badjokes
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The Lowell Offering, Or: How the Mill Girls Created 1992's Power Couple of the Year by badjokes
Fandoms: Check Please! (Webcomic)
01 Sep 2017
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Summary
Somewhere in Massachusetts, a nervous boy will click on a YouTube video entitled "Bad Bob's Best Bouts Vol. 4: 1987, Boston". He'll watch, wide-eyed, as Robert Zimmermann and a man in a Bruins sweater square off and shake out of their gloves, circling each other like dogs.
"Good lord," the boy will whisper as a blurry video of two large hockey players rolling around on the ice plays on his laptop. He'll watch as the two of them leave smears of blood in their wake, listen as commentators crow about penalty minutes and well-deserved nicknames. He'll tab back to the Wikipedia page of the man his teammates had been talking about, eyes widening as he reads.
And then he gets to the personal life section.
But all of that... The boy, the computer, the teammates astounded at the boy's ignorance... All of that comes later. Twenty-seven years later.
For now it's 1987, and a young actress has just gone to see a hockey game.
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After everything goes south, after the draft, after the hospital and rehab and hiding in his parents’ house wishing he were just fucking dead… After all that. After coaching pewee and realizing that he wants, no, needs to be playing hockey again…
Jack looks at his options.
//THIS BITCH?!?!? ABANDONED.//
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It's Shitty's freshman year of college. New town, new school. Everything's coming up roses. Now if only he can keep his fuckin' mouth shut...
Enter one tall, pale, Canadian roommate who doesn't seem to mind that Shitty literally cannot shut up. Who, in fact, seems to enjoy when he talks. Who, for some reason, seems to relate to Shitty's constant apologizing for being loud and annoying.
It's honestly enough to give a guy a complex.
(As if he didn't already have one.)
//THIS BITCH?!?!? ABANDONED.//
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Jack just wanted to buy a nice gift for his mother. Something small and simple. But now he's got several hundred dollars worth of high-end bath products in his basket and is being assisted by the cutest salesperson this side of the Mason-Dixon line.
Jack's more than happy to learn about leave-in moisturizers and exfoliating facial scrubs if it means this guy will keep talking to him. Hell. He's even happy to keep loading up on bubble bars and bath bombs.
It's too bad he only has a shower.