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   they call him one mall steel by orphan_account

   Fandoms: The Penumbra Podcast  

   • Teen And Up Audiences
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   04 Feb 2019

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
   • Alessandra Strong/Her Glorious Battlewife (background)
   • Peter Nureyev
   • Juno Steel
   • Cassandra Kanagawa
   • Cecil Kanagawa
   • Min Kanagawa
   • Alessandra Strong
   • Rita (Penumbra Podcast)
   • what's a king to a god what's a god to a regional cinnabon manager
   • paul blart mall cop au
   • you know
   • that thing everyone was absolutely clamoring for
   • but like a paul blart mall cop au that gets weirdly dark because by god juno's going to angst
   • what is............pacing
   • Kind Of
   • ok so full disclosure i said this was a paul blart au and really its just paul bart flavored
   • like the soup packet that comes with stovetop ramen if you water it down too much

   Summary

   The answer to the eternal question: okay, but what if there was a Paul Blart Mall Cop AU for the Juniverse. Featuring a frankly irresponsible condensation of the timeline, Juno Steel as a cranky mall cop, and the knowledge that nothing good ever happens in the food court bathrooms. Oh, and Peter, who is far too comfortable in Claire's to be up to any good.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   16,285

   Chapters:

   2/2

   Collections:

   2

   Comments:

   86

   Kudos:

   434

   Bookmarks:

   104

   Hits:

   5,135

   Bookmarked by OrbitingMars

   30 Jul 2021