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1. Public Bookmark 41

   you don't understand, I'm my worst enemy by windexbottle

   Fandoms: State SMP | ish's Civilization Series  

   • General Audiences
   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Gen, M/M
   • Complete Work

   18 Sep 2025

   Tags

   • Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
   • Fluixon/Saparata (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Fluixon & Saparata (Video Blogging RPF)
   • (up to your interpretation tbh)
   • Fluixon & Thomas5200 (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Saparata & Turntapp (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Fluixon (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Saparata (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Thomas5200 (Video Blogging RPF)
   • The Conspiracy Ensemble (State SMP)
   • Minor Characters
   • Cynikka (Video Blogging RPF)
   • 5pyder (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Turntapp (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Jophiel_ (Video Blogging RPF)
   • Character Study
   • Relationship Study
   • Doomed Relationship
   • Angst
   • State SMP Season 2.5
   • Character Death
   • Feelings Realization
   • Implied/Referenced Suicide
   • Regret
   • The Author Regrets Nothing
   • Blood and Injury
   • Unresolved Tension
   • POV switch
   • Morally Ambiguous Character
   • Platonic Soulmates
   • Romantic Soulmates
   • Fluixon-centric

   Summary

   If it wasn’t real, then why does it still haunt me like it was?

   or; fluixon learns what it's like to love and lose (in the wrong order).

   Series

   • Part 1 of the state you find me in.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   12,491

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   23

   Kudos:

   259

   Bookmarks:

   41

   Hits:

   1,970

   Bookmarked by Yellow_primrose

   02 Oct 2025