Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Far From Home by kanula
Fandoms: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller, Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
07 Sep 2024
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Summary
On the worn gravel path leading towards the Greek camp, a Mycenaean chariot rolls in, two white stallion mares guiding the reins. It is painted in rich, navy blue, adorned with many intricate ornaments, and it is most certainly a sight for sore eyes. Atop the chariot perches the princess of Mycenae, the eldest daughter of King Agamemnon.
With grace, the young girl lifts the hem of her dress with one deft hand to step off the chariot, the other hand clutching the chariot’s railing for support. Achilles watches from afar as the girl traces her fingers on the markings etched on the chariot, her eyes betraying none of her thoughts.
He finds that he can’t quite recall the girl’s name. He supposes he’ll figure it out when the priest recites their names during the marriage ceremony.
“Are you sure you’re ready?” Patroclus whispers a breath away from him.
“I’ll be fine,” Achilles murmurs in a manner he hopes to be reassuring. Retracting his hand, he turns back towards the girl as she steps up beside him, next to the altar. In the corner of his eye, he sees Patroclus turn away, disappearing into the crowd of the witnessing Achaeans.
Series
- Part 1 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
It was bound to happen eventually.
When Rhea had come to her to explain her plan to save her newborn son from his terrible fate, the only outcome of this act of mercy would be more violence.
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The reign of the titans is over. Cronos is overthrown.
A new era of gods and goddesses is about to begin.
The beginning of the end.
Series
- Part 2 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
Dionysus should not have gone to the feast.
He’s always chosen to decline any offers to attend the famed feasts that take place every day at dusk on Mount Olympus. The feasts are quite a huge deal, and one does not usually decline such an invitation.
It is a place where many different gods of varying status set aside their petty grievances and spend the evening together in splendour, celebrating their time of glory in the riches of ambrosia and nectar.
However, despite being the god of wine, which, according to Hermes, is equivalent to being “the god of the party,” he doesn’t understand the appeal to this particular invite.
***
As he nods along absently to a new story Hermes has brought to the table concerning the wonders of his travels, with the other gods surrounding them falling silent to tune into the tale as well, he catches fleeting glimpses of Hera’s lingering stares from across the table, her eyes narrowed as she scrutinizes him.
For what purpose this would serve her at the moment, he’s unsure.
But at least there's nothing she could do to him at the moment.
Probably.
Series
- Part 3 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
- Part 1 of Mortal Beloved
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Summary
As the fires lick away at the city of Troy, Helen watches as the flames all but devour the homes in its wake, uncaring of the fleeing inhabitants that are caught in the crossfire. Everything is ablaze, and down goes the powerhouse of Troy, reduced to nothing more than a magnificent torch against the night.
She turns away from the window and goes back to her place next to Cassandra, who kneels below the statue of Athena, head bowed and hands clenched together in prayer as she murmurs fervent pleas for mercy.
Helen kneels beside the praying priestess of Apollo, ignoring all the heated glares thrown in her direction as she adjusts her dress and mimics the way in which Cassandra clasps her hands together.
***
Or: what if Helen was at Athena’s temple with Cassandra?
Series
- Part 4 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
Inside the temple of Zeus, Neoptolemus stomps towards the supplicating king of Troy, uncaring of the potential wrath of the gods as he drags Priam to the altar.
“No, please!” Andromache pleads. Astyanax is tucked away in her arms, shielded from the horror he is about to witness, and Helen is glad that the boy lacks the age and wisdom to understand why his mother cries.
Helen holds Andromache as she sobs in her arms, and both women watch, unable to do anything as Priam struggles against the unrelenting grip the raging son of Achilles has on his arm, twisting and turning on the floor in an attempt to gain some leverage, but it was in vain.
Helen watches in horrific silence as Neoptolemus beheads the king before the altar of Zeus. Blood squirts out of Priam’s bare neck, his face frozen in a permanent state of tantalizing shock and fear as it’s thrown across the room. Neoptolemus drops the body, letting it plop to the floor in a sickening thud, before turning to Andromache.
***
Or: what if Helen was at Zeus' temple with Priam? (I don't remember if Astyanax and Andromache were there or not, but let's say they were there too.)
Series
- Part 5 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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The Siren Sillies by kanula
Fandoms: EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums), Ancient Greek Religion & Lore
11 Sep 2024
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Summary
Eurylochus sighs, steeling himself for Odysseus’ fury. “There were two Penelopes. In the water.”
At once, Odysseus shifts from indifferent to indignant as he immediately splutters in disbelief. “What? No way,” he shakes his head disbelievingly, and before Eurylochus gets a chance to offer any of his wise advice to ease his friend’s addled mind, Odysseus has already put himself out there, like the fool he is.
“Hey! Which one of you buffoons are after my Penelope?” He demands, and all heads turn to his direction, gaping at him as if he’d grown an extra head. “I have been told that there was a second siren that looked like my wife!”
Eurylochus facepalms. Externally, this time, just to make sure his disapproval is visible to everyone in the room.
Or ship. Whatever.
Series
- Part 6 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
She is in the cottage again.
The small sack of food and wine that Theseus had so-generously left behind for her is now long emptied of its contents, the bag itself tossed aside and discarded at the foot of the bed.
This will be how her journey ends.
She feels like a fool. Why? Why did she decide to interfere? Why did she decide to help him? She snatches the pillow from its place on the bed (where only a few days ago, she had been lying in his arms, somehow deluding herself into thinking that her life was only beginning) and sends it flying into the wall. The unrelenting, stone floor digs into her knees and she howls into her hands, a raw and ragged scream that she didn’t even know she was capable of tearing its way out of her throat.
***
Ariadne mourns herself. She mourns over all the sorrow she’s faced over the small, meagre years of her life. All the pain and hardships she’s endured as the heiress of the throne, princess of Crete, and daughter of Minos.
Everything she’s ever prevailed at in life– all her triumphs, her victories, her sacrifices– only for it all to be for naught. Only to be forgotten.
Only for her to end like this. Bitter, depressed, and alone.
Series
- Part 7 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
- Part 2 of Mortal Beloved
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But Now We'll Be the Ones who SLAY! by kanula
Fandoms: EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums)
16 Sep 2024
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Summary
“Hey!” Telemachus barges into the room and stomps over to the cluster of suitors, who stop mid-cackle as the prince forces his way into their circle of gossip.
As he edges closer, the suitors groan, unwilling to sit through yet another baffling conversation with the prince.
The prince in question stares at Antinous in disbelief. “My guy, are you still trying to rizz up my mom?”
There the kid goes again, with his strange “modern” and “evolved” language.
Beside him, Eurymachus rolls his eyes, and Antinous thinks that this may be the only time they’d ever be in agreement with one another.
Series
- Part 8 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
Despite how much he wishes it wasn’t so, Antinous knows he cannot lay a finger on the queen.
That would definitely be breaking the laws of Xenia.
She’s just a defenseless widowed woman, after all. To force himself on her without having married her would not end up well for him.
No one is allowed to lay a hand on the legendary Odysseus’ claim. (At least, no ordinary man would be granted such an honour.) Sure, the queen may be to blame if she was caught being unfaithful, but Antinous’ name would be tainted in the process. The most realistic scenario would result with his head secured on a pike, for breaking the laws of Xenia and disrespecting the mighty Odysseus.
But.
Lately, he’s been thinking.
To soil someone else’s wife in such an unsanctioned manner is one thing. He wouldn’t get away with that–- not when said wife is the Queen of Ithaca herself.
However, the story will go about a lot differently if it's her son that’s defiled in such an unfashionable manner.
How embarrassing would it be, to be that much lesser than another man? To be overtaken and stripped of one’s dignity in the same way a woman would?
Series
- Part 9 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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Summary
As the little speck that is the island, Naxos, grows larger and larger and comes into view, Phaedra can only feel her anxiousness heighten.
But she cannot back down.
She's weighed the risks. She knows the perils of this journey, and she will tread onwards.
Even Theseus cannot stop her this time. As the years passed, she realized it was hopeless to ask her husband to let her go visit Naxos.
“A foolish inquiry,” he’d scoff whenever she braved herself into asking him the same question again. “You think the god would react nicely to you turning up on his island, demanding the return of your sister?” He would roll his eyes and turn back to what he was doing. “Don’t make me laugh.”
***
Or: Phaedra was wed to Theseus as an apology gift to Athens.
Upon disembarking on Athens, she demanded to know what had happened to her sister. Theseus told her that they landed on Naxos, an island that belonged to the god Dionysus.
Then Dionysus had asked for Ariadne. With no choice, he had to give her up.
Phaedra was devastated. And furious.
After years of letting the thought of her sister suffering consume her, she pulls some strings and finally hitches a trip to Naxos.
Series
- Part 10 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
- Part 3 of Mortal Beloved
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You're A Sneaky Little Imposter, Aren't You? by kanula
Fandoms: Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums), Among Us (Video Game)
18 Jan 2025
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Summary
“Why did you hit the red button again?” Apollo groans as he slumps in his seat, planting his face dramatically into the table. “Is this really necessary? We just had a meeting thirty minutes ago!”
“Well, I wasn’t done talking yet!” Hermes huffs as he crosses his arms, the beginnings of a pout already forming on his face. “And besides, the last meeting hadn’t ended. You all just left, so I had to wait for thirty minutes for this goddamned thing to reload. By the way, we should really get that fixed.” Hermes extended a hand and reached for the button in the middle of the table, spam-pressing it a couple times demonstratively.
“Enough nonsense!” Poseidon slams a fist on the table. “There’s so many of us still alive. Why the hell did you summon us back here?”
Hermes’ eye twitches. “For the last time, we’re not leaving until the majority of us agree to vote out Aphrodite!”
“Absolutely not.” Ares rises from his seat from across the table and towers over them all. “We will be doing no such thing. She was with me the entire time.”
“Ah, thank you, dear,” Aphrodite chirps before tugging his sleeve. “Do sit down, though. It is in our best interest to look as non-threatening as possible.”
Series
- Part 11 of Greek Myth Shenanigans
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A Remarkable Journessy of Finding Peace and Closure by kanula
Fandoms: EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums)
22 Feb 2025
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Summary
“I have not been fishing much as of late, either,” Odysseus admits. Food was never really an issue for the past few years.
“Really?” Telemachus asks him, his gaze curious. “How did you find food then?”
Odysseus pauses, his rows hovering in the air.
He wants to tell his son. He really does. He told Penelope on the first night of his return, years upon years of hurt, misery, and fear spilling past his lips as he cried into her arms. She held his hand when he had asked; she embraced him in her arms when he let her. She was accepting.
Odysseus knows his son will be just as accepting, too.
Telemachus should know.
The words hang over the tip of his tongue.
He hesitates.
Series
- Part 12 of Greek Myth Shenanigans