Baby_Droll
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he squeezes his eyes shut, and blows out the candles; just once, he wishes, with all of his might, i want to get what i want, and not what everybody else wants for me.
"what'd you wish for?" he asks, smile bright.
felix thinks of the future that stretches on the other side of this year, and summer, and how far he can get with a few years of birthday money, and then he feels the way that minho's fingers drift to his hair, and seungmin loops a possessive hand around his bicep.
"well, if i told you, it wouldn't come true."
chris looks at him, and for a small moment, it's just the two of them again; that look from earlier is back, it makes his stomach drop to his feet, to be looked at like that; it almost feels like desire; it's embarrassing the way that goosebumps settle over his skin.
"no," chris says, his breath sugar-sweet and too close; he smells like laundry detergent, and slightly of smoke, and his expensive cologne, like a man, he thinks, with no small edge of jealousy, "i'd like to think you have a way of still getting what you want."
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"you were too far away," eddie says, smiling, too smug and proud of himself for making buck jump; his stomach rolls, and it's not from sea-sickness; he doesn't know what face he's making, but he's sure it's deranged; he gets flashes of neon lights and oil and rain slick parking lots, and the feeling of being pushed away, and the pancakes start threatening to make a reappearance.
"i was leaving space for jesus," he shoots back, only barely keeping his composure; at least it makes eddie laugh again, even though his heart is beating in his throat, being this close; he wants to be better than this; he feels like the type of person they crack all of those jokes about when he's just brave enough to go to the gsa meetings that are rather ironically held in the chapel on campus; he moves his chair away again, only to get promptly dragged back, the feet of the chair scraping against the metal surface of the deck.
ana coughs, and tommy stares at both of them like he's putting something together that buck would rather he didn't; it's embarrassing enough that maddie knows; if tommy puts it together, he might actually end himself.
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"you don't have to be quiet," he says, speaking the words into the tender skin of felix's throat, just to feel the way that he shivers.
"i can't—i don't know what to say," every word he speaks is more slurred than the last, until they melt together, like his train of thought turns into heat that drips down his spine, rather than forming into anything coherent; it's clear that he doesn't know how to do all of these things at once, too overwhelmed from so many sensations.
this is part of the high that he gets, from all of them, all of the little pieces of them that he gets to keep, but this is the most important part, the way that they all get so confused, not from fear, but from forming new understandings of pleasure, created under his hands, under his will, a divinity of filth that almost makes him want to whisper an actual prayer into the curves of their necks; it's just that for all that every single one of them is beautiful, some of them have been liars, and none of them have been the angel melting into his hands; felix is a vision of fire in an empty path, soft sand under parted waters.
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"it's you, when we have to choose, it's you."
he doesn't even really mean to say it, especially not in the middle of the conversation, but he can't help himself.
"i know," porsche says, resting his chin on his hands with a smile, "but i win, i chose you first."
kinn laughs, and porsche pouts, but his pout wobbles into a smile, and he laughs too.
"okay, i'll let you win. isn't that what marriage is about?"
it feels too good to say. it feels addictive to say, it feels like jasmine and gardenia and linen suits and soft sand, it feels like seeing porsche kneeling from the corner of his eye and trying to keep a straight face while a calloused thumb anoints his forehead, it feels like forever, like the first in a long line of times that he'll say the same thing, feel the same way; i'll let you win over and over and over again, to see you smile at me like that, he thinks, and he feels like it's written all over his face.
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"it's just a room," felix says slowly, trying not to spook him, he doesn't do this with straight boys for a reason, even though he sees the way chris looks at him, and jisung sometimes, not in the way that people who like pretty women look at pretty men, with eyes that linger with a disgusted twist to their mouth, mad at the trick of the light.
he looks at them the way that men who like pretty men look at pretty men, like they want to crawl inside their skin and live there, like there's something he could take and run with, a spark to the flame of obsession; he tips his head and feels chris's eyes snap to his neck like a wolf catching a smudge of white fur against snow, starving gaze flicking to a spotted inconsistency of texture; the difference between feast and famine.
"i know," whatever was holding him back, he shakes out of it and straightens up, a consummate professional.
"tell me where you want me."
Recent series
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Summary
"and ain't shit 'bout me cheap and ain't shit 'bout me free" - our lord and savior, florence millicent. | kinn & porsche, and all the other pieces on their fucked up chess board
- Words:
- 28,082
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 129
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calling your name by Baby_Droll
Fandom บรรยากาศรัก เดอะซีรีส์ | Love in the Air (TV 2022)
13 Jul 2023
Summary
rain and phayu get travel horny and explore consensual non-consent. keep your arms inside the ride at all times!
- Words:
- 8,508
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 2
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you'll likely never meet another by Baby_Droll
Fandom บรรยากาศรัก เดอะซีรีส์ | Love in the Air (TV 2022)
09 Jul 2023
Summary
i will never let you let me leave, i promise i'm not lyin!
- Words:
- 9,489
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 25
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Summary
kinn and porsche & baby make three
- Words:
- 53,161
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 180
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Summary
a male libra and an anxious attachment walk into a bar
- Words:
- 48,463
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 10
Recent bookmarks
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His freedom is a concept that has lied out of reach for him since he was first captured, as he never assumed that there would be any other way for his story to end: the scientists on the ship made it clear he would be trapped in America until his new owners grew bored with him and severed his life at any moment they deemed fit. He wished for freedom, naturally, but as his time on the ship lengthened this wish changed. It seemed unfathomable to leave Hao behind when Hanbin was growing more convinced that they belonged together. He wanted Hao to always be with him, to brush a hand through Hanbin’s hair or pinch his cheek or smile at him in that soft, amused way he does. Two rivers running in parallel to each other until their time of confluence.
Bookmarked by Baby_Droll
25 Mar 2025
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Summary
SKZ as members of Seoul's high society, doing their very worst.
All fics can be read as a stand-alone.
- Words:
- 117,250
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 299
Bookmarked by Baby_Droll
09 Jan 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
Work/Series Details
you make me ssick by spearbreaker
Updated: 2025-01-04
Work/Series ID: 4557985Relationship Tags:
• Bang Chan/Lee Felix (Stray Kids)
• Hwang Hyunjin/Seo ChangbinWork/Series Summary:
NO SUMMARY
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Summary
Seokjin is twenty-three and living his best life. He doesn’t want to deal with negative bullshit like his uptight neighbour’s unsolicited comments on how he’s actually a hot mess. Namjoon, meanwhile, is thirty-nine, stressed trying to get tenure, and does not want to listen to his twink-neighbour’s sex parties.
Too bad they’re desperate to fuck each other.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,560
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 1,257
- Kudos:
- 2,374
- Bookmarks:
- 622
- Hits:
- 58,163
Bookmarked by Baby_Droll
28 Aug 2024
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Summary
Jeon Wonwoo's birthday is coming up and he'll be spending it alone. Stop asking him about it. He doesn't care.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,787
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 71
- Kudos:
- 1,397
- Bookmarks:
- 359
- Hits:
- 13,977
Bookmarked by Baby_Droll
14 Oct 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Work/Series Details
Seaweed Soup by preciouslittletime
Published: 2022-05-21
Work/Series ID: 39122124Relationship Tags:
Work/Series Summary:
Jeon Wonwoo's birthday is coming up and he'll be spending it alone. Stop asking him about it. He doesn't care.
(Approximate) Last Read: 2024/08/25
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Summary
fwb to lovers to fluffy bfs, featuring jun's adorable orange cat named byuli. this is her universe now
- Words:
- 135,889
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 55
Bookmarked by Baby_Droll
13 Oct 2023
Bookmarker's Notes
Work/Series Details
byuli extended universe by paishhao
Updated: 2022-11-05
Work/Series ID: 2611753Relationship Tags:
• Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
• Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | HoshiWork/Series Summary:
fwb to lovers to fluffy bfs, featuring jun's adorable orange cat named byuli. this is her universe now
Series Notes:
the series name started as a joke and the series itself started as a oneshot but here we are