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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco came to, naked, sprawled across the pentagram on the worn floorboards of the inn’s rented room. He lifted his head. His body had smeared the chalk and the salt on re-entry.

    His tailbone hurt.

    His head hurt.

    He was thirsty.

    Draco slowly pushed up to sitting. His wand was in his hand. His whole spine hurt. Something grazed his leg—his head whipped around, making the headache flare. A mouse? A rat? This room was disgusting.

    No—

    Hold on—

    Draco twisted to look behind him.

    F**K.

    He had a tail.

    Draco Malfoy—now an Unspeakable assigned to the Death Room—went to Hell and came back with a tail. Hermione Granger wants to help. Theo Nott doesn’t.

    BEEN TO HELL AND BACK, I CAN SHOW YOU VOUCHERS is inspired by the bureaucratic implications of the titular Lil Wayne bar and me reading three books about Cardan Greenbriar because I thought there would be tail smut.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,758
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    998
    Kudos:
    583
    Bookmarks:
    121
    Hits:
    13,435

    22 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    An accident with a time turner in third year sends Hermione back to 1945 as a ward of the Black family. Sirius Black is horrified to learn that his once great house is in shambles. He thinks his new ward just might be the key to restoring it. She prompts him to take a good, hard look at all of his heirs and make decisions that he never would have considered before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    144,584
    Chapters:
    24/24
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    1,821
    Kudos:
    1,322
    Bookmarks:
    378
    Hits:
    33,062

    16 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 23

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    Following the war, Draco is sent to live in the muggle world in a probation programme. His wand is snapped, his magic is gone and he has to learn to love all things non-magical if he's ever going to earn his life back. Not all is as it seems though when his Liaison Officer, Hermione Granger, is revealed to be more entwined in his fate than he ever could have guessed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,309
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3,616

    26 Jun 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    While celebrating at Adrian's rehearsal dinner, Cassius convinces Marcus to try and find his soulmate with a spell he found in Witch Weekly. They weren't expecting Hermione Granger to appear out of thin air — or for the soulmate spell to get tangled up with the wedding vows that Adrian was practicing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,601
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    747
    Kudos:
    787
    Bookmarks:
    226
    Hits:
    18,178

    23 Jun 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.

    After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.

    Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    172,892
    Chapters:
    26/26
    Comments:
    5,679
    Kudos:
    3,656
    Bookmarks:
    1,167
    Hits:
    166,329

    18 May 2025