StaciTheDork



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    “You are still you, yes?” Ilya repeated. “You are still slow hockey player with pretty freckles, yes?” It was a weak attempt at a joke, so Ilya shook it away and tried again. “You are still Shane, same person, same brain, yes?”

    Shane blinked up at him, thinking. Then, nodding slowly. “Mostly. Yeah. I don’t know about a name or anything yet, but—. Yeah. I’m still me.”

    “Then it does not matter.”
    ________

    A trans Shane Hollander AU

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    03 Mar 2026

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    01 Mar 2026

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    Ilya starts calling Shane boring regularly after that, not cruelly but persistently, the way you press a bruise you know is there just to confirm it still hurts. Shane's cereal is boring, Shane's training schedule is boring, Shane's shoes lined up by the door are boring, and Shane responds with variations of "fuck off" and "you're an asshole" that become increasingly creative and occasionally surprising. They do not talk about anything that matters. They talk about groceries and whose turn it is to take out the trash and whether Ilya's music is too loud at midnight, which it is.

    On the ice, Shane is someone else entirely. Ilya watches him from the upper stands every morning with vending machine coffee going cold in his hand and doesn't tell anyone.

    Or: Shane asked Ilya once how you know when it's the right person. Ilya described Shane to him, and Shane didn't recognise himself.

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    26 Feb 2026

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    Shane has always had a complicated relationship with his own body.

    It’s his biggest tool to success as a hockey player. He wouldn’t be where he is without the trust and care he puts into this own body. So he takes care of it as much as he can. He exercises regularly to keep himself fit and strong, fuels it with the best food and nutrients he can, does his best to listen to the cues his body gives him to rest. It’s a careful balancing act as a professional athlete, stretching his body to its limits while also caring for it deeply.

    Still, he can’t deny that he feels let down by it often.

    Some days it feels very unfair.

    And then some days something even worse happens and that already strained relationship he has with his own body gets even worse.

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    21 Feb 2026

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    After Shane is diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes following a terrifying on-ice collapse, he and Ilya struggle with the aftermath — not just medically, but emotionally. Fear turns into control. Pride turns into distance. And love becomes something that feels dangerously unpredictable.

    This is the story of what happens after the diagnosis — and whether they can learn to face uncertainty together instead of apart.

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    Chapters:
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    20 Feb 2026