Illuminox
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Scratching Your Back Scratches Mine by MothballMilkshake
Fandoms: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon)
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
It started as a faint itch. A slight tickle between Alastor’s shoulder blades, the kind of irritation he could reach back and rub absently away with a careless scrape of his claws. It wasn’t anything particularly unusual; given the temperature of the realm they resided in, sweat was very nearly a given, and even somebody who’d been down here for almost a century could sometimes feel the heat.
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Alastor is experiencing what can only be phantom pain, because he certainly doesn't have anything between his shoulders that should be causing him issue. His lover, on the other hand...
Series
- Part 57 of AppleRadio ONE SHOTS
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,395
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 20
- Kudos:
- 384
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 1,865
Bookmarked by Illuminox
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
Charlie isn't sure how she hasn't noticed it before, but now that she's seen it, it is so obvious : Alastor is in love.
She decides to play matchmaker.
As always, her ability to believe the best in people is both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness.
Her matchmaking attempts lead to a cascading series of events, with opposing agendas and unintended consequences, which are often comical and sometimes serious.
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Alternative Summaries:
Charlie wants Alastor and Lucifer to date and things get out of handRadioApple but like do they know that? Has anyone told them?
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Spoilers for Season Two.
Tags and chapter count are an estimate but hopefully mostly there.
Thank you to HeeroTheShiro for the ongoing Beta and letting me be obsessed at you
Bookmarked by Illuminox
21 Feb 2026
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Summary
After a nasty argument with Lilith, Lucifer wakes up in the bed of an unknown overlord and panics. He leaves quickly and tries his absolute best to forget the sparse and blurry memories he has remaining of that wonderful evening. The next night, he spends in bed with his wife. When he turns out to be pregnant a few weeks later, he thinks nothing about the mysterious demon who's bed he had shared, only that he and Lilith would finally be parents. He's absolutely delighted when his daughter is born, and takes great pride in the fact that she takes after him so much. He jokes with his wife sometimes that her genes were no very strong, however Lilith cannot help but get stuck on his words. It's true, Charlie looks nothing like her. And curiously, she has a lot of deer characteristics the older she gets... Something neither she nor Lucifer has.
Or:
Lucifer has a one-night-stand with Alastor after an argument with Lilith, which results in the conception of Charlie. However, neither of them realise it. It's only revealed after the Radio Demon shows up at the Happy Hotel, intending to cause some chaos out of spite for Lucifer, but is met with a girl who shares some curious traits with him.
Series
- Part 1 of My Fawn Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 133,253
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 962
- Kudos:
- 5,390
- Bookmarks:
- 1,086
- Hits:
- 160,731
Bookmarked by Illuminox
19 Feb 2026
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Summary
“I think you’re willing to make a deal now, would I be correct?”
The sinner nodded his head frantically.
“Lovely. The terms are thus: you are going to give me your pathetic soul, and go out and—” Alastor chuckled. This was absolutely hilarious. He owed his darling Rosie for this later. “—spread the good word of our Lord and savior Lucifer. Be respectful of our King in all ways. Oh, and perhaps a public apology wouldn’t be too out of place. Of course, remember, if I find that you aren’t wholeheartedly abiding by the true intention of our deal, I’ll bring you right back here and give that smile of yours a little extra work-over. So, do we have a deal?”
My play on a more realistic version of how an 'Executioner Alastor' could come to be.
Feat: No deals between him and Lucifer, torturing of wayward sinners, a cursed duck child, a mounted TV, and attempts to make everything that Lucifer relies on center around him until he is so indispensable that Lucifer can't do anything to get rid of him.
Bookmarked by Illuminox
15 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Hmmm, so, Al, I was thinking… It’s clear that for some reason you want me to divide from Vel and Val, and considering how everything is playing out, I’m willing to do that for you.” A claw ran down Alastor’s neck, but the radio demon kept himself perfectly still. “I just think that in return, I could use a—oh, how did you put it?—a teensy-weensy little condition, maybe two~!”
“Curiosity compels me to ask, what are those conditions?” Alastor asked, his tone carefully even as he raised an eyebrow.
“Just do me the favor of actually taking down that little protective barrier that doesn’t allow my cameras to work for the broadcast, and, at some point, I think a little lip-lock on stage would be absolutely perfect. After all, name something that could make that Princess feel worse?! Imagine the look on her fucking face! Her first little tenant was always a spy, her father told to get lost and then captured due to her own actions, and on top of that her first employee forced into such a position of pain for him—it would be utterly beautiful.”
Stay silent, Lucifer, Alastor demanded mentally.
Oneshot Post S2Ep6
Bookmarked by Illuminox
15 Feb 2026