gotmeows
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Summary
Dazai Osamu is foolishly, terminally, inadvertently in love with Nakahara Chuuya.
At eighteen, it teaches him a thing or two. -
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Summary
There was a time where Chuuya had nothing. No memories, no people, he couldn’t even say with certainty he had a soul. Back then, something in him burned. It yearned for air, it yearned for fuel, it yearned and yearned and yearned. He wanted someone to trust. He wanted someone to love.
He learns better than to expect it.
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Nowadays, Chuuya loves high places.
Beyond love, beyond life, beyond need, Chuuya has grown to seek freedom.
Dazai leads him home.
Series
- Part 5 of bsd is my suffering sandbox
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Chuuya tells him one night after a drink too many that he feels like he’s stuck on an endlessly looping rollercoaster. That the ride up doesn’t feel so daunting until it drops and sends him plummeting back down.
For a long time, Dazai assumes the highs must be better. Not good, necessarily, but better—anything has to be better than the aching stasis he lives in, an endless gray of nothingness that presses against his ribs and makes it hard to breathe. Chuuya’s mania sounds like freedom; to feel energized and alive, to wake up with a purpose—however unhinged—seemed like a fair trade for a little chaos and the inevitable crash. He used to watch Chuuya in those bright, impossible weeks and feel a kind of envy he couldn’t name. Chuuya would laugh too loud, talk too fast, waste so much energy on the mundane—and Dazai would think, God, I’d kill to feel like that.
He doesn’t anymore.
or ; how dazai learns that the highs aren't any easier
Bookmarked by gotmeows
11 Jan 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
bipolar chuuya 😭😭😭😭😭😭😢😢😢 my sweetheart my queen you’re just like me
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Light burned into Zanka's eyes as he came to, a familiar curve lifting his chin upwards as his brain caught up to the situation at hand. A figure loomed above him, shoving Lovely against his throat and bumping his head into the wall behind him. Zanka tried to bring his hands up to defend himself, sighing in frustration as he realized they were restrained tightly above his head with a harsh rope. That wasn't the only thing restrained, a dull ache in his jaw brought attention to the bit in his mouth. Dry drool crusted on his chin was replaced with fresh as Zanka tried to speak around it. His eyes focused more, a boxy cage surrounded his jaw which held the gag in place. A muzzle? Seriously? he thought, trying to mumble out some choice words to his captor, but it came out incomprehensible.
"Oh Zankaaa," a sing songy voice called out from the figure, his wide grin unmistakable even through the thick haze in Zanka's head. Jabber squatted in front of him so that they were eye level. He pressed Lovely harder against his neck, giggling at the choked up sound Zanka made.
"About time you got up, I was getting bored! Messin' with you in your sleep is fun and all, but nothing compares to this."
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i know none of this will matter in the long run by aggityy
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
11 Dec 2025
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After the events of Stormbringer, Chuuya is in recovery. Dazai decides this would be the perfect time to not only keep pestering him, but to actually take care of him.