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Recent series
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Dumb Ways To (Almost) Die by 0MissE0, Artimus_Pax, ArtistRedFox, Athena_Muldrow, Baze_loves_bugs, biggirlsdontcry, Blank_Error, BlindayEverlien, carpetchewer, cottonmouthcandy, CrypticMushroom, CthosEris, DarkLordOfAwesomeness, Dimonds456, Djdjdjmk, egg_with_a_pen, EmS (EmilienSancier), Kyle_committing_Arson, lackinggravitas (espansivo), MariDraws, Oatmeal_Archive, pickledoesfanfic, ryeBread1825114, SpookyArchivist, stayweirdalways
Fandom Gravity Falls
28 Oct 2025
Summary
Have you ever looked at an old man in a cartoon show targeted for kids and wondered “Hm… I wonder how many times this guy (who only has 5 fingers {LAME!!}) almost died?”
Well, WONDER NO MORE!!! Here in [Dumb Ways To (Almost) Die] you will find most of Grunkle Stan’s NDEs!! But what is an ‘NDE’ you may ask- why, it’s short for [Near Death Expirience(s)] Of course!!This fanfiction is centred over what would happen if the elder twins weren’t such little ***** and actually ******* held hands!! WOW!! Crazy! It is also based on the fandom’s dire need to see this old man in pain! Constantly! And needing to see this old man’s brother see his brother in pain! For guilt! It’s yummy!!
As the setting is the [Bill-Cipher Zodiac] the characters involved in this series (written by various writers in the fandom) may consist of: Shooting Star, Pine Tree, ?, Ice Ice Babyy and other characters only very specific people care about!“I'm a very relentless individual and have a lot more insanity coming”
- Alex Hirsch- Words:
- 147,569
- Works:
- 35
- Bookmarks:
- 51
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Summary
When one grows up in a world where shadows can speak, whispers are as good as shouts, and fear is far more important that love, one isn't used to...loyalty.
Janus certainly isn't, not after years and years of perfecting the lie of loyalty, working his way through the nest with a blinding smile to hide the way the knife in his grasp catches the light.
And now...now the old king is dead.
Long Live the King.
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"What honor is there that I can find now? What—how do I know what is right anymore? I've been behind a sword for so long, I fear…I fear I'm forgetting who I am without it." His breath comes out shakier. "And I fear…if I were to ever try to explain this to someone who wasn't you, my words would come out so clumsy they would impale me on their rusted edges."
"There is nothing wrong with the way you speak, Roman. Nothing at all."
"If only it were something that would be listened to."
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There is something to be said about selflessness, and it’s not that it’s good.
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"A sacrifice for you," the zealot says quickly, trying to appeal to the demon's focus, "a token of our appreciation and worship."
The demon's head tilts. Remus looks up at them, pain and blood loss working in tandem to make it a struggle to even keep his eyes open, his vision growing fuzzier again. The demon's fingers twitch.
"O Great and Powerful—"
"Are these people bothering you, my dear?"
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Summary
Roman's parents are very encouraging. They want him to succeed in life, they want what's best for him. And what they think is best for him is for him to have a major that sets him up for jobs that will provide him with a steady paycheck, stability, and plenty of options for growth.
Never mind what he wants.
Bookmarked by Oatmeal_Archive
17 Feb 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
AH AHHH OH MY GODD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH