ChainsawKitty
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It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like %@$&*mas by periodically_puzzled
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
25 Dec 2022
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Summary
“Where’re you off to that’s so much better than hanging out with me, anyway?” Peter joked.
“Top-secret mission,” mumbled Deadpool through a mouthful of quesadillas-plural. “I’d tell you, but I’d have to kill you.”
Peter lowered his voice surreptitiously. “Does Santa need you to save Christmas?”
Deadpool laughed so suddenly that Peter half-expected him to choke. “Do not count on me to save Christmas. If Christmas ever needs saving and I’m the only man for the job, it’s going the way of the dodo.”
“Cheers to that,” said Peter, raising his soda cup, and Deadpool readily knocked it against his own in agreement.
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Due to a series of plot contrivances and cheesy tropes, workaholic reporter Peter Parker is whisked out of New York for Chanukah and transplanted into a small Midwestern town that's totally cuckoo for Christmas. The only thing making it tolerable is charming, smooth-talking man-in-flannel Wade Wilson, the only other person in town who seems utterly disinterested in the holiday.
Due to an unrelated series of plot contrivances and cheesy tropes, it seems they've met before.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,000
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,005
- Kudos:
- 1,122
- Bookmarks:
- 228
- Hits:
- 13,104
Bookmarked by ChainsawKitty
13 Feb 2026
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Summary
“Should call you the Ottawa Puppies,” says the Toronto centre, Svensson. As an insult it makes no sense, so Ilya ignores it, until he continues, “Hear Hollander keeps you on a short leash.”
Ilya is the captain, so if anything, he should be holding the leash. In English, you can be singular or plural, but he knows what Svensson is trying to say. He is saying Ilya Rozanov, you are Hollander’s bitch.
“Only sometimes,” Ilya replies, grinning. He wins the face off.
OR: Ilya trains himself to be a very, very good guard dog for Shane.
Series
- Part 1 of Dog
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,424
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 11
- Comments:
- 854
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- 26,990
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- 5,114
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Bookmarked by ChainsawKitty
23 Dec 2025
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The Duality of Man by ThatDamnKennedyKid
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, The Batman (Movie 2022), Superman (Christopher Reeve Movies)
02 Feb 2023
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Summary
Bruce is always sweet as a kitten for him, and Clark likes to keep him that way, even if Lois teases him for it.
OR; thanks entirely to bruciemilf here and on tumblr, DILF!Clark rails younger Bruce.
Bookmarked by ChainsawKitty
27 Aug 2025
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20th Century Limited by Speranza for lim
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
04 Sep 2015
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Summary
"Where am I? Where is this?" and he was in Brooklyn, he was on a beach, the train was shaking around him. He was in the plane, ice splintering up onto the windshield. He was in a tank, tubes trailing from his face, from his groin. Christ, he was cold. There was still ice on his fingers. He was in the Grand Canyon. He was in Times Square. This couldn't be Times Square. Where the hell was this? "Tell me! Where am I, who are you, where's—" —Bucky?
Series
- Part 1 of Speranza Sampler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,010
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,164
- Kudos:
- 8,275
- Bookmarks:
- 3,488
- Hits:
- 141,946
Bookmarked by ChainsawKitty
17 May 2025
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If I'm Crazy... by Mystirium_Inc
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel
18 Aug 2023
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Summary
“Any chance you’re willing to help me take the stitches out then?” Peter asks, “The wounds already closed, and my healing factor makes them heal over if I don’t take them out quick. Think I can get most of them, but not the ones on my back.”
“Hey, no worries, Petey. I can take ‘em all out. Pulling your own stitches out is a bitch and a fuckin half,” Wade offers, patting the Futon next to him for Peter to scooch closer. When he shuffles up, Wade helps him take the oversized shirt off and starts gently prodding at some of the bigger wounds, all of them practically closed.
Peter felt an unexplained, pleasant kind of nervous energy being this close to Wade. He can feel the heat coming off the merc from this close. Even with the gloves on, the press of Wade's hands makes his heart pick up a bit.
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After a Bank Robbery a la explosives leaves Spidey all banged up, Deadpool helps patch him up. Queue caring best bud, Wade Wilson.
The touch of Wade's scarred hands gets Peter all hot and bothered and he starts to get curious about other ways that skin might feel nice...
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Now with an awesome podfic !
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,849
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 238
- Kudos:
- 4,628
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- 755
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- 64,577
Bookmarked by ChainsawKitty
16 May 2025