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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
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- 7,371
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- 29,786
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Bookmarked by Sariska
14 Feb 2026
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“There once was a boy who made all the wrong choices.”
Voldemort is dead… at least that’s what everyone thinks. A tale that spans over a decade, this is a story of innocence lost—for what happens when the hero becomes the villain? In the new Magical Empire, Harry Potter reigns supreme. The Statute of Wizarding Secrecy has been dissolved and Light and Dark must join forces to fight to freedom. But first… there’s something Ginny needs to remember.
A character study in power and the choices we make. (Slow backstory build up)
Draco’s lip curled and he went to release her. Without warning her fingers bunched into a fist, snatching his shirt making it impossible for him to move. He froze, unsure what to do as she stepped forward invading his personal space.
“I heard you,” Hermione whispered. “I heard you calling to me through the… whatever it was.” She inhaled, biting her lip. “I should have died. But you brought me back. That shouldn’t have been possible. Right?”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 892,582
- Chapters:
- 101/101
- Collections:
- 9
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- 1,747
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- 1,868
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- 2,291
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- 250,845
Bookmarked by Sariska
14 Feb 2026
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He knows her, now, in ways no one ever has. He knows the things she’ll say, the things she’ll hide. The things only her body will tell him in a quiet room, when she drowns her sorrows in the feel of him.
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Of all the things Hermione thought she'd learn at Hogwarts her eighth year, Draco Malfoy is by far the most unexpected.
An art-fic collab with Nikita Jobson.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,429
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 129
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- 4,604
- Bookmarks:
- 761
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- 88,359
Bookmarked by Sariska
06 Feb 2026
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Detention with Draco Malfoy shouldn't be this complicated, should it? || Seventh Year AU
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,132
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 156
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- 8,283
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- 1,037
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- 143,615
Bookmarked by Sariska
06 Feb 2026
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Nothing Good Happens After 2AM by LovesBitca8, nikitajobson
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Jan 2022
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And in the heartbeat that he didn't return the kiss, Hermione saw the rest of her school year flash before her eyes. The embarrassment, the teasing. Her chest constricted at this terribly awful thing she just did — kissing Draco Malfoy.
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Fic / Art Collab with NikitaJobson. Two-Shot
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,574
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 295
- Kudos:
- 13,986
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- 2,616
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- 331,626
Bookmarked by Sariska
06 Feb 2026
