Colorfullyminded
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Robert continued, “What qualifies as the best insult? Is it like a scale? Are we putting it to a vote?”
The comms went silent for a moment; bless their little asshole hearts, they were really straining their mind muscles right now.
“That’s a good point– how will we know who’s the winner? We’re likely to vote for ourselves– leaving it a complete standstill.”
Robert rubbed his temple; he didn’t know why he was entertaining it, but– goddamn he was also pretty fucking bored. And color him intrigued.
“Okay, how about this? The winner is the first person who can hurt my feelings, deal?”
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It's My Right to Be Hellish, I Still Get Jealous by Colorfullyminded, InkAndSmudge
Fandoms: Dispatch (Video Game)
22 Jan 2026
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But Robert knew no matter how much he wanted it, kindness wasn’t something he, or his stupid, broken down body, deserved.
He pulled away again, averting his eyes self-consciously whenever he remembered why he was really there tonight. The last thing he wanted was for Waterboy to see him like that. To see what the hero that he idolised was really like behind all the smoke and mirrors.
Herman’s smile fell at the same time as his lighter-coloured eyebrows rose, “D-don’t you want to dance-join in?” He glanced around the place where Robert was still leaning against the counter, “You’re all by your-alone.”
Not for long, if I’m lucky, Robert thought bitterly. The ache that had been building in his gut all day felt like a ravenous, gnawing hole now. It twisted something inside of him, made him feel sick and rotten and wrong. And a thousand miles away from the sweet-faced, wetsuit-wearing hero currently giving up his Saturday night to help keep a bunch of villains safe at a crappy metal night.
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“E-easy now. Robert, take it eas– it’s okay– you're okay”
Another fist comes swinging in from the right; Herman clumsily grabs it, and now he’s awkwardly holding Robert’s arms as they cross over one another. Robert snarls, this desperate, wounded, noise, as he attempts to shake Herman off.
Herman quickly straddles his waist, untangling Robert’s arms, and forcing them at his sides; he readjusts his weight so that he can pin them down with his thighs.
“Shhh, P-pup…it’s okay. Shhh, it’s me. It’s Hermie….please calm down.”
Even using his softest tone, it’s ineffective as the man struggles beneath him; he’s locked deep in his unconscious. It’s going to take much more drastic measures.
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“Well I’ll be damned… this feels too good to be true.”
And it does; Robert isn’t used to surprise gifts– he hasn’t done anything to warrant this. He hates that his immediate response was to throw up his hackles, and try to find any signs of tampering– but it’s not unreasonable for someone like him. He’s Mecha Man; he’s on a lot of people’s shitlist. There’s a lot of people who would mean to do him harm, or at the very least, play a cruel prank on him. He can’t let his guard down, just because he’s a dispatcher now. Being Robert Robertson doesn’t erase the legacy that hangs over his shoulders– the shadow that it casts.
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More protests from the group; throwing casual insults that rolled off his back. At least his back could handle that burden of weight.
Robert sighed, though he could feel the smile fighting his lips. At least they seemed to have gotten distracted by something else. Which meant no one was going to bring up—
“Who wants to bet on why Mecha Man threw out his back?!” Prism asked.
Recent series
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Pinescone Month by Colorfullyminded
Fandom Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon & Comics)
13 Nov 2020
Summary
Pinescone Month 2019-202?: A collection of Prompts.
((I'm attempting to write one of every prompt for the Pinescone week 2019, even if it's no longer 2019...or Pinescone Week. I don't know why I'm committed to this, but I am))
- Words:
- 83,125
- Works:
- 10
- Bookmarks:
- 15
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Robert breaks the kiss for what is meant to be just a fraction of a moment, just enough to catch a lungful of damp air. He stays close, the tips of their noses brushing. He’s looking at Herm’s eyelashes, speckled with moisture, and the way his boyfriend looks so utterly wrecked and beautiful. The sheer comfort, the absolute certainty that he never wants to be anywhere else, overflows into words.
“We should just get married,” Robert blurts out, his voice smooth and lazy and not completely aware of what he’s just said.
Herm freezes.
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Robert asks his alpha to pretend with him a little while
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“Alright, team. Rally up. Stop jerking each other off,” Robert said, staring up at the ceiling.
Visi snorted. “I think the only circle jerk going on right now is between you and Herm, dude.”
“Zip up, boys!” Prism exclaimed, nearly hysterical with it, and Robert sat there with a spinning head as the group devolved into yet another fit of laughter, this one even more undignified than the first.
Anxiety clawed at the walls of Robert’s throat. Discomfort bloomed in his stomach. This was… bad. Terrible, even. Had the jokes always been this direct? Did everyone but Robert already know about this?
Or, Robert learns that Waterboy has obvious favoritism towards him, and because he's so distracted by the concept, Robert doesn't even realize that he's being courted.
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Herman loves to tell his best friend Robert all about the progress he's making with his powers.
But there's one thought that catches in Robert's mind and just won't let go.
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Maybe it was a bad idea to bring the guy with a noticeable crush on him over to his shitty, sparse apartment under the guise of sharing a drink and "getting to know each other". Maybe it was absolutely fucked how desperately he wanted his hands on Z-Team's very own Waterboy.
He was so going to get fired for this. And it'd be so worth it.
***
Or, Robert shooting his shot and getting more than just his mind blown in response.