mangledangle



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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

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    18 Feb 2026

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    Shane heads straight to his stall, starts tugging his jersey over his head, and without any preamble, turns to Ostrovsky and says, “Rook, what was the one thing I told you not to do tonight?”

    Guiltily, Ostrovsky lisps, “Get into shit with Rozanov and Marleau.”

    Shane sighs, all put-upon weariness. “And what was the literal first thing you did?”

    Or: Five fights Shane Hollander (tries to) stop on the ice, and the one that he starts.

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    16 Feb 2026

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    Someone’s posted a shaky video from the stands, just behind the whole altercation. It’s close enough to catch the snarl on Rozanov’s face as he charges up the steps. He’s so pretty, Shane thinks faintly. The video starts too late to show what set him off, but it catches the tail end of what the man is yelling, the things he's saying about Shane, before pivoting to calling Rozanov a cunt and bitch and a pussy instead.

    Rozanov drops his gloves for Shane. He wishes he could just be grateful, but it feels a little bit like the end of the world.

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    16 Feb 2026

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    “Oh my god,” the intruder says, voice coming faster and higher-pitched. “Shane, what the fuck? Oh my god.”

    “Eeleeyah, come to my cottage,” Ilya mocks, voice muffled by Shane’s skin. “Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house instead. Is so private. No one will know…we will be completely alone. Together.”

    “Oh my god, is that Ilya Rozanov?” the intruder yelps like he's about to start hyperventilating. “Why is Ilya Rozanov half-naked in our kitchen, Shane?”

    “Okay, I know how this looks,” Shane tells Ilya, “But I mean, technically, we are still alone. Together.”

    or,

    At the cottage, Shane and Ilya meet eighteen year old Shane Hollander. This is really only a surprise for one of them. Everyone handles it as well as can be expected.

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    06 Feb 2026

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    Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky.

    Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.

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    06 Feb 2026