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A 3:10 to Yuma AU. 1880s Arizona. Inept "Gentleman Rancher" Stede Bonnet volunteers to escort infamous outlaw Edward Teach to justice. Along the way, he'll have to choose between the man he wants and the man he wants to be.
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Across miles of dust, snow, and river silt, Ed and Stede are chasing more than gold... they’re chasing each other. What starts as a shared dream on the trail turns into a story of heartbreak, forgiveness, and a love strong enough to outlast the frontier itself.
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I Want to Know What Love Is by aloc, BookknobsandBroomsticks
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Nov 2025
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Stede’s been bringing his queer book club to Ed’s bar for a couple of months now, and Ed’s been nursing a bit of a crush (okay a lot of a crush) basically since the moment he walked in. He doesn’t intend to act on it, doesn’t really think Stede would be interested in him anyway, but then he overhears them talking about their most recent book - a smutty romance that Lucius picked. Stede didn’t enjoy it, doesn’t think relationships like that exist in the real world. That all-consuming, ‘can’t keep your hands off each other’, desperate wanting. And, well, he can’t have that. Stede might just be the guy of his dreams, so if nothing else Ed knows he can show Stede what it feels like to be wanted.
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Stede Bonnet had no idea what he was doing. Never did, really. Life was just a series of missteps that he stumbled from one to another and just tried not to fall.
But a certain legendary pirate came into his life, and he found himself falling anyway.
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Blackbeard had no idea what he was doing. He used to, but not anymore. Life was just a series of predictable tedium that threatened to drive him out of his mind.
But a certain wannabe pirate came into his life, and he found himself anything but bored.
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Floating in Your Waves of Light by bUtterscUp, Smolbus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Aug 2025
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Wealthy landowner turned lighthouse keeper Stede Bonnet has been dreaming of going out to sea. Those dreams are definitely not getting any weaker when he finds a pen pal, a mysterious seaman named Jeff. One morning, after a stormy night, Stede finds a man lying on the beach, injured and half-drowned. But as he nurses the man back to health, Stede starts to suspect that this man is not really a stranger to him at all, and perhaps so much more...
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“You live in LA?” Stede asked, and Ed stiffened a bit next to him. Stede chuckled softly. “It’s a big place, Ed. Tonight’s just tonight.”
Ed was silent as they stepped into the elevator, and he let out a long breath once the doors slid shut on the two of them. “I like you,” he said, his eyes on Stede’s in the mirrored door. “It’s just…my life….”
Stede reached out and took his hand, giving it a light squeeze, then tugged until they were facing each other. “Tonight’s just tonight,” he said again, lifting his free hand to cup Ed’s cheek and letting his eyes drop to Ed’s mouth. “We can handle that.”
“Yeah,” Ed breathed. He leaned in and let his nose brush Stede’s, his breath a tease against Stede’s lips.
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Crossing Swords with the Pirate Captain by BookknobsandBroomsticks
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
16 Jan 2025
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Stede Bonnet is a romance novelist, not that anyone knows it when he's writing under a pseudonym. After all, surely nobody wants to buy a gay romance written by a single, middle-aged man who has spent most of his life married to a woman? But Stede’s latest book and unexpected hit, Crossing Swords with the Pirate Captain, is being turned into a movie and his favourite actor, Ed Teach, has asked to audition for the lead role.
Action hero Ed Teach is sick of the grind and performative masculinity that the action genre, and his agent Izzy, demand. He wants to branch out, he wants to come out and auditioning for the romantic lead in a film about gay pirates feels like the perfect way to do that.
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“That one with the leather and the hair, he’s getting cast for sure.”
“Oh, yeah. Doesn’t even matter if you can actually bake, when you look like that!”
“He’ll be this year’s Chigs, or Sandro. Everyone’s flavor, you know?”When Ed Teach gets cast on The Great British Bake Off, he understands the assignment. Look hot on camera, banter with the judges, bake memorable shit.
He isn’t there to make trouble. He isn't there to make friends.
And he certainly isn’t there to fall in love with fellow baker Stede Bonnet.
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A meditation on time and space and the ending of a marriage. Ed and Stede meet at a bar while Stede's traveling for work. This story is about the ripples from that night.
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The true history:
The Pacific Clipper was a Pan American Airlines scheduled commercial flight from San Francisco, California, to Auckland, New Zealand that operated from 1939 to 1941. All tickets were first class and cost around $15,000 in 2024 US dollars; passengers ate five course meals prepared by chefs from four star restaurants. From December 1941 to January 1942, the Pacific Clipper completed an unplanned nearly around-the-world flight: the first commercial circumnavigation of the globe. Oh, also, there is an actual historical guy referred to as ‘the Swede’ who was the First Engineer on the crew.The Our Flag Means Death version:
Our crew:
Captain Stede Bonnet
First Officer Frenchie
Second Officer/Navigator Buttons
Third Officer Wee John Feeney
Fourth Officer Archie
First Engineer The Swede
Second Engineer Pete
First Radio Officer Edward Teach
Second Radio Officer Jim Jimenez
Radio Operator Oluwande Boodhari
Purser Roach
Asst Purser Lucius Spriggs -
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So there Ed is, in this enormous room all decked out in ivory and gold, surrounded by one-percenters and inherited wealth and fucking caviar. And he sits under a canopy of twinkling crystals, and he plays his mood music, and the room slowly fills.
And the bride and groom are nowhere to be seen.
Ed’s starting to feel more and more like a member of the string quartet playing out the sinking of the fucking Titanic.
(Or: Ed's the harpist at a swanky wedding that's gone south. Stede's got his own problems. A one-night fastburn meet-cute: fluff, humour, eventual smut, and a truly obscene description of caviar)
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It's the late 90s. Stede, a senior in high school, takes a job at a local fast food franchise to earn some cash, hoping to make it out without his father's help. His trainer at work, Ed, wants to escape too. Maybe together they can get somewhere. Anywhere is better.
They'll get out, sure. But they have a whole lot to learn.
Childhood friends to lovers who don't talk about it to strangers to lovers, basically. Some angst, but hopefully balanced.
Thrilled to say this has been podfic'd by Lindie, the best who ever done it. Link here.
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Ed Teach is a freshly minted lawyer who is given what he thinks is a routine job - transfer of property to someone with limited ID. Easy, right? Instead he’s faced with Stede, a unique robot owned by the Bonnet household. And Stede's unique brain allows him to grow, and develop a creativity and an individuality that he was never meant to have, and most importantly, to want.
It’s bad enough, in this world, that humans want. Ed has spent his whole life pushing that urge down, to work towards what he’s supposed to aim for. Has fought hard not to stay in the mould that he was destined for, but has had to fight just as hard to tamp down his own wants to fit into the one he’s chosen. Has cut bits off and tried to forget how to want them. He can see why unbridled desire appearing in a robot - no shame, no need for conformity, only logic pathways and the Three Laws to guide them - would freak them out.
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Stede draws his attention back to the head massage, alternating pressure from the kind of bruising that’s enough to knead a migraine away, to gentle, delicate strokes through his hair. He grows almost meditative with it, forcing his eyes away from Ed’s face and simply enjoying the feeling of body heat and cool, damp-silk hair against his palms. Truthfully, he could do this for hours, rather than the usual three-to-five minutes that’s usually afforded to customers when they…
When…
It’s been longer than three-to-five minutes.
A quick glance at the clock reveals it’s been far, far longer than three-to-five minutes.
Stede doesn’t mind, obviously. And Ed doesn’t seem to be about to question it. But the snide little Lucius-like voice in the back of his mind points out that almost twenty fucking minutes is maybe a bit of an overkill.
Stede yanks his hands away from Ed’s hair like it’s covered in bleach.
“Okey-doke!” Stede manages, voice shrill and a little strangled.
From across the salon, the real Lucius snorts.
(OR: Stede's a hair stylist. Ed shows up for an appointment. And shows up. And shows up. And shows up...)
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Edward Teach had always felt drawn to acting and spent years of his life working his way up the ladder from obscurity to becoming an A-list action star that was a household name. He had done it all on his own merit and was proud that he'd finally reached the pinnacle of success. However, through it all, he had found himself fighting the nepotism of Hollywood and there was one name that had come against his own time and time again. Stede Bonnet.
Stede had gotten his start in show biz early, driven by his domineering father, he found it was one way to be close to his busy mother. And while it might not have been his first choice, he fell in love with it, gradually taking his place on the red carpet like his mother before him. When a fantasy script crossed his desk he signed on without a thought, not expecting Edward Teach to drag his name through the mud when it was revealed the casting director was white washing the source material.
After a year of keeping out of the public eye, he decides he's ready to step out again and signs on for something completely different in the form of a love story between two men. The only caveat? He's starring opposite of Edward Teach, a man he can't stand.
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The Bonnets go down the shore to Cape May, New Jersey during the same week every year. It’s tradition. But this year, everything about the Bonnet family has changed. The kids are off to summer camp, Mary is on a trip with her fiance, Doug, and Stede is newly single with no earthly idea what comes next. He books a room at The Queen Anne B&B — run by mysterious proprietor Blackbeard — and vows to make the best of his vacation alone. Stede’s life is about to change again in ways he could never have expected.
Series
- Part 1 of Exit Zero
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The first time, they don't even have sex.
Stede has just come aboard with Oluwande and the others. Lucius pops out from somewhere, looking haggard but firm, and close behind him is Jim, so that's nearly everyone accounted for.
And peering around the bare light of the deck... the strangest thing to Stede is that Izzy doesn't seem to look once toward the captain's quarters. Neither do his two cronies. Somehow they know that in spite of the initial shouting and stern voices before peace was settled, the captain is not going to make a showing.
Series
- Part 1 of Above Board
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Beneath the Cedar Wood Beams by CuFeilidh, Ivory_Feathers
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
04 Nov 2024
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Ed arrives at his lake cabin for a peaceful weekend, but is soon interrupted by the arrival of his new neighbour. However, the house that Stede has bought is less of a house and more of a deathtrap, and now Stede needs a place to stay.
Rather than sending Stede into town to stay at a hotel, Ed invites him to stay at his cabin for the night. The night turns into the weekend as they spend their time together, cooking, hiking, fishing, doing a little pampering and getting to know each other. By the time the weekend is ending, it’s clear that neither wants to give up what they’ve found in each other.
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a stranger with your door key by foxtails for LizPoppe
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
06 Nov 2024
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Ed is a wonderful houseguest. He’s quiet, and he’s tidy, and he mostly keeps to himself. He gets up with the birds, leaves half a kettle of freshly boiled water for Stede every morning, and is out of the door before Stede’s even entertained the idea of getting out of bed.
He’s also ridiculously, devastatingly handsome.
And therein, lies Stede's problem.
or: Stede gets reluctantly strong armed into hosting a friend of a friend for a week when their original accomodation falls through. Which would have been fine, uneventful even, if his new houseguest hadn't turned out to be absolutely, one-hundred percent his type.
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It’s 1972. The Cold War is on, velvet suits are in, and glam rock is about to launch into the stratosphere. So is geologist Stede Bonnet – the first scientist accepted into NASA’s Apollo training program. When veteran astronaut Ed Teach gets bumped off of the crew for Apollo 17, can Stede possibly fill his shoes?
Also available as a podfic!