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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wow,” Ilya snickers. “Not even Golden Boy Hollander is safe from the pussy curse, huh?”

    “Do not call it that.”

    Ilya crosses his arms and looks at Shane like he’s being stupid. It’s a frustratingly familiar look. “It is a curse that gives a pussy. Pussy curse. It’s not that bad of curse, actually.”

    Or; Someone commissions a witch to curse Shane with a vagina. It’s a flagrant violation of MLH rules, but Ilya’s always been good at making lemonade out of lemons.

    Language:
    English
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    1/1
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    19 Feb 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “You will not be so nice when we beat you,” Ilya told Shane Hollander, holding onto his hand, not letting him pull away. Not yet.

    But Hollander’s brow furrowed, not in anger but in confusion. “Ah, um, sorry,” Hollander said. “Merci. My English is bad. Worse… than you. Maybe slower?” And he leaned in, like that would help him understand.

    Ilya’s eyebrows rose, and his smile widened.

    Or, Ilya Rozanov grew up in Russia. Shane Hollander was raised in France. When they first meet, neither of them can speak English very well. Somehow, it’s easier to understand each other when words aren’t getting in the way.

    (Stand-alone remix of “I’m Reading Your Lips (You’re Speaking My Language)” but this time neither of them are native English speakers, and learning a new language is sort of like falling in love, if you think about it.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,862
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    1/1
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    15 Feb 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “I’m putting in a transfer request to Carleton this afternoon.”

    Ilya gets off his bike and wraps his sweaty arms around Shane’s sweaty shoulders, presses their sweaty heads together and holds him tight. “Nooo, Hollander, you cannot leave me. Who will put Barrett and Marly in time out when they fuck up too many shots in a row?”

    “I’m sure Bood will do it. He loves bossing people around.”

    Bood stands up straight and salutes his captains. “I take the title with great honor. Enjoy the Ravens, Hollander—your legacy of being a chaste Victorian debutante will be remembered fondly but not carried on.”

    This snaps that last thread of Shane’s refined patience. “I can pick up girls! I have no problem getting numbers and calling them and talking!”

    Hazy smirks. “Innocent until proven guilty.”

    “I can pick people up,” Shane says again, moving off his bike and out of Ilya’s sweaty embrace. “And I don’t have to do it by concocting schemes or stripping on top of the LAX bros’ coffee table.”

    Or, after some team chirping at Shane's expense, Ilya accidentally interrupts a few of his potential dating prospects and then keeps on doing it less than accidentally

    Language:
    English
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    17,849
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    1/1
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    221
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    15 Feb 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    830
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    15 Feb 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Everybody else on earth was born with a manual on How to Be. A sort of silver spoon already tucked into their mouth.

    Shane wishes he had gotten one.

    After an exhausting day of masking and overstimulation, Shane has a panic attack. He loses the ability to speak. Thankfully, Ilya is there to help him through.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,285
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    299
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    11 Feb 2026