's regretting everything) -
Ed & Stede's "Get-Along" Kidnapping by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
10 Sep 2022
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“Don’t be such a spoilsport! I’m just going to saw myself free, and then I’ll do you, and we’ll come up with a distraction - some sort of fuckery, I’m rather good at them now - something to make them look the other way, and we’ll slip over to the side into a dinghy and row away.” It’s not a perfect plan, but Stede thinks it’s rather good given how little time he’s had to come up with it.
“That’s the stupidest fucking plan I’ve ever heard,” Ed says flatly. “You’re just gonna row away? Middle of the ocean, nothing to see for miles, and you think they’re not gonna notice you rowing away?”
Stede stops sawing at his bindings to snap, “Then you come up with a plan!”
- Or, tfw you get taken hostage but the ex you're still in love with is tied next to you and he wants to talk about your feelings
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Someday you'll blow us all away by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
21 Sep 2021
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“Well, color me surprised. You’re ready for the baby Avengers initiative?” Tony asks.
“Ok, well, we’re definitely not calling it that,” Peter says, and Tony laughs.
“If you’re taking control, you can change the name. But last I heard, you were fully anti-baby, so what gives?”
“Oh geez, don’t say it like that,” Peter groans. “Jameson will somehow hear, and then he’ll be all ‘Spider-man hates babies!’ on top of his other bullshit.”
“It would fit particularly well with his theory that you’re a cannibalistic spider-alien,” Tony agrees.
---- Between preparing for college and protecting a New York still recovering a year after the Blip, Peter has his hands full. But maybe training the next generation of superheroes will make it easier to let things go? (They're definitely changing the name, though)
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It's another post-campaign Professor Widogast shenanigans fic, but this time in the format of Caleb's Rate My Professor page because I saw a joke that I couldn't get out of my head
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sister, friend, and superhero by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Black Widow (Movie 2020)
19 Jul 2021
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Being free means that when Yelena finds herself laying on the top of a roof, tracking a target through the crosshairs of her gun, it’s because she’s chosen to do so. Not because someone has told her.
And right now, she has chosen Clint Barton
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Yelena wants revenge. Clint makes a different call, as he is wont to do. Feelings are had, despite everyone's best efforts.
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sledding for superheroes by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
27 Apr 2021
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More sleds shot down the hill past them. Tony caught a glimpse of Cooper Barton holding tightly to Nathanial, Shuri and Cassie Lang sharing a toboggan, and Lila Barton on her own, ahead of the others and cackling like a maniac. Wanda’s boys seemed to have drawn the short straw for the slowest sled, because they were left behind as the others reached a ramp of snow clearly designed to stop their momentum. The sleds flew halfway up the ramp before sliding back down, tossing their riders into the snow as well.
As Tony approached, Peter whispered something into Morgan’s ear, and she looked up brightly. “Hi, Daddy!”
“Hey, Morguna. What are you up to?”
“We’re sledding!” Morgan’s expression was full of innocence. Tony didn’t buy it for a second.
- or, the kids go sledding. All of them.
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CPR for Spiders by ratherthepoint
Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
06 Apr 2021
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Summary
Somehow, Peter and Bucky get paired together. Everyone else gets started, while Peter stares at the fake body in front of him as everything he’s ever learned about CPR suddenly disappears from his mind.
He pats the cheek of the mannequin. “We should name him. Jerry?” Bucky shrugs, and Peter says, “Hi, Jerry.”
“Ok, I’ve got this,” Bucky says with what Peter thinks is an unearned amount of confidence. “I’ll do compressions, you do breaths.”
“Are… are you sure? You know what you’re doing? Because I don’t think CPR was even invented when you were born.”
Bucky glares at him. “So what? I’ve seen the Office.”
——— or, Peter gets roped into CPR training for Dummy Superheroes, and everyone learns at least some first aid. Probably.
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When they would tell the story later, Beau would always insist that the moral was that using magic to be a dick purely out of spite meant you deserved to be killed. If Veth felt like causing a little chaos, she would argue that Beau was trivializing the matter, and they would’ve killed Ikithon eventually anyway even if he hadn’t sent those messages that day, and anyways Beau would totally be a dick with magic if she had it so it wasn’t like she was one to talk. Beau would get riled up and accuse her of defending Ikithon, and inevitably one of them would be threatening the other with the gun, so suffice to say they were both banned from telling the story.
The fact was, though, that Ikithon had decided to send a message on that day, and it had been the straw that finally broke the burned, exhausted, and guilty-ridden Moorbounder’s back (“you’re losing the metaphor there, Caddy”), and it had ended with a certain archmage dead. But that was an oversimplification, of course. There was quite a bit more to the story.
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Many times, as Jester had sent messages full of filler words and swearing to anyone and everyone, the Mighty Nein had joked about the terrible power the Traveler had given her with this spell. They had laughed as Essek or Allura had groggily responded to a late-night invasive question with confusion and exasperation. Sure, the ominous messages to Beau’s father were a little much, but he deserved it, didn’t he? For the Mighty Nein, Sending had always been funny, a tension breaker, a relief in their stressful days.
No one was laughing anymore.
-OR, Trent Ikithon sends many messages and no one is happy about it
Series
- Part 2 of right messages, wrong times
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Summary
Astrid and Eadwulf knew the risk they were taking when they warned the Mighty Nein to run. They did it anyways. And now, they face the consequences.
Luckily, Jester has 25 words of nonsense to send and a habit of checking in on people at just the right time.
Series
- Part 1 of right messages, wrong times