Criminalbeans



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  1. Rec *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov, break out star of the hit show Skating Limits, has a problem. His stalker is escalating to violence and ruining the press tour for the new season. Naturally, his agent and childhood friend, Svetlana, has a solution to the problem: Shane Hollander, former Secret Service agent and private bodyguard.

    Shane, however, has his reservations about the job. He doesn't work with celebrities. Celebrities are security risks and they don't listen. So Ilya will have to play ball, or Shane will break their contract, leaving him exposed to the man hunting him.

    Despite the risks, they don't seem to be able to stay away from one another anyway. While Ilya contends with his growing feelings, Shane is more than ready to do whatever it takes to protect his principal.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,810
    Chapters:
    54/55
    Comments:
    355
    Kudos:
    437
    Bookmarks:
    185
    Hits:
    12,200

    24 Feb 2026

  2. Rec *

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    “Shane,” Rose says gently. “I don’t think Eva is good for you.”

    Shane sighs into his water glass. This again. You get one shoe thrown at you during an argument, and suddenly everyone thinks you’re being abused.

    Or: Shane ends up dating Rose’s co-star rather than her, and soon finds himself in an abusive relationship. Ilya and Shane's friends need to put aside their differences in order to keep him safe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    82,633
    Chapters:
    35/35
    Comments:
    1,958
    Kudos:
    6,924
    Bookmarks:
    1,665
    Hits:
    202,617

    29 Dec 2025

  3. Rec 43

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    Summary

    For a second, neither of you speaks. The silence stretches long and thin, suspended between the person you used to know and the person standing in front of you now.

    “...Jud?” Your voice is thick with disbelief.

    Jud Duplenticy just stands there, eyes wide, fingers twitching by his side like he doesn’t know what to do with them.

    OR

    your visit to chimney rock was only supposed to just be a stepping stone to your new future, but instead it leads you right back to the man you used to love and the faith you left behind — now intertwined.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,298
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    3,865

    06 Jan 2026

  4. Rec 42

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    Summary

    Where Calvin and Susie decide to go on a road trip, Hobbes hangs out in the background, a girl with superpowers is looking for a way home, and a town in Indiana is having trouble moving on.

    OR

    The head-canon that's going to become obsolete in October.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,852
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    1,621

    03 Dec 2025

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    Steve’s never understood why adults always praise him for being a “people person” as if it’s some great accomplishment.

    What, like it’s hard?

    -------------------

    Or: Steve Harrington is your average American teenager, he just had to work harder than most to learn how to ignore the emotions bumping into him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    218,146
    Chapters:
    32/?
    Collections:
    22
    Comments:
    2,313
    Kudos:
    7,242
    Bookmarks:
    2,320
    Hits:
    226,910

    22 Jul 2022