Whimsical_Toad



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    “So do you have a name?”

    “Yeah.” The man who had saved his life less than an hour ago – the white-haired, absurdly buff, weirdly sexy man Jaskier might have called taciturn if he was feeling charitable and surly if he was feeling less so – dug into his second burger.

    Jaskier waited. “Are… you going to tell me what it is?”

    The man paused mid-bite, and looked at him reproachfully as if to say how dare you. How dare you interrupt me. Can’t you see I’m enjoying my cheeseburger. Can’t you see this cheeseburger is the most important thing in my life right at the moment. He swallowed, and said, “Geralt.”

    It turns out almost getting eaten by a werewolf can make your whole life go careening off in a new, terrifying, wondrous, artistically flourishing direction. Who knew?

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    15 Feb 2026

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    - Marlow Has Added Jane to the Conversation -

    Marlow: Please don't tell Roz

    Jane: O.O

     

    - Hayden Has Added Lily to the Conversation -

    Lily: What the fuck is this?

    Hayden: Oh-

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    05 Feb 2026

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    “You peeled the tangerine,” he babbles a bit stupidly, Ilya frowns at him “For me. You peeled it.”

    I hate peeling them. Shane wants to say. It makes my hands sticky and I hate that feeling and I can't ever take the peel off cleanly and that drives me mad. And you peeled them for me without me having to ask. He pops a piece into his mouth and realizes that the seeds have been carefully squeezed out, he feels his eyes well up with even more tears. I never even told you about this, I never told anyone about this. And somehow you knew.

    “Well yes,” Ilya tells him, a confused smile on his face “You hate peeling them.”

    ---

    Alternative title: Love is stored in the citrus fruit.

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    05 Feb 2026

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    Shane picks up on the third ring.

    “What?”

    Ilya closes his eyes, humiliation twisting his gut. Still, though, it’s nice to hear his voice. His shoulders sag a little. “Hollander?”

    “I don’t–” Shane sighs, long and heavy. “Why are you calling?”

    Why is he calling? Ilya couldn’t answer. Not in any way that makes sense, anyway.

    Voice wobbling, Ilya says, “I am sorry.” He inhales, breath hitching horribly. “Was mistake.”

    On the other line, Shane goes quiet. Then, shuffling around, he says, “What’s going on, Rozanov?”

    Or: Ilya calls Shane in the middle of the night, and against his better judgment, Shane comes to find him.

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    24 Jan 2026

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    In which Ilya comes back to room fourteen ten.

     

    Canon divergent from, and following directly after, s01e01 when Ilya leaves Shane's hotel room. Contains Ilya being a provocative dick, Shane being unable to resist rising (ha) to it, too much discussion of chicken, some David Attenborough, Shane negotiating his feelings and interpersonal relationships with all his classic suavity and skill, and as much sex as two nineteen year old professional athletes can fit into one evening.

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    20 Jan 2026