Un_Ironically
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Summary
The Hazbin Hotel opens with bad press and only one reluctant guest.
But then Alastor arrives—uninvited, unapologetic, and unexpectedly carrying a six-month-old baby.
Calliope is his daughter. He insists on it and hell isn’t equipped to argue.
As Charlie pushes for redemption and Heaven starts watching, the most dangerous demon in Hell proves terrifyingly good at childcare.
Redemption was never Alastor’s plan.
Raising Hell is. -
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Summary
Alastor tightened the shock collar around Vincent's pale throat with sure hands.
"The rules are simple, you see," he began, taking his time with the explanation, "If you touch me, you get shocked." He slid two fingers between the ribbed collar and Vincent's skin, testing the tightness. The fabric was close enough to strain his breathing just slightly, rubbing against his Adam's apple. "If you talk, you get shocked. If you do anything out of what I deem acceptable, you get shocked."
Two-toned eyes glistened in the intimate holding of eye contact.
Dark fingers ran along a sharp, clean-shaven jaw until he lifted Vincent's chin. They stared at each other for a breath of a moment.
"Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir," Vincent replied in a quiet confession. Desperation bleeding into his words.
Or
Alastor rides Vincent while controlling his shock collar (inspired by Silentzound_'s art <3)
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Summary
Alastor wins a bet against Vox, now his rival must stop pestering him for two weeks. It should be a pleasant break! So why does he miss the idiot?
Started before the release of Season 1
- Language:
- English
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- 30/?
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Bookmarked by Un_Ironically
31 Dec 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
“You expect me to shower here, in your house?”
“Well no shit, it’s not like I’ll be in there with you and it’s not like I’ve got cameras-” he paused mid sentence, staring into the distance as if trying to solve some complex maths equation. Vox stepped into the bathroom and Alastor heard clinking and clattering until he stepped back out, a bundle of small cameras in hand, “It’s not like I’ve got cameras in there to watch you.”
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“It’s because you were so tall it makes me seem short and I don’t like that. ”His expression turned awfully cocky. “Jealous?”
“You bet your lanky ass I’m jealous!” he bawled, forcing a laugh from his friend, “Six foot god damn three.”
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Vox’s knee shifted so that it would brush against Alastor’s; Alastor nudged him harshly away. Vox retracted his knee. Thirty seconds later, Alastor moved his knee to rest against Vox’s. -
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Summary
When Alastor had arranged this visit, he’d been ready for a fairly large amount of things, from a place that was closer to being a toxic quarantine zone, to sexist comments about Omegas that he would not overlook, nor forget. All reasons for him to leave through the door not minutes after walking inside the apartment.
For hell’s sake, he was even ready to find the perfect place, finally, and put a satisfactory stop to his weeks-long search for a decent place he could live at for the upcoming months.
He was not, however, ready to find a little six-or-so year old kid running around the living room chasing after a black cat, nor to have to look down to meet his possible roommate’s eyes. And if Rosie’s gasp was anything to go by, neither was she.
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The five times Alastor found himself not knowing what to expect, and one time he perfectly knew. -
- Words:
- 70,315
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- 2
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- 9
Bookmarked by Un_Ironically
17 Feb 2026
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Bookmarker's Notes
No good decisions were made at any point of this entire chain of events, at all, starting from his deal. At least that's over and done with, aaand Alastor's back to not even being able to regret his decisions. "Sometimes, things just happen" is great comfort except when you deliberately and consciously caused those things to happen, on purpose.