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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The doors swing open.

    "S-sorry I'm late!"

    Mandy holds back a sigh of relief, before turning to smile at the newcomer. "No worries, Waterboy. Take a seat and we'll… start…"

    She blinks. Once, then twice. Then—

    "Oh. Wow. You look—"

    "You actually look fuckable, what the hell," Courtney wheezes, sounding just as stunned as Mandy feels. Neither notice the sound of Prism's phone shutter clicking multiple times.

    ((Waterboy gets the teenage movie makeover treatment via Prism; eventual Flambae/Waterboy))

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,954
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    992
    Bookmarks:
    183
    Hits:
    9,183

    14 Jan 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Things have been good— besides some lingering regret over not killing Shroud and the careful consolidating of corporatizing Mecha Man with dispatch work, Robert’s been alright. Hell, he even bought a bed recently.

    Things spiral pretty quickly when he’s a victim of some sort of bizarro mugging and gets turned into a cat. Surprisingly, it doesn’t even rank in the top ten worst experiences of his life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,630
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    528
    Kudos:
    1,934
    Bookmarks:
    393
    Hits:
    22,432

    13 Jan 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Hold up, hold up!” Prism chuckled, handing him the orange, square-shaped cover. “You better read yours.”

    “For what? I already know what it says. ‘ Flambae is amazing, and so fucking strong, and hot, and I’m a bitch! Also, he’s hot’. “

    She raised a brow.

    Shoulders dropping, he opened the folder, and his eyes dimmed slightly.

    “ ‘Chad is the biggest asshole I’ve ever met.’

    Or,

    The Z-Team get their hands on Robert’s reports about them. Flambae doesn’t like what he finds, and makes sure Robert knows.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,877
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    199
    Kudos:
    1,989
    Bookmarks:
    351
    Hits:
    16,203

    13 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Supernatural creatures keep trying to lure away Robert because he’s like catnip to them, which is funny until it’s not. What does Malevola have to do to keep others from snatching away their dispatcher?

    Or,
    Kinda 5 times someone tried to steal Robert, and one time they used that to their advantage (and then still had to prevent someone from taking him home)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,767
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    1,787
    Bookmarks:
    401
    Hits:
    15,103

    08 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Surprisingly, Flambae doesn’t mind the newest dispatcher for Z-Team. Robert is a snarky asshole normie, but he’s smart as shit, actually seems invested in the job, and is all too willing to flirt back whenever Flambae can’t keep his mouth shut.

    Meanwhile Flambae’s arch nemesis, the infamous villain Mecha-Man with his wet freak sidekick, continues to make his life a living hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,743
    Chapters:
    15/16
    Comments:
    685
    Kudos:
    1,094
    Bookmarks:
    257
    Hits:
    19,180

    07 Jan 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The vibes have been weird between Robert and Flambae after the dust settles. It all comes to a head when they get kicked out of a bar (again.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    1,605
    Bookmarks:
    274
    Hits:
    9,421

    07 Jan 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    To call Robert's new situation with Flambae ‘complicated’ would be a drastic understatement.

    Robert cut his fucking fingers off. Flambae tried to burn him to death after a bar fight. They aren’t good for each other, barely even like each other, and there’s no way it’s going to end well.

    But when the sex is this fucking good, Robert is having trouble listening to the logic.

    Or, the one where they become fuckbuddies and catch feelings.

    (Everyone pretend to be shocked.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,830
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    311
    Kudos:
    1,913
    Bookmarks:
    514
    Hits:
    22,384

    07 Jan 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    A cult is attempting to summon a dark creature, and when Malevola is sent to stop them, they believe she is the creature they were trying to summon. What do they have to offer as their sacrifice?

    Everyone’s favorite dispatcher, of course!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    2,092
    Bookmarks:
    337
    Hits:
    11,329

    05 Jan 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Look.” he continued, hands raised in surrender. “You’re pissed. I get it. As you know, the rest of my day wasn’t that fucking great either.”

    He nodded towards the corner of the ceiling, where one of several small CCTV cameras sat. “But if you’re going to incinerate me, could you at least do it in a blind spot? I don’t exactly want my charred corpse caught in 4k.”

    Flambae glanced around at the cameras, puffing out a warm, steady breath. He met Robert’s gaze again, hot embers burning beneath his glare. Flambae’s other fist curled, trembling slightly.

    Robert licked his lips and braced, fully expecting to have to come up with a brand new excuse tomorrow for why his nose was busted this time around.

    Instead, his eyes narrowed when Flambae’s glare — for the smallest, most imperceptibly short moment — flitted down, tracking the motion. Flambae’s gaze snapped back up, looking caught.

    Robert blinked, eyes widening. His mouth fell open, the corner of his mouth ticking up just a fraction. “Oh.”

    Or, Robert and Flambae run into eachother after hours, post the “comms incident”. They argue a bit, then finish what they started.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,582
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    155
    Kudos:
    4,591
    Bookmarks:
    465
    Hits:
    35,586

    05 Jan 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Wait.” Flambae blurted, voice strained.

    Robert’s fingers tensed on the channel button, halting his motion. “…yeah?”

    The line went quiet for a moment before Flambae made a soft, surrendering sound.

    “Fuck.” he borderline whined, and Robert couldn’t help the way his breath caught in his throat.

    “...Do you…want help? Or something?” Robert winced, regretting the words as soon as they left his mouth. “The sooner you’re done with…whatever this is, the sooner you can get back out on the field. So—just tell me what you need.”

    Another beat of silence and Robert briefly considered taking the offer back, asking Flambae to forget he even said anything. A rough exhale whistled in his ears.

    “Talk to me.”

    -

    Or, Flambae gets a bit "pent-up" mid-shift. Robert lends him a helping hand (Well, voice).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,696
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    3,060
    Bookmarks:
    328
    Hits:
    22,791

    04 Jan 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "It was almost inconsequential in the general gist of things. Robert would not have given it a second thought if not for the weird tension that sprouted after, and the fact that his team made a bigger deal than it had to be. It was not like he was actually hurt, not really, the fingers were not even broken. Probably. It was fractured at most, in his personal opinion. "

     

    Or

    The team slowly figuring out Robert's insanely high pain tolerance and progressively getting more worried about it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,853
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    433
    Kudos:
    3,407
    Bookmarks:
    762
    Hits:
    36,065

    03 Jan 2026

  12. Public Bookmark 56

    Tags
    Summary

    Robert has to discipline Flambae at work, and gets a different kind of discipline later

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,213
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    927
    Bookmarks:
    56
    Hits:
    7,852

    03 Jan 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Robert, don’t look, but there’s a group of weirdos over by the window who bet me that I couldn’t get the number of, and I quote, ‘that gloomy twink at the bar’.”

    —-

    Z-Team unknowingly sends Robert’s ex to flirt with him, not knowing they already know each other, and Robert is all too happy to play along if it means his ex will split his winnings with him. But damn, when did the bar get so hot? Couldn’t have anything to do with Flambae looking like he’s five seconds from lunging over the table and killing someone, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,341
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    218
    Kudos:
    4,183
    Bookmarks:
    789
    Hits:
    25,535

    03 Jan 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Money is tight, so Robert does what he knows best - scrounging. Sometimes, scrounging involves sending pictures of your dick to a sugar daddy on a weird app so you can pay rent and buy a mattress. Sometimes, it involves finding out your sugar daddy is your coworker and you’re in love with him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,283
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    390
    Kudos:
    2,340
    Bookmarks:
    368
    Hits:
    35,693

    25 Dec 2025

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "It’s a bad idea. It’s a terrible idea. 

    But both of his boyfriends are out, they let him sleep in while they went to do something. Probably getting groceries. The apartment is just so empty, Beef isn’t even here. Maybe Herm is just a little lonely, with only his morning wood for company. "

    Waterboy is left to his own devices, for a while.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,272
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    1,926
    Bookmarks:
    166
    Hits:
    14,710

    24 Dec 2025

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Robert isn't at work. Robert. The same guy that came in just hours after being EXPLODED. Is not at work.
    Why?

    [OR: Robert takes a day to get his head right after everything and the Z-Team takes this personally. And also get some insight to his.. weird relationship with food? Kinda?]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,191
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    331
    Kudos:
    2,626
    Bookmarks:
    482
    Hits:
    14,209

    23 Dec 2025

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Look. Look. It's not like Robert kept his mouth shut about the extent of the pain on purpose. He's just used to having to patch himself up alone, Beef's non-judgemental looks and adorable snuffles keeping him company while he powered through another set of stitches.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    687
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    2,041
    Bookmarks:
    266
    Hits:
    11,412

    23 Dec 2025

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    As much as Waterboy appreciates the opportunity to be part of the Z-Team, he can't help but question if Robert made the right choice choosing him of all people. But Robert's just so good to him.
    And he knows that Waterboy can be good too.

    Yet another fic where these guys get freaky in a closet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,511
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    2,103
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    15,176

    23 Dec 2025

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Robert fills up the glass he's been trying to remove a questionable stain from and empties it in a fluid movement over his shoulder, enjoying the indignant squawk it produces before all noise ceases. Blessed silence.

    "You gotta stop doing this near the sources of water," Robert comments lazily, turning around to lean back against the sink. He smirks at the sight of Flambae. Dripping wet, and eyes wild. Pathetic.

    "Just you wait until I set you on fire in your sleep," Flambae says through gritted teeth, fingers twitching as if he's trying to summon his fire despite the water impairing him.

    "Bringing kinky shit into the bedroom already?" Robert quips. He crosses his arms, not cowed in the slightest by the other's larger frame.

     

    or; Flambae's apartment is destroyed during the attack. He forces his way into staying at Robert's instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,333
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    129
    Kudos:
    2,682
    Bookmarks:
    492
    Hits:
    17,154

    23 Dec 2025

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There just had to be a jewelry store next door, that just had to have some desirable piece on display that made it the perfect target for an early morning heist...and it just had to be next to a fucking daycare.

    Did Robert know the guy had a gun? Yes. But what he didn't know was that the bastard had gotten in a lucky shot.

    Fuck his incredibly high pain tolerance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,187
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    1,005
    Kudos:
    5,547
    Bookmarks:
    1,152
    Hits:
    79,563

    11 Dec 2025

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