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"She wants - well. She is not exactly sure what she wants. Those two words alone feel like a kind of admission, a humiliation of sorts - she wants she wants she wants. She wants her face on a wanted poster; she wants someone to coil at the foot of her bed like a vine and practise conversational French with her. She wants someone who will listen to her speak French and not say a single word in return. She wants a Playboy bunny; she wants someone that will look at her like a rabbit caught in headlights. She wants to ace her French exam, ‘cause Kendall bombed his. She wants something that is all hers."
OR: When Shiv Roy touches a girl for the first time, she is 17.
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It’s like this: JJ has been gay for approximately three weeks and he’s already making it everyone else’s problem. On an unrelated note, Kie is beginning to think there is something fundamentally wrong with her.
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“He’s not really sure why he got into this position, where both Pope and Kie have adopted him as their chief confidant and resident relationship guru, but he does know how; he kept inviting it, casually dropping faux-innocuous questions into unrelated conversions, frequently making invasive and borderline crude enquiries about exactly what was going on between them. He thinks the whole time he was waiting for one of them to tell him to fuck off. Neither of them ever did. He has come to realise they know even less about their relationship than he does.”
Over the course of a summer on the Outer Banks, JJ Maybank almost finds out what gay people are, except not really.
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The instant she’s gone, Nate turns to the rest of the group.
NATE
OK, girls, who wants to do drugs?This was assembled by taking a transcript of Derry Girls Season 2, Episode 4 ‘The Curse’, arranging it to something approximating screenplay format, and adding the characters from Gossip Girl, the CW’s most insightful class commentary, making some dialogue changes along the way. You don’t have to watch the original episode of Derry Girls to enjoy this (if enjoy is the right word), but you should, because it’s delightful.
