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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Who touched you last?”

    Vetinari’s voice is quiet, a shattered, tired thing. “You.” His long, pale fingers close tightly over Vimes’ own, and the mask slips as his chin dips down and a deep, shivering sigh is forced from him.

    “That was when you were poisoned. That was almost a year ago.”

    “Almost, yes.” Vetinari’s tone suspiciously sounds like he could recite the exact time down to the hour, if asked.

    Vetinari is touch starved. Vimes touches him, and the Patrician breaks apart. Cuddles!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    27
  2. Tags
    Summary

    For various reasons - including an assassination attempt and somebody's terrible language skills - Vimes and Vetinari end up at a Quirmian wedding pretending to be a couple.


    For the prompts 'fake relationship' and 'tipping chin up' as requested by red_edelweiss.

    This is my new comfort fic; updates may be irregular and tags will be added as we go, but I do have a Plan(TM). Admittedly a large part of the Plan is to see just how many fun romance tropes I can squeeze into one fic, but hopefully it'll be entertaining for someone other than me.

    It's rated E for eventual smut, but the early chapters are Teen and up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,424
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    271
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1,753
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Havelock Vetinari had been visiting Rosie Palm on the twenty-eighth of every month for three years and despite her best efforts, she had never yet managed to get him into bed.


    Based on the quote prompt "When's the last time you slept?" by helenvader.

    Slightly one-sided Rosie/Havelock, and Vetinari is somewhere on the aroace spectrum in this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,379
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    56
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A body is found in an alley off of the Dimwell Docks, with nothing but a cut-throat, a stamped letter, and a green ribbon to their name. When the letter points towards the Chalk, Samuel Vimes has no choice but to let diplomacy take its natural course.

    Tiffany Aching, Witch of the Chalk, and Commander Vimes of the City Watch will have little choice but to work together if they are to catch the killer before they can escape from justice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,691
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    40
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Vimes waits for a lost kid to get picked up by his family.

    Vetinari comes with his daughter to collect his lost grandson.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    997
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    39
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Kidnapped and tortured for information, Vetinari's problems don't stop after being rescued.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,069
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    28
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Vimes came back to the waking world with a raging headache and barely any memories of what had happened before he passed out."

    Or,

    The consequences of someone poking The Summoning Dark with a stick are Sam's to deal with.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    573
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    51
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Vetinari's relationship with Drumknott becomes physical, and he worries about setting a boundary.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    475
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    33
  9. Tags
    Summary

    William de Worde was not a romantic by nature, in either sense of the word.

    Sprawling, verdant grasslands blanketed with daisies, enclosed by majestic pines, standing tall against the barrage of time, while a brook babbled softly in the background, did about as much for him revelation-wise as a half-eaten day-old curry from the Klatchian takeaway next door. He also wasn't one for dating.

    Which was why Sacharissa’s insistence on the Times promoting the new fad of a holiday based entirely around mushy feelings and romantic gestures came much to his dismay.

    (William, Sacharissa and Otto interview Ankh-Morpork’s couples about their relationships, and try their very hardest not to think about their own.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,190
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    380
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Drumknott notices something about Vetinari, and can't help but do something about it.

    For the quote prompt "Why haven't you been eating?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,194
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    66
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Vetinari visits Sybil and Young Sam.

    A short Sybil and Vetinari friendship fic for the quote prompt: "Unless you ask me not to in the next five seconds, I'm going to hug you."

    Set immediately post Night Watch, so some spoilers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    974
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  12. Tags
    Summary

    At yet another party he had no desire to attend, Vimes finds himself in unfamiliar territory and missteps as he angles to escape; only to back up and find himself pressed against a surprisingly sturdy body.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,005
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    101
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Une enquête exclusive et culinaire du commissaire Vimaire.

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    17,152
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    11
  14. Tags
    Summary

    There was once a woman, Eskarina Smith, that became a wizard (by accident) and arguably the most powerful wizard, but was there ever a man who was supposed to be a wizard, but who became a witch? This story seeks to answer such a question.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,399
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    139
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Anmerkung des Autors: Ich habe in den letzten Jahren viele Kurzgeschichten geschrieben. Einige sind nicht länger als 100 bis 500 Wörter. Ich habe beschlossen, diese Kurzgeschichten in einer Sammlung zusammenzufassen. Eine Sammlung unabhängiger Shorts Story aus verschiedenen Serien und Filmen.

    Language:
    Deutsch
    Words:
    280,917
    Chapters:
    299/300
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,526
  16. Tags
    Summary

    People are, in a way, machines. Havelock Vetinari knows machines, he likes how they act predictably. But when his cousin needs him to be more of a human and less of a machine, he will either learn to show he cares or he'll lose the only family he has left. Can he do it without becoming someone he is not?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,860
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    24
  17. Tags
    Summary

    In a bar with a misspelled sign and a god who's learned to pour drinks instead of wine libations, the forgotten find sanctuary.

    When Santa Claus and the Hogfather leave a gift for Dionysus—a carved wooden sign declaring his struggling dive bar a sanctuary for all beliefs, especially the quiet ones—they unknowingly create a haven for the diminished divine. Gods who've adapted to survive in a world that's moved on begin to find their way to his door.

    Over the course of one year, Dionysus transforms from a bartender simply surviving to the keeper of something sacred: a place where gods don't have to pretend they're still powerful, where adaptation isn't failure, and where showing up—day after day, Tuesday after Tuesday—is its own form of worship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,088
    Chapters:
    39/39
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    83
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A bit of silliness for your day, drabble of Gytha Ogg dropping off a potion for Esme Weatherwax.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    11
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The split in time is not always so neat and clean. Sometimes there is a good deal of blood and pain before you can reach a type of potential you never knew existed. Lord Havelock Vetinari and Commander Sam Vimes might have a whole lot of both before it is all said and done. In the dark streets of Ankh-Morpork, a new game of cat and mouse is played.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,876
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    24
    Hits:
    301
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Nikt nie pytał, a tym bardziej nikt nie potrzebował, ale oto jestem z crossoverem Fallouta ze Światem Dysku.

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    1,303
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    11

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