psychobarfly
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Need a car? Date my brother. My brother is a real angel but needs a helping hand in the social/romance department, so I’m trying to help him find a good guy. Ages 35-50, employed, good looking, emotionally stable. After an entrance interview, if you successfully date my brother for a set amount of time and pull him out of his shell, I will give you my garage kept 1933 Bentley. Serious inquiries only. Contact [email protected]
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- English
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Bookmarked by psychobarfly
10 Feb 2026
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Anthony Crowley has been struggling in the romance department. His past is a long string of one-night stands and relationships that fizzle out quickly. But it's okay, because he also has his best friends and his preschool-age 'nephew', who are all (and the best) family he ever thought he needed.
Aziraphale Fell has a careful history of first dates who don't call back because, as a preschool teacher, his vocabulary is full of words like 'potty' and 'drat'. But it's okay, because he loves his job teaching preschool, and sometimes the vocabulary just lingers even when you're on the pull.
Crowley's best friends have a plan. Well, an idea. Because who doesn't love playing matchmaker?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 69,106
- Chapters:
- 22/22
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- 1
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Bookmarked by psychobarfly
26 Aug 2025
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“So, let me get this straight,” Crowley said, dragging that r a little for best effect. “Your librarian asks for an escort, and the first person you think of is me?”
When tabloid reporter Anthony Crowley gets roped into posing as the loving partner of their intern’s fussy librarian friend for an infernal wedding in the country, he has an inkling that he won’t come out of that little spot of bother unscathed. There is more to Aziraphale than meets the eye, and soon Crowley will discover that relationships are not for the faint of heart.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 403,339
- Chapters:
- 42/42
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- 9
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- 4,547
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Bookmarked by psychobarfly
27 Jun 2025
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In which a lonely bookshop owner, and a lonely sleep paralysis demon fall in love, and try to make it work, in the brief snatches of time they can be together.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,766
- Chapters:
- 6/6
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- 10
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- 1,419
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- 4,103
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- 41,776
Bookmarked by psychobarfly
25 Jun 2025
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a perfectly willing sacrifice by blackeyedblonde
Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)
23 Feb 2021
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Later that night, when neither he nor Aziraphale are sleeping in the advisor’s small hut, but rather getting quickly and efficiently smashed on some stripe of primitive alcohol so potent he’s pretty sure they could breathe fire with it, Crowley gets up the courage to ask what, exactly, the mountain spirit does to the sacrificial virgin peacemakers.
“He, uh—well. You know. It’s...rather quite unsavory to talk about, dear. I’d rather not.”
“Thisss is going to be me up there tomorrow, you bloody nit,” Crowley slurs, slamming his cup down on the table. “I need to know before I’m in the thick of it, don’t I?”
Aziraphale looks visibly flustered, but attempts to press on. “The ritual entails….a special cleansing of your womb prior to the mountain spirit’s arrival. I’ll have to perform—hic!—the proper rites and blessings, you see. It’s something of a tedious process, all in all.”
“I beg your fucking pardon!” Crowley half-shouts, suddenly a touch more sober than he was mere moments ago. “MY WOMB?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,998
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 2
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- 62
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- 836
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- 125
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- 13,121
Bookmarked by psychobarfly
06 Jun 2025